Ambers Got a Gun
by experimentalgirl17
Summary: Amber goes to a new school and meets the Lilly Truscott, Miley Stewart, and Oliver. She finds herself unwillingly caught in the middle of a love/friendship triangle of two other girls. The story is mainly from Lilly and Amber ’s point of view.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N – This is somewhat of a cross over story for ICarly and Hannah Montana. The person who crosses over is the character Amber from my story ICarly No More. I do suggest you read that story first before this one but it is not required. It would help through. **

**Warning – story is M rated for sexual content, sexual abuse, language, and thoughts of suicide. **

**Disclaimer – of course I do not own the rights for ICarly or Hannah Montana.**

**Synopsis – Everything that happened to Amber St. Clair in the story ICarly No more happened her junior year of high school, except her parents did die when she was thirteen. When she was in her junior year and sixteen she was attacked by the three girls, Sam Puckett (Amber's first and deep love) broke up with her and started dating Carly Shay (yes they have a relationship now), her best friend Ran Isuel died of Leukemia her junior year of high school, and her brother went back in the Marines and was sent back to Afghanistan (Per his desire). **

**This story deals with Amber going to live with an aunt and uncle she never met and did not know she even had. They live in Malibu Ca. and Amber goes to a new school and meets the Lilly Truscott, Miley Stewart, and Oliver. She finds herself unwillingly caught in the middle of a love/friendship triangle of two other girls. The story is mainly from Lilly and Amber 's point of view.**

**Prologue – Sacrifices**

Amber zipped up her suitcase as she finished packing the last of her clothes. Her wardrobe was extensive and at one time she would have hoped her Uncle Arthur and Aunt Marian would have room for her clothes and shoes, but now she really did not care. Amber did not get joy from shopping or trying on new outfits or even wearing them as she did months ago. In truth, Amber did not get any joy in life at all anymore. It was the end of August and she was moving to start a new life she did not want and live with people she did not even know. But it was her choice to change. Mr. and Mrs. Isuel begged her to stay and live with her and let them adopt her, but Amber could not allow that to happen, she loved her segregate parents to much to stay. If she stayed then they would be the next victims of the curse that plagued the sixteen year old girl. She could not let that happen to them. Amber looked around the room with sadness and sighed.

She was sixteen and petite. She stood only five three and a small thin body but not sickly thin and had a nice shape for her size. Amber had long black hair that came down to the middle of her back and her very pretty heart shaped face was framed by two locks of that hair that she braided and were died a crimson red. Her skin was a pale alabaster color and her eyes were a brilliant shade of emerald green that used to sparkle with life, but know just seemed to be dull and void of any emotion. She wore her makeup in Goth Fashion with heavy dark mascara and eye shadow (applied heavier in the recent months than before) and crimson lipstick to match her finger nail polish. Amber has always been told she was a beautiful lovely girl, but she never believed it. She thought she was cute, but not beautiful. She smiled sadly and thought once more of Mr. and Mrs. Isuel and what she told them.

Mr. and Mrs. Isuel had been Amber's segregate parents since her own parents died in an automobile accident when she was thirteen and they were also the parents of her best friend Hu-Ran, just Ran to her friends. The Korean couple loved Amber as a daughter since she and Ran first met when the girls were five years old. Amber loved them as much as she did her own parents but she could not stay with them. Amber walked to the night stand in the room that she used to share with her best friend and the Isuel's daughter Ran, until Ran died of Leukemia seven months ago. She took off a silver ring with Korean characters on it and placed it on the night stand. After her brother died in Afghanistan three months ago the Isuels wanted to adopt her and then the court discovered she had an uncle and aunt she never knew. They were contacted and for some reason they decided Amber should live with them. The Isuel's were willing to fight it in court and would have won since they had a very loving and established relationship with Amber. At first Amber wanted them to and when the case was being discussed in the courts, Amber suddenly decided she wanted to move. Mr. and Mrs. Isuel asked her why and begged her to stay, but she refused and even told the Korean couple she loved as parents she did not want to live with them and they would never be family to her and she needed a real family and not two people trying to replace a daughter they lost. The words hurt the couple and crushed Amber, but Amber knew it had to be done because she loved the two so much.

"I'm sorry, Ran, I truly am…but I can't wear it anymore. I don't deserve it anymore!" Amber said aloud and wanted to cry. She wanted to cry, but she had not tears left. She was sad…more than sad, her heart was crushed, but she could not cry. She had cried all year for the losses she suffered and now her heart was growing cold. "Ran, please forgive me…I beg you as you once begged me…please forgive me! I hope your mom and dad will too, but I don't think they will. I said mean cruel things to them I did not mean, but I love them to much to see them hurt and…and to die."

Amber thought of the curse she had on her. The curse that caused everyone she loved to die. First it was her mom and dad. They died when she was thirteen. Then it was her best friend Ran, a girl she loved more than a sister or lover or anybody she ever loved before besides her mother. Next it was her brother, Patrick. He was killed while serving in the marines in Afghanistan. Weeks after the funeral Amber got a letter from his commanding officer explaining how her brother sacrificed his own life to save the life of a ten year old Afghan girl. It was a nice letter telling her she should be proud of him and how he served his country with honor and in the letter was a medal her brother was awarded. Amber did not care for the letter or the medal or the ten year old girl. Fuck pride, fuck honor, fuck the letter, fuck the medal, and fuck the ten year old girl, Amber screamed after she read the letter! She just wanted her brother back.

Then her curse struck Sam Puckett and it was that death that made Amber realize she could not love anyone and to move live with an aunt and uncle she never knew. Amber loved Samantha Puckett even if the girl did not love her anymore. Sam was her first true romantic love and they dated and lived together for a while until that bitch Carly Shay decided she too was in love with Sam instead of being just her best friend. Amber knew the love Sam had for Carly and she could not compete with that love or Carly in general. The Goth girl still vividly remembered the day she came home to the house her and Sam lived in together and found Sam and Carly in bed together. True they had broken up at the time…or as Sam put it "on a break" but that did not mean Amber loved Sam any less. Amber quickly shook her head to get the image of Sam's head between Carly's naked thighs from her mind. She still loved Sam a great deal and cried when Carly called her to tell her Sam was shot dead while she was in a convenience store when two men robbed the place. Carly even extended friendship to Amber then, but Amber rejected her. How could she be friends with the bitch who stole the love of her life from her? Another victim of the curse she had. Another person she loved dead. Amber could not let that happen to the last two people alive she loved. She had to leave to protect Ran's mom and dad.

Amber walked downstairs with two bags, the others would be sent later along with her car that belonged to her brother and now her, and saw the Isuel's waiting for her in the kitchen. Mr. Isuel hugged her tight and choked out he would send her other belongings to her and left the room. Amber knew he would go in private to morn. Mrs. Isuel then hugged her tight and cried.

"Amber, you know you can stay…we want you to…please reconsider. We…we love you so much." The small attractive Korean woman pleaded. Amber just stood there with her arms at her side. She wanted desperately to wrap her arms around the woman she loved like a mother and beg her forgiveness for words she said and did not mean. She wanted this woman to hold her and comfort her while she cried over the loss for the people she loved. But she couldn't. She had to be strong and she had to leave.

"No…I have to go. T…thank you for…for all you have done." Amber said and pried herself from the crying woman's arms and walked out of the door to the waiting cab. She ignored the loud sobs behind her as she walked from the house forever and left behind the two remaining people she loved with all her heart. The only love she had left to give. Amber knew she would never be back and never love again. She looked back one more time and saw Mr. Isuel standing in the living room window looking at her. She quickly turned back around and fought the urge to run back into the house and his arms.

Amber got into the cab and took a deep breath. She wished she could cry again. She wished she could stay, but she could not. Her heart was broken, cold, and dead. She started to ask God to protect the two but then chuckled to herself. God did not exist to her anymore.

Chapter One – Lilly Meets the New Girl.

Lilly Truscott nodded her head to Oliver who was sitting across the cafeteria waving at her to join him. She smiled and made her way to his table. So far she was having a nice first week of school. They were seniors and this was their last year and she was going to make it the best one yet. She missed Miley, but her best friend would be back in a few weeks after she finished filming her new movie. Lilly talked to Miley almost every day and while Hannah was having a good time, Miley told her Miley's time sucked. She missed her friend a great deal. As Lilly walked to the table she felt a few boys eye her…well more her nice shapely butt…and smiled. She even added a little more shake to it to entice them more. Lilly smiled, she became a terrible flirt over the past year and loved it. Her and Oliver stopped dating after a brief romance but stayed best friends and she and Miley had their fling before that but Miley decided she was just curious and started dating Jake again. Lilly really was not jealous…much…and remained very close to Miley as well. Lilly liked to flirt, date, and was no longer the shy girl she had been last year. Losing her virginity to both Oliver and Miley gave her a new found confidence in herself. Lilly used to tease her two friends and get Miley's agreement how fun it was to be a virgin twice. Once with girls and the other with boys and Miley shocked her when she confided to Lilly later that she was still a virgin with boys. She told Miley she would do things to Jake but she had yet to have sex with him. Lilly was shocked because when the two girls had their brief passionate fling, Miley was full of passion, desire, and seemed she could never get enough sex.

"What's up, Ollie?" Lilly said as she sat down.

"No much, Lillian, just waiting for you and news on our star. How's she doin?"

Lilly sighed, "Don't call me Lillian…you know I hate that…and she is good. She can't wait to get home…she misses me." Lilly said with a smug smile.

Oliver laughed, "Well I remember you used to like it when I called you Lillian…just like I used to like it when you called me Ollie…which I don't anymore by the way."

Lilly laughed, "Yeah...I used to like it when I had your dick in my mouth to, but things change Ollie."

Oliver laughed as well, "God, you can be so crude…and yes I used to like that as well stop looking at me like that…so anyway fill me in on the details."

Lilly told Oliver about her latest call from Miley and what their pop star friend was doing. While she talked to the boy, Lilly noticed the new girl walking through the cafeteria to sit at a table by herself. Lilly saw her a few times over the past few days and thought she was just beautiful; so small and delicate like a perfectly hand crafted doll. She heard the girl did not talk to anyone and kept to herself. Lilly thought she looked very sad. She talked to Oliver and stared at the girl. She very much looked like an outsider in her Goth makeup and dress. Today she was wearing a short black skirt, a red and black corset over which she wore a short light leather jacket. She wore black stockings that Lilly noticed were thigh highs as the girl sat down and Lilly saw her inadvertently flash a thigh under the table. On her hands the girl wore black lace fingerless gloves that went up to her elbows. Oliver had to ask Lily several times to repeat something since his friend seemed to be focusing on something else. The boy followed her gaze and saw the new girl. Oliver had two classes with her and thought she was strange. The girl sat alone and ignored the stares and jokes directed to her as she ate a little bit if her food and focused on writing in a composite notebook. The new girl was very out of place at the school and the only Goth at a school filled with mostly jocks, preps, and skaters.

"Lilly…earth to Lilly…finish telling me what she said. When is she going to be back?" Oliver asked.

Lily turned to her friend, "Yeah…oh…few weeks. Hey, Oliver…you have a class with her don't you…the new girl? What's she like?"

Oliver looked at her friend, "Yeah…two of them…and she is strange. Keeps to herself and ignores everyone who tries to talk to her. Hell she had even been asked out twice and just smiled and told the boys to leave her alone. She was very polite about it through. She…well…she's a freak, Lilly. Why?"

Lilly stood up, "I don't know. She intrigues me a little…and she is fucking hot. I am going to introduce myself."

Oliver sighed, "Lilly, come on…she is a huge freak…look at her and those clothes…plus if she did want to date you, Miley would be pissed."

Lilly smiled, "First, I am just going to talk to her…she looks sad…and second Miley is dating Jake and has no reason to be jealous of me anymore."

The boy laughed, "Yeah I know but she does get jealous; remember when you dated that girl over the summer…Allison…Miley freaked."

Lilly laughed, "Ollie, dear, I love Miley and she is my best friend…but she _does not_ tell me who I talk to or who I date. If I want to get laid I will. Plus I am just…well…intrigued with the girl. Nothing more."

Lilly walked over to the new girl who was so focused writing in her notebook she did not see the blonde sit down. Lilly waited ten seconds. "Hey." She said simple and the girl looked up and at closer look Lily thought the girl was prettier than she thought before. She wore heavy applied black eye makeup and crimson lipstick and Lily thought she was hot. The girl smile tightly at her and went back to writing.

Lily frowned, she was not used to being ignored, "I said hello…I guess you did not see me sit down. Soooo again hello."

The girl looked up, "Yes I saw you sit down and heard you the first time. I was just hoping you would ignore me and leave. I really don't mean to be rude but I want to be left alone. Thank you." The girl said politely.

Lily smiled, normally she would call the girl a bitch and leave, but like she told Oliver, something about this girl, besides her beauty and dress, intrigued her. "Well…I wanted to introduce myself and if you could please stop writing and talk for a few minutes I can be on my way _ooor_ you just may find you like my company and ask me to stick around a moment. So what are you writing anyway?" Lily said with a smile. The Goth girl looked up and closed her notebook. She then folded her hands neatly and lady like over the book, looked at Lilly, and sighed.

"Ok…let's get this over with. I am the new girl and a freak and outsider here so I guess you are the cool girl who hangs with the popular crowd and you were chosen to torment me and make my life a living hell while I am here. Well, popular girl, may I ask we do this tomorrow. I promise I will be here at the same time and you can do whatever you do to me then. I am finishing a letter to a friend and have a few more thoughts in would like to write down before you beat my ass and make me lose them. I promise tomorrow I will be a willing victim. And I am pretty easy to beat up since I am pretty weak and all and it should not be a problem for you. I don't know how to fight so you can hit me over and over to your heart's content."

Lilly laughed, "That's funny…and no it is not me...except the popular part…I am too cute not to be. My name is Lilly…Lilly Truscott…and I wanted to meet you. I am not here to do anything to you but maybe help you get used to a new school and be a friend. So what do you say?"

The Goth girl smiled briefly and Lilly noticed her eyes got a spark when she mentioned her name. Lilly thought those eyes could hypnotize her when they sparkled like that. "Lilly…beautiful name…" the girl muttered and then her eyes went to their cold lifeless green again, "well Lilly, that is a kind gesture, but I am not going to be around much longer…but thank you…it was nice of you." The girl picked her pen back up and was going to write again but looked up when Lilly did not move. She gave the pretty blonde girl a curious look. Lilly smiled again.

"Just wanted to know your name so I could introduce you around to my friends…just in case I run into you later, you know."

The girl sighed, "Amber…my name is Amber St. Claire. So may I be alone now so I can finish my letter?"

Lilly stood, "Sure thing, Amber St. Claire, and nice to meet you. I'll see you around and hopefully we can talk again." Lilly walked back to the table with Oliver and the boy smiled at her. "See…she's a freak. I told you."

Lilly gave Oliver a sharp look, "Shut the fuck up Ollie…she is not a freak," Lilly glanced out the girl and frowned, "She is…she is a sad girl…a very sad girl."

Amber opened her notebook and finished the last two pages left in the book and the bell rang signaling lunch was over. Amber pulled a black silk ribbon from her purse and tied it around the notebook in a bow. She gathered her other belongings and went to her next class. It was gym and she would not dress out and get a zero for the day again. She did not care if she did just like her other classes. Amber thought it humorous in a non humorous way that she used to always strive to be perfect in her school work and most of the time was. She had dreams of going to Berkley ever since she was twelve and she had the perfect grades and an awesome SAT score to go there or any other school she wanted, but know she did not care. She only wanted one thing so she just sat in her class writing in her book the "letter" to her friend when she could and ignored everyone else. During her last class, History, they had a pop quiz and Amber just signed her name to the paper and turned it in. She knew all the answers but she did not care. She did not care about anything anymore. She just wished she had the courage she needed. The courage to do what she needed so she could see the people she loved again. She wished she had the courage to do what she needed to do to see her Ran again.

Over the next two days, Lilly sought out the strange new girl but did not see her much. Lilly tried to talk to the girl again at lunch the next day, but again got told to leave her alone. Lilly grinned at how polite the girl had been and was even more intrigued by her. The next day Amber stopped coming to the cafeteria to eat and Lilly only saw glances of her in the halls. She asked Oliver about her and the boy told her the same. She was quite and a freak. Lilly slapped him across the head for his comment. It wasn't until Friday afternoon that Lilly got to interact with the new girl. Lilly had her back pack across her shoulder and was going to meet Oliver at the beach later. She was glad school was over for the day and about to make it out the door when she noticed a small commotion out of the corner of her eye. It looked as if a fight started. Lilly was curious to see who was involved and pushed her way through the small crowd. The pretty blonde saw the bitches Ashley Dewitt and Amber Addison standing over the new girl. The Goth girl was on her knees picking up her books that were scattered on the hall floor. Lilly felt her anger rise and pushed Ashley from behind and the girl fell against the locker.

"God, bitch, leave her alone!" Lilly yelled.

Amber Addison smiled at Lilly, "Aww…did we bother your new girlfriend? God Lilly, your taste in girls sure has gone downhill. At least Allison was pretty, but this whore is a freak.

Ashley giggled as she walked to stand next to her friend. "Yeah Truscott, the new girl is a freak and I thought she may be a dyke like you and now we know she is. If you can't at least fuck boys, get girls with more class than this trashy whore. I warned her once to stay away from my boyfriend but she couldn't keep to herself. Umm…maybe she likes both boys and girls…do you whore? Do you like both dick and pussy?"

Amber looked up, "I didn't talk to him. He came on to me. I told you I would not talk to him and I didn't. I did as you asked, so please leave me alone." Lilly noticed that while Amber was not really defending herself there was no pleading in her voice. It was just a dead pan sounding statement.

"Please, whore, Michael would not even let a girl like you lick his shoes. I warn you, leave him alone!"

"Ashley, your boyfriend is an asshole and will fuck anything that moves…look at you…so leave the girl alone or I will kick your ass."

The two popular girls backed up and then walked away. Lilly bent down and helped Amber pick up her books. She handed the Goth girl the books she picked up and the girl took them, whispered a thank you. Lilly noticed for the first time the girl had a loose sloppy wrapped bandage on her left hand.

"Yeah, they can be bitches but don't worry about them. They would really never hurt you physically, just words. Here give me your hand, your bandage is falling off." Lilly did not wait for an answer and gently grabbed the girl's arm. Amber tried to pull it back, but Lilly was much stronger than she was. Lilly unwrapped it and her eyes grew wide.

"God, girl…what happened…it looks awful!" The hand was burned and Lilly could see small imprints of an iron burned into the girl's palm.

"I…I burned myself ironing." Amber said and jerked her hand back. "I…I have to go. The man…I mean my uncle…is waiting for me and he does not like it when I am late."

Lilly smiled sadly at the girl, "You should get that looked at and put something on it…it looks bad. It must hurt and don't worry about those bitches…they are really harmless.

Amber looked at Lilly and let out a harsh non humorous chuckle, "Well…they could not do anything to me that had not been done before anyway…again thank you." The girl muttered and walked away. Lilly watched her go and felt sadness for her. Something was wrong with that girl and she wanted to find out. The blonde shrugged and was about to leave when she noticed a black and white notebook with a black ribbon tied around it on the floor that slid under the lockers. Lilly picked it up and was about to run after Amber to give it back then hesitated.

"Ok…yeah it's so so wrong, Lilly, but I have to read it! Maybe then I could find out what is wrong with her. I can then just turn it in to a teacher and they can give it back to the girl." Lilly stuffed the notebook into her back pack and went to meet Oliver at the beach. She would change into her bikini there.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Lilly was sitting on the beach reading the words written in the book and became fascinated and even obsessed with not just the words, but the girl who wrote them. Oliver kept begging her to go surfing with him and she kept brushing him off. He then started trying to get amorous with her and she had to threatened to grab his testicles and squeeze them until they crushed if he did not leave her alone. They had hooked up every now and then after they broke up just for some sex between good friends, but Lilly was to into reading the journal for anything else. It was a journal that the strange new Goth girl wrote as if she was talking to or writing a letter to a friend. While it covered portions of the girls' life when she was younger, according to the dates in the upper right hand corner of each page, it was recently written. It told of her parents' death when she was younger and of the kindness her best friend's, Ran, parents and her love for them and her love for her friend Ran. Lilly got a little envious of the way the girl described that love for her friend and hoped she loved Miley that much. It was an incredible love and friendship. It told a little of how the poor girl was jumped and beaten badly by three girls from her previous high school and how she suffered verbal abuse and rumors over her years there. It told of her love for a girl named Samantha and the betrayal of finding her girlfriend in bed with another girl but how Amber still loved the blonde with incredible passion. Oliver had to pry Lilly from the journal to get her to go home. It was getting late and the blonde declined an offer for dinner and went home to eat. He mom fixed her some dinner and she sat there reading the words. Later she went upstairs and read the notebook in her room. She got to the more recent writings, the writings that seemed to tug at Lilly's heart. First her friend Ran died and when Lilly read that part and the way the girl described her grief she felt tears of her own slide down her cheeks. Then the poor girl's bother died while serving in the marines in Afghanistan and then the shooting death of the girl she loved, Samantha, in a store robbery. Lilly read how Amber loved the parents of her best friend but opted to live with relatives she did not know thinking to protect them. Lilly read how her uncle and aunt wanted her to live with them even if they had never met her. It soon became apparent why. Amber's uncle Arthur was her father's half brother. Apparently her father and his half brother have not spoken in years, even before Amber was born. They acted nice and sweet and caring at first. Arthur was a prominent plastic surgeon in Malibu (Lilly even knew who and heard his name mentioned often) who lost his license due to prescribing drugs illegally. He got his license back but his practice suffered a great deal and he lost a number of clients. They wanted the money Amber may have gotten from her parents. And her parents did leave her a large sum and then she was the beneficiary of her brother's life insurance as well. Unknown to her new guardians at the time was that all the money except a small monthly allowance was put in a trust she would not get until she was eighteen and the trustee was a Byung Isuel (Lilly new it was the girl's best friend's father). Byung was a very intelligent man and also a very good judge of character. He did not sign over that trust to Amber's Uncle Arthur so they got nothing. To say her uncle and aunt were angry was an understatement. They beat Amber until she promised to add them to her current bank account so they could take the money that was allotted to her monthly and they took her check book and credit cards from her. They also made her promise to get a job to work after school. Lilly learned through her reading that her aunt Marian was a drunk and addicted to prescription pills and very cruel. Her aunt and uncle have a nine year old daughter Amber had not met yet since the little girl was attending a summer camp. _God, no wonder she is so depressed…everyone she loved has died and she left two people she obviously loved like her own parents to live with these poor excuses of human beings…ohhh poor girl…she needs a friend_! Lilly thought and decided she would try her best to befriend the girl. Lilly looked at her clock and it read 2:38am. She decided to read one more entry before going to sleep. She was enthralled and deeply saddened by the writing. This one was dated two weeks ago.

"My Dearest Ran,

I am so sorry….please forgive me, baby! I need to beg your forgiveness for the promise I broke to you! I tried, baby, I tried so hard! But I cannot do it! I want to…I have even tried but I am such a coward! Please forgive me, Ran…please. Oh God I have tried to do it but I can't. I will…I will soon…please just give me time! I will be with you soon…I promise! My dearest Ran…do you remember the day we were in my bed after the only fight we ever had…and it was not your fault Ran…please understand that! I know you always felt it was and you always felt the guilt of that, but it was not your fault. I know you felt that guilt even when you were in that terrible hospital bed, but it was not your fault and I never blamed you! Please know I never blamed you! Anyway…remember when I told you I wished you were gay so I could love in a different way that I do love you and you laughed and told me you just could not be…I regret that you were not. I truly wished I could have made love to you one time. I experience the passion you have. I know the love we have was more and deeper than any love we ever had for anyone we dated and were in love with, including Samantha and Jason…and even the love you had for my brother (who I wish I could have made love you back just to see you happy), but I wish I could have experienced the passionate love you had to give as a lover…even if it was just once. I just wanted you to know that and stop telling me I am gross and stop laughing at me!

I read your letter you wrote before you died everyday and carry it in my purse all the time. I need you to forgive me for the promises you asked in the letter I could not keep…the promise of being a daughter to your mom and dad. I love them, Ran, I love them so much and that is why I had to leave. I gave them back the ring you gave me…I cannot be their daughter and I will have no daughter of my own to give it too…please forgive me, Ran…I beg you on my hands and knees!

"Well he finally came to me last night. I knew he would. I saw the way he looked at me while his wife (I refuse to call them aunt and uncle. From now one I will call them man and woman) would be drunk or high on the pills (which I have been looking for to use to join you but no luck yet). Hell even when she seems sober, which is not often, he still looks at me like that…desire…in his eyes. I don't know what took him so long but he did finally come to me…." Lilly read this part with disgust and sadness but she could not put it away. It was written in such detail she felt she was there and the one being used....

Amber lay in her bed with her eyes open. She heard the turn of her door knob to her bedroom and then the click of the lock. She locked her door every night, but the person coming into her room had a key to unlock it. She waited and the door opened and the figure soon filled the doorway. The man she new as Uncle Arthur stood there for a moment and whispered her name. Amber could pretend she was asleep but knew it would not do any good and to be honest with herself, she did not care anyway. She knew what he came to do and she did not care. What could he do to her that would cause her pain? Nothing he could do could cause her more pain than she has already felt in the death of those closest to her…in the death of her mommy and daddy, in the death of her Ran, in the death of her brother, and in the death of her dear sweet Samantha.

"Yes?" Amber said in a quite whisper. She knew the man smiled. He came into the room and turned on the small light by her bed so he could see her better. Amber looked up into those dull brown eyes and was thankful that while he was her father's step brother he did not look like him. That she could not have born. She felt her blankets being tossed from her body and the man leered at her. She wore just a tee shirt and panties. She felt his hands pull her panties down and Amber did not struggle. She did not care. She felt her legs being spread and she offered no resistance. The man grinned at her.

"Damn, you look just like your mother. She was beautiful too. I almost fucked her…did you know that?" He taunted and Amber winced at the mention of her wonderful mom. "Yeah…she screamed and begged me not too…just like you will beg. I like it when they beg. But your dad came in before I could fuck her. She wanted it…I know she did…but that asshole brother of mine stopped me. He almost killed me before your mom pulled him off me. Funny…here you are and I finally get to fuck her…almost…and get payback for him beating me." Amber grunted in pain as the man's finger slide into her. She was dry and he frowned.

"Not wet for your uncle huh? Well I came prepared." The man skirted some lubricant on her private area and his finger and entered her again, this time with two fingers. Amber grunted a little but did not cry out or plead or beg. She just did not care. The man frowned at her and slapped her face. "Oh, you'll beg me you little, cunt! Before I am done you will beg me and scream and after I am done training you, eventually you will beg me to visit you at night." Amber did cry out in pain even if she did not want to when the man inserted his other two remaining finger inside her. But she did not beg him to stop. After the initial pain she just lay there staring at those dull brown eyes. She cried louder when she felt the man trying to insert what felt like his entire hand inside her and he laughed at her pain and commented cruelly he would have to stretch her tight hole out to fit his hand in her. He then stepped back and undressed and Amber saw he was already sexually excited. He moved his pelvis area and his erection to her face and Amber stopped him.

"Wait…no yet." She sat up and took off her shirt. She folded the tee shit neatly and laid it down gently on the floor. The tiger mascot of the East Seattle High School showed perfectly in the fold with the word volleyball under the tiger. It was her friend Ran's practice tee shirt and Amber was not going to allow it to be sullied with what she was going to be forced to do. It meant to much to her for that to happen. Amber reached out with her hand and took the erection in her small fist and stroked it. The man groaned in pleasure and grabbed her small perky breasts hard and pinched her pink nipples tight between his fingers which made her cry out again in pain. Amber was only feeling physical pain since she was dead emotionally. She felt her head being grabbed from behind and pushed to his erection. Amber opened her mouth and allowed the man to enter her small lips.

The man used her that night. He used her mouth until she felt the sticky warm liquid burst into her and slid down her throat. She was forced to swallow it. Then he became hard again after a few moments of pinching and prodding her painfully and he entered her between her legs and still she did not cry out or beg or feel anything. He commented again on how tight she was and pushed harder. She felt some physical pain, but nothing else. She grunted when he entered her harder and harder and she knew he was close to the physical release and suddenly he stopped and turned her over and entered her butt. Amber cried out in the pain as he pushed into her in one thrust and then gripped the sheets and grunted as he used her from behind. He soon climaxed in a series of loud grunts and she felt his hot sticky seaman enter her and felt it squirt deep in her bowels. He pulled out and Amber lay face down on the bed feeling dead on the inside. A feeling she was accustomed to now. The man got dressed and told her to role over. She did. He then went to her closet and picked out some of her clothes, telling her he was going to approve what she wore everyday.

"You look so sexy in your whore clothes and you will wear what I tell you. If you don't…I'll make things worse on you. And make sure you put your makeup on like you do…I like that slut look on you!"

Amber looked at him, "Ok." Was all she said and had to tell the man that the skirt her laid out did not match the blouse but she would make sure that she found one that did he would approve of. He grinned.

"Yeah, you are going to be a good whore. I am also going to get you some birth control pills you will start taking. I like to cum inside you and I don't like condoms and I can't have my slut getting pregnant."

"Ok." Amber replied as she stared at him.

"And I will come see you every night and even when you are on the rag I will fuck your ass or mouth."

"Ok."

The man stared at her for a moment and left the room. Amber got up and took a shower in the bathroom attached to her bedroom and went back to bed. She picked up the tee shirt, held it tight to her chest, and asked Ran to forgive her for what she just did and closed her eyes hoping to sleep. Amber did cry then. She had not cried since Samantha died and thought she had forgotten how, but tears came to her as she gripped the tee shirt tighter. She did not cry for what happened to her...what the man did to her. She did not cry from the pain or humiliation but cried because she wished it was her friend Ran she was holding and not just her shirt. She cried because she wanted Ran to be there holding her, stoking her hair, whispering in her ear it was going to be ok, and making the emotional pain go away liked she used to.

"Ran, I guess I am his whore now. Well for a little while. I am going to look for the pills the woman takes while her and the man are out one day. They should help me do what I need to do. I promise I will be with you soon...my love always…your Ams."

Lilly closed the book and felt the tears running down her face. She wanted to stop reading what the man did to this girl, but she couldn't. She could not pull away regardless of how terrible it was. She put the book on her night stand and picked up a tissue. She wiped her eyes and blew her nose. _I know this is personal…but…I did not know it was this bad…I…poor girl needs help._ Lilly thought as she rolled to her side and was determined more than ever to be this girl's friend and to help her if she could.

Lilly woke the next morning and sat up in bed and opened the journal again. She needed to read it, she needed to understand, and she became obsessed with the writing and the girl herself. She read the next "letters" and they described how the man and woman (as Amber called them) sold her car when it arrived. Lilly could almost feel her pain over the loss of the car. It was not that Amber was sad because she no longer had a car, but that the car belonged to her brother and he spent years restoring the old car to perfect condition and gave it to Amber in his will. Amber felt pain because she lost something that was given to her by someone she loved dearly. Lilly read the next part and something caught her eye. The man and woman's daughter came home and Amber wrote how she ignored the girl in fear of growing to found of her and then of her starting school and Lilly saw one thing that caught her attention and she read it over and over. "…this school is not so bad really. The man makes me go in fear of social services checking up on him. He is afraid I will tell people, but I don't and won't. Why should I? I don't care what he does to me. Some boys have asked me out and of course I tell them no…funny if they knew I was a whore I wonder if they would be so interested in me…or maybe they can see it in me and that is why they ask me out. One boy in particular is very persistent. I think he can sense I am a whore since he can be very crude. His name is Jake something or another. He is attractive and from what a gather a big shot who did some movies or something. I have been told by others to leave him alone since he is dating a girl named Millie or…Miley that is it…like I would want to date him...or anyone for that matter! The few girls who do even talk to me only do to warn me off their boyfriends…which I promise I do not talk to…I just want to be left alone!" Lilly was a little shocked. She new Jake was a manwhore but Miley would never see it. Lilly then read more and again Jake's name came up. "…that boy Jake asked me out again. He said his girl friend was gone for a few more weeks and wanted me to…well I will not be as crude as him but he said he wanted me to have sex with him. I declined for the millionth time and he seemed pissed this time…" Lilly was getting mad a Jake. First for trying to fuck around Miley's back and then for going after this poor emotionally hurt girl. She read more looking for Jakes name.

"Oh, Ran, I thought I could not be hurt emotionally anymore, but they do. The physical pain I am getting used to, but they think of new cruel ways to hurt me emotionally. The man visits me every night and uses me and humiliates me…God I hate them! Ironic I use the word God and swear by that word…and it is just a word to me…I know he does not exist. Do you remember when we were little and we would go to church…either with your mom and dad or with my mom and dad? Remember how I would make you change clothes over and over again so you would be dressed in what I would call "appropriately for church" and you would fuss at me for making you dress up so much. God I remember how beautiful you looked…anyway…at church we were told one time that you cannot believe in God and not believe in the devil or you cannot believe in the devil and not believe in God. They both exist and one cannot exist without the other…that was a lie! God does not exist! How could he? How could someone we were taught who was kind and loving cause me to lose all that I loved and not take me as well. Why didn't he kill me too, Ran? I wished he would have! I begged him to when I thought he existed. Remember how I begged him to kill me so you could live? Remember how mad you got at me for that. But I would have, Ran! I would have gone to that sacrificial alter willingly and let the priest slit my throat if it would have saved you! I dream that at times, I dream I am lying on a cold altar dressed in white as a priest dressed in black touches a cold steel blade to my throat. I look up and him and smile to let him know I go willingly. I look over his should and see the White Lady. She is so lovely and also dressed in white. Her long white hair is blowing in the wind and she looks so beautiful and sexy. She smiles at me calls to me to join her. I smile back and when the priest brings the knife across my neck I wake up. I don't to wake. I want it to end!

Anyway…God does not exist but the devil does. The devil drove the car that killed my mom and dad, the devil was the horrible disease that murdered you, the devil was the people who shot my brother twelve times and killed him, the devil was the boys who robbed that store and killed my dear sweet Samantha, and the devil is the man who comes to my room every night! Yes the devil exists but God does not….hold on, Ran, some girl is trying to talk to me at lunch…I just met the strangest girl. At first I thought she was the bully girl going to beat up the new girl, but she seemed nice and she wanted to be my friend…she said at least. Her name is Lilly…yeah we know I will remember that one. I was going to blow her off more than I did until she told me her name…same as my mom…weird huh? Anyway she reminded me of you and Samantha…she was dressed like Samantha always did very casual and well…boyish…and had blonde hair like her and she was very pretty like both you and Samantha. She reminded me of you because she was persistent in trying to get information out of me…anyway I got rid of her. She did have the cutest whiney voice I liked for some reason…not that she was whiney at all…just the pitch of her voice. I can't have any friends…I don't deserve any! Well lunch is over so I will talk soon…loving you always!"

Lilly smiled, _she thinks I am pretty and nice…awww how sweet! But I do not dress boyish and I do not have a whiney voice!_ Lilly giggled to herself. She read some more. "…and I made a big mistake, Ran, I talked to the daughter this evening. She came into my room…I forgot to lock the door…her name is Natalie and she is so adorable. She is very pretty with yellow blond hair like gold. She talked for a while and I could not help but like her…I don't want to, but I could not help it. She told me I was her older sister now and she would love me! Oh, Ran…I can't love her…I don't want to! Oh Ran…don't allow me to love her, please baby! After she left I wondered if the man would ever come to her room when she got older. Well I have to go now; the man is coming soon and he brought me an outfit to wear for him tonight…I won't describe it because it is to humiliating and I don't want you to see me or know me in it. I love you very much and please do not think poorly of me…your Ams."

Lilly read more and then got to the last few pages. "…I saw the White Lady again and like the last time it was not a dream. As the man drove me to school this morning I saw her standing on the side of the rode smiling at me. She was lovely and in like the dreams she did not call to me or motion for me to join her, she just stood there smiling at me. I wonder who she is and what she wants. I do not dream of her anymore but I see her when I am awake.

"I have found myself hoping for the girl Lilly at school to talk to me again even if I don't really want. I saw her in the hall way and watched her for a while. She seems very popular and nice…and…very very pretty! I had to hide quickly before she saw me. Why do I look for her? I don't want a friend! I swear I don't! Oh I found the pills the woman takes and looked them up on the internet. They are strong pain killers and I figured five or six would be enough. I took ten to make sure and did not consider she would count them. Well she does. She found out I took them and hid them under my mattress. She was not happy. I was ironing the man's shirt for work the next morning and she yelled at me and then slapped me and called me a "junkie"…funny huh? The pill popping whore called me a junkie. She then made me hold my hand on the board and placed the iron on my palm. It hurt badly, Ran, so bad. I tried not to cry but I could not help it. The little girl Natalie heard and told me later I should not make the woman mad because she does things like that. I asked her if the woman did things to her like that and she just got afraid and told me never to spill my milk. I knew what she meant…oh Ran…I have fallen in love with the little girl! God help me I have! She is just so small and precious! I…I have to protect her, Ran! Like you used to protect me! I don't think the man uses her like he does me…she is too young…but she will get older one day and he will. And the woman hurts her…I know she does. I…I have decided I know what to do. I will tell you later when I work out the plan…but the girl will be protected and I then can be with you and the White Lady. I just need more time…please give me more time!" Lilly read and felt more tears in her eyes. She read more and it got to the last entry that was dated yesterday.

"…and Jake must have followed me in the bathroom before lunch because when I got done peeing he was standing by the sink. Funny I was not afraid and knew what he wanted…of course I knew what he wanted he made it very clear the previous days…" Lilly felt anger burn inside her and she imagined her in the bathroom…

Amber adjusted her skirt as she opened the stall door and saw the boy Jake smiling at her. She first thought he was very attractive with that charming smile and then she gave him a questioning look. Amber was not afraid. There was nothing he could do to her to make her afraid. She new what he wanted and Amber knew he would get it as well. She was to weak to fight back and no longer had strength anyway and she no longer cared. She wished he would kill her when he was done, but she knew he was too much of a coward to do that.

"Hey, sexy…I figured since you did not want to go out with me we could at least meet in here and you could give me what I want." The boy said and walked to her. Amber just stood there with her hands by her side and looked down. She felt the boy close to her and then his hands unbuttoning her red blouse. Amber grunted as she felt his hands pull her bra over her breasts and start to play with her nipples. Amber grunted in pain as he twisted them but she still just stood there with her arms at her sides waiting for him to finish and hoped he would be fast so she would have time to eat something. The man and woman did not allow her dinner last night or breakfast this morning.

"Nice tits…small but nice and firm…love you nipples too." The boy then brought his mouth to her left breast and sucked and bit her nipple hard. Amber bit her lower lip to stop herself from crying out. "I'm on my period." Amber squeaked out and it was true. She did not care enough to lie to him

"That's ok…you can give me a blow job then." Jake then spun her around and pushed her into the stall and made her sit on the toilet. He unzipped his pants and pulled out his erect penis. Amber thought it was very small compared to the few she has seen.

"Suck it, whore…my girlfriend does not give it up and even when she is in town she rarely gives it to me and never suck me off. Suck it good, whore." The boy grabbed her head and Amber opened her mouth and allowed the boy's penis to enter her parted lips. He was quick and after only a few minutes Amber felt his warm sticky goo squirt in her mouth and he pulled out and zipped his pants back up. Amber stood and spit his cum in the toilet. He laughed at her and made a crude comment about her not swallowing him.

"Yeah, I knew you were a whore…next time I am going to fuck you. Monday meet me in the gym during lunch. I know a place we can go. Will be off the rag then?" Amber nodded.

"Good…I am going to fuck you good. Just be there!"

"Ok." Amber said simply as she adjusted her bra and buttoned her blouse. The boy looked over her one more time and grinned, "Damn you are a hot little slut. I may bring a friend or two along." His grin got wider, "Yeah you would like that wouldn't you, you little whore?"

Amber buttoned her last button and looked at her feet, "Ok." She simply said in her dead voice. A voice that used to be so musical and cheerful was now nothing but a dead tone.

He walked from the bathroom and Amber washed her mouth out with warm water in the sink.

"…Oh, Ran, I have become such a whore…but I don't care anymore! I don't care how these men use me…I just hope you don't think poorly of me and forgive me…I could not stand it if you didn't forgive me. But it will end soon…very soon. I know my plan now. I am going to make sure the man and woman never hurt me again and they will never harm poor Natalie again either. Maybe your mom and dad will take Natalie in after we are gone. They would love the adorable little girl. I know they would and she would love them…how could she not? They are wonderful people and have so much love to give. I just need to make sure they know to look after her. I…I need to contact them to make sure they know about her. I just have to come up with a way to do it! The man has a gun; I saw it when I was looking for the pills. I just don't know enough about guns to use it. Maybe I could find someone to show me how to use one. Well gym is over with now and I will write you later tonight after the man leaves my room. Tomorrow is Saturday and I have a job to start in the morning. I have to be there at ten and work until seven. A place on the beach…yeah me and the beach can you believe it? Don't worry, I have plenty of sunscreen. A place called Rico's Surf Shack. It is owned by an odd little teenager from our school…or his parents…and I will be working there with a boy named Jackson something or another. He seemed strange but in a good way and almost made me smile once…he can be goofy I think. I am looking forward to working there so I can leave the house that reeks of evil. Love you…Ams."

Lilly read the last entry and slammed the notebook on her bed. _That fucking pig! I could kill him! That fucking asshole! He is cheating on Miley and he raped this poor girl! I am going to cut his fucking nuts off!_ Lilly thought with tears in her eyes and looked at her clock. It read ten thirty five. She had plenty of time to eat and go to the beach. She was going to talk to Amber today and give her back her journal…somehow explain she had it. Lilly was also concerned about the mention of the gun in the writing. She needed to tell someone but she also felt she betrayed the girl by reading her journal. She did not know what to do.

Lilly put on her bikini bottoms and top and then put a tee shirt and tan cargo shorts on over them. She brushed her hair and pulled it in a ponytail and walked downstairs to get something to eat. He mom was in the kitchen and smiled at her.

"'Mornin, sleepy head…hungry?"

Lilly nodded and sat at the table while her mom cooked her some bacon and eggs. "Hey mom…lets say you knew a girl…this is pretend ok…and this girl was well…she was having a rough time…real rough. She was being abused physically and sexually at home, she has not friends. She had a lot of people she was close to die…like her parents, her best friend, her bother, and someone she was in a relationship with. Well…she was…well she told you what was going on or you found out and then found out she was thinking of doing something bad…real bad…like kill herself and someone else. What would you do?"

Lilly's mom turned around with a look of concern on her face, "Lilly…is there something you need to tell me?"

Lilly sighed, "No mom…God…it is just a story I am reading…and this girl's friend is at a dilemma of what to do and I was just curious what you would do. I…well I think I would try and help her. Even if she was not really a friend just someone I knew…what would you do?"

Her mother turned back around and started her cooking again, "Well first I am surprised you are reading…glad but surprised...but umm…I would tell someone who could help. Like the police or some other professional. That would be a lot for one person to deal with and if not properly trained you could make matters worse. Yeah I would go to the police."

Lilly sighed, _yeah you would_. _No they can't help…they would need proof and they would lock poor Amber up in a nut house_ _and while she needs help that is not what she needs…she needs a friend…she needs me and I am going to talk to her and make her see she needs me! God…why am I so fascinated…no obsessed with her! How can I help! Hell I am just a confused teenager too! I don't know if I am gay or straight or bi! What can I do? I'm only seventeen! But she is screaming out for help and a friend…I can read it in her writings and well…she did hope she saw me again and even spied on me a little…maybe she is crying out for me to help! And If I see Jake I am going to cut his fucking nuts off! _ Lilly ate quickly, grabbed her beach bag and the journal, and drove to the beach. On the drive there she called Oliver and told him to meet her at Rico's.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N – The title of the story "Amber's got a Gun is a play Areosmith's Jamie's got a Gun**

Amber was watching as Jackson showed her how to place the hot dogs in the rotisserie cooker and even giggled when the boy burned his hand. She hated that her boss Rico made her wear the stupid tee shirt but at least she could wear any skirt she wanted to wear. She opted to wear a simple pleated black skirt and long black and white striped socks that came above her knees to her thighs. Rico liked it so much he joked that he may have to make it her uniform. Amber blushed at the compliment. After three minutes she found out it was best to take her heels off because they quickly became filled with sand. Amber was glad the snack bar was covered and she did not have to be under the sun all day because she knew her pale skin would burn badly if she had to be in the sun. Amber thought Jackson was goofy in a good way and even got amused by the way he and the boss Rico argued all the time. She could tell they were really friends but both refused to admit it. Amber spent most of her time taking orders while Jackson prepared them.

Amber was pulling some hotdogs out of the cooker when she heard a familiar voice. She froze for a moment. She did not want the strange girl seeing her. "Hey, Jackson…give me a couple of cokes and Miley told me to tell you to kiss her ass and you had better not be going in her room while she is gone and wearing her panties." Lilly teased Jackson while she sat on one of the stools.

"You are one sick girl, Lilly…no wonder Miley stopped fucking you. And you tell my sister she had better hurry and get her ass back. Dad is driving me crazy! And tell her to call him every now and then…he's worried." Jackson said as he fixed the drinks.

Amber heard Lilly laugh and assumed the back and forth ribbing was one of friendship. Amber wandered if this Miley girl was the same one who was dating the boy Jake and she caught on to something else. Yesterday that girl Ashley called her the pretty blonde girl a dyke and Amber just thought she was being mean, but Jackson's comment about the girl and his sister made Amber realize she was gay or at least bi. For some reason it made Amber more nervous and she dropped one of the hotdogs as she flinched when she heard the whiney and what she had to admit to herself a very sexy voice being addressed at her.

"Hey, new girl, how's it goin…when did you start here?" Lilly called to her over the counter. Lilly saw Amber flinch a little and drop another hotdog.

_Please make her go away. Please make her go away. Please make her go away_, Amber muttered to herself when Jackson came to her rescue.

"Hey, Amber…umm…we need some cups. Could you go in the back and get some for me…I appreciate it." The boy said kindly and Amber nodded and walked to the back storage area. Jackson turned back to Lilly. "What the hell, Lilly. Don't be mean to her. She's nice…a little shy but nice."

Lilly sighed, "I wasn't being mean…I swear. I met her at school this week and just wanted to say hello. Is she always this jumpy? I thought she was going to pass out or something."

Jackson smiled, "Actually she is or was doing great until you showed up. She catches on real quick and is nice to the customers…the boys love her and flirt with her…which Rico loves it since it brings them back to spend money. And she is…well she doesn't flirt back but she is very polite to them and does not get offended. She seems real smart…to damn smart to be working here. And…cute…well more than cute, she is very pretty. She is very shy and quite and does not like talking about herself…hell I tried. The only other time she got a little jumpy was when Jake showed up earlier and talked to her. I don't think she likes him…a big plus to me. I wish you would have talked Miley out of dating him again."

Lilly shrugged, "I tried, Jackson, I tried real hard…but she says she loves him. Hey, when is her break…the new girl…and how long does she get?"

Jackson shrugged, "Whenever she wants it. Rico's not here and won't be back until later today…not that he would mind…I think he is crushing on her…she can go anytime and take as long as she needs. Why?"

Lilly smiled, "She needs one now that's why." Lilly batted her long lashes and Jackson laughed, "Please, Jackson."

Jackson nodded; he would have let the girl go anytime but something in the way Lilly looked at him and her saying please made the boy realize Lilly was asking him for a favor. Something she rarely does to anyone. He was always very fond of his sister's best friend and up until the previous summer, Lilly had been a little shy around boys, but she changed. She was now an infamous flirt and knew how to use her recently developed body to her advantage. Jackson liked the new more independent confident Lilly.

Amber walked back to the front of the snack shack carrying a package of cups. She avoided the pretty blonde's stare and started placing the cups in the cup holder.

"Amber, its break time for you; I'll get those."

Amber nodded, "Ok…how…how long do I get? Fifteen minutes?"

Jackson laughed, "Take as long as you need. Rico's gone and good boy Jackson is in control. Seriously…take as much time as you need. Walk the beach a little. You should get to know the area."

Amber smiled at him, "Ok…I won't take long…maybe I'll just get a Sprite and sit down for a while."

"I don't think so." Lilly said in a nice but commanding tone. "You are coming with me. I can show you the beach." Lilly stood up and took a few steps away from the counter and Amber noticed that all she was wearing was a tee shirt with the word Life Guard written in red across the front and her bikini bottoms. The shirt was cut short to show the blonde's stomach and Amber stared at her butt. She thought it was a beautiful butt and shook the thought from her head. _No…do not think that! You are not allowed to think those things anymore! You don't want those thoughts anymore_! _You don't deserve them!_ Amber thought to herself and the blonde turned her head and Amber thought the way the girl's ponytail swished was very sexy, "Well come on, new girl."

Amber shrugged and followed her. After they walked a little Amber found the courage to talk. "Where are we going…I…well the sun and I don't agree much and I would hate to get a sunburn."

Lilly giggled, "Not far…I have my stuff set up under an umbrella…come on…you may even like it…and me."

Amber shrugged and continued to follow until they reached a spot on the beach which was somewhat secluded. Amber saw the girl had set up her beach gear of her umbrella, beach bag, beach lounge chair, and a surf board sticking out of the sand. Lilly sat down on the lounge chair and boldly patted the area next to her signaling Amber to sit down. The Goth girl did. As soon as they sat down Lilly smiled at her and then her eyes grew wide as she stared at Amber. The small brunette pulled off her tee shirt and then unhooked her bra and let it fall to the sand. Lilly could not help but stare the small slightly upturned breasts and the perfectly shaped pink nipples. She thought they were perfect and sexy. Lilly quickly looked down when she realized she was staring and blushed.

"Ummm…Amber…what the hell are you doing?" She whispered sharply.

Amber shrugged, "It's what you wanted, right? I thought I would just make it easier for you. I…I …well I will let you kiss me, let you touch me, and I can go down on you, but you can't do me since I am still on my period." Amber moved closer and Lilly jumped to her feet. She felt flushed and desire for the very pretty Goth girl, but not like this…never like this.

"Damn, Amber…put you fucking shirt on! I…I…damn, girl! I did not want this…I just wanted to fucking talk to you! God…what is wrong with…" Lilly stopped herself from finishing her sentence. She knew what was wrong with the girl and she felt pity and sadness for the very pretty brunette…with a small amount of desire added.

"I…I…shit…I'm sorry…I just thought…I had better get back to work." Amber stammered and quickly put on her bra and tee shirt and was about to stand when Lilly gently pushed her back down and sat next to her.

"Amber…I'm sorry…I…I just wanted to talk. I…well…I want to be your friend. Don't ask me why 'cause I don't know why. Just…well…something about you makes me want to be your friend…and only your friend. Plus…I have something to give you…I…well…fuck…ok…here it is." Lilly pulled out a black and white notebook with a black silk ribbon tied around it in a bow. She handed it to Amber, who stared at it with a look of shock on her face.

"I…I found it yesterday in the hallway. We must have missed it when we picked up your books. I…I tried to find you but you left quickly." Lilly said in an apologetic tone. Amber noticed her voice became more high pitched and whiney. She liked the voice a great deal but right now she hated the girl.

"I…I guess you read it!" Amber said sharply.

Lilly looked at her own feet, "Well…umm…yeah I did…I…I'm sorry…I know it was…"

"It was personal, that is what it is! How dare you! How dare you read it! I…I…just leave me alone! You said you wanted to be my friend…friends don't do things like this! I…how fucking dare you!" Amber yelled as she stood up and glared at Lilly. Her green eyes sparkled with anger.

"I know, Amber, I know it was wrong…but…well…I was curious about you and when I started reading it I could not stop…Amber…oh God I am so sorry! I am so sorry for reading it and…and so sorry for what has happened to you and I…I…well if you need to talk abo…"

"What has happened to me? What the fuck do you know! I…I…you…it is just a story! That is all…it is not real! I was just writing a story nothing more! I like to write…and…nothing in there is true! My mom and dad are alive and…and living in…in…they are out of the country in Europe so I am staying with the man…I mean my uncle and aunt! My brother is…he is…it is none of your business where he is or…or…and my best friend Ran is alive and…I am going to see her over the holidays! And I have a wonderful girlfriend named Samantha and…and...my life is none of your business and…and it is just a story I made up! You had no fucking right!" Amber clutched the journal to her chest and walked away quickly.

Lilly knew the girl was lying and called out to her. "Well if you ever need to talk, I will be here…_Ams_."

Amber suddenly stopped, turned, and quickly walked back to Lilly with fierce anger blazing in her brilliant green eyes and she dropped the journal on the chair. Lilly took a step back as the girl got to her face. She thought Amber may actually hit her. It was not fear that made Lilly step back but shock at the anger in the girl's normally dead eyes. She knew she could beat the girl in a fight, but she was not going to fight her even if the girl hit her. Lilly would have deserved to be hit…several times…for reading the journal. Amber walked up and got close to the pretty girl's face.

"What did you call me? You…you have no right to…don't ever call me that again! Never! You don't deserve to call me that! Never again, do you hear me! Never again! No one deserves to call me that anymore!" Amber then completely shocked the blonde girl when the other girl leaned in and kissed her on her lips. They kiss quickly turned into a passionate one and Lilly felt Amber's tongue enter her welcoming mouth. The blonde felt Amber's tongue tangle with hers and then dance inside her mouth. Lilly's arms wrapped around Amber's petite frame and she pulled the girl close and she felt Amber's hands grab her butt and pull her closer as well. Both girls moaned in pleasure and suddenly Amber broke the kiss and traced her tongue on Lilly's lips and then pulled away but Lilly still held her close and pressed against her. Amber let out a slight whimper of pleasure and looked up into Lilly's eyes. Lilly noticed those green eyes sparked with life she had not seen and thought they were the most gorgeous eyes she ever saw. They also held a small amount of sadness. Amber wiggled a little and Lilly let her go. The small brunette muttered, "I can't…I don't deserve it anymore." She then took a step back.

"Never talk to me again! I…just never speak to me again! And…and…never kiss me again! I…you should not have kissed me!" Amber yelled and stalked away. Lilly watched her walk away and her eyes followed her until the girl left her vision. Wow_…I mean…wow! Her kiss…damn she knows how to kiss! Wow! I…not since Miley have I been kissed like that…and not even she was that good_. Lilly thought about the kiss and the girl's naked breasts and she felt herself get even wetter between her legs. Her thoughts were interrupted by Oliver.

"Damn…I told you that girl was a freak! I saw the last scene of your little encounter…and I told you, Lilly, she is a freak. I heard she even tried to seduce Jake yesterday and even told him she would do not only him but as many friends he brought along." Oliver said smugly and got a hard slap across the face. He looked at Lilly stunned as he held his red cheek.

"What the fuck, Lilly! Why did you do that…don't tell me you actually like the little whore?" Oliver flinched as Lilly raised her hand again and then lowered it.

"Oliver…if you ever call her that again, I swear I will put your balls in a vice and crush them slowly…I then I will never speak to you again. Now sit your ass down! I have something to tell you that had better change your attitude to that girl. But you have to swear you will not tell anyone…even Miley!"

Oliver nodded and sat down. He knew it was important if Lilly did not want him to tell Miley. Lilly and Oliver had been best friends since preschool and then Miley came into their lives and joined their group of two. At times Oliver felt jealous of Lilly and Miley and he was always happy when his blonde friend told him something that she kept from Miley.

Lilly told the boy what she read in the journal and she even choked back a few tears as she talked. Oliver listened in rap attention and felt pity in his heart for Amber. When Lilly was done Oliver noticed she had grabbed his hand while she talked and then she put her head on her shoulders.

"Wow…that is fucked up, Lilly…really fucked up…but…well…she told you it was not true and maybe it's not. Maybe it is just a story of a girl with a really warped mind."

Lilly sighed, "No…it's true, Oliver…I know it is and so do you. No one could make up shit that bad. Not even Stephen King…it's true and we have to help her. You and me…and maybe Miley…but she is not going to believe anything bad about Jake. What do we do, honey, what do we do?"

Oliver smiled, he missed Lilly being his girlfriend, and not just for the sex…which was incredible…but because under that tough exterior she was very caring and sensitive. But he knew as she did they would never work out in a romantic relationship. They were just not built that way. He also missed when she called him honey. He gripped her tighter.

"I don't know, Lil, I don't know…what do you want to do? I mean…you don't even know her that well…and…well she does not want your help anyway. And you are right, Miley is not going to believe anything bad about Jake, so let's leave her out of it…for now. I'm in for what ever you decide."

Lilly kissed the boys cheek, "Thanks, baby…thank you very much. The first thing we do is keep Jake away from her. That should be easy…and then we will decide on the rest as we go along. Deal?"

Oliver smiled, "Deal…you like her don't you? I can tell."

Lilly blushed, "Umm…well…yeah I do…I mean…I don't know why…but yeah I like her more than I should. But I am going to help her and not put my hormones first…for a change. I am going to be her friend."

Oliver laughed, "Wow…you must care. You never put your heart before your hormones…or horniness. Miley and I can attest to that."

Lilly slapped his should playfully and laughed. When she stopped laughing she looked at Oliver and smiled with lust in her eyes, "Speaking of hormones…want to go to our spot and fool around…I'm horny and have not had sex in over a month."

Oliver grinned, "Like I am going to turn that down." Lilly smiled as she stood up and Oliver followed her lead. Lilly grabbed a large beach towel from her bag and walked away giving her butt a sexy shake. When they got to their secluded area and after they kissed Oliver stared as Lilly removed her tee shirt and bikini top. He stared at her wonderful breasts and sexy tan lines and could not wait to get his hands on her.

"Umm…Lilly…before we…well…what are we, Lilly…what are we doing?"

Lilly removed her bikini bottoms and giggled as Oliver's eyes stared at her well timed pubis area. "Oliver…we are best friends who fuck on occasion. You know you mean the world to me…but not in that way. It's just sex…I'm sorry I can't be more. We tried that and it did not work…if…if you want more I…I can't give you that."

Oliver laughed and pulled the girl close to him and kissed her. "Lillian, I did not say I wanted more…I just wanted to know. It will have to end you know. One day one of us is going to date again and well…it will end."

Lilly looked at him and grinned, "Yeah…but we can have a hell of a time while it lasts." She dropped to her knees and pulled down his swim shorts and his erection popped out. She looked up at him, "Oh yeah…we can have a blast while we can." Oliver moaned as the girl took him in her mouth.


	4. Chapter 4

As Amber walked back to her job her heart raced. It raced because she was angry and felt betrayed the blonde girl read her journal. It raced because of fear of what the very pretty blonde girl now knew about her. Amber knew the girl Lilly did not believe her when she told her the story was not true. Amber was afraid Lilly would expose her and her dark secrets and ruin everything. The last reason her heart raced was because of the kiss. Amber did not know what made her kiss the blonde but she did and it was wonderful…at first. But Amber knew she could not have what her body craved when she kissed Lilly. She did not deserve any sort of happiness or desire. But she felt alive for the first time in almost a year. The blonde girl stirred emotions in her she long ago buried deep inside her soul. Amber knew she had to stay away from Lilly or she would risk experiencing the pain she became numb to over the past several months. A smile escaped her lips as she walked back to the snack shack as she thought of the kiss. Amber giggled and then quickly recovered. _No! No! No! You do not deserve it! Leave it buried!_ She thought and focused on the thoughts she did deserve. The thoughts of the death of the ones she loved, the thoughts of living in the house, and the thoughts of the man who came to visit her at night. Those thoughts brought back her numbness and killed her heart once more and she smiled again, but this time she smiled in hate and loathing for herself.

Her work day was almost over and Amber actually enjoyed her day. She enjoyed it because it got her out of the house and gave her an escape. She smiled as she thought of her two co-workers and their bickering and she smiled when she thought how sweet both Jackson and Rico were to her and the kindness they showed her. Both of the boys treated her with kindness and respect and she was grateful. Amber even smiled at the thought of the boys who flirted with her. A year ago she would have flirted back and flirted back shamelessly but ladylike that she was famous for. Amber was known to be a notorious flirt but that was different life and in her new life she just smiled and acted polite. Amber even smiled when she thought of Lilly. She was angry the girl read her private thoughts but every time she tried to hate the girl she thought of that glorious kiss and her anger left her. Amber tried not to smile, but she could not help it until she looked up at the street and saw the black BMW with dark tented windows. Her smile ended as she walked to the car that was owned by the man. He came to pick her up as he said he would. He would not let Amber go anywhere but school and work and that house and drove her everywhere. He even took her cell phone away from her. Amber opened the door to the passenger side and got in. The man grinned at her and started the car. He did not ask how her day was or what she did or anything. He did not care. All he cared about was his perversions and controlling her. Amber knew what he cared about with her and it became more obvious when the man said not one word, but unzipped his pants and pulled his erection out of the zipper and gave Amber a stare of lust. Amber knew what was expected of her and lowered her head and took him in her mouth. The man then placed the car in gear and drove them to the house. _Yes_ Amber thought as she worked her mouth on his erect penis and heard the man moan as he drove, _I did not deserve to be happy. All I deserve is this! To be a whore! I was stupid to think anything else. If I am lucky he will get in an accident and I will die…but I am not lucky that way._

Later that night Amber cooked the man, woman, and Natalie dinner and they all sat at the table eating. Amber thought how ironic it was the man and woman insisted on always eating as a family. Amber was stirring her mashed potatoes with her fork when the woman spoke to her. Amber looked at her and thought at one time the woman must have been beautiful. She had a well defined pretty face with high cheek bones, a figure that was too thin due to her popping pills and drinking more than eating, but Amber saw the older photographs throughout the house and at one time her figure was slim and fuller in the right places. She had the same blonde golden hair of she passed to her daughter. Yes, Amber thought she must have been a beautiful lady at one time, but now all she saw in her was the evil.

"Amber, dear, after you clean the table and wash the dishes I want you to give Natalie her bath. I am not feeling well and need to take my medication." The woman smiled cruelly at the Goth girl as she twirled her wine glass around and then drank the last few sips in one gulp.

_Yeah you are always not feeling well and always need your medication that consists of wine, vodka, and pills!_ Amber thought but said "Yes, ma'm," out loud. The man looked at her and winked. Amber felt a cold shiver down her spine at that wink which held no affection, just perverse lust. After the dinner Natalie went to watch television, the preferred baby sitter her parents had for the eight year old girl, and Amber cleaned the table and the kitchen. When she was done she walked into the living room and saw Natalie watching the twenty four hour cartoon channel, the man reading a newspaper, and the woman sitting in her chair with a spacey look in her eyes as she drank her vodka.

"Ready for your bath, Natalie?" Amber asked the girl. Natalie clapped her hands in glee and stood up and grabbed Amber's hand. Amber felt a sudden rush of love for the girl and no matter how hard she tried she could not bury the emotion. She wanted to desperately but she could not.

"Ammer?" The girl asked. She never could pronounce the "B" in Amber's name.

"Yes, sweetie?"

"Can I sleep with you tonight…in your bed with you?" Amber looked at the man who stared at her over the edge of the paper. She sighed sadly.

"Not tonight, baby, maybe another time…I promise." Amber said sadly. The man smiled an evil grin and went back to the paper.

Amber ran the girl's bathwater in the bathroom attached to her bedroom and listened to the girl chatting on as only an eight year old girl can do. Her voice so sweet and full of innocence that Amber knew deep down the girl no longer had and that broke her heart even more. Amber grew to love this little girl quickly and deeply and she hated herself for loving the girl. She wanted to stay dead on the inside. She wanted her heart to remain cold and unable to love, but this girl woke that love in her again. Over the past months Amber prided herself on being emotionally dead and unable to cry over her emotional pain. She had not cried in months before she came to live with the man and woman and then they made her cry again in the physical pain. She was not ashamed with those tears because they were caused by the physical hurt she suffered, but when she started shedding tears over the emotional pain due to this little girl and what she suffered and may have suffered Amber felt disgrace with herself. She hated the fact her heart woke again with love, but she did not deny it like she could not deny the love for this sweet little girl. Natalie was in the tub and as Amber washed her little body the girl started in on the questions of a curious eight year old.

"Ammer, do you not want me to sleep with you because daddy comes and sleeps in your bed?" Amber dropped the soap and cloth in shock.

"I…I…what do you mean, little peep?" The girl giggled at the nick name she was given by her beautiful, nice but sad new "sister". Unknown to Natalie it was the nickname Amber's mom had for her when she was little. Amber never knew why her mom gave her that nick name and soon she did not care. It was something special she shared with her mother and that was enough.

"I see him sometimes sneaking in your room when mom is asleep. When I get up to get something to drink I see him. It makes you sad he comes to sleep with you doesn't it?"

Amber sighed as she picked the soap. She could lie to the girl but Amber thought the small girl needed to understand how cruel the world really is or she would end up cold and dead inside like she was. She did not want that for the girl she grew to love.

"Yes, little peep, it makes me sad."

"I don't like it making you sad, Ammer. Does it hurt?" The girl asked flatly.

Amber stopped washing the girl and looked at her, "Does what hurt?"

"When he sleeps with you, silly Ammer, he said it would not hurt but I think it would."

Amber took the girl gently by her shoulders and looked at her, "Natalie, has…has he ever slept in your room?"

Natalie starred at Amber's eyes, "You have lovely eyes…I wish mine were green like that. No he never slept in my room. He used to come in and touch me at places I did not want him to and he used to make me touch his winky for a little while. I don't like it…its gross! And he used to tell me when I got older he would teach me how to do other things…I don't think I want him to teach me those things, Ammer, I think it would hurt. But he has not done anything since you got here. I…I haven't told anyone else so please don't tell on me. I…I wanted to tell you because he comes and sleeps with you…we have a secret to share now."

Amber grabbed the girl and hugged her tight and felt tears running down her cheeks, "I…he won't come to you anymore. I promise you, little peep, I promise you that! I will make sure of that! I will make sure he gets what he wants from me so he will not come to you anymore." Amber felt the girl stroke her hair with her small wet fingers and then kiss her cheek.

"Ammer, I love you. I am glad you came to live her, but I am also sad…I am sad that it makes you cry that you live here. I love you, Ammer and never want you to leave, but I think you would be happy if you left."

Amber choked back a sob, "I love you too, little peep, I love you too." Amber let the girl go and wiped her eyes and took a deep breath, "Now let's wash your hair…and, little peep…you do have beautiful eyes. My dad and brother had eyes that blue and I always thought they were the prettiest eyes I ever saw."

Natalie smiled, "Am I as pretty as you, Ammer?"

"Prettier…so much prettier…now lets get your hair washed and then I will brush it and maybe even braid it tonight." Natalie clapped her hands happily and let out a squeal of delight. "Do it like yours! With just the part coming down on the sides of your face; I like your hair like that."

Amber laughed, "Yeah…I had a best friend that thought the same thing. She would always braid my hair like that."

"I never had a best friend. What was her name and what was she like?"

"Her name was Ran," Natalie giggled at the name, "And she was so strong, so tall, so beautiful, so caring, so lovely, and so wonderful. She used to protect me from mean people. God, she was so lovely."

"Can she protect you from mommy and daddy?"

"No…she died, little peep, and I miss her so much. But if she was alive she would protect me…and you too. She would love you as much as she loved me…as much as I love you."

Natalie grinned happily, "Tell me about her, Ammer…tell me about her while you wash my hair."

And Amber did. She told this precious little girl she loved all about Ran. From the first time they met, to how Ran protected her, to the silly things they did while growing up, to the love the two girls shared, and to the sadness she felt when Ran died. Amber told it all. When she was done Natalie had tears in her eyes to match the ones on Amber's.

Natalie sniffled, "She sounded wonderful…I wish I had a best friend like her. The lovely Ran…I like her. I wish she was not dead so I could be her friend too."

"Me too, little peep, me too…I wish I had her back. Do you have any friends at school?"

The girl looked sad for a moment, "No. They tease me too much. They tease me because of my clothes and…and when I don't have money for lunch or new things and because I have to always borrow things like pencils or color crayons or paper and stuff. I wish I had friends…I think friends would be so much fun. And…I wish I had a new dress to wear sometimes. I like dresses. I like the ones you have. I wish I was bigger so I could borrow them sometimes."

Amber felt more sadness for the girl and thought it was a shame her parents did not buy her new clothes or things for school. They did have the money to, but they spent it on themselves and not their child. Amber noticed the girl wore pants and shirts that were either too big or too small and they were ragged looking. She assumed the girl liked that style. Her mom brought them at second hand stores or from Good Will.

"One day I will buy you a new dress; I promise. Now we better get you dried off before your skin gets more wrinkly." Amber lifted the girl from the tub as she giggled about being wrinkled and showed Amber her hands.

After Amber dried her off she stood her in front of the mirror and she started combing her long golden blonde hair.

"Ammer…why do you call me little peep?"

"Oh…just a nickname I heard when I was little…I just thought it fit you…do you not like it?"

The girl giggled, "No…I like it…I just wanted to know. Did you have a nickname?"

Amber chuckled, "Yeah I had a lot of them…a few were even nice but most were ones that I am not going to tell you because you are too young to hear. But yes I had one that was my favorite."

"Ouch…that hurt…I hate tangles." Natalie cried out softly as Amber brushed her hair.

"I'm sorry, honey, but that is the price you pay for being beautiful." Amber said with a smile.

Natalie smiled through the mirror, "Am I really beautiful?" Amber nodded, "Yes…very much so."

"Ammer, will you be my best friend? I would like one. Would you be to me like the lovely Ran was to you? Will you protect me like Ran protected you?"

Amber put the brush down and hugged the girl and the Goth girl started crying again, "Oh, little peep, I will be your best friend and I…I will do my best not to let your daddy hurt you like…like he does me…or your mother…but I cannot protect you like Ran protected me. I am so sorry and I wish I could, but…I am not strong enough to protect you. I am not as strong as Ran was. I…I am sorry, little peep, I am so very sorry I do not have the strength for that."

Natalie again reached out and ran her small hands in Amber's thick black hair. "Don't cry, Ammer, its ok...please don't cry. Just be my best friend. We will find someone else to protect us. That's what we will do. We will find someone else to protect us from mean people."

Amber pushed the girl back gently and smiled at her, "Maybe we can, little peep, maybe we can…but right now it's just me and you, ok. We are all we have and do not trust anyone. I mean that! You have to understand that, Natalie. Do not trust anyone!" Amber held the girl's arms tight.

"Ouch…Ammer, you're squeezing me too hard…it hurts."

Amber quickly let go and hugged the girl again, "I'm sorry, honey, I…just please…don't trust anyone. It's me and you and we are all we have…ok?"

"Ok, Ammer, and I will protect you as best as I can…I am no lovely Ran, but I will try…and I will keep looking for someone who can. Ammer, what was the nickname you liked so much?"

Amber started braiding the girl's hair, "Ran used to call me Ams. She was the only one who did. It was special to me and her. I never let anyone else to call me that…even my mom and dad."

"What were they like, Ammer? Your mom and dad? Were they…did your mommy punish you for being bad like my mommy does? Did your daddy make you…touch you where it hurt?"

Amber smiled sadly at the girl who will never know the true love parents can give their children, "Oh no, little peep, my mommy and daddy and brother were wonderful. I loved them a great deal. I wish you could have met them. They would have taken you away from here to live with them…they would have loved you too."

"Do you have a picture of them? I would like to see them."

Amber smiled, "I do have some. I'll get one." Amber went into her room and pulled out or her closet a box she did her best to keep hidden. It was a box of photos and where she kept her journal. She smiled sadly when she choose the picture she would show Natalie. It was a photo inside a handcrafted Christmas ornament Ran made her when she was thirteen, right after he parents died. The photo was a family Christmas photo of Amber, her parents, and her brother. It was the first time her brother had been home for the holidays in two years. Her mom and dad died a few months later. Amber loved the picture and the tacky ornament that was made by a fourteen year old girl with no arts and craft talent. She then saw another picture; this one of her and Ran taken nine months before Ran died. Both girls were smiling happily with their arms wrapped around each other and in the back ground was a large roller coaster. Amber smiled and remembered the day when her and Ran drove to a theme park and the Asian girl made her get on the roller coaster right after this picture was taken. Amber remembered how sick and scared she got and she wanted to kill her best friend afterwards. Amber giggled when she remembered she did not speak to Ran for at least two hours after the event and Ran constantly teased her and then begged her to talk to her as they walked around the park. _God, I miss you, baby,_ she thought and decided to show Natalie the picture of Ran as well.

Natalie looked at the picture of the girl's parents first. "Wow…your mom is beautiful…you look just like her…and father is very handsome. Is this your brother?" Natalie pointed to the young man in a marine uniform. Amber nodded. "He is very handsome…I bet he had a lot of girlfriends?"

Amber chuckled, "Yeah he did…all my girl friends were so in love with him…even Ran. They would come over to hang out with me just to see him. He…he was a wonderful brother. I have a surprise for you…here is a picture of me and Ran." Amber took the picture of her family and handed her the picture of her and Ran.

Natalie smiled gleefully and stared at the picture. The little girl became fascinated with Amber's best friend after listening to the story of her. "You are right, she is lovely. She is very beautiful…and you are to. I bet you had a lot of boyfriends…both of you." Natalie touched the face of Ran on the picture as if in awe.

Amber chuckled, "Well…a lot?…No not really. I was…well…not the most popular person in school and Ran was more into spots than dating. She had one boy she really liked and who loved her. He was a nice boy. But she held a deep and unreturned love for my brother."

"How come he did not love her? She is so beautiful." Natalie said as she continued to stare at the picture of the Asian girl.

Amber giggled, "Well…he loved her but he loved her as a sister…like he loved me. He never saw her the way other people did. I wish he would have loved her that way because she wanted it so bad…but he couldn't. He was kind to her…very kind to her through. God, I used to tease her about him and she would get so mad at me."

Natalie looked up at Amber, "Ammer…can I…can I have this one? I would like it. Unless you need it to remember her."

Amber smiled, "Sure little peep, I don't need a silly picture to remember her," Amber tapped her head and then her heart with her finger, "All my memories are in here and here."

"Ammer…can I call you Ams…I would like that and since we are best friends now."

Amber smiled at the little girl and nodded, "Yes, little peep, you may call me Ams."

Natalie giggled and hugged Amber. The hug was broken when there was a loud knock on the bathroom door.

"What the fuck are you two doing in there? You have been in there for over an hour!" The voice of them man yelled through the door.

Natalie flinched, "I hate that word." She said and hid the picture of Amber and Ran in towel she had wrapped around her body. Amber tossed the photo of her family in the cabinet under the sink. The Goth girl then pulled Natalie close and whispered in her ear, "Natalie, listen to me…don't let them know you love me…promise me that as best friends do…never let them know you love me. They will only use that love to hurt us more…Promise me, Natalie…and if I ever act like I don't love you in front of them I do not mean it…it is only for your protection…Promise me!" Amber demanded and the girl nodded. "I do love you, little peep, I love you so much! Never forget that!" Amber hugged the girl tight.

"I love you too, Ams, and I promise. And I promise I will find someone to protect us and stop daddy from sleeping in your room."

Amber smiled sadly and wished the world was that simple and kind. She opened the door. The man grinned at her and then looked at his daughter, "Comb your hair out and go to bed, you look like a slut!" He then grabbed Amber by her arm and threw her to the bathroom floor. "How dare you make my daughter look like a whore!" He kicked Amber in the stomach.

"Daddy, No…please no!" Natalie yelled and the man turned to her. Natalie looked around her father and saw Amber getting to her feet and then she saw the older girl shake her head quick and hard. "No. Promise me." Amber mouthed and Natalie nodded and looked at her father. It pained the little girl but she kept her promise to her new sister and best friend that she loved, "I am sorry, daddy. I will go comb my hair and go to bed." She gave her father a quick hug and ran to her room. Her father did not see the tears running down her cheeks.

The man grabbed Amber by her hair and pulled her to her room and locked the door. Her threw her on the bed and then ripped her skirt and panties off her. Amber lay on the bed on her stomach and looked over her shoulder. She saw the man take off his wide leather belt. "You have some nerve, bitch, making my daughter look like a whore like you! What other shit have you been teaching her? Tell me, cunt!" Amber held her pillow tight to her mouth to try and muffle her scream as the belt connected with the back of her upper inner thighs and her buttocks. After the man beat her he used her brutally over and over again. Amber's cries excited him. After he left Amber took her nightly shower and painfully scrubbed then man off of her and from inside her. The water hurt the welts on her buttocks and thighs but she did not care, she deserved the pain for being his whore. She recovered the photo from its hiding place and did not even look at it. She could not look at her parents and brother after what happened to her or what she had just done. Amber pulled her journal from its hiding place and started to write… "Oh, Ran…I love her and I can't help it. I told her all about you and she is now obsessed with you like I am. I wish you could meet her! She is so charming and pretty and sweet…and so innocent…" Amber wrote what had happened to her that day, including when she kissed Lilly…and she asked Ran to forgive her for that kiss and the desire she felt but did not deserve.

Natalie lay in her bed and cried as she listened to the cries of pain from her best friend/sister's room. Amber could not muffle them all. Natalie got off her bed and got to her knees and folded her hands under her chin. "God, please, God, please send us a lovely Ran to protect us…to protect her. I love her don't want her to be hurt anymore." Natalie got back in her bed and cried herself to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

The next day Amber had to be at work at ten in the morning again and she got up, took another shower, and looked in the mirror at her backside. The welts hurt and were very obvious. Amber had to wear a longer skirt today to cover them. She winced a little as she walked into the living room to have the man drive her to work. She was sore and not just from the beating. The man used her hard and brutal the previous night and her insides were sore and tender. Amber saw the woman already in her drug induced stopper laying on the couch and Natalie sitting in front of the television watching her favorite cartoon. Amber noticed the girl had a paper plate in front of her with what looked like a breakfast an eight year old girl would prepare for herself. A slice of wrapped cheese and an uncooked hotdog. Natalie took a bite if the hotdog and turned to see Amber looking at her. She sadly smiled up at her older best friend. Amber grinned and winked at her and Natalie could not help but giggle. Amber was determined to never allow Natalie to see her pain.

"Daddy left you a note, Ams. On the table and some money. He had to leave early this morning for an emer…emerg…emergency." Amber smiled and walked to the table and read the note. It simply read – Had to go. Work emergency. Take this money and catch the bus…only go to work or last night will seem like lover's kiss on your sweet ass compared to what I will do to you if you go anywhere else. I will pick you up.

Amber put the note down and picked up the five dollar bill, just enough for the bus ride and maybe a couple of dollars left over. She looked at Natalie, who had focused back on the television, and sighed. She just couldn't leave the girl alone with her drugged out mother. She knew she would pay a price but she did not care. Her love for the little girl was too deep. She wrote something on the note and walked over to Natalie and knelt down beside her.

"Hey, little peep, do you have a swimsuit?" Natalie nodded as she chewed her uncooked hotdog.

"Well go change and put on a pair of shorts and tee shirt over it. You are coming with me to work."

Natalie jumped up and gave a gleeful squeal and hugged Amber and ran to her room. Amber did not know how Rico and Jackson were going to like this, but she just could not leave Natalie alone. She would deal with that as she would with the man and woman…later. Natalie came running down the stairs in a pair of blue shorts and plain white tee shirt and was frowning. "My bathing suit is too small…it is too old and won't fit. I have not been to the beach in forever and mommy did not buy me one for camp since she did not want me swimming in a lake. I did anyway through…is it ok if I just wear this?"

Amber smiled and told her of course and the two left the house. Amber would fix Natalie a better breakfast at work…hopefully if her boss did not mind taking the food out of her first paycheck. The two girls rode the bus and Amber took a deep breath when they walked up to the snack shack. Rico was there with Jackson and the two were ogling a very beautiful brunette girl of Hispanic decent. Rico looked at his watch and smiled as Amber walked up. She was on time and that made him happy. Jackson was always late. She sat Natalie down at one of the tables surrounding the surf shack and walked over to Rico.

"Umm…Rico…can I talk to you?" Amber asked shyly.

"Oh please don't tell me you are quitting…please don't tell me that! We pulled record sales yesterday because all the boys wanted to come by and check out the pretty new girl; Jackson can only draw in monkeys on a good day."

"Hey, watch it, midget! I will have you know the girls flock here to see ole Jackson." Rico rolled his eyes and Amber giggled.

"Just ignore him…and tell me you are not quitting."

"Umm…no…but…well…my sister…step sister," Amber pointed to Natalie, to avoid questions on her home life she thought it just to call the girl her step sister, who was already chatting away with some boy of about nineteen. "Excuse me." Amber said to Rico and pulled Natalie away from the boy. He was harmless but she needed to know not to talk to strangers in this cruel world. Amber kindly chastised the girl who smiled and said yes m'am and sat at the bar stool at the shack.

"Hey, Ams, is this boy a stranger too? Or can I talk to him?" Amber smiled and was about to reply before Rico cut her off. "Well, he's strange but not a stranger…I think you would be safe as long as you know monkey talk." Jackson smiled at the pretty little girl and started jumping around like a monkey and making monkey sounds. Natalie giggled delightfully. Amber smiled sadly at the girl who craved affection from anybody she met.

"Anyway…umm…she did not have anyone at home to watch her…her mom is…sick…and I was hoping she may be able to hang out here. I promise she won't be in the way and it won't become a habit…I had not choice…and she is hungry and…I will pay you back from my first check and…" Amber rattled on so fast Rico had to hold up his hands and slow her down.

"Whoa, girl…sure she can stay…there is plenty she can do while hanging around the shack…hell if she wants we can put her to work. I always liked free labor." Rico laughed and Amber smiled in gratitude. Rico turned to Jackson, "Hey, monkey boy, go and fix the girl some eggs and bacon I have in the back I use for my breakfast." Jackson, still acting like a monkey, bounced over to Rico and pretended he was grooming the other boy as monkey's do. Natalie laughed so hard she had to hold her stomach when it started aching from laughter. Amber smiled at the girl and her innocence.

"Hey, would you like to come help me fix your breakfast? And my name is Jackson." Jackson said to the little girl. She smiled and looked at Amber who nodded her head. Natalie jumped off the stool and ran to follow Jackson to the back. Amber heard her tell Jackson her name as they went into the back room. She looked at Rico and told him thank you. Rico smiled. He liked this girl sad quite girl.

"Amber, I know Jackson and I argue a lot, but that is they way we are, but here we help each other out. Anytime you need her to come she can and don't worry about paying for the food. It kills me to do this but she eats free like all my employees." He smiled at her and Amber grinned her thanks as she started checking the hotdog cooker to make sure it was full. "And anytime you need a long break if we are not busy take it…don't worry about mean ole Rico." Amber blushed and nodded.

They day went buy quickly since they were busy, mostly boys, and Amber kept a sharp eye on Natalie having given the girl instructions not to leave her site. Rico and Jackson helped her as well and while Natalie did as she was told she grew bored as an eight year old would and started begging Amber to go to the ocean.

"I can't, Natalie, I have to work. Just play around here and when I go on break we can take a walk down to the ocean. I promise."

"Please…pretty please…I know how to swim and I won't talk to strangers…please." The girl whined.

"No and not another word. Just hang out here." Amber said with authority and Natalie muttered something about Amber not being a good best friend and sat on the stool pouting. Amber turned around to pour some cheese on some nacho chips for a customer.

"I'll take her…she would be safe with me and I am not a stranger." Amber heard the slightly whiney sexy voice. She cringed and turned around to see Lilly sitting next to Natalie. The blonde's hair was down and wet and her life guard shirt clung to her body and Amber had to force her gaze from the girl as she thought how sexy she looked at that moment.

"Who are you? Are you a friend of Amber's?" Natalie asked the pretty blonde girl.

"Well…I would like to be, but she won't let me. I go to school with her. My name's Lilly. What's yours?." Lilly smiled kindly.

"Hey, Ams, she has the same name as your mom…that's sweet. My name is Natalie." The girl stuck her hand out and shook Lilly's hand. Lilly smiled at the girl. She knew who she was by the journal and Amber was right, she was a very pretty precious child. She was very pretty and looked small for her age. Lilly felt her heart ache when she remembered the things mentioned in the journal about the girl. Lilly gave Amber a look with a raised eyebrow when the girl called her by her nick name. The same name she got yelled at yesterday for using. Lilly smiled at Amber and was glad the sad girl could seem to love again. She needed that. It was a step in the right direction.

"She knows who you are, Natalie, don't let her fool you…and as far as her having the same name as my mom that is as far as it goes, my mother would never betray a trust in someone even if she did not know the person." Amber said sharply and handed the boy his nachos and took his money. He told her to keep the change as he leered at her. Amber was doing well in tips and it was money she could hide from the man and woman. She planned on saving enough to take Natalie shopping. "And no you cannot go with her. Just stay around here."

"Please, Ams, please…I'll be good…you have been teaching me manners and to be a lady and I promise…I want to see the ocean and play on the beach! Please!" Natalie begged and Amber started to lose her temper, something she used to not have much of.

"I said no and one more word and we will go home and you can spend the day with your mother!" She said to harshly and immediately regretted it. She knew better than to threaten the girl by using her mother. Natalie started crying and Lilly put her arms around the girl and gave Amber a sharp look. Amber rolled her eyes.

"I'm sorry, little peep…I did not mean it. Hey, why don't you go in the back and get some more nacho chips holders…remember where I showed you? I'll…I'll talk to Lilly about taking you to the beach." Natalie stopped crying and squealed in delight and ran around to the inside of the shack and hugged Amber.

"I promise I will be good….thank you, thank you, thank you, Ams!" The girl cried out and went in the back.

Amber walked over to Lilly and leaned close to the girl. She had to fight the desire to kiss her again. "She can go but I have some rules. First she is not to go into the ocean to far. I have no idea how well she can swim. She must be back at six thirty. He dad is picking us up when I get off at seven. That is very important. She needs some sunscreen. And don't you dare mention or ask her about anything you read when you pried into my life! She knows nothing of my story and she is just too young to understand! I swear I will…well…I can't beat you up or hurt you, but I damn sure can think of something to hurt you if you pry into my life through her. That is something you can count on. I have learned how to be cruel!" Amber said harshly.

Lilly just gave her a sexy smile and nodded, "I won't…I would not do that with her." Amber gave a forced chuckle at that and Lilly ignored her, "And as far as the swimming thing, I am a trained life guard and worked this beach during the summer and I know all the other life guards so she will be safe. And lastly, thank you for letting her go. And…out of curiosity…does you being cruel have anything to do with kissing me like yesterday when you were mad at me? If that is you being mad and cruel…hell I would do things to piss you off on purpose all the time." Lilly teased with a wink and Amber blushed.

Amber turned to avoid the girl's stare and to sneak a smile as Natalie came back into the service area of the shack with her hands full of the chip holders. Lilly giggled at the cute girl trying to balance them without dropping them. Amber took them from her arms and placed them on the counter and then she knelt down and hugged the girl. Before she pulled apart she placed her lips to the girl and whispered in her ear.

"Little peep, remember we are best friends and we have secrets. Do not share any of our secrets with anyone…I mean anyone. What we know and what happens to us is between you and me. Promise me that! Even if they ask you! And remember do not trust anyone regardless of how nice and pretty they are; it's just me and you." Amber did not trust the girl who read her personal journal.

Natalie nodded and kissed Amber on the cheek, "I love you, Ams, and I promise. I will be good and I won't tell anyone our secrets." She broke her embrace and ran around the counter and took Lilly's hand and the two girls walked down to the ocean area. Amber watched them go and smiled at the site. Natalie was already chatting away with the older girl. Amber blushed when a customer had to shout for her attention several times as she was staring at Lilly's butt swishing back and forth as she walked. She was admiring the way the blonde's bikini had ridden up her butt and then thought it was sexy when the blonde used her thumbs to pry the bikini from her butt crack.

Amber looked at her watch and started to worry when it read six forty five and Natalie was not back yet. The snack shack closed in fifteen minutes and the man was already sitting in his car at the road waiting for her. She started to really panic ten minutes later as Jackson announced happily the day was almost over and started cleaning up. At seven o'clock Amber was almost in a nervous break down as Jackson closed and locked the slide down doors to cover the counter and told Amber he would see her tomorrow afternoon after school. Natalie and Lilly were not back yet. Amber took a deep breath and walked up to the parking area to the black BMW. Her buttocks and the back of her thighs burned in pain from the welts. She had been on her feet almost all day and she was sore. She walked to the driver side window and it rolled down. The man had a mean look on his face.

"So…where's my daughter? I hope you did not let her drown." He asked cruelly.

"Umm…no…she went to the beach with a friend from school…I told them to be back on time…and…"

"Well don't just stand there like a fucking idiot…go fucking get her! What kind of friends do you have anyway that do not know how to tell time."

"Yes, sir." Amber said and walked back to the beach. She heard the man call after her.

"And if you are not back in ten minutes I am leaving you and you have to walk home…do you hear me you, irresponsible little bitch!" Amber blushed as she heard other people in the parking lot laugh at her.

Amber panicked! She had not idea where to start looking for Lilly and Natalie. She walked and felt her eyes water in fear. She was not afraid for herself. The man would use her and be cruel to her even if she was perfect. No she felt like crying for the Natalie. She was afraid of what may happen to the little girl. Amber looked around and saw the boy with black hair that Lilly hung around with at school. He was sitting at a table with some other boys. She did not know his name but knew she had a couple of classes with him. She walked up to him quickly and ignored the pain from the welts. He saw her coming and waited for her.

"Hey…umm…I'm Amber…from school…do you know where Lilly is or what part of the beach she hangs out at. She had my stepsister and I need to find her…fast."

Oliver looked at the small girl and smiled kindly. He felt pity from her after what Lilly told him. "Hell, I did not know Lilly was a kidnapper now…I mean she has done some strange things in the past…but kidnapping was never one of them." He smiled at his small joke was rewarded with a cold stare. He shrugged and picked up his drink from the table and stood up.

"Come on…I'll show you." Amber followed him and ignored the comments she and Oliver got as they walked to the ocean. They did not have to walk far when she saw Lilly and Natalie walking toward them through the sand. Natalie smiled and pointed at Amber and then let go of Lilly's hand and ran toward the brunette. She hugged Amber and grinned.

"Oh, Ams, we had so much fun…did you know Lilly surfs…and she is very good. She wouldn't let me try today but she said if it was ok with you she would teach me. Can I? She said she teaches people sometimes and…and she is real good and a life guard…a real life guard like on TV…please, Ams, please…can I?" Natalie begged and Amber pried the girl' arms from her, grabbed the cup from Oliver's hand, and walked to Lilly. Lilly was smiling as Amber walked to her.

"She is such a sweet girl. Very polite. She said you have been teaching her how to be a lady and it shows. We had…What the fuck, Amber! What the hell was that for!" Lilly screamed as Amber poured the cup full of cola and ice over Lilly's head.

"Ohhh she said a bad word!" Natalie yelled out and looked up at Oliver. "Hi. I'm Natalie. I'm Ambers best friend and sister…well kind of…we love each other like sisters. Are you Amber's boy friend?" Oliver grinned at this cute girl and shook his head.

"No…just know her from school. I'm Oliver." Oliver and Natalie then turned their attention back to the two girls. Amber was staring at Lilly like she wanted to hit her and Lilly was looking back with a shocked look on her face with cola dripping from her hair and face.

"I will tell you what the fuck you stupid…stupid…stupid girl! Argh! I don't know enough about fighting to hit you so it was the best I could do! I told you six damn thirty! It is past seven now and…God I should have known better than to let _you_ of all people take her! Just leave me alone like I asked yesterday! Leave me…us… the fuck alone you stupid bitch!"

Oliver stepped up for his friend when he was shocked just to see Lilly standing there taking the abuse. Normally Lilly would have hit the girl just for pouring the drink on her and really would have kicked her ass for calling her a bitch, "Hey…come on…they were just having a good time…so they are a little late…just chill, girl. No one was hurt."

Amber turned and her green eyes sparked in anger at Oliver. "Shut the fuck up! You don't understand…neither of you understand! Can't you…don't you…just leave me…us alone!" Amber had tears in her eyes now from her anger and fear for what may happen to the little girl when they got home. She walked back to Natalie and took her hand a little to hard and Natalie let out a squeak of pain.

"Hey…no need to hurt her…it was not her fault!" Oliver yelled, still stunned by Lilly's silence.

Amber turned again, "It is none of you business so SHUT THE FUCK UP, PRICK!" She then knelt to Natalie, who was openly crying and scared. The girl never heard Amber yell like that or use the words she used. Amber noticed for the first time that Natalie was wearing a bathing suit and carrying her shorts and shirt in her hands.

"Where did you get that suit, Natalie?" Amber asked in a lower voice but still sharp with anger.

"L-L-Lilly brought i-i-it for m-m-me." She stammered out through her tears.

Amber grabbed the girl's clothes from her hand and roughly pulled the bathing suit off the girl and put her shorts and shirt back on her. Natalie protested.

"A-A-Ammer…stop! W-w-we are in p-p-public. Y-y-ou are s-s-scaring me, A-ammer." He girl whined but Amber ignored her. The Goth girl stood back up and threw the bathing suit at Lilly. Lilly stood there and allowed the suit to hit her in the face without a word or flinching.

"We don't need your Goddamn charity!" She screamed at Lilly. Amber knelt back down to Natalie. "Little peep, please listen to me. I am sorry but we have to go. You dad is waiting for us." Both Lilly and Oliver noticed the girl's eyes grow wide in fear.

"I-i-is he mad?" She asked.

"Yeah, baby, he's mad. Come on we have to go." Amber whispered to the girl and stood up. Amber tried to take the girls hand but she ran to Lilly and wrapped her arms around the blonde girl and hugged her. Lilly hugged her back.

"Thank you Lilly…I had a wonderful time. We have to go know." Natalie broke the hug and ran back to Amber and took her hand. Oliver and Lilly watched Amber and the girl walk quickly away from the beach. Oliver turned to Lilly.

"What the hell, Lilly? You are going to just stand there and let her get away with it?"

Lilly looked at Oliver and the boy saw for the first time that Lilly was crying, "Oh God, I…I fucked up Oliver! I…I made a big mistake. We were having so much fun I let time got by me. I…I fucked up big time! She…both of them…are probably going to get hurt tonight because of me."

Oliver looked confused, "So she is a little late…what's the big deal?"

Lilly took a deep breath to control her emotions, "She's right…you don't understand even after what I told you about her." Lilly bent over and picked up the bathing suit and walked back to the ocean to get her surf board and other beach gear. She let the tears flow from her eyes and desperately wished Miley was back. Her best friend would understand. Oliver stared after her and then it hit him. He ran after Lilly calling her name. Lilly waited for Oliver to comfort her as she knew he would try to do. She would let him so she could cry on his shoulder for the guilt she felt for her mistake and the pity and sadness she felt for Amber and Natalie. _Well…she was angry…that means something…at least it means she can still feel. That's a start. Her eyes showed life…which is good. Ohhh…FUCK! Amber I am so sorry…so fucking sorry and I would take your place tonight if I could_, Lilly thought as she put face in her hands and cried.

Amber and Natalie walked hand in hand back to the parking lot by the beach without a word. Natalie sniffled often. Amber groaned when she saw the Black BMW was gone. She looked at her watch and saw it had been twenty minutes since the man told her to find his daughter. Amber looked down at Natalie and the girl looked up at her.

"Where's daddy, Ammer?"

"He left…I guess he did not want to wait. We have to take the bus home. I made plenty in tips today so we will be ok."

Natalie squeezed Amber's hand tighter, "Ok." She simply said and they walked to the bus stop. They sat on the bench and waited and Amber hoped they would not have to wait long. Natalie curled up on the bench and laid her head on Amber's shoulder. Amber turned her head and kissed the girl on the top of her head. Natalie smiled.

"Are you still mad at me, Ammer?"

"Oh, little peep, I was never mad at you. I was mad at Lilly. I should not have let you gone to the beach with her. I'm sorry I scared you, baby."

Natalie smiled, "You said some real bad words…real bad."

Amber smiled, "Yeah and don't you dare repeat them. It was very non lady like."

"I won't…I promise. Are you real mad at Lilly? She is real nice and fun…and very pretty…she likes you…she told me she wanted to be your friend and you won't let her. Why not, Ams, why don't you like Lilly? I…I think she can be the one to protect us like the lovely Ran did for you. She is nice, pretty, and fun but strong. Even the boys did not mess with her. Even the ones with the big muscles. Some tried to flirt with her and one said a bad word to her and she yelled at him for saying that word in front of me and he got scared. If you liked her and if she was your friend she could protect us. I want to choose her."

Amber put her arm around the girl and held her tight, "Oh, little peep, I wish it was that easy. It's not, baby, it's not. I don't think even Ran could protect us this time. And Lilly is not nice don't let her fool you. She likes to pry in other peopled business. You did not tell her anything about…about our secrets did you?"

"No…I promise…and she did not ask. She asked some things about you…not about our secrets but just normal stuff like what type of food do you like, what type of movies, stuff like that…I didn't know much…you never told me. I like her and want to see her again. Will you tell me about the things you like?"

Amber smiled at the girl's innocence. "I will, baby, one day we will talk about these things. Natalie, remember last night when I told you not to trust anyone…and again today. Well you can't, little peep. It is just me and you, baby, and no one else. All we have is each other. We cannot count on anyone but each other ok."

Natalie sat up and looked at Amber, "I thought about that today when I was playing with Lilly. She had a lot of friends and I want a lot of friends. I…I think you are wrong, Ammer. I want to be able to have friends who laugh and have fun and do things like go to the beach and surf. Is the no one you trust anymore?"

Amber smiled kindly, "I trust you…and there used to be but I…I was mean to them and left them very sad. I don't think they like me anymore." Amber thought how wonderful it would be to be back at the Isuel's house with Natalie. There the girl would know the true love parents could give.

Natalie put her head back on Amber's shoulder, "I'm cold. Ams, I trust you too but you are wrong about the lovely Ran. She could have protected us and you are wrong about Lilly…she can too…I choose her. I told you I would find someone and I did."

Amber wrapped her arms around the sweet innocent child tighter to keep her warm and sighed. They only had to wait a few more minutes before the bus arrived. They sat on the mostly deserted bus and Natalie lay down across the seat and placed her head on the Goth girls lap. Amber stroked the long golden hair and cried at the thought of what may happen to the girl when they got home.

"Ams…do you think mommy will be mad too?"

"I don't know, honey, I don't know. Maybe she is to sick to notice you were gone all day."

"I hope so…I don't want her to be mad." Amber realized Natalie was more afraid of her mother than her father and it made sense. The girl's father may have touched her sexually and made threats of future sexual abuse, but he never punished her besides sending her to her room and calling her names. He never beat her or hit her. It was the woman who physically hurt the girl. The woman who hurt her own sweet child in cruel and painful ways. Ways that she expertly did to hide marks and prevent scars. The man had no problem physically hurting Amber; he enjoyed it and he too was an expert and never marked her face and hurt her in ways that did not scar and healed invisibly. Amber cried harder at the thought of Natalie having to suffer pain and abuse because she took her to work with her today. She felt terrible guilt because she loved the girl so much. Amber knew it was her curse and she tried not to love her but she could not stop. Amber knew the way to end the curse was going to be easy if she could find the courage. She would kill the man, the woman, and then herself and Natalie would go live with Ran's parents and then the small girl's world would be a good place to live and she would know love. She just needed to find the courage.

"Ams, I'm hungry. Do you think mommy and daddy already ate?" The girl asked Amber.

"I don't know, little peep, I hope not." Amber knew they most likely had. It was a little after eight. The man and woman had a rule that if you were not home for dinner when they ate then you did not eat. She knew Natalie would go to bed hungry tonight. Amber let out a sob at the thought and Natalie turned her head and looked at her. She reached her small hand up and wiped a tear from Amber's cheek.

"Ams, please don't cry…maybe daddy will not sleep with you tonight and maybe mommy will not be mad. I…I think they may have had dinner, but we'll be ok. I get a nice breakfast if I go to school early…please, Ams, don't cry. Maybe you mommy will let you give me a bath tonight and you can tell me another story about the lovely Ran and how she protected you."

Amber leaned down and wrapped her arms tighter around the girl and buried her head in her small chest and sobbed and rocked back and forth. Natalie stoked her hair and comforted her as best as she could.

When they got home, the two girls found the house empty and a note on the kitchen table telling them the man and woman went out for dinner and would not be home until late. Amber sighed in relief and Natalie jumped up and down with joy. The girl's joy ended when Amber went to fix the girl some dinner and they found the refrigerator and pantry empty of any food they could have eaten. The man, in his cruelty, threw out the majority of the food Amber could have used to cook with. All that was left were canned vegetables Natalie would not eat. Amber smiled and took out her wallet and counted her money. With the tips she made yesterday and today she had plenty of money to order something delivered.

"Little peep, do you like Chinese Food?" She called into the living room where Natalie was watching television and pouting about being hungry.

"Yeah…why?" She called back.

"I am going to order some. What do you like?" Natalie came running into the kitchen and danced around happily as she looked over the menus in the yellow pages.

Amber had to call three restaurants to find one who delivered but she did and ordered their dinner. After she hung up the phone she walked into the living room to find Natalie watching television again. After they ate Natalie went back to the television. She sighed; when she was younger she rarely watched television at night. She spent her evenings with her helping her mother do various things around the house, her homework, listening to her mother tell her stories about growing up in Georgia, or playing board games with her mom and dad.

"Young lady, I want you to turn that TV off right now and get ready for some fun before your bath and bedtime." Amber said in mock anger and Natalie giggled and turned the television off.

"What are we going to do, Ams?"

"What would you like to do?"

"Umm…can we go into your room and look at your pictures and tell me about you before you came here. I love your stories. You tell them so good."

"Ok…lets clean the kitchen and then tell you a story or two and then a bath and then bed."

Natalie clapped her hands and followed Amber to the kitchen. They cleaned the kitchen and washed the dishes and Amber was about to throw the left over food away and then take the trash out but changed her mind. She started putting the left over food in containers and placed them in the refrigerator.

"Ams, you should throw it out. What if mommy or daddy get mad. I think they did not want us to have dinner tonight since they took the food we had."

Amber smiled, "Fuck them…I am in a crazy mood tonight."

Natalie smiled, "Me too…fuck them!"

Amber laughed, "I'll let that one slide, little peep, but a lady does not use language like that."

Natalie giggled, "Are you a lady, Ammer?"

Amber smiled and hugged the girl, "I used to be…it seems like a long time ago, but I used to be."

"Well…I think you still are."

Amber laughed, "Well thank you, dear. Little peep, has anyone every told you how adorable you are?"

The young girl thought for a moment, "No…not really. Am I? Adorable?"

"You are the most adorable, precious, lovely child I have ever met." Amber gave her a tight squeeze. "No lets go look at the pictures. You know I have not looked at them in a long time myself."

Natalie ran up to Amber's room as Amber followed. She sat on the bed and Amber got the box from the back of her closet and the two girls sat down and looked at the pictures. Amber told the girl stories as she showed her many pictures of her and Ran and her parents and then Natalie found one of Amber and a blonde girl. Amber had her arms wrapped around the girl in a very loving embrace and was kissing her cheek. Natalie thought she never saw Amber look so happy. She held it up.

"Who's this. She is sooo pretty. She looks like an angel."

Amber chuckled and looked at the picture fondly, "That is Samantha. She was a very good friend of mine at one time."

"Why did you laugh?"

"Well…not many people would compare Samantha Puckett to an angel." Amber laughed.

"Why? She is so beautiful and has very long blonde curly hair like an angel."

Amber smiled at the picture again and she always thought the same thing Natalie did. To her Samantha was an angel. "Well…she was…she is hard to explain."

Natalie looked at the picture again, "Did you love her like you loved Ran."

Amber smiled sadly and took the picture from Natalie's hand and stared at it. She felt her eyes get watery and wiped them quickly, "Yeah…I love her very deeply. I love her more than Ran in a certain way and in a certain way I love Ran more than her. You'll understand when you get older. It was a different kind of love but in ways it was deeper…more intense than it was with Ran. I did not know her as long as I did Ran," Amber sniffled, "But yes, little peep, I love Samantha a great deal. Maybe…maybe too much."

"It makes you sad to think about her, huh?"

Amber smiled at the picture and handed it back to the girl, "Yeah…sad and happy at once."

"What happened to her? Do you still love her? Was she as strong as the lovely Ran? Did she protect you also? What was she like?"

Amber smiled, "Whoa…slow down girl…Well…she died as well…we were not close friends when she died. I still loved her a great deal…as much as when we were very close…but she…well…she loved me less than I loved her when she died. But yes I still love her; I will always love her as much as I ever did."

Natalie looked stared at the picture, "She was very pretty. What was she like?"

Amber laughed, "Samantha was well…Samantha. Umm lets see…she was tough and strong…actually much tougher than Ran in a lot of ways. She did not take shit…and no you may not use that word…from anyone. She got into fights, a lot of trouble in school, but she was smart, and sometimes she got into trouble with the police."

"She was mean?"

Amber chuckled as she thought of the best way to describe Samantha Puckett, "Well…yeah she could be…but only if you mad her mad or…well…she is hard to explain…she was very kind and loving to me at one time. She…wow, little peep, I never thought of how to describe her. No I would not call her mean, but I loved her so I am biased. She was…she was a very good person who I love dearly. To me she was a wonderful lovely girl. She could be caring and so loving and smart…she was Samantha. That is best I can think of."

Natalie smiled and put the picture down, "I like Ran better. Ams, can I ask you something?"

"Sure, but then the bath tub. You have to be in bed before your mom and dad come home."

"Ok. Why did you come to live with us? From what you told me you were happy in Seattle and you lived with Ran's mommy and daddy and they were good to you. Why?"

Amber smiled sadly, "That is a very hard to explain. I…well I lost so much back home. My heart was broken and I thought if I moved here I could start over again and maybe heal it. That is the best way to explain it. Why…you are not happy I am here? Should I pack my stuff and go back?" Amber teased the girl.

"Gosh, no! I never want you to leave! I love you so much and I am glad you are here. I just wanted to know. I…I sometimes wish you were my mommy and it was just you and me living here…like tonight. It has been a great night. One of the best I have ever had."

Amber hugged the girl, "Me too…it has been the best night I have had since I have been here."

"Do you wish you never came to live here now that you know what it is like?"

Amber smiled and kissed the girl on the top of her head, "Well…not since I fell in love with you…I am not going to leave you alone here, little peep, I promise you. I may not be strong enough to protect you at times, but I am not going to leave you alone. We are in this together, remember that. I will do things…things I don't want to do…to protect you. I will let them hurt me before I let them hurt you…I promise you that, Natalie…I promise you." Amber allowed a few tears to run down her cheeks as she smiled down at the little girl.

"I'm sorry, Ams, I am sorry you love me. I know you are sad and…I'm sorry. I…I wish you never would have fell in love with me and I am sorry for that. I don't want them to hurt you." Natalie started crying as well. She wiped her nose and eyes with her hand, "Ams, would the lovely Ran be mad at the things you have to do…or even you friend Samantha…would they be mad at you."

"Hush…I am glad I met you. They would understand…they would not like it, but they would understand. Hell…Samantha would…well at one time she would have killed anyone that hurt me…she almost did once…no that story is for another time," Amber said as she saw Natalie perk up with the thought of anther story, "it is a sad story we do not need right now. But I know one thing they would like about me living here…you! They would both adore you and would love you…I think even you would be able to melt and win Samantha's heart in a way I tried very hard to do, but never could. You taught me something, little peep."

"What?"

"You taught me how to love again…now lets go get in the tub, you still have sand in your hair. And then I will tell you a story of the lovely Ran as you go to sleep."

"Yaaay!" Natalie squealed and being an eight year old girl she still had questions, "Ammer, your friend Samantha, why did she not love you anymore? How come she stopped loving you like you loved her?"

Amber sighed, "Well…someone else stole her love away from me."

"That person must have been very pretty and special to steal her way from someone a pretty and kind as you are."

Amber laughed at the comment and thought sadly of Samantha and Carly, "Well she was a witch and she cast a spell on Samantha. She was gross and ugly and had a long nose and a face full of warts. And her hair…yuck…her hair was full of worms and maggots…Carly Shay was an evil gypsy witch." Amber said of the girl she feuded with and disliked intensely since her freshman year of high school. The girl who she always thought of as the prettiest and most perfect girl she ever saw. The girl she grew to hate when she started dating Samantha Puckett and the girl she despised after she stole Samantha from her.

Natalie laughed, "I don't believe you. You are making it up!"

"Nope, it's the truth. She used to do terrible things to little girls like you…she would do this." Amber threw the girl on the bed and pulled up her shirt and blew strawberries in the girl's stomach. Natalie squealed and laughed in delight until she begged Amber to stop because it tickled her too much and she screamed she was going to pee her pants. Natalie wiggled loose and ran to the bathroom laughing.

"I will keep you safe, Natalie; I promise…even if it takes what I have to do…you will be safe. I cannot protect you the way Ran or even Samantha could, but I can protect you in my own way." Amber said and got off the bed when Natalie yelled for her to hurry up. After the bath and Amber tucked the girl in her bed and told her a story of her and Ran and she clutched the picture of Amber and Ran in her little hands as she listened to the story. Before the child drifted off she told Amber in a sleepy voice to be nice to Lilly and be her friend and that she liked the girl a lot. After Natalie fell asleep her took the picture from the girl's hand and placed it under her pillow. Amber waited in her bed for the man to come visit her and eventually fell asleep. She woke up the next morning and realized he did not come for her that night and what normally would have been great relief was a gripping fear that ran through her body. Amber jumped out of bed as her heart raced with that fear. She ran to Natalie's room and she stopped half way when she saw the girl in the hall bathroom brushing her teeth. Natalie gave her a large toothpaste filled grin and Amber relaxed. The man did not go into her room either last night. She hugged the girl and kissed her on her head and walked back to her room to get dressed. She had no idea and never found out why the man did not come to her and she was too relieved to even care.


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning at school went by quickly for Amber and the bell rang while she was in class signaling the end of class and the start of lunch. Amber made her way to the gym slowly and thought about this morning. She was late for school because she had to clean up the kitchen. The woman had threw the left over Chinese food all over the kitchen when she got home last night and made Amber clean it up yelling at here never to feed her child "chink" food again. Natalie tried to help but her mother threw her on the floor and told her to go to school. Amber looked at the sad girl staring at her and winked. Natalie smiled sadly and went to school while Amber cleaned the kitchen with the woman screaming at her and threatening her and hitting her in the back with a long steel heavy soup ladle as Amber was on her hands and knees cleaning the floor. She would have thought it was comical scene if it had not hurt. All the time the man yelling at her for making them late.

As Amber walked to her meeting with Jake she thought of the small girl she grew to love and she knew she needed to talk to Ran's parents and tell then about the girl so they can work on getting custody of her after Amber found the courage to do what she wanted to do. But there were several problems she saw with her plan. First she would have to tell the Isuels what was happening and they would insist…not insist but do…on taking Amber back regardless if she wanted to go or not. And that would leave Natalie alone in that house. Next she had to find a way to make sure Natalie did go live with the Isuels and not end up in some foster care home that was worse than where she lived now. Amber smiled as she thought of the dream she had last night of Natalie looking upon Ran's bedroom for the first time. The room had gone unchanged since the death of her best friend, something Amber insisted on when she lived there. She did not want to change a thing and knew Natalie would not either. The girl came to worship Ran through Amber's stories and in her dream Natalie was awe stricken when she saw the bedroom where her goddess slept, lived, laughed, and loved. She dreamed Ran was alive and her best friend wrapped her arms around the small girl in a loving embrace to protect her and keep the fear way. Amber dreamed Natalie would be safe in the bed where Ran and Amber had slept together thousands of times since the two were younger than Natalie; Ran's arms wrapped around her best friend and Amber pressing against her hard to feel safe and free from fear. It was a nonsexual love but stronger than any bound Amber or Ran ever had with their lovers. Amber dreamed Natalie would lie in the arms of her own private goddess and feel love, joy, and be free from fear for the first time in her life. It was a happy dream for Amber and a welcomed departure of the dream of the White Lady.

Amber approached the gym doors and sighed as she opened her purse and made sure she brought condoms, she could not trust the boy Jake to have any and if he brought any friends she was sure they would not have any either. She was not worried about getting pregnant since the man made her take the birth control pills, but she did not know what disease this boy may have. Amber smiled cruelly at the thought of catching a disease and giving it to the man. She thought of the man dying of AIDS or his testicles being swollen the size of grapefruits as he suffered in horrible pain due to some disease Amber got and passed to him. Amber was a very intelligent girl and she could be devious when she wanted to be, Carly Shay found that out when the two girls feuded over their short high school years, but recent life had taught Amber how to be cruel as well…very cruel.

She took a deep breath and opened one of the double doors and saw Jake and two other boys standing by the bleachers and to her horror she saw Lilly Truscott talking to them as well. Amber was about to walk away when Lilly so her and waved to her to come over. Amber walked slowly to the group and she saw Jake glare at her like it was her fault Lilly was there.

"Hi, Amber, I just came in here to shot some hoops during lunch and saw Jake, Michael, and Brad hanging out. Have you met them yet? Guys this is Amber St. Claire. She's new here. Michel here is Ashley's boyfriend…you may have met him. I know you met her. She was the bitch we ran into Friday…remember?" Lilly said cheerfully. Amber nodded. She new Michael since he asked her out a hundred times last week. "And good ole Jake here is dating my very best friend in the world, Miley Stewart. Right Jake?" Jake nodded and looked very angry. Lilly then walked up close to Brad and seductively snaked her body around him and caressed his cheek with her hand. The boy turned red and looked like he was going to run away in fear. "And Brad here…well poor Brad is not dating anyone. He asked me out a number of times and I thought maybe…just maybe I'll go out with him." Lilly brought her lips close to his and looked as if she was going to kiss the boy but as he tilted his head to accept the kiss she pulled away laughing, "But then I would think about how I really disliked him and what and asshole he was and decided not to."

Amber was very impressed with Lilly and her teasing of the boys. She knew what the girl was doing there because Amber wrote it in her journal, but she did not know why Lilly cared to be there. Amber felt confusion over the girl. She hated her one minute and then felt desire and even fondness the next. As Amber watched Lilly interact with the boys, especially Brad and how seductive and teasing she acted, she thought she had to be real careful with this girl. Lilly knew how to play the game. Amber was an expert at the game so she could spot another professional herself.

"Don't be a bitch Lilly, you be Miley's best friend but that does not mean I will not slap the shit out of you. Leave Brad alone…we all know you are into girls anyway." Jake said.

Lilly laughed, "Awww…poor Jake…you sound upset…did I interrupt something?"

"Umm…Jake…we're leaving…see you later." Brad said and him and Michael walked out of the gym.

Lilly laughed again, "Wow, Jake, seems your little party broke up. A shame, huh?"

"I'm warning you, Lilly, cut the shit or I'll tell Miley your acting like a bitch to me. Then we'll see who means more to her." Jake smirked.

Lilly walked up to Jake and pressed her body to his like a temptress and brought her lips to his ear. "Now Jake…how would you like it if I told her why you were here in the gym today? I don't think she would appreciate it."

Jake stood with his arms at his side and clenched his fists, "You're just jealous I took her away from you. I know what the two of you used to do."

Lilly backed off of him and laughed, "Yeah it's not a secret we used to fuck, Jake. And wow was it good. Did she ever tell you how much she loved going down on me? Did she ever tell you how she would scream out and beg when I made her cum? Did she ever tell you how she and I used to love to worship each other's bodies all night long? She doesn't do that with you does she, Jake? No, your arrogant son of a bitch, I am not jealous of you and Miley. What we had was a fling…a lust filled passionate fling. We love one another as friends and we both knew it would never work out so we stayed friends and nothing more. You did not take her way from me, prick, I let her go the way she let me go." Lilly leaned in closer again and whispered in Jake's ear so Amber could not hear her. "But if you ever do what you did to Amber again I will tell Miley what you did and had planned to do to her. If you ever even say hello to the girl I will cut your dick off and shove it up your ass. Understand?" Lilly then backed of and traced her fingers over the boy's chest. "I don't like you, Jake, you know that, but I tolerate you for Miley's sake. And until she sees you for what you are I will continue to tolerate you, but don't piss me off…you never want to piss me off."

Jake did not know what to say so he just backed away and walked quickly from the gym, leaving Amber and Lilly alone. Lilly turned to Amber and smiled, "Damn…that felt good. I'm sorry I…well acted so crude with him, but I cannot stand the arrogant bastard and he brings out the worse in me."

Amber stared at her and Lilly was waiting for the girl to thank her and maybe even hug her. She was shocked when Amber yelled at her. "Why, Lilly? What the hell are you doing? Why can't you leave me alone? I told you to leave me alone! You just make things worse with your interfering! I don't understand why me! I don't even know you at all and you constantly interfere in my life! Why, Lilly, why?"

Lilly shrugged, "I like you, Amber. I want to be a friend and maybe more. I want to…I want to help."

Amber laughed harshly, "You don't even know me….you _don't_ want to know me, trust me on that one. You should not want to be my friend and more. You should run, Lilly, you should run as fast as you can."

Lilly walked closer, "I don't want to run…I want to get to know you."

"Know me? You read my writings…you know me! I…I don't need your help, Lilly! I don't want your help!"

Lilly was standing very close to the Got girl and her heart was pounding with desire. She put her arms around Amber's thin waist and smiled since Amber did not pull away. "But I do…want to know you more and help you…and since your writings are just stories…I want to see how they end."

Amber looked into Lilly's pretty blue gray eyes. She felt her own desire build for this girl and she tried to fight it but could not. They way Lilly held her and pulled her close drove her crazy. The smell of Lilly's scent drove her mad. She felt conflicting emotions of desire and betrayal as she leaned her head closer to the girl. She felt her desire was betraying herself and the memory of Ran and Samantha. Amber was not supposed to feel these feelings anymore. She never wanted to feel this way again about anybody. She knew it would only end horribly and she could not do that again. Lilly leaned forward to kiss her and she could not find the strength to pull away.

"L-L-Lilly, please…no…I…" Amber felt Lilly's mouth on hers and she welcomed it. Her lips parted and she sucked Lilly's tongue into her mouth. She circled her own tongue around the one inside her mouth and then drove hers deep into Lilly's parted lips. The girls kissed with intensity. Amber moaned in pleasure and then gasped in disappointment as Lilly pulled away. Amber's head tried to follow Lilly's as she pulled back. Lilly smiled at the girl and held her tight.

"See…was that so bad. I…I do like you, Amber." The blonde started to stroke the girl's long black hair.

Amber smiled sadly as she looked into Lilly's eyes, "I cant…don't you see…we can't. If…if I could it would not work anyway. I cannot date, I am not allowed to leave the house but for school and work…and I can't even use the phone. It…I can't Lilly…" Amber felt Lilly's finger press gently against her lips and she kissed it.

"Shhh…we can make it work as best as we can. I see you at school and then your breaks at work…we can think of something."

Amber sucked the girl's finger in her mouth seductively and pulled away. "I…I can't Lilly…please leave me alone…please." Lilly heard the pleading in the girl's voice and let her go. She watched as Amber walked away quickly and then called out. "Amber, you never told me…how does it end…the story?"

Amber stopped and turned her head and Lilly saw she was crying. "My story ends sadly, Lilly…very sadly." Amber then walked quickly from the gym.

Lilly smiled, "We'll see about that, Amber, we'll see." She walked out of the gym through the other side to her first class after lunch thinking of the thrill and arousal she got from kissing Amber. She had not felt that way since…she had never felt that way even with Miley.

Later that afternoon, Lilly went to the beach and set up her stuff in her favorite spot with a clear view of pier. Lilly loved the pier and wished it was not closed. The city was planning to repair the old structure and had it closed for the past two months. She looked at the waves as it crashed along the pilings of the pier and thought of Amber. She was starting to fall in love with the girl she hardly knew. She wanted to help the Goth girl and the young delightful child Natalie but did not know how. For the hundredth time that afternoon she wished her friend Miley was back. They may not know how to help Amber, but with the two of them working together they may be able to think of a way. That is if Miley was willing to help. She could be jealous of anyone Lilly dated or hooked up with.

Lilly and Miley had a very passionate intense fling almost two years ago that lasted for seven months before the passion faded for both of them. It started when Lilly realized she liked girls and Miley in more than a friendship way and she seduced her friend. The blonde always loved Miley and they were best friends and over the years that love blossomed into something wonderful. Miley was curious and both girls were inexperienced when they first made love. Their first time was not the explosive fire work show Lilly imagined, but a humorous fumbling of two inexperienced girls. They both laughed and teased one another about their inexperience and tried it again. The second time the fire works came over and over again. Their love grew but not in the way both expected; their love grew as closer friends but not lovers. While they could not keep their hands off one another due to the lust they shared, and when that lust and passion started to fade both girls knew it was never going to be true love and decided to remain friends. Their love making strengthened their friendship more than it had been before and the two girls were as close as any friends could be. The problem was Miley's jealousy when Lilly dated someone else.

Miley started dating Jake again and Lilly did feel a small amount of jealousy toward that relationship as was expected; plus she hated Jake to begin with. The boy was a pig. But Miley always seemed extremely jealous of anyone Lilly dated including Oliver. She would use her passive aggression on Lilly's dates or lovers and then become more obvious in her disapproval. Lilly tried to avoid introducing anyone she was dating to her friend. She would get angry at her pop star friend at times about it and tell her she could not wait around for her. Miley would tell her they were just friends and nothing more and Lilly would agree, but she hated Miley's jealousy and did not understand it. But with Amber it would be different…it had to be. She needed Miley's help with the girl she was falling for. Lilly know when she told Miley of Amber's past and what the girl went through her friend would understand and help. Miley was a good person and very caring.

Lilly looked at her watch and decided to go to Rico's and see Amber. Amber asked her to stay away from her, but Lilly never said she would and she knew by the way the Goth girl kissed her she truly did not want that either. Lilly would take things slow and work first on helping Amber and then she would work on the other. She walked to the surf shack and smiled as she saw Amber working to get an order of nachos prepared and then giggled when she saw the sexy brunette had some cheese in her dark hair. Lilly sat on a stool and saw Amber look her way and then quickly turn her back. The blonde grinned when she saw a slight smile on the brunette's lips.

"Hey, Amber…when's your break. I want to show you the pier…I love the pier."

"Umm…already went…sorry." Amber muttered without turning her back.

Lilly frowned, "Oh…ok…well…"

"Amber, you didn't take a break yet! Go ahead and go…we're slow right now anyway." Jackson told her and winked at Lilly. He knew Lilly ever since she became friends with his sister and he knew when the girl liked someone. If Lilly had been a bad person or someone he felt Amber should not date then he would not be playing cupid, but he liked the blonde girl and felt she would be good for Amber to have as at least a friend. Jackson knew Lilly was a good kind person.

Lilly saw Amber sigh and turn around. The brunette walked over to Lilly and leaned across the counter, "Lilly…please…don't do this to me. I can't! Even if I want to…I can't!"

Lilly smiled, "So you do like me, huh?" Amber blushed, "Look, Amber, we can be friends...how's that? I promise I will not do anything else. I will not even kiss you. It will be a struggle, but I will contain myself."

Amber smiled a little. "See you can smile. You should do it more often…it is a charming smile. So what do you say? Allow me to show you my favorite spot and the pier." Lilly grinned.

Amber sighed loudly and then looked at Jackson, "I'm taking my break now." Lilly let out a squeal in her sexy whiny voice and Jackson smiled. "You kids have fun now…and Lilly, try to keep your hands to yourself. Amber is a classy girl and not like those skanks you normally date." Amber blushed.

"I did date your sister for a while, Jackson." Lilly said over her shoulder.

Jackson laughed, "Yeah…like I said…skanks." Lilly gave him an obscene finger gesture as she walked to the beach with Amber at her side. She reached down and lightly touched Amber's hand and the Goth girl took the hint and placed her hand in Lilly's.

A while later the two girls were sitting close on a large beach towel. Lilly still held Amber's hand and desperately wanted to kiss the other girl, but she did as she promised and just talked to her. She kept her questions safe and non- threatening as she asked Amber about the type of music she liked, her favorite movies, her favorite foods, etc. Amber answered them quickly and shyly without looking into the girl's eyes. She could not trust herself if she did.

"Soooo…Natalie is a very adorable girl. She is so sweet and very pretty." Lilly said. She exhausted the safe questions and was trying to think of something to say before Amber had to go back to work. Lilly waited for a response and saw Amber staring at the pier with a glassy look in her green eyes. Lilly felt the girl's grip on her hand tighten. Lilly watched Amber for thirty seconds and the Goth girl did not blink or move. She just stared at the pier.

"Amber…Amber…hey, baby, you ok?" Lilly asked in a concerned voice.

"See her, Lilly? Do you see her?" Amber answered in a vague voice.

"See who, honey?"

Amber pointed at the pier, "The White Lady…on the pier. See her? Standing there watching us. She…she looks mad. Normally she smiles at me…but she looks mad today."

Lilly stared at the deserted pier and then back at Amber. She felt fear grip her but remained calm. "Amber, I can't see her. There is no one there, baby."

Amber smiled, "She is so beautiful, Lilly. See how beautiful she is, Lilly?"

"Amber…you're scaring me dear. I…I don't see her."

Amber blinked hard and turned to Lilly. Her eyes were no longer glassy and she smiled, "Its ok, Lilly, it's me she is watching and waiting for, not you." Amber then leaned in and kissed Lilly on the lips. Lilly responded and wrapped her arms around the girl. Lilly felt Amber press her small body to hers and felt her arms wrap around her waist. The kiss was different than the other two she shared with Amber. This kiss was fierce and full of a passion Amber held back on the previous two. They kissed for a long time and Amber started kissing Lilly's neck and the blonde moaned in pleasure. She then felt Amber's tongue work its way up to her ear and nibble it slightly. Lilly gasped in pleasure.

"Fall in love with me, Lilly Truscott; I dare you to fall in love with me, Lilly." Lilly heard Amber whisper in her ear and then felt those wonderful lips back on hers. She broke the kiss and then kissed Amber's ear and she heard the Goth girl moan in pleasure. "I…I think I already do love you, Amber. I already fell in love with you I think." She whispered in her sexy voice. She could not see it, but she knew Amber smiled.

Amber pulled her head back and looked into Lilly's eyes sadly, "Do you believe in God, Lilly?

Lilly nodded at the strange questions, "Yeah…I mostly do, why?"

"The pray to him Lilly, pray to him to make you stop loving me. If he doesn't then pray for him to have mercy on you for loving me." Amber pulled Lilly close again before the blonde could reply and kissed her again with such passion Lilly never felt before in a kiss. After few more moments they stopped making out and both girls stood without another word and walked hand in hand back to Rico's.

:


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Lilly hung around the surf shack for the remainder of Amber's work day and flirted with the girl and was pleasantly surprised Amber even flirted back. Lilly watched the Goth girl as she was pouring a large order of drinks and smiled. She told Amber the truth on the beach earlier, she was falling in love with the girl and it was so easy to do. Amber was very pretty and extremely sexy; that was obvious to anyone who saw the small brunette. Even with the rocky start the two girls had, Lilly saw how sweet and caring Amber was by the way the Goth girl took care of the girl Natalie and how she seemed to love the little girl very much. Lilly sighed, and then there was the kissing. When Amber kissed her on the beach those kisses were so full of a passion and intensity Lilly never felt before. Lilly only had sex with three people, Miley, Oliver, and Allison; but she kissed quite a few people (both girls and boys and even one man who was 25) but she had never been kissed the way Amber kissed her when they made out earlier. Lilly never felt such passion in a kiss before. And those eyes Lilly finally saw when they were alive. The first time Lilly saw the girl her eyes were dead and dull, but when they made out on the beach Lilly got to see the eyes spark to life and she had never seen such a brilliant shade of green before. Lilly finally saw the eyes that made Amber infamous to her friends, lovers, and even her enemies in Seattle. Of course there were the secrets Lilly knew about her as well. The abuse she suffered and the losses she endured in her life and for someone like Lilly, a girl who liked to take care of and have pity on people who are hurting, falling in love with Amber was very easy to do and when Amber dared her to fall in love with her on the beach, Lilly knew at that moment it was too late, she already did. Lilly giggled when Amber caught her staring at her and the Goth girl rolled her eyes. Lilly was glad to see Amber smile as she rolled her eyes. After she completed the large order from a group of boys, who tipped the Goth girl very well, Amber walked seductively over to Lilly and leaned across the counter.

"So…see anything you like, miss?" She teased.

Lilly smiled, "I see something I like very much. I have been staring at it all afternoon and thinking how much I would like to have it."

"Umm…is that right...and I hope those thoughts were of the dirty kind."

Lilly giggled, "Oh yeah…very dirty…so dirty I should be ashamed of myself, but I'm not."

Amber laughed and when she did Lilly it came to Lilly she never heard the other girl laugh before, truly laugh, she liked it very much. To her the laugh sounded like finally tuned bells chiming to a perfect rhythm. Amber brought her hand up and caressed Lilly's cheek seductively.

"God…you are so pretty and sexy. I wish I could give you what you want, Lilly. I really do, but you are not ready yet…maybe one day you will be, but right now you aren't." Amber said sadly.

Lilly turned her head to catch Amber's hand in a kiss and gave the girl a confused look. Then she smiled at Amber's teasing of her, "Oh…I think I can handle you, Amber." She winked.

Amber sighed sadly, "Oh, baby, of that I have no doubt…but that is not what I meant. You will understand soon…I just hope you can deal with it. Remember what I told you earlier today…I gave you the chance to run…and remember what I told you on the beach when I kissed your lovely lips…pray not to love me, Lilly, I mean it, baby. Run before it is to late…for both of us." Amber briefly got another spacey look in her eyes for a brief moment before a customer called for her attention. She smiled happily at Lilly, winked in a slow seductive manner, and then went to take the customer's order. Lilly watched her closely and wandered what the girl meant.

As it became closer for Amber to get off work, Lilly felt her love grow for the strange Goth girl as she got to witness Amber's mood change from the sad abused girl to the flirty happy girl. Amber flirted not only with her but with the customers and Lilly thought she was good at it…very good. Lilly watched the girl closely all afternoon and as seven o'clock approached she saw Amber glance up to the road and the sad girl came back as quick as a lightning flash. The thrilling spark she saw in those green eyes became dead and dull again. Lilly followed her gaze and noticed a black BMW parked close to the road. Lilly knew it was the girl's uncle. She felt pity and pain for her new love. When Lilly turned back around she noticed Amber standing close to her and had some money bills in her hand and a white piece of paper.

"Lilly, do me a favor…take this money and list and buy the things on it and give it to me at school tomorrow. And pick me up a catalog for a nice…but not to expensive…clothing store for children. I…I have to go now…I want to kiss you so bad, but I can't. I…I'm sorry, Lilly. I'm sorry I did what I did."

"What did you do?" Lilly asked as she took the money and list.

"For daring you to fall in love with me…it's too late now...I don't want you to run anymore." Amber turned and walked up the hill quickly to the waiting car. Lilly sighed and unfolded the list and saw it was a list of school supplies for a child and at the bottom were words asking Lilly to buy a children's back pack and it gave the name of Natalie's favorite cartoon character. Amber wanted Lilly to buy Natalie school supplies so she would not be teased at school for not having what she needed and so the girl would not have to borrow anything any more.

Amber got into the man's car and she buckled her seat belt hoping he would not make her put him in her mouth.

"Who's the girl you were talking to? She's is pretty and has a great ass."

"No one…just a girl from school who needed help in her math class..." Amber felt her anger rising.

"And why the fuck did she come to you. She must really be desperate to ask you for help. I was hoping she wanted to fuck you…the three of us could have had some fun." The man laughed at her.

"For your fucking information, I am very smart and a whiz at math and almost anything. Something you would never know about…" Amber felt the man's large palm of his hand hit her face and her head was thrown against the car window with such force it made her dizzy. She cried out in pain.

"Don't get smart with me, whore, don't ever get a smart mouth with me, you stupid cunt!" The man grabbed her hair and pulled hard as he raised his hand again and Amber stared at him with cold dead eyes. The man laughed louder

"You think you are so tough and unbreakable don't you. Sure you let fuck you without protesting and you cry when I hurt you. But you think I cannot break you, you little whore. You think you already suffered so much…little poor Amber lost so much. First her parents and brother and then a couple of her friends…Yeah I know it all. But you can be broken, slut. I have not even tried to break you yet. Everyone has a breaking point, cunt! Everyone! I have not even begun to hurt you. I don't want to mark your pretty face and body to much, but it will come. And then there is Natalie." The man grinned as her saw Amber's watery eyes grow wide. "Yeah…you love her and it hurts you to see her hurt. That is your breaking point, cunt. That is what is going to break you." The man pulled her hair harder and Amber began to cry. She cried from the pain but mostly she cried from the threat of Natalie being hurt. The man let her go by throwing her head against the window again. "She broke the microwave today. Her mom does not know, I told her it was me…but I wonder what her mother would do if she knew Natalie broke it? Any idea what she would do, Amber?" The man gave her an evil grin.

"No…please…no…I…I will do anything you ask…please just leave her alone. Please. She is just a child." Amber begged.

The man laughed. He enjoyed seeing the girl's spirit broke. "I know you will do anything I have you do, but from now on I want to see you more enthusiastic when I fuck you. I am tired of you just laying there. From now on you are going to like me…to beg me to fuck you. Understood?"

Amber nodded and reached over and started to rub the man's crouch. His penis was already erect and Amber rubbed massaged it. "Y…yes…I…I want to put it in my mouth. I…I…please let me suck you." Amber begged through her tears. The man grinned, "That's a start. You will also continue to take Natalie to work with you on the weekends…get as close to her as possible…she likes you and I want you to be her sister. Now, slut, unzip my pants and give me a blow job and make me cum before we get home." Amber nodded and did as the man asked. As she sucked him she silently begged to die.

That night the man came to her again and Amber had sex with him as a lover does and not as a girl being raped. Amber lifter her butt off the bed to meet his thrusts, she got on top of him and rode him like a lover, and she faked moans of pleasure and ecstasy as he fucked her. She felt no pleasure as she pretended to love him. She avoided Natalie all night and it broke her heart to see the little girl run to her room in tears telling her she hated her and she was not longer her best friend because Amber would not tell her a story as she got used to when Amber gave her a bath at night. Amber knew they were just the words of an eight year olds tantrum but they stung anyway. At one time when the man was on top of her grunting and thrusting Amber looked over to the side of the bed and saw the White Lady watching her. Amber reached out and the White Lady took her hand and held it as the man thrust in her hard. The White Lady smiled at her in pity and Amber smiled back and felt safe.

Lilly watched Amber walk to the car and she ran around the surf shack and through a path that was posted as authorized personal only. It was a path Lilly used as a life guard over the summer and she knew it would lead to the road and she would get there before Amber did. She watched as Amber got into the car. The man's windows were tinted but not dark enough to where Lilly could not see the man hit Amber and pull her hair and then slam her head to the window. Lilly, with tears running down her cheeks, saw Amber bend down and her head disappeared in the direction of the man's lap. When the car drove away, Lilly dropped to the sand and sat on her butt. She put her head in her hands and cried. She wanted someone to talk to and a shoulder to cry on. She thought about calling Oliver and then she thought she could not stand to touch a man or have a man touch her right now after what she just saw. She was ashamed of herself for thinking like that about Oliver of all people but she could not help it. Right now the male species disgusted her. She cried and wished Miley was back. She never missed her best friend as she did right then.

Lilly sat next to Amber during lunch and gave her the items from the list. Amber smiled and thanked her and then focused on her food. She was not hungry and played with it instead of eating. Lilly tried to make small talk with her, but Amber ignored her and just stared at her plate playing with her food. Lilly looked at Amber closely and saw the same dreamy expression in her eyes she had at the beach the previous day.

"Hey…you ok, baby?" Lilly finally asked.

Amber looked up and smiled, "Yeah…just not hungry. Did I thank you for getting this stuff for Natalie?" Lilly nodded and Amber smiled and went back to her plate.

"Amber…I…I love you, you know that right?" Lilly asked. Amber looked up and smiled.

"You're so sweet." Amber said nonchalantly and went back to playing with her food.

"Amber, you…you can tell me anything you know…I…want you to know that." Lilly said. She did not like being ignored and she wanted the girl to acknowledge her love and be the girl she saw yesterday. The girl who smiled and flirted with her and her customers and who charmed everyone who approached the surf shack, but that girl was not here today. Lilly felt her anger rising and stood up.

"Well…if you are not going to talk to me…I…I'll just go sit with Oliver." Lilly said in a harsh voice.

Amber looked up with her dead eyes, "Ok, Lilly. See you later, sweetie." The girl said calmly and in an uncaring tone and turned her eyes back to the plate. Lilly stormed off and left the cafeteria ignoring Oliver waving for her to join him.

The blonde girl made it to the gym and then inside the empty girl's locker room before she started crying. She cried because Amber refused to acknowledge her love, because the girl ignored her, and she cried because she was a bitch to the girl she loved who needed help. Lilly hated herself for not understanding what Amber felt. How could she? She hated herself for letting her pain overcome the pain Amber felt. Last night Lilly finally understood what Amber meant when she said she was not ready for her. When she laid in bed trying to think of making love to the sexy Goth girl, all Lilly could think about was the scene in the car and the things the man did to Amber. Lilly now knew that was what Amber meant and the girl was right. She was not ready. And she hated herself for that as well.

The rest of the day was the same and as Lilly sat on the stool at the surf shack to watch Amber it was the same as school. The small brunette would take and prepare orders with efficiency and give the customer a charming smile as she took their money or acknowledge their attempts at flirtation. When not serving a customer, the girl would stand in front of Lilly and stare at the ocean in the distance with a spacey look in her eyes. Lilly would try to talk to her, but Amber would just smile at her from time to time and make a comment and go back to looking at the ocean. A couple of times Amber would push Lilly's hair behind her ears and tell her she was sweet and pretty and go back to her stares. Lilly had to fight her rising anger at being ignored. She hated being ignored and was not used to it, but she kept her anger under control and would continue to talk to the girl as if she held Amber's complete attention.

The next day at school a different Amber showed up. It was the Amber Lilly enjoyed two days ago. The charming girl who smiled and talked and flirted and charmed people was back. Amber laughed and flirted with Lilly shamelessly and even one time when the girls were walking the hall of the school to lunch, Amber pulled the blonde into the bathroom and then into one of the stalls and kissed her with a fierce passion that left Lilly breathless. After the girls made out for a long time Amber pulled back and giggled and told Lilly she loved her and pulled the girl out of the bathroom and held her hand as they walked to the cafeteria. The Amber Lilly fell in love with was back that day.

It was the same over the next two weeks. One day Amber would be in her own little world and ignore everyone around her and stare off to the distance with the glassy look in her eyes and the next day she would be the happy, flirty, affectionate girl Lilly enjoyed. Sometimes her happy mood would last a couple of days but then the sad girl would come back. Students at the school would whisper and tell each other it was drugs, but Lilly knew that was not the case. Lilly knew it was because of what the girl had to endure at home. The blonde girl got used to it and stayed by Amber's side during her dark periods and during those times, Lilly would just be with her in silence. The weekend Amber brought Natalie to the beach and Lilly would take the girl and watch her while Amber worked. Lilly loved spending time with Natalie and taught her to swim in the ocean and even surf the small waves. Lilly could sense a strain in the relationship between Amber and Natalie and noticed Amber became even more protective of the girl than before, something Natalie did not seem to enjoy since Amber's protection was too much at times. She watched Natalie like a hawk when she could and would scold the girl if she talked to anyone else but Lilly, Jackson, or Rico. Lilly did not pry by questioning Natalie or Amber. She just promised herself to be there for the two girls. During one of Amber's good days, as Lilly called them, the two girls made love for the first time.

It was a Wednesday and Amber was in a terrific mood and flirted and teased Lilly to where it was driving the blonde crazy with desire. As the two girls walked hand and hand to lunch Amber stopped them and kissed Lilly in the hall and ignored the whistles and comments from the other student. Amber pulled back after the quick but passionate kiss.

"Lilly, your mom works, right?" She asked the blonde.

Lilly nodded and looked at Amber with lust and confusion.

"I feel like skipping the rest of school today. Can we go to your house?"

Lilly smiled, "Sure…my mom gets home at five so it would not be a problem."

Amber kissed her again quickly, "Yeah…I have to be back at four anyway to go home. Let's go." Amber grabbed Lilly's hand and the two girls snuck out of school and as Lilly was driving Amber held her hand and ran her fingers over it seductively. Whenever Lilly had to stop at a light or a stop sign, Amber would pull the blonde to her and kiss her passionately and whisper in her ear she loved her. She was driving Lilly crazy with desire. They got to Lilly's house and Amber sat on the couch and Lilly asked her if he wanted to tour of the place. Amber smiled and patted the area next to her and shook her head. "Please…just sit next to me and hold me." Lilly smiled and did just that. As soon as she sat down, Amber twisted her body and straddled Lilly and kissed her and ran her hands through the blonde's hair. Lilly moaned in pleasure and pulled Amber tighter to her. Amber started kissing her neck and nibbling her ear. Lilly squealed in her pleasure and felt her self get more aroused.

"Are you ready, Lilly? Can you handle it now?" Amber asked as she ran her tongue over the blonde's neck. Lilly just moaned her response. "I want you, Lilly…I love you and want to feel you…to taste you…to make love to you." Amber said between licking Lilly's neck.

"Ohhh…yes, Amber…I want you too…love me…I…I love you, baby…Ohhh…please…make love to me." Lilly moaned out her desire. Amber got off the blonde and giggled at Lilly's whimper and looked at her.

"Lilly, take me to your bedroom." She said as she held out her hand. Lilly stood and walked Amber to her room. Amber sat on her bed and did not even look around the room she had never seen. Her eyes were only on Lilly. She looked up and smiled and held her hand up as Lilly started to sit on the bed next to her.

"No…not yet…first…promise me, Lilly, promise to think only of me and my desire and love for you. Do…do not think of anything else. Don't think of the…just think of us…you and me…promise me, love, promise me." Lilly noticed that while Amber was smiling she had tears in her eyes. Lilly enjoyed when Amber called her "Love". It sent a thrilling shiver up her spin every time.

Lilly nodded, "I…I promise, Amber…I promise." Amber wiped her eyes and her smile turned into a grin of lust.

"Undress for me, love, I want to watch you and worship your body. I want to love you and feel your love." Lilly grinned and took her clothes off slowly. She did not do a cheesy strip tease but she took her time and posed her body in ways to enhance the view Amber was getting. Lilly was always comfortable with her body and she had good reason to be. There were other girls in her school prettier than her, but not many had the shape she did and not many could fill out a bikini as Lilly did. Her stomach was flat and tight, her butt was firm and nicely shaped, and her breasts were slightly larger than most girls her age and they were firm and tight and tipped with perfectly shaped light brown nipples. Amber gasped at the girl's body.

"God…you are so beautiful…I'm jealous." Amber pouted teasingly. Lilly giggled and walked over to Amber's waiting arms and straddled her and kissed her deep and passionately. Amber moaned as her hands roamed over the wonderful body and then teased Lilly's hard erect nipples. Lilly gasped in pleasure. She rolled off Amber and lay on her back with one leg pulled up and the other laying flat. Amber smiled in appreciation of the sexy pose.

"Now you…I want to see you." Lilly commanded as she gently pushed Amber off the bed with her foot to stand up.

Amber smiled and removed her clothes and Lilly thought she was lovely. She was smaller than her in everyway. Her body was small and petite but not in an unhealthy way. Her breasts were small but well shaped, slightly upturned and tipped with sexy rose colored nipples. When she turned to tease Lilly, the blonde saw her butt was also small but had a perfect shape and she gasped in desire. Lilly could not wait any longer. She stood and grabbed Amber and they girls kissed and their hands explored each others bodies in desire. Lilly pulled Amber to the bed and gently pushed her down and straddled her and kissed her and both girls whispered words of love as they began to make love for the first time.

Later…much later…Amber had her head on Lilly's chest with her legs snaked around the blonde. Her fingers were tracing the outline of Lilly's right breast. Lilly was on her back with her arms hugging Amber tight. Both girls were breathing hard. Neither one spoke for a long moment. Lilly thought it was the best sex she ever experienced. It was nothing she never did before, with the exception of when Amber rimmed her butt with her tongue (which she found she enjoyed), but nothing else was new to her. It was just that Amber was so full of passion and intensity and desire that made it incredible. She kissed Amber's head.

"Wow…I do not want to be like a cliché…but…wow!"

Amber smiled and kissed the girl's nipple gently, "Yeah…me too…that was wonderful. I forgot how pleasurable sex could be." Amber said not thinking. She really enjoyed Lilly and the love making and got lost in the pleasure and the comfort of the aftermath of the sex.

Lilly stiffened a little and Amber did not seem to notice. She kept her promise to Amber during their love making and only thought of her, but now the image of the girl's uncle using her, raping her, and abusing her came crashing into her mind. Lilly noticed the scattered bruises, some fresh and some almost faded, on her lover's body but ignored them as promised. Now she had images of how those marks got there. She forced herself to hold back her tears as she hugged Amber tighter. She felt Amber's body shake as the small brunette pressed her head tighter to Lilly's breast. She looked down and saw Amber had tears in her eyes. Amber looked up and smiled sadly.

"I'm sorry, Lilly, I'm sorry I cannot go on dates with you. I…I want to so bad. I want to walk the beach with you in the evening and make love to you on the beach at night in front of the pier you love so much. I want to spend the night with you and make love to you in your bed all night. I want to cook dinner for you and enjoy your company for hours and hours. You are so good to me. So kind to me even when I am away and hear the…when my mind wanders…I'm so sorry, Lilly…I'm so sorry…for everything…I…I do love you, Lilly, but I never should have dared you to love me." Amber cried as Lilly whispered it was ok and that she loved the girl as well. Amber smiled at those words and cuddled with the blonde girl even tighter. Lilly wanted to talk to Amber and comfort her and let the girl cry in her arms. Lilly wanted to protect her. The two never discussed what happens to Amber at her home and Lilly never pried. She felt Amber would tell her when the time was right. The two girls ignored it. But Lilly wanted to now. She felt after what they just did and the confessions of love they felt for one another it was time. Lilly felt if Amber could talk about it she could help her.

"Amber, I…I am here for you and I will help you anyway I can. I…I want you to tell me, Amber. I want you to talk to me about it. I want to help you."

Amber kissed Lilly's breast and snuggled closer. "No, Lilly…you don't want to know. I can't tell you, baby. It is cruel and terrible and…and…you won't love me anymore. I can't lose you now anymore than I can lose Natalie. Natalie taught me to love again. I love her as I would a sister. I love her for her innocence and she taught me there is still innocence in the world that has not been corrupted yet. But you, love, have taught me to be _in _love again. You showed me there is kindness in the world I have forgotten was there. I could not have loved again without either of you. One was not enough, baby, I needed both of you to know love again. Please, love, please don't make me tell you. You…you read the journal…you know already so please don't make me speak it aloud. Written down it is like a bad dream now that I have you, but if I say it aloud it becomes too real. Don't make it real, Lilly…please don't make it real." Amber cried and Lilly felt her tears wash over her breast.

"Ok, baby, I will not ask again. Just know I am here for you and I love you and I will not leave you. It…it is just hard sometimes to know about it and what happens and when I think about it…it drives me crazy and I want to…" She was silenced when Amber pressed her fingers to her lips. Amber seductively snaked her body up Lilly's and replaced her finger with her lips. She kissed Lilly gently but in a way Lilly thought was so seductive and full of love for such a small kiss.

"Shhh…no, love, do not think about it anymore. Do not ruin what we have. I just ask you to understand why I have to do it and for who I do it for. Just never think about it again. It will end soon...it will not last forever...I'll be eighteen soon and can escape." Amber pressed her lips against Lilly's again but this time kissed her with passion and allowed her tongue to enter Lilly's welcoming mouth. She kissed her as her fingers gently spread the blonde's willing thighs. Lilly gasped when she felt Amber's finger enter her wet pussy. Amber broke the kiss.

"Make love to me again before we go back, love. Love me and desire me, love." Amber whispered in a seductive voice. Lilly and Amber made love again and again before she had to drive Amber back to the school to go home. If Lilly had any doubts about her love for Amber they were erased from her mind the glorious afternoon when she made love to Amber for the first and last time. Lilly never asked Amber again about what happened to her in her home. She later regretted that she never did, because if she did she would have understood she was dealing with something beyond her help. Lying in bed with Amber, Lilly was hypnotized by the Goth girl and her love for her blinded her for what was to come in the following weeks. Lilly Truscott thought she truly knew how love felt for the first time in her life when Amber wrapped her body around hers after they made love several times that afternoon.

Lilly was sitting on her bed already dressed as she watched Amber put on her clothes and giggled. She got dressed quickly in her plaid Capri pants and polo shirt but it too Amber a little longer to put on her skirt, white thigh highs, and a blouse with a number of complicated buttons. Amber gave her a teasing look and smiled.

"Glad to see I amuse you. It you did not dress…"

"Boyish?" Lilly said with a laugh and Amber blushed. She had forgotten she described the girl's dress like that in her journal.

"Just because I said boyish does not mean I don't like it. It reminds me of someone." Amber said as she hooked her bra.

"Samantha? Who…who was she?" Lilly dared to ask. She saw the named mentioned in the journal several times almost in reverence and knew the girl was dead.

Amber looked at Lilly and frowned as she pulled on her blouse. "She was someone I cared about very much. Don't be jealous of a ghost, Lilly, it does not become you." Amber said in a stern voice. Lilly turned red and looked at her sneakers.

"I…sorry…I just want to know you more. For you to talk to me about your past. Your mom and dad and brother. You friends in Seattle. I…I was not jealous."

"What is there to talk about. My mom was beautiful and sweet and kind and a lady of the highest class. My dad was strong, loving, handsome, and wonderful. My brother was one of a kind. He was protective to where it drove me crazy, handsome beyond belief to where all my girl friends were in love with him, and he was full of honor and duty which got him killed. My best friend was…she was awesome and she loved me beyond belief. And Samantha was wonderful and I loved her very much and she was stolen from me twice. Once by another girl and the next time by a bullet in the brain. So what's to explain. They are all dead and gone. That is my life in Seattle, Lilly! End of story! Leave the dead alone, Lilly! Do not be jealous of someone lost to me!" Amber was almost screaming by the time she finished.

Lilly stared at her and smiled. "See…know I know a little more about you." Lilly gave the girl a teasing smile. Amber laughed and jumped into Lilly's arms and kissed her.

"I'm sorry…I need to trust again and it is hard. Please be patient with me."

Lilly grinned and kissed Amber back quickly, "I am…hell any other girl I could not get into my bed after two days I would have kicked to the curb."

Amber got off Lilly and laughed, "I knew you were a terrible, terrible person! Well…was I worth the wait?" She said with a wink as she buttoned her blouse.

Lilly faked a yawn, "Yeah…but another few days and I would have let it go." Amber grinned as she brought her left leg up behind her to slip on the strap of her high heel shoe.

"Ohhh…you are awful!"

Lilly stood and walked over to her and wrapped her arms around her from behind and whispered in her ear, "I would have waited for this afternoon for years, Amber. It was incredible." She heard Amber moan and Lilly gently bit the girl's ear and was rewarded by a slight whimper of pleasure as Amber pressed her butt against Lilly's pelvis.

"Stop…I am getting horny again and we have to go." Amber said and it came out in a pleading voice. Lilly let her go and turned her around and kissed her quickly and then released her.

On the way back to the school the two girls held hands and kept mostly silent as both thought of that wonderful afternoon. As they approached the school Lilly broke the silence.

"So, baby, where are you going when you turn eighteen? Back to Seattle?"

Amber brought Lilly's hand to her lips and kissed it, "No…Seattle is dead to me now. I have nothing there anymore. I was thinking about someplace sandy. I am growing fond of the beach." Lilly smiled but she knew it was a lie. She knew as well as Amber did; she knew Amber would never leave Natalie alone in that house. Lilly knew Amber would allow herself to be abused to protect Natalie. Lilly frowned when Amber turned her head to look out the window. She knew Amber was thinking the same as her.


	8. Chapter 8

The man took Amber home that evening since a bad thunderstorm came though and the surf shack would be closed and Amber would not have to work. Amber hated the storms that she once found solace in and actually enjoyed. She hated it because that meant she had to go home and not work which meant she could not spend a few precious hours with Lilly. Amber thought of the afternoon she spent in the girl's bed and smiled in her bliss. She learned to be in love again and it felt wonderful. As she entered the house the man mentioned he was going to shower while Amber was to cook dinner. Amber simply replied yes sir and went into the kitchen. When she walked into the kitchen she saw the woman was standing next to the stove gripping Natalie's small arm and the girl crying out it hurt. Amber looked around quickly and saw a broken glass on the floor and split juice. On the stove was a pot of boiling water and the woman was trying to force Natalie's hand to the pot. Fear gripped Amber and she thought quickly. The Goth girl saw the large pitcher of juice on the counter and tapped it. It fell to the floor in a crash and broke on the hard tiles. The woman let go of Natalie and turned to Amber.

"You clumsy, bitch! That pitcher was a gift from my mother when I got married!" The woman screamed at her and then turned to her daughter. "Go to your room. You don't get dinner tonight!" Natalie squeaked out a yes m'am and looked at Amber when her mother turned to face the older girl again. Amber winked at her and nodded. Natalie smiled sadly and ran to her room.

"You stupid, cunt! That pitcher cost a lot of money and had a lot of meaning to me! You are going to get punished! It was a fucking wedding gift from my mother!"

Amber, still giddy from her afternoon with Lilly and in her need to protect Natalie felt rare courage rise up in her, "Yeah I am sure it meant so much to you…being a wedding gift and all. Such a remembrance of such a wonderful day that you married such a terrific person as…" She fell to her knees with a painful whimper as the woman slapped her face hard. Amber often thought it odd that such a thin fail drugged out drunk could be so strong. The woman kicked her in the stomach and Amber felt her breath leave her body. She gasped and coughed and tried to beg the woman not to hit her, but no words came from her mouth. The woman smiled at her cruelly and started rubbing Amber's head in the juice and broken glass on the floor. Some of the glass cut Amber's face. They were not deep cuts, more like small scratches, but they stung and drew blood. The women then pulled Amber by her hair to her feet.

"Get up, bitch!" She yelled and took Amber to a chair and forced her to sit. The woman walked behind the girl and Amber felt her finger's caress her check almost seductively. Amber tried to stop her tears as the woman talked to her. Amber could smell the gin on her breath as she leaned close and whispered in her ear.

"Do you know why I despise you? Why I hate you?" She asked and Amber shook her head unable to talk. If she opened her mouth she would start crying and she did not want to the woman to see her fear. "When the courts contacted us about you I begged my husband not to take you in. I begged him not to try and get custody of you and allow those people in Seattle to keep you. I was happy we were going to lose the court case." She ran her fingers on Amber's bloody check again in a loving caress, "But then, you stupid cunt, you decided you wanted to live with us! Why I don't know, but you did!" The woman grabbed Amber's hair and pulled it back hard and Amber cried out in pain. As the woman pulled her hair she brought her fingers close to Amber's eyes and Amber oddly thought at first how much she hated the obvious fake do it your self finger nails and thought the woman could have at least gone to a professional to get them done and then her fear retuned as the woman pressed those long sharp nails to her cheek.

"God I hate your eyes! So much like you fucking mother's eyes! She always thought they were so perfect and special. I hated them! Maybe I should scratch your eyes out like I always wanted to do to hers." Amber closed her eyes and begged the woman not to. The woman laughed and pushed Amber's head down on the table hard enough for Amber to see stars.

"Stupid bitch, now you are scared huh? I hate you because you remind me so much of your mother…" She pulled Amber's head back up by her hair, "You look just like her and I hate you like I hated her." The woman brought her lips to Amber's ear seductively and whispered, "They used to visit us often…did you know that…way before you were born and your brat brother was only about two. My husband and your arrogant father were close at one time. Until your whore of a mother tried to fuck my husband and then claimed her tried to rape her when your father caught them. You mother was a whore just like you!" She let go of Amber's hair and caressed her face again, spreading the blood from the scratches over the girl's cheeks.

"My…my mother was not a whore…you husband…he did try to…" Amber's head was snapped back as the woman slapped her again and she cried out.

"Shut up, cunt! I am talking not you! You mother was a whore and so are you. I know you seduced my husband and he fucks you almost every night! I know you whore yourself to him!" She slapped Amber again and this time Amber could taste her own blood as it trickled from her top lip. "Do not deny it! I know you seduced him like your whore of a mother tried to! God I hated her…so fucking superior acting like she was a fucking saint. Just like you! But I see through both of you…I see you for what you are…a low class slut!"

Amber wanted to scream at this woman to defend her mother, but she was to afraid and her eyes followed the woman as she took the pot of still boiling water from the stove top and placed it on the table in front of her. Amber's eyes grew wide in fear as she looked at the boiling hot water and the steam rising out of the pot. Amber started silently begging a God she no longer believed in not to let happen what she knew was going to happen. The woman moved behind her and caressed her arm. "Oh…how I hated that woman…and how I hate you. Then my hate grew and grew…do you know why, slut? It grew because my own daughter…my own flesh…loves you more than she ever loved me!" Amber's head fell forward after the woman slapped the back of her head. Amber felt the woman kneel beside her. The girl was too afraid to take her eyes off the pot. She felt the woman caress her hand almost lovingly.

"Have you ever seen boiling water take the skin off a tomato or an apple? I wander if it would take the skin off a person? Would the skin just peel away or would it melt away. I always wanted to know."

"Nooo! Please…ohhh…noooo! I…please don't!" Amber could not take it any longer and screamed and begged the woman not to, but the woman just laughed and grabbed her arm and brought the girl's hand to the pot. Amber tired to fight it but she was not strong enough. She begged and pleaded with tears running down her face as her hand got closer and closer to the boiling water.

Natalie lay in her bed crying softly as she heard Amber crying out on occasion and listening to the voice of her mother yell at the girl calling her names. The eight year old could not understand all of the words as they were muffled by the distance and her door, but she knew Amber was getting hurt. She cried as she heard the familiar slaps of a hand on flesh. She started to cry harder as she heard Amber start to beg and plead for her mother to stop doing whatever she was doing. Natalie let out her own scream of pain and put her hands over her ears when she heard Amber let out a scream of such pain and agony it hurt the little girl's ears and broke her heart. Natalie then heard her father yelling at her mother and her mother calling Amber words her "sister" told her ladies should never use and all the while she could hear Amber whimpering and crying in her pain. Natalie cried as she never had before, even when her mother painfully punished her. She cried and prayed to God for Amber to be alright and she prayed for the first time for her mommy and daddy to die.

Amber lay in her bed later that night and her left hand throbbed in dull pain. The man came running into the kitchen and made the woman take her hand from the pot of boiling water. He yelled at her and told her she was stupid since a wound like that would scar the girl and someone would start to ask questions. The woman screamed back at him and told him her was just protecting his whore. The man took Amber into the living room and got his doctor bag and put medicine on her hand and dressed her wound. He then gave her a painful shot in her hand to ease the pain telling her he did not think it would scar but could only be sure in a few days. He then warned her not to tell anyone what happened or the next time he would let his wife do the same again but this time push her head into the water. Amber cried and promised she would not. As she went to her room the man laughed, "I told you everyone has a breaking point and you are close to yours." Amber was crying quietly as she heard her door crack open.

"Oh…please…please not tonight…I…I will…I will beg for it tomorrow and show you how I can love you…but please, I beg you…not tonight." Amber whimpered a plea to the man.

"Ams…Ammer…it's me." Amber heard the sweet innocent voice of Natalie. She sat up in her bed.

"Little peep, you should go back to bed. You mommy may get mad." Amber said as she wiped her eyes. She did not want the girl to know she was crying.

Natalie ignored her and crawled into her bed. She gently took Amber's bandaged hand and kissed it, "Ohhh, Ams, your poor hand," Even the girl's gentle grip caused Amber's hand pain but she did not flinch or wince and allowed the girl to take it and bring it to her sweet little lips, "I…I…I am sorry…I am so sorry. P…please don't love me anymore. Please…I…I don't want you to love me and then you can leave." Natalie was crying. "Please, Ammer…run away. Don't love me and run away." The girl begged and cried and Amber used her good hand to brush the girl's long blonde hair over her ears and out of her face.

"Hush, baby, don't cry. It…it is not bad and your father said it may not scar. I…I am not going anywhere. And I am not going to stop loving you. I will always love you. Now you should go back to bed before…before your father comes in here."

Natalie wiped her eyes, "He…he is asleep. He took one of mommy's pills and fell asleep and she took extra medicine tonight to sleep. She does that when they fight. Ams…I don't want you to love me…I…I hate you! I hate you and want you to leave and never see you again!" The girl said quietly and with fake hate. Amber grinned and hugged the girl, being careful with her hand.

"Oh no, little peep, it does not work that way. When I love someone I love them forever. And when I am their best friend I am their best friend for life. And I love you even more for your worry of me." She kissed the girl on her neck and blew a strawberry causing Natalie to giggle.

"I…I did not mean it…I don't hate you. I love you…I love you more than anything. I was just sad you got hurt because of me."

"I know, baby, I know. So do you want to sleep with me tonight since your mom and dad are out of it?"

Natalie looked confused, "Out of what?" Amber laughed and hugged the girl again loving her innocence.

"Just meaning they were sleeping and won't wake up. So…I guess you want a story since I have not told you one in a while."

Natalie smiled and nodded, "Yes…I…I thought you did not love me anymore until tonight when you broke that pitcher. I knew then you still loved me. Ams, I am sorry. And…and you poor beautiful face…its all scratched up." Natalie said as she caught the sight of Amber's face from the light in the hall.

"Oh…nothing serious…they will be ok in a few days. Now go shut the door and I will tell you any story you want." Natalie got up and ran and shut the door and ran back in the bed. She got under the covers as Amber lifted them. The girl snuggled close to Amber and Amber put her arm around her.

"So…what story do you want to hear?"

"My favorite one!" The girl said.

Amber chuckled, "Now how come that does not surprise me…Once upon a time I was only five years old and it was my first day of kindergarten. I was a small girl…smaller than you…and scared. I never been away from my mommy and found myself in a room full of boys and girls I did not know. I made my way to the desk the teacher told me to sit at clutching my Snow White lunch box…I used to be so in love with Snow White when suddenly…boom…a fell to the floor and heard a boy laughing at me. He was a boy much bigger than me had mean red eyes and teeth like a wolf. He glared down at me with those cruel eyes and I thought he was going to eat me! 'Give me your lunch box!' He said in a scratchy ugly voice that hurt my ears. I was so scared. I was too scared to move. He snatched my lunch box from my little sweet delicate hands with perfectly manicured finger nails with his big ugly hairy paws and laughed. It was an evil laugh like a wild hyena. A just lay on the floor shaking I was so scared. And suddenly the room lit up in a bright light as the sun rays shown through the window and I glanced up and saw the most beautiful girl I had ever seen in my life. She had long straight silky black hair, beautiful brown eyes, a face the angels in heaven would be jealous of, and she was so tall and strong looking as the sun rays seemed to make her glow like a Greek goddess. She was so lovely and beautiful and frightening in her beauty at the same time. I fell in love completely with that lovely girl right then, even if I was afraid of her strength and power that flowed from her wonderful body in a golden light..."

"The lovely Ran!" Natalie squealed in delight.

"The lovely Ran," Amber repeated with a smile and felt Natalie wiggle closer to her, "'Leave her alone!' The lovely Ran commanded and the room shook with her voice…the voice of the goddess Venus herself. Well the boy thought he was so tough and he thought he could combat a goddess. 'Who says?' he said in a toad like croak. He took one step forward and the lovely Ran held out her hand and a ray of blue light shot through the air and opened a big hole in the floor and the boy fell down the hole never to be seen again. I trembled in fear of this beautiful goddess looking down at me, but she smiled and I thought I would never see such a lovely smile in my life again. She then held out her hand and I shook in fear and love at the same time as I took it and she lifted me to my feet. 'My name is Hu-Ran Isuel…I liked to be called Ran through.' She said in a lovely musical voice. 'I-I-I am A-A-Amber S-St. C-C-Clair' I stuttered out, still afraid of this beautiful goddess in front of me. She put her arm around me gently and suddenly all my fears were gone and they were replaced by the most incredible feeling of love. 'He won't brother you anymore. No one will brother you when I am around. You and I are best friends for life from now on'. She said in a gentle voice and walked me to my desk her eyes daring anyone to bother me again. That was how I met the lovely Ran; my protector and my best friend."

"Yaaay!" Amber giggled, "I love her too. I am glad she was your friend. And I am glad you like Lilly now. She is very sweet."

Amber smiled fondly, "Me to, little peep, me to. Ran was the best. And yeah, I like Lilly a lot now." Amber thought of the blissful afternoon in Lilly's bed and smiled. She was glad she did not hear the voices today. I_ just hope she can survive me and not get hurt, _she thought. "Now lets get some sleep…you must be tired."

"One more…please one more." Natalie begged.

"Ok…one more…which will this one be. About how Ran saved me from the evil mutant cheerleaders one day in gym class or the time she rescued me from the horrible zombie boys in junior high…which one, baby."

"Umm…I want to hear one about Samantha."

"Samantha? You never want to hear one about her. I did not think you like her much."

Natalie pressed harder against Amber, "Well…if you loved her as much as you tell me, she must have been a good person. Tell me story about her."

Amber smiled, "Ok…I will tell you about Samantha...a story that is funny and how she used to take care of me when I was sick or scared and you will see she was a wonderful person as well. Did you know she used to have her own show on the internet? It was a silly show she did with the ugly witch Carly. Well, I used to watch the silly show just to see Samantha. She was so beautiful and had the prettiest long curly blonde hair you ever saw. Almost like yours, but longer." Amber paused and stared at the ceiling for a few seconds in thought with a pretty smile on her lips, "God, I loved her so much. Anyway…one time her and I went camping. Now, I am not very much of an outdoor person. I much prefer the city than the woods. Well she made me go and I was miserable. One time we were hiking and…" Amber told Natalie about her camping trip and more about Samantha. By the time she was done, Natalie was asleep and Amber had tears in her eyes. As Natalie found comfort in the breathing of Natalie when she felt her hair being brushed back from her face; Amber opened her eyes and smiled as the White Lady caressed her face and smiled kindly down at her. Amber knew she was pleased with the story of Samantha as well.

Lilly was waiting in front of the school the next day for Amber. She was hoping the good day Amber would show up and not the dark Amber. But she knew regardless of which one came to school that morning, she was in love. Lilly went to sleep the previous night thinking about her afternoon with Amber and felt incredible. The passion the girl had consumed her and she wanted more. Lilly frowned when she thought of the dream through. It started perfect with her and Amber kissing and starting to make love and then her uncle showed up and threw her off Amber and started to rape the girl. Lilly tried to help her but she could not move. Lilly forced the image from her mind and hoped she could keep buried. She thought Amber was right, it was hard not to think of it and make love to the girl. She smiled when she saw the black BMW pull up and then sadly frowned when she saw Amber get out of the car. Her eyes had the glassy far away look in them. Then her sadness turned to anger when she saw the scratches on her girlfriend's face, her slightly swollen upper lip, and the bandage on her left hand. Amber saw her and smiled weakly…almost as if she was just smiling to a polite comment she barley heard. Lilly walked to her and put on a bright fake smile.

"Hey, baby…ummm…what happened to your hand and face." She asked in a calm tone and took Amber's books from her good hand. She learned not to show too much emotion during Amber dark periods or the girl would ignore her the rest of the day.

Amber looked at her and shrugged, "Oh…just burnt it on some hot water…I am such a klutz…and I know I look terrible but Natalie got this new kitten and it is a little mean and scratched me." Amber said nonchalantly and continued to walk into the school.

Lilly's smile left her lips as she followed Amber. Amber suddenly stopped and turned to Lilly. Lilly saw her blink hard and a sad look came over her face. She then lifted her good hand to Lilly's face and caressed her cheek and brushed back her hair. "I'm sorry, love, I am so sorry. I wanted to be good for you today. I wanted to make love to you again today." She kissed Lilly gently to just allow her lips to brush the blonde's then her eyes got glassy again.

Lilly wanted to cry for her girlfriend's pain. "It's ok, Amber, come on…I'll walk you to class."

The rest of the week was the same as the last; Amber had her good days and her dark days. Lilly loved Amber's good days and enjoyed her girl friend's company and the times when a very passionate, affectionate, and seductive Amber would drag her to a secluded spot at school and make out with her or when she would take her break at work and the girls would kiss and talk, mostly about Lilly since Amber was still very closed off about her life before she moved to Malibu. Lilly would tell her stories of growing up and Miley and Amber would listen just to hear that sexy slightly whiney voice. Lilly would giggle and appreciate Amber's ability to flirt with the customers and her while at work and thought the girl must have been really something to admire before she moved to Malibu. But Lilly discovered it was Amber's dark days when she loved the girl the most. She did not know why, but when Amber would get that far away look in her eyes, rarely talk, and walk around almost in a daze; Lilly felt her love for Amber deeper than it ever. There was no passion to Amber then and no laughing and no long talks and no surprise make out sessions, but for some reason Lilly felt a deeper love for the girl during that time. She would walk with Amber in the school hallways when she could, sit with her at lunch and just stare at the lovely brunette, or sit at the stool at Rico's and watch and admire the grace and beauty of the Goth girl she loved. She no longer got mad or hurt feelings when Amber ignored her and she cherished the times when Amber would briefly snap put of her dark time and caress her face and lightly brush her lips against hers; calling her "love" and telling her she was sorry and loved her very much. Lilly did not know if it was the pity or the fear she had for Amber during those times; but whatever it was she knew she was in love and had not felt that way about anyone before.

Thursday was a good day for Amber and even while her hand was still bandaged and the burn still showed there would be very little scarring if any and her face healed with no permanent marks. Lilly was walking next to her and the girls were laughing and giggling at each others flirtations when once again Amber pulled Lilly in a corner of the hall and kissed her.

"Lilly, take me to your bed and make love to me. I want to feel you, to taste you, to love you." Amber said wrapping her arms around the blonde seductively and kissed her neck and lifted one of her legs and wrapped it around the other girl as she pushed her against the wall.

Lilly moaned in pleasure and desire and all she could do is whimper out a yes as the Goth girl left her breathless from passion. Lilly drove them to her house as Amber held her hand and kissed it and licked it in a tempting manner as a seductive smile played on her lips. When the girls got to Lilly's house they both rushed into the bed room striping their clothes and touching and kissing the entire way. By the time they made it to the room, Amber was already naked and she jumped on the bed to watch Lilly remove her bra and panties. As Lilly removed her bra she stared at Amber with lust and desire as the Goth girl traced her fingers over her own breasts and down her stomach while she started at Lilly's body. Once naked Lilly walked to the bed and Amber met her half way and pressed her body to her naked lover and kissed her deep and passionate as the blonde groaned and both girls fell on the bed. Amber lay on her back as Lilly fell on top of her and she wrapped her legs around the blonde and kissed her nipples. Lilly let out a gasp of pleasure as her hand spread the Goth's legs and she entered the wetness between her legs. Amber let out a sharp gasp and Lilly knew it was not pleasure but one of pain. She quickly removed her finger and lifted her head.

"I…I'm sorry…I did not mean to hurt you." Lilly said as Amber continued to kiss her neck trying to drag the girl back down on top of her.

"Shhh…please make love to me, love, it will go away. Please, baby, I need you." Amber said as she continued to kiss Lilly's neck. Lilly moaned at the wonderful sensation but she pushed Amber away gently.

"Why…why did it hurt, Amber?" She asked and got the answer she feared.

"Shhh…don't worry about it…you promised you would not think about it when we are together like this."

Lilly rolled off Amber and sat on the edge of the bed, "How can I not think about it, Amber. It…I know why it hurt and why you are sore! I can see the bruises on you wonderful body! I can see the marks! And your hand…I know you did not burn it on hot water! I…I…it is always with me, baby, it is always running through my mind when we kiss, when we make love, and when I think about you alone in my bed. I know what he does and it hurts me…and…I cannot help but think about it!" Lilly yelled as tears came to her blue gray eyes. She was not angry at Amber, but she was heart broken about what was happening to the girl she loved and the thoughts of someone else having sex with her and raping her crushed her. She put her head in her hands and wept.

Amber got on the bed on her knees and pressed her naked body against Lilly from behind and wrapped her arms around the blonde, "Shhh…its ok, love…its ok…shhh…please, baby, please don't cry. I…I knew you were not ready yet…shhh, love, I…I should not have done this to you." Lilly touched Amber's arms and caressed them as she cried.

"No…I…I'm sorry Amber…I can't. I want to so bad…but I can't. I want to make love to you and feel you wrapped around me…but I can't right now, baby…I'm sorry." Lilly felt Amber pull her back down on the bed and she went willingly. She turned to face Amber and the Goth girl wrapped her legs around her and pressed against her hard. Amber pushed her hair away from her face and brushed her lips to hers. Lilly saw Amber had a few tears running down her cheeks.

"Shhh…its ok, love…we don't have to. Just hold me, Lilly, just hold me, love." Lilly wrapped her arms around Amber and both girls pressed themselves to each other harder. Lilly felt Amber snuggle her head against her neck and the Goth girl's arms wrap around her. Amber whispered into Lilly's ear.

"Just don't leave me, love…promise you will never leave me…I am so sorry I came into your life, my sweet Lilly, I am so sorry…but it's to late now…I cannot leave you and I cannot stand if you left me…promise me, Lilly…never leave me, my love…never leave me." Amber cried into the blonde's neck.

"I won't, Amber, I will never leave you…I love you, baby, and I will stay with you forever."

Amber pulled her head away from Lilly's neck and kissed the other girl on her eyes and cheeks to draw her tears into her mouth. She then smiled sweetly and looked into the pretty blue gray eyes, "Shhh…even I will not ask forever…just while I am here with you, love, they will not let me forever, baby…they are jealous of my love for you." She then placed her head back into Lilly's neck and kissed it gently.

Lilly felt a shiver run down her back at her words and gently pushed Amber back from her, "Who, baby, who is jealous? Does your aunt and uncle know? I thought we hid it well even from Natalie…who, Amber?"

Amber's eyes went glassy for a brief moment and then back to normal. She pressed her fingers against Lilly's lips, "Shhh…not now, love...later…much later." She pulled back from Lilly and lay on her back and used her good hand to entwine her fingers in Lilly's hand. She turned her head and smiled at the blonde, "So, dear Lilly, do you want to know about what I was like before I moved here? I can tell you some things now." Lilly, with fear still gripping her, smiled and lay her head on Amber's chest and put her arms around her lover. She felt Amber stroke her hair, "Yeah, baby, tell me something about you." She learned to ask too many questions and cried quietly in her fear for the girl she loved as Amber told her about her mom and dad before they died.

That afternoon the girls did not make love but just lay in the bed as Amber talked. Amber was careful not to tell Lilly too much and kept her stories related to her mom and dad and brother and Ran when she was younger. She did not tell anything of her life after her parents died. She wanted to tell Lilly everything, but she couldn't as much as she tried and that made her very sad.


	9. Chapter 9

Lilly used to think back and at one time believed it was Miley's return that was the cause of everything falling apart. She thought of those days and how ironic it was that it was the return of her best friend that she loved caused so much sorrow to her. Of course that was when she was looking for anything to blame for something she could not understand.

The rest of the week after her and Amber lay in bed talking were good days for Amber. Her girlfriend was flirty, affectionate, and attentive to her the rest of the week and Lilly was looking forward to spending time with Amber and Natalie on Saturday at the beach. Amber was only scheduled to work half a day Saturday and not at all Sunday, but told her uncle she was going to work until seven that Saturday evening and all day Sunday. Lilly worried a little about how the girl would explain the hours worked on her paycheck, but Amber told her not to worry about it and she would think of something. Her uncle took her money from her job as he did from her monthly allowance from the money she got due to her parents and brother's life insurance. What he did not know about were her tips and Amber kept that money. Amber had saved a lot of money from the generous tips she received and Lilly was going to drive Amber and Natalie shopping for some new clothes for the young girl on Sunday. Lilly adored the girl and loved spending time with her and even brought the child a pair of board shorts to surf in and was going to surprise her with it Saturday when she took her out if the waves were not to rough. Lilly smiled and thought that Natalie was actually getting very good and could handle higher waves, but Amber worried too much and made her promise to be careful. Lilly was also getting excited because Miley was due back later the next week and she was very anxious to see her friend again and tell her about Amber. Lilly would break the news to Miley before she introduced the two girls. The blonde girl decided not to tell Miley about Amber's journal or what the girl endured at her home, but she was going to tell her friend about what Jake did. She decided this because Miley was her best friend and deserved to know what a jerk she was dating. If Miley did not believe her it was her problem. Lilly would also have to deal with Miley's strange jealousy she always seemed to have when the blonde dated someone, but she would handle it and not let it get in the way of her and Amber's relationship. Lilly was expecting to have a great weekend regardless of which Amber showed up. If Amber was in her dark mood, Lilly would just make the best of it and enjoy Natalie's company. The one thing Lilly wished she could change was her inability to make love to Amber again.

She felt terrible she could not enjoy the petite brunette's body again like she did weeks ago and even if Amber said nothing and told her it was fine, Lilly knew it hurt her girlfriend. But she tried…she tried so hard to get those terrible images from her mind but she could not. Every time Amber kissed her and asked her to make love to her, Lilly would think about what the girl endured at the lusts of her uncle. She hated herself for it, but she could not erase it from her mind. Amber kissed her less and less over the next few days and ever since that day when the two girls lay in the bed naked and Lilly listened to Amber talk. It was not Lilly did not desire Amber, she did very much, but every time something got started Lilly would imagine those terrible thoughts and pull back. Amber told her it was fine, but Lilly could tell it hurt the girl and she was getting frustrated as well. Lilly hoped soon she would be able too enjoy making love to the girl or at least pretend for Amber's sake. Lilly truly loved Amber and it surprised her she fell in love so quickly and Lilly did desire Amber sexually, more than she ever desired anyone sexually. She found Amber oozed sex appeal and was a very sexual person in almost every thing she did, from the sound of her voice, the way she flirted, the way she moved, the way she kissed, to the simple everyday things like eating, painting her well manicured nails, sitting, and walking. It was not anything Amber had to try and do or work at; it was just the way she was. Lilly would get aroused when Amber kissed her and moved her body seductively against her, but then those terrible images would flash in the blonde's mind and she would lose her sexual desire.

Late Saturday morning Amber was fixing a couple of hot dogs for a young couple and idly thought how someone could eat something like this. Amber had her rare moments of trying to be a vegetarian or eating healthy, but they never lasted long. She liked to eat and enjoyed good food but to eat something like this hot dog was awful. As she prepared the hot dogs she moved her body to the beat of the radio and was enjoying herself. She was having a great day so far and Lilly was at the beach front with Natalie and she would join them in a few hours when she got off work. She was looking forward to spending the day with Lilly and Natalie on the beach, as long as she stayed out of the sun for the most part. Her alabaster skin did not do well in the sun, but she brought good sunscreen from Rico and smiled at the thought of Lilly rubbing it on her body. She was already wearing a one piece bathing suit she purchased from Rico as well. Over the suit she wore a simple white blouse unbuttoned. She liked the suit and thought it was cute and the crimson suit would look good with her skin tone. She knew a few bruises her uncle and aunt had given her showed, but the worse ones would be covered up by the suit; which was why Amber selected a one piece. Her hand was healing well but was still red and he skin was a little raw so she still wore a bandage on it. Amber smiled as she danced a little to "Hey Baby" by No Doubt and turned to see an extremely cute girl with long brown hair standing next to her customers. The girl smiled at her and Amber thought it was a very pretty smile. Amber gave the couple their hot dogs and drinks, took their money, gave them their change, and giggled flirtatiously when the young man gave her a nice tip and his girlfriend hit him on the shoulder and told him to keep his eyes to his self. Amber winked at the young man and got a murderous glare from the girl. She giggled again as she turned to the cute girl.

The girl was tall and very attractive. She looked about seventeen or eighteen and Amber loved her long curly brown hair. She had pretty brown eyes and what Amber thought was a lovely body under her short blue cotton shorts and tee shirt, under which Amber could make see she wore a blue bikini top. Her skin looked perfectly tanned. Amber smiled at her.

"May I help you?"

The girl smiled back and again Amber thought it was a great smile. "Popular aren't you?" She said kindly and Amber blushed. The girl was staring at her eyes. Amber noticed her accent right off. It reminder her of her mothers accent. Her mother's was softer and more subtle, but Amber knew a southern accent when she heard it. She liked it.

"I have my good days…what may I get you?" Amber said just as kindly and with a charming smile.

"Well I was waiting for Jackson…is he here?" The girl shook her head and looked around.

"Umm…well…no…ummm…I don't know where he is. I mean…he is working today and umm…maybe he is on a break?" Amber stammered. Jackson left a few moments to go flirt with a pretty but obvious air headed blonde and she did not want to get him in trouble with another girl.

The girl laughed at her and stuck out her hand, "I'm his sister Miley…Miley Stewart…nice to meet you."

Amber slowly stuck her hand out, "Amber." and she turned and muttered she would check in the back to see if Jackson was there even through she new he wasn't. Amber made her way to the back stock room and sat on a box and started rubbing her head. "Please…not now. Please go away. Don't do this to me right now. I was having a good day. Please go away. You promised you would give me this day." She pleaded aloud as she massaged her temples and started to cry.

Miley Stewart came home early from shooting her movie as Hannah Montana and wanted to surprise Lilly. She made her way to Rico's to ask Jackson what area of the beach Lilly was on since the girl was not answering her cell phone. She waited for the very pretty petite brunette to finish with her two customers before asking for her brother. She watched the small girl as she moved her body to the music and danced a little and as the girl flirted with the young man which made his girlfriend jealous. The girl wore heavy black mascara and eye shadow and dark crimson lipstick, but Miley figured to each her own and somehow it fit the girl. She did seem out of place in a beach world filled with tan beach girls. Miley found it refreshing. Miley chuckled softly as the new girl ignored the glares from the girlfriend and even winked at the man. Miley admired the girl for her nerve. When the girl came to her end of the counter, Miley felt almost hypnotized by the girl's brilliant green eyes. The something strange happened. Miley introduced herself and the girl's eyes went all glassy looking and she muttered her name and something about finding Jackson and left to go in the back. Luckily Jackson appeared and went behind the counter.

"Hey, where's Amber?" He asked his sister.

Miley shrugged, "That weird girl? Hell she just disappeared in the back after I introduced myself. What's her deal? She was all sweet and nice and then got freaky on me."

Jackson glared at his sister, "What the fuck did you do, Miley? Did you insult her?" Jackson had gotten used to Amber's mood swings and knew the girl could be easily upset at times and then other times nothing in the world could bother her. He liked Amber and did not want his sister to be a bitch to her. Which he knew was going to happen when Miley found out Lilly and Amber were dating.

"Fuck you, Jackson! I only said hello to her. God…what kind of freaks are Rico hiring now. First you and then…" Miley shut up when she saw Amber walk from the back. She blushed because she knew Amber heard her call her a freak. Amber ignored her and took an order from two young boys.

"What do you want, Miley?" Jackson asked sternly.

Miley smiled a fake tight smile, "Just wanted to know where Lilly was…she's not answering her cell, oh stupid brother of mine."

"I think she is surfing with Natalie…they should be at her…"

"Who the hell is Natalie? And I know her surf spot. I know all of Lilly's spots on the beach. So who the hell is Natalie?" Miley demanded and Amber glanced at her as she picked up the jealous tone in the girl's voice. Amber was very familiar with that tone. She used it hundreds of times on Samantha when her one time girlfriend would mention Carly Shay.

Jackson laughed, "Oh….just the sweetest, prettiest blonde girl you ever saw."

"Go fuck yourself, Jackson." Miley stormed off and Amber's eyes followed her. She could not help but think the girl was very pretty and had a gorgeous body as she watched Miley's butt swing back and forth as she stomped to the ocean.

Jackson looked at Amber and saw that the girl's mood changed. People thought Jackson was not too bright and he would admit he was not book smart, but her knew people and he always picked up on Amber when she changed moods. He walked to her and put her arm around her shoulder. "Don't worry, Amber, they are just friends." Amber gave him a weak smile and nodded. _Yeah…friends…I told you the same thing. Remember, Amber. I told you we were just friends_. _Lilly has a history with that girl…remember that and remember what I did to you…how it hurt you_. Amber shook her head hard to get the unwanted voice from her mind.

Lilly sat on her towel and waved to Natalie and smiled. The girl was walking up the beach with Oliver after the two caught a small wave. Natalie was giggling at something Oliver said as she struggled to carry Lilly's small surf board. Lilly was glad she brought the one she had when she was little for Natalie to use and the new board shorts looked so cute on her and fit her perfectly. As Lilly watched Natalie giggling and talking to Oliver, she felt a sudden rush of affection for the girl. Lilly was starting to think of her as a little sister, something she always wanted. Miley was as close or closer than a sister to the blonde, but Miley was her own age and she liked looking after the little girl. Lilly admired the girl's tan she picked up with all the weekends she spent at the beach and knew Natalie was going to be a real heartbreaking when she got older. Lilly always thought the girl was cute, but once she had friends like her and Amber and Oliver the little girl crawled from her shell and overcame her shyness and her beauty seemed to bloom with her personality. Lilly suddenly jumped when she felt a pair of hands grab her shoulders.

"Got you!" Lilly jumped up and squealed in delight. She knew that voice and accent.

"Miley! Oh…Miley! I missed you, baby!" Lilly jumped into Miley's arms and hugged her best friend tight. Miley hugged her back hard.

"Lilly…I can't breath…let me go." Miley laughed and got hugged tighter.

"To bad…and no…I want to hug you forever!"

"I would not mind…if you let me breath." Miley laughed and Lilly let go and took a step back.

"I thought you weren't coming back until next week."

Miley grinned, "Yeah, we finished early and I got home yesterday afternoon."

Lilly frowned and sat down on the towel. "Yesterday afternoon? And you just forgot to call your best friend in the entire world? And you…you ruined your surprise welcome home party I planned." Lilly sat cross legged on the towel, crossed her arms over her chest, and stuck her bottom lip out as she pouted.

Miley giggled and thought the blonde looked so adorable. Miley sat down next to her friend and placed her arm around Lilly and pulled her close. Lilly put her head on Miley's shoulder and caught the scent of Miley's shampoo and thought how much she missed her friend and that smell. "Lilly…I really am sorry and I was going to call you, but Jake showed up…dad told him I was coming home early…and he wanted to spend some time alone with me and hid my cell phone when I told him I wanted to call you."

"Jake is an asshole!" Lilly said with venom in her voice and threw Miley's arm off her shoulder. Miley chuckled.

"Yeah he can be…he tried to get me to have sex with him last night again and I keep telling him I am not read yet…so…well…I did something else. But what can I do…I love him."

Lilly turned her body to face Miley and took her hands in hers, "Miles, I love you…you know that. But I hate that prick and…and he is just not good for you!"

"Jealous much are we, Truscott?" Miley said with a smile.

Lilly let go of Miley's hands and scooted away, "Of him…please…I just can't stand him for good reasons. And I am not jealous of anyone you date. You know that. We tried it, Miley, and it did not work."

Miley frowned, "Yeah…but it was not my idea to end it…it was yours if I remember correctly."

Lilly laughed, "On no…don't blame me. You told me you were just curious and then you wanted to date Jake…I did not end it…you did."

Miley smiled shyly, "Well…it was complicated and it was your fault, silly girl. You were growing bored with me so I ended it before you did. Now…who the hell is Natalie?"

Lilly laughed harder and held her stomach and rolled on her back, "Talk about being jealous!" Lilly sat back up after a few moments as Miley glared at her. The blonde cleared her throat, "Well…Natalie is one of the most beautiful and charming girls I have ever met. As a matter of fact, here she comes now with Oliver." Lilly pointed over Miley's shoulder. Miley turned and saw Oliver walking up to them with a very pretty blonde girl who looked to be about even or eight. Miley turned back to Lilly and grinned.

"Bitch." Miley called Lilly and Lilly laughed and fell into Miley's arms.

"I missed you too, Miles! I missed you so much!"

"Miley! About time you get your fine self back home!" Oliver yelled as her approached the two girls. Miley pulled away from Lilly, kissed her cheek, and stood up to let Oliver hug her. Lilly looked at Natalie and saw the girl give Miley a confused look and then Natalie ran to her and hugged her.

"Did you see me, Lilly? I did real good! I only fell once and I was not scared at all. Oliver fell off twice and I only fell once." Natalie shouted excitedly to Lilly as Miley and Oliver broke their hug. Oliver looked at Natalie and smiled.

"Yeah but my wave was bigger…Shit…I almost had that damn wave too!"

"Oliver! Watch your language around Natalie!" Lilly shouted

Natalie giggled, "It's ok, Lilly…that was not as bad as the words he said on the water and when he fell. I know not to say them."

Oliver avoided Lilly's cold stare and stuck his tongue out at Natalie, "Tattle tell!" Natalie giggled again.

"Can we go again, Lilly? Surfing is so much fun!"

Lilly pulled Natalie close to her and hugged her again, "Why don't we wait until Amber comes down. You are tired and need to rest some…and I am sure she would love to see you surf."

Natalie frowned, "Awww…dude…I want to go again." Lilly and Oliver laughed.

"Dude? Well you are certainly getting the language down. You are going to make a terrific surfer chic." Lilly said, "But let's rest a while and I'll put some sunscreen on you. Now turn around." Natalie smiled at the thought of becoming a true surfer chic like Lilly and the compliment made her relax and do as Lilly asked. She looked up at Miley.

"Are you a friend of Amber's and Lilly's?"

Miley sat on another beach towel and smiled at the girl, "Well I am Lilly's friend but I don't think I know Amber…wait…umm…you mean the new girl at Rico's? I met her briefly today."

Natalie smiled, "Yeah…she's my sister…kind of…and my best friend in the whole wide world!" She stated proudly. "And she is Lilly's friend too."

Miley gave Lilly a curious look and Lilly blushed. She needed to tell Miley she was dating Amber before the Goth girl got off work and joined them. It could make things awkward. "Oliver…why don't you take Natalie to get a snow cone at Rico's while I talk to Miley." Oliver nodded. He understood why Lilly wanted Natalie to not be around. Natalie jumped up excitedly with the thought of a snow cone.

When Oliver and the boy got about twenty feet Miley looked at Lilly, "She is adorable…so I you need to tell me something?"

Lilly nodded, "Yeah…well…Amber is kind of Natalie's step sister. She lives with her aunt and uncle and Natalie is their daughter. And…Miley, please don't mention them…Natalie's mom and dad…it is not…well…it is not a very happy loving family in their home. Let's just leave it at that. And…I…well…I am dating Amber."

Miley's eyes grew wide, "What? That freaky girl at Rico's? I…she is not your type Lilly! Sure she is pretty…very pretty…but the Goth look is not your type. I know your type and it is not her."

Lilly frowned. She expected this from Miley. "Miles…please…I…well…I love her, Miles…I mean I really _love_ her."

Miley looked at Lilly for a long while and smiled, "You really do huh? Well you never said that to me…in that way…or about anyone you dated including Oliver. I…well…I'll be nice. I promise." Lilly squealed and half crawled and half jumped into Miley's arms. "Oh, Miley, you are the best! I love you and you will like her. I promise you! She is very sweet and kind and…funny and sexy and…she is great!"

Miley laughed, "Damn…you do love her huh?" Lilly blushed and nodded.

"But…well…she has a hard time with her home life…sometimes she well…she phases out so to speak. But she is still great. And thank you for promising to be nice to her; it means a lot to me."

"Anything for you, Lilly, you are my best friend and I love you. I would do anything for you."

Lilly frowned, "Anything?" Miley nodded, "Well…if you will do anything for me let me spend the night tonight. We need to talk about something. It's about…well…we need to talk ok?"

Miley gave her a curious look and wanted to ask what it was about but she knew Lilly better than anyone and knew her blonde friend would not tell her until tonight. "Sure, Lills, tonight would be great. A good excuse not to go out with Jake."

The girls talked a while and Miley told Lilly about her movie and Lilly filled Miley in on what was going on at school. Lilly was laughing very hard at a story Miley told that happened to her on the set of her movie when Oliver and Natalie came back and Natalie sat down next to Lilly with a sad look on her face.

"What's wrong, Natalie? Did Oliver not buy you a snow cone?" She grinned at Oliver and noticed the look on his face. She heard Natalie mutter she did not want a snow cone anymore and Lilly got worried.

"What is it? Is Amber ok? Has something happened?"

Natalie snuggled close to Lilly and put her arms around the blonde girl. "Amber's sick again, Lilly."

Lilly hugged Natalie tight, "Its ok, baby, she'll be fine…she always is. Maybe…maybe she will be better after she sees you surf. Sometimes she snaps out of it."

"I doubt it…now she is not going to let me surf because she is gets to protective and bossy with me when she gets sick." Natalie pouted.

Lilly smiled sadly, "I'll make sure you surf again today….I promise."

Natalie nodded but still pouted, "Lilly…why does she get sick like that? Is it because of the things mommy and daddy do to her?"

Lilly glanced at Miley who was giving her a strange look and then she hugged Natalie tighter, "Say, Natalie, lets go for a walk and go see her and see if we can cheer her up and wait for her until she gets off work. She gets off in a little while anyway." Natalie nodded and took Lilly's hand when the blonde girl stood up and offered hers. When they walked several yards Lilly stopped, got to her knees, and faced the girl, "Natalie…remember what Amber told you about secrets…don't tell anyone about them. You have to be careful what you say around people…ok." Natalie nodded

"Yeah…it just slipped out because I am sad for Amber…and you know…I know you know about them."

Lilly smiled, "And how do you know I know, silly girl?"

Natalie smiled, "Because of the way you take care of Ams when she gets sick. You never ask her what is wrong and you make sure she is ok…I just know you know how mommy and daddy hurt her and how mommy punishes me sometimes…I just know. We love you, Lilly…and Amber tells me she loves you very much. And…you help her when she gets sick…I love you so much for that."

Lilly hugged the girl, "I love the two of you also. You are a very smart girl, Natalie, very smart. But lets keep this between us. Amber knows I know but we do not talk about it and you should not either. I never told anyone…it is yours and Amber's secret."

Natalie smiled, "Ok…now let's go see if we can make Amber better and happy today. I am just having too much fun for her to be sick and she had been talking about spending the day with you today and tomorrow all the time. She would not shut up about it." Natalie rolled her eyes and Lilly laughed. She felt warm inside when Natalie told her that.

Miley looked at Oliver, "What the hell was that about? Amber being sick and what Natalie said about what her mommy and daddy does to her?"

Oliver looked at his feet, "Well…Amber has these mood swings and she gets a little spacey sometimes…nothing serious."

Miley gave him a hard look, "Mood swings…she doesn't get violent does she? I mean she doesn't hurt Lilly does she?"

Oliver chuckled, "God, Miley, you know Lilly…would she let anyone hurt her? And no, Amber would not hurt a fly. I used to think she was weird and all…but she is actually very sweet. She's a good girl, Miley, and very good to Lilly. She loves Lilly…a lot."

Miley sighed, feeling jealous Lilly loved someone else. "Ok…but…well…what does her aunt and uncle do to her?"

Oliver got very uncomfortable, "I…I can't say. You need to ask Lilly…I promised I would not say anything but I will tell you it is not fucking pleasant."

Miley did not press the issue and took off her tee shirt and shorts to get some sun. Oliver looked at her and smiled. "You know, Miles, you have a great body…if you ever get tired of Jake, let me know."

Miley laughed, "Just because Lilly and you stopped screwing does mean I am going to jump in the bed with you."

Oliver laughed and lay on his towel, "Well you would enjoy it…trust me."

Miley turned her head and gave the boy a seductive look, "Yeah Lilly said you were good in the sack…but she said I was better."

Oliver laughed again, "Welcome home, Miley…we missed you, girl! Lilly was going nuts without you."

Miley put on her sunglasses and smiled at that comment.

Lilly and Natalie walked hand and hand to the surf shack and both stopped and stared for a while when they saw Amber behind the counter. The small brunette was dancing to a song Lilly recognized by Evanescence "Sweet Sacrifice" while she served three teenage boys. Lilly did not care for that kind of music but she knew Amber liked it. Lilly liked more pop type songs or hip hop while Amber got into Evanescence, Flyleaf, and older music like the Ramones, The Clash, and Blondie. The Goth girl absolutely loved No Doubt and teased Lilly she would dump her in a flash to be with Gwen Stefani. Lilly tried to listen to that music while she down loaded the music into her Ipod for Amber to listen to but did not enjoy it much. Lilly smiled when she saw how Amber flirted with them and even seductively caressed the cheek of one of the cute boys after he told her something she could not hear. Lilly love to watch Amber flirt, and thought her girlfriend she was a pro. She was not a jealous person at all and enjoyed the scene. The blonde and the small girl exchanged curious looks and Natalie giggled at Amber's mood and ran to the shack shouting Amber's name. Amber looked up and smiled when she saw Natalie and blew Lilly a kiss. _Well…I guess she did snap out of it_, Lilly thought and walked to greet her girlfriend.

Amber hugged the girl tight and kissed her cheek and smiled when Lilly sat on one of the stools. "I like the suit, Amber…you look nice…very nice." Amber smiled and twirled modeled the swimming suit for her. Lilly chuckled and enjoyed the view.

"Me too…but I hope I don't burn today. Umm…Lilly…I need to ask you a favor."

"Anything, sweetie."

"There is a box in the back I need you to help me get. It's too high for me to reach and Jackson won't get it for me." Amber gave Jackson a pouty look. Jackson looked at her with a clueless stare.

Lilly smiled, "Sure, baby." He blonde moved around the counter and into the back storage room. Amber looked at Natalie, "I should go help her. Don't leave and let Jackson fix you something to eat. You must be starving."

Natalie smiled, "Yup…Jackson…can I have a hot dog?"

Amber looked over her shoulder, "Jackson, she wants some chicken fingers. She is not eating one of those horrible things."

"Awww…dude…I want a hot dog." Natalie pouted and Amber looked at her and raised her right eyebrow, "Well you get chicken fingers and I am not a dude…I am a young lady and so are you. God, I need to talk to Lilly about the things she is teaching you besides surfing." Amber winked at the girl who giggled.

"Yeah…she said I am going to be a surfer chic. I would like that." Amber rolled her eyes and shook her head in mock sadness and walked to the storage room to find Lilly waiting for her.

"Which box…and sorry about the dude thing…she picked it up."

Amber giggled, "Silly girl, there is not box and I don't care about the dude comment…it was cute. But I wanted to do this." Amber walked closer and put her arms around Lilly and kissed her. It did not take Lilly long to respond and she soon found herself with her back pinned against the wall and Amber pressing herself hard against her grinding her pelvis to hers. Lilly moaned as Amber's lips moved to her neck and she grabbed Amber's butt and pulled her even closer. Lilly then felt Amber's hand push her bikini top down and gasped in pleasure as the Goth's girls crimson lipstick lips took one of her nipples and sucked it into her mouth hard.

"Ohhh…fuck…Amber…please…we can't not here…ohhhhh shit! Not that…you know it drives me crazy!" Lilly had to bit her lip hard to prevent herself from screaming out as Amber ignored her and pulled her bikini bottom aside and placed a finger in her wet pussy. Lilly was always amazed how aroused she got so quickly with her new girlfriend.

"Shhh…just let me, love, please…you don't have to do anything to me…just let me taste you." Amber whispered in the blonde's ear and Lilly grabbed the dark hair of her lover and pushed it back to her breasts. She bit down harder on her lip and squeaked out a moan as Amber's finger expertly found her clit.

"Please, love, let me…let me please you and satisfy you." Amber said as she made her way to her knees and kissed down Lilly's breasts, stomach, and inner thighs. She pulled down Lilly's bikini bottoms and used her fingers to spread the girl's wet pussy apart. Lilly gasped and squealed in her pleasure as Amber touched her. She looked down and saw Amber's head go between her thighs and she let out a moan of pleasure she could not muffle. Lilly squirmed, squealed, and moaned in pleasure as Amber's talented and expert tongue and fingers gave her so much pleasure. Lilly fell against the wall as her legs shook. It took less than ten minutes for Lilly to moan out she was going to come and she held Amber's head tight as her body shook in orgasm. When she was done, Amber stood back up and kissed Lilly passionately and the blonde licked her girlfriend's lips to taste herself. After Amber broke the kiss she stepped back and looked at Lilly sadly.

"Lilly, I love you, dear, I love you so much…but never fake it with me again. That hurts worse than when you don't want to make love to me at all."

"I…I don't know what you mean…it was…I…" Lilly looked at Amber's face, "How did you know?"

Amber smiled seductively, "Lilly love, the day we spent that wonderful afternoon in your bed making love I memorized every move, moan, and taste of your pleasure…some things I don't forget."

"I'm sorry, baby…I was just worried someone would walk in and see us." Lilly said looking at her feet.

Amber smiled weakly, "Don't lie to me twice, Lilly…the first when you faked it and now. I know why." Amber picked up her shirt she took off while performing oral sex on Lilly and walked to the door.

"Amber…please…it is not that I don't want you or desire you…and it did feel incredible…I…it…was not you…you are…" Amber, who had walked back to Lilly when she started talking, kissed the girl to stop her from talking. After she broke the kiss she looked at Lilly's still exposed breasts, "Damn you are so beautiful." She then wrapped her arms around the girl's neck and smiled as she looked up at her girlfriend.

"Love, of course it felt good…there are some things I suck at…like anything sporty and if I ran to the beach from here I would probably trip and fall at least once…" She kissed Lilly quickly again, "But one of the things I am fantastic at is making love. So yes I know it was not me." Amber released herself from Lilly and walked to the door and opened it. She turned as she put on a pair of large black framed, dark lenses, Jackie Onassis sunglasses that Lilly thought looked perfect on her. "Hurry up…I have been looking forward to this day all week…to spend time with you…even if I am angry at you let's try not to spoil it." Amber walked out the door and Lilly fixed her bikini top and pulled her bottoms back up. Even if she was sad about Amber being angry and felt terrible she could not enjoy her girlfriend's lustful pleasures she smiled as she thought of Amber. She never had a girl talk to her the way Amber did…so full of passion and romance; even in her anger. Lilly loved it.

The two girls walked back to the beach front with Natalie walking between holding both of their hands and chatting away. Lilly would glance at Amber and try to get her attention. When Amber finally looked her way, the blonde mouthed "I love you" and Amber just smiled tightly. Lilly knew she was still mad but thought at least she was having one of her good days. She did not know why Amber slipped into her dark mood for a while and she did not question it. She was happy and knew Amber would soon forgive her. When they saw Miley and Oliver lying in the sun Natalie took off running to her surf board that was standing up in the sand. Amber smiled and moved closer to Lilly and took her hand. Lilly grinned.

"Still mad at me?" Lilly asked.

Amber smiled wider, "Oh…I'm pissed…but I still love you. So…umm…where's your umbrella? Please tell me you brought it."

Lilly laughed, "Yes, baby, I just have not set it up yet. They rest of us don't get effected by the sun like a vampire as you do. Some of us actually enjoy it."

Amber giggled, "Well I love the sun…it just hates me and my skin…which you know you love and lust…" Amber stopped in mid sentence. She did not finish the thought since Lilly did not seem to lust after her.

Lilly stopped, turned Amber to face her, and kissed her passionately. "I do lust after you…please believe that. I want you so damn bad all the time…just give me time, Amber…please give me time." Amber smiled and touched her face. "Sure, baby…now lets go meet your friend Miley officially."

Lilly introduced Amber to Miley and Amber apologized to the brown haired girl about earlier and freaking out. Miley told her it was ok and apologized for acting like a bitch herself. Lilly did pick up that the two girls were being very polite to one another…too polite as if it was faked, which Lilly knew it was. Amber sat under the umbrella while everyone enjoyed sunning themselves. Miley frowned when Lilly moved herself under the umbrella next to Amber and turned her eyes when her friend started holding the petite brunette's hand.

"Ams…can I go surfing now? It's been a while since I ate…please…please!" Natalie started begging. Amber told her she could not go into the water until thirty minutes after she ate; to which Lilly told her that was on old wives tell. Lilly quickly shut up after Amber gave her a harsh look. It was not going into the water after eating that bothered Amber. It was the fact she did not really want Natalie surfing.

Lilly squeezed Amber's hand gently, "Let her go, baby, she is really good and Oliver wants to go back in anyway. You'll see. She knows what she is doing and he'll only let her catch a small wave. She loves it."

Amber sighed, "Ok, Natalie…but please be careful." Natalie squealed in pleasure and grabbed her board. Soon her and Oliver were paddling out in the ocean. Amber stared at her. "Don't you think that's far enough, Lilly?" Lilly looked up and smiled.

"Hell no…they need to get out further than that." She grinned and Miley rolled her eyes.

"God, Amber…stop worrying. Lilly is one of the best surfers around here and Oliver comes a close second. Plus Lilly's a trained lifeguard. Give it a rest and let the girl have fun." Miley said with a smile.

Amber glared at Miley but said nothing. She was too concerned about Natalie to worry about Miley. She would fix that problem soon.

"Miley…chill out. Amber's not used to surfing and doesn't know how it works." Lilly defended her girlfriend and got a kiss on the cheek for her comment.

"God…you two are pathetic…I need something to drink." Miley got up and walked toward Rico's.

"She doesn't like me, huh?" Amber asked Lilly.

"Well…she is a little jealous that I am spending time with you and not her today. Amber, she is my best friend and I love her…like a friend. Don't ask me to take sides. I won't do that."

Amber grinned, "Well as long as you don't take her side then. I can handle the rest. But seriously…I want her to like me and I want to like her. She's your friend and that means I want to get along with her."

Lilly leaned over and kissed Amber, "I love you for that."

"Just that?"

Lilly giggled and lay back on her back, "Yeah that and a million other reasons."

"Even when I go dark and gloomy, you still love me." Amber asked seriously.

"Always, baby…always." She felt Amber squeeze her hand quickly and smiled.

After a few moments of silence Amber asked Lilly why Natalie and Oliver were still just sitting on their boards.

Lilly looked up at the ocean, "Oh…they are waiting for the right wave. Natalie wants to show off for you and sometimes you have to wait for a long time for the right wave. Hell, I waited all day sometimes."

Amber frowned, "Surfing sounds silly and boring." Lilly laughed.

Miley came back soon with a drink for all three of them, "Piece offering, Amber. I did not mean to be a bitch. Jet lag and all." Amber took a sip and frowned at the coke. She did not like coke but drank it anyway to be polite.

"So how's Jackson faring without me? Is he busy?" Amber asked to make conversation.

Miley laughed, "Jackson busy? He is never busy. He is a lazy jerk who cares just about trying to get into the pants of every girl he meets. But he never has much luck with woman."

Amber frowned. She thought it was odd how Jackson and Miley talked to one another. She never would have talked about her brother that way. She idolized Patrick and he never would have talked to her the way Jackson talked to Miley. He spoiled her and took care of her. She thought maybe if they were closer to one another's age like Miley and Jackson it would have been different. She hoped not.

"I don't know. He seems nice and he is cute. Plenty of girls would date him I am sure if he was just more serious."

"Gross!" Both Miley and Lilly said together and laughed. Amber blushed. "Sorry Amber. He is my brother and I can't see him that way. I am sure you would feel the same if you had one. I mean…sisters don't like their brothers much. I love him but…" Miley got quite as she saw the look on Amber and Lilly's faces. "What? What did I do this time?"

Lilly was about to say something but Amber squeezed her hand and shook her head. "My…my brother was killed in Afghanastan early last summer. He was in the marines." Miley noticed Amber said the last part with pride.

Miley looked horrified, "Oh…damn…my big mouth! I am so sorry, Amber. I…damn I am fucking stupid!" Amber smiled at the sincerity in Miley's voice. "What…what was he like if you don't mind me asking?"

"It's ok, Miley...and I don't mind. He was…well…wonderful. He was a great guy and so unlike me. He was athletic, brave and very handsome. I have a picture of him in my wallet." Amber grabbed her wallet and pulled out a photograph of her brother while he was in Afghanastan and handed it to Miley. "It was taken about three months before he got killed. I…I actually got the picture when I got the letter from his commanding officer."

Miley looked at the picture and saw a very handsome well built young man wearing his camouflage trousers and shirtless. He had a rifle slung around his shoulder and Miley could see a tattoo on his right breast. "God…he is gorgeous! I mean…damn Amber…he could be in the movies he is so hot!" She handed the picture to Lilly. She looked at it and agreed with Miley. Amber showed her the picture the day they talked in her bed.

"Yeah…I had a lot of girl friends coming to the house when he was home just to get a look at him without his shirt. He was a great guy.!

Amber opened Lilly's beach bag after the girls grew silent and pulled out Lilly's Ipod and ear plugs. She then pulled out a Vogue magazine Lilly brought her this morning. She gave Lilly a smile that read I love you as she noticed Lilly downloaded some of the songs she likes in her Ipod. Lilly winked back at her. Amber suddenly laughed and gave Lilly a curious look.

"Hannah Montana! I cannot believe you have Hannah Montana in here. Please tell me you downloaded it for Natalie." Amber saw Lilly give Miley a strange look and then Miley was staring at her.

"You don't like Hannah Montana, Amber?" Miley asked.

Amber shrugged, "Well…maybe if I was about ten…umm…nope not even then. God that is all Natalie listens to and I get sick of it. That and all those posters of the girl in her room. She adores Hannah Montana."

"Well you know, her new stuff is more grown up and you may like it." Miley said harshly.

Amber grinned at her, "I don't think so. Lilly, let me know when Natalie does start surfing and please watch her." And she put on the ear plugs, took off her sunglasses, put on her stylish reading glasses, and opened the magazine. Miley gave Lilly a sharp look that Lilly read to say "Thanks for coming to my defense". Lilly sighed and realized this was going to be harder than she thought and hoped she could find something the girls had in common. She gave Miley a look of apology and turned her head to watch Natalie. Miley huffed loudly and turned on her stomach. Lilly knew she was very angry with her.

After about twenty minutes; during which Amber complained on being bored, the bugs flying around, jumping up screaming when she saw a small fiddle crab crawl over her towel, and the heat; a group of four boys came by and started flirting with the girls. All three girls flirted back and then grew bored with the boys and Lilly started chatting with Miley and Amber put her head phones back on and read her magazines. The boys took the hint and left. Soon after Lilly tapped Amber's arm and the girl looked at her and took off her ear phones. Lilly told her Natalie caught a wave and pointed to the ocean. Natalie put her magazine down and replaced her eye glasses with her sunglasses and looked out to the water. She saw Natalie paddled a little and then stand up on her board as she caught the wave. Amber's hand found Lilly's thigh and gripped it hard.

"It's ok, baby, she's fine. It's a small wave and she road bigger dozen's of times." Lilly said calmly and Miley turned to watch as well.

"Lilly…I'm scared…it looks dangerous." Amber whispered and held Lilly's leg tighter. Lilly smiled and whispered it was ok. After about another fifteen seconds Lilly felt Amber's nails dig into her thigh.

"Lilly…make her stop…please…make her come back in." Amber said in a scared tone and stared into the ocean. Lilly moved closer to her girlfriend and put her arm around her.

"Shhh…trust me and her, baby, she is doing great. She is very good and can swim like a mermaid. She is a natural out there."

"Ok…but it scares me." Amber sighed in relief as Natalie rode the wave to the finish and was soon on the shore. She was jumping up and down and waving her hands excitingly. Amber smiled and waved back. She turned to Lilly.

"She did great…now make her come in. She'll listen to you." Lilly smiled at her.

"Oh let her have her fun. She loves it and Oliver will take care of her."

Amber picked her magazine back up and turned the pages roughly. "Well if she drowns I'll never forgive you!" She said angrily. Lilly chuckled but Miley had enough.

"God, Amber…don't be such a fucking princess! Lilly knows what she is doing and taught her well and Oliver would never let her get hurt. Give it a fucking rest!" Miley got up before Amber or Lilly could say anything and stormed off. Lilly jumped up and ran after her.

"Miley…wait!" Lilly screamed as Amber looked on with a hateful glare in her eyes.

Miley stopped and turned around. Lilly stopped when she saw her best friend was crying. "What…what the hell do you want?" Miley said.

"Miley…what's wrong? Why…why are you being this way?"

Miley's jaw dropped and she wiped her eyes, "Oh….fuck you, Lilly! How…how can you ask me that? I have not seen you in fucking months and when I do all you want to do is cater to that…that freaky prissy bitch! You did not even defend me when she trashed Hannah Montana! I'm not stupid, Lilly, I know my fan base is full of younger girls and my music caters to them…but you did not say anything to defend me! You also know I want to branch out and be more adult in my songs and everything…but my dad want let me. You know all that and you just fucking sat there! You are my best friend and…and you act like I am a stranger today! Hell…at least Jake paid attention to me even if it was for a blow job…but he gave me attention! You have ignored me ever since that…that…girl showed up. Just…just leave me the fuck alone and go back to your Goth princess before she has a melt down about a bug bite or something!" Miley turned and stormed off crying harder and Lilly just stood there feeling guilty. Miley was right, she ignored her to cater to Amber and she felt terrible and as if she was being pulled in two. The blonde walked back to Amber and sat down. Amber put her arm around her and drew her close.

"I'm such a bitch, love, and I am so sorry. I made your day terrible and…and Miley hates me. All I did was complain and whine about everything. I'm sorry, Lilly, but…that is me. Miley is right…I am a princess. I can't help it…I am a spoiled brat and not a strong person. All my life I was taken care of…by my mom and dad, then my brother, then my best friend Ran, and by my girlfriend Samantha. They would tease me…except my mom and dad…but they accepted it and even encouraged it in ways. I am not strong, love, and have always been around strong people to take care of me. I…I did not mean to come between you and Miley. I…I'm so sorry. Maybe…maybe you should spend time with her tomorrow and not take Natalie and me shopping." Amber kissed Lilly's shoulder and lay on the towel with her back turned.

"But…what will you do tomorrow? You don't have to work and you seem to hate the beach…what would you do?" Lilly said as she lay down and spooned her girlfriend.

Amber sighed, "I don't hate the beach, love, I actually like the smell of the salt water and the sounds…it's just I am not an outdoorsy person. And…well…I'll stay home tomorrow I guess…just hang around the house."

Lilly gripped her hard, "No! You are not staying home all day in that house! I...No and that is final! I'll take the two of you shopping and not another word!"

Amber smiled and evil grin Lilly could not see and kissed the blonde's hand. She knew Lilly would not allow her to be home all day in that house. Her smiled soon vanished when Lilly spoke again.

"I'll smooth things over tonight when I spend the night with her…she'll be ok." Amber clenched her jaw tight and then put on her most convincing fake smile and rolled over to face Lilly.

"Oh…ok…I hope she does not hate me and tell her I am sorry for being a spoiled bitchy princess."

Lilly smiled, "You are not spoiled…prissy acting sometimes, but that's ok…I kind of like you being a princess…it's cute. I love you, Amber." Lilly kissed her.

Amber pried herself from Lilly and turned on her stomach, "Please don't tell Miley what you read in my story…about what Natalie's dad does to me…promise me." Lilly promised and Amber put her reading glasses on, and started reading her magazine. She was angry and jealous about Lilly spending the night with Miley, but she knew she had to act calm if her plan was going to work; the plan the voice in her head told her of the only way to keep Lilly for herself and not allow Miley to steal her away from her. Amber saw how the two looked at each other throughout the day and she did not like it. She wondered why they never realized what she saw…or did they?

Lilly turned her attention to Natalie waiting for a wave. After a few minutes she sat up, "Not that one…don't let her get that one, Oliver. She's not ready for one that big." Lilly whispered and saw Oliver waving his hands to Natalie not to catch the large wave. She relaxed and then shot to her feet as she saw Oliver fall and Natalie preparing herself to take the wave. Amber noticed something was wrong and sat up. She looked to the ocean and threw off her ear phones and jumped to her feet.

"Natalie!" Amber screamed as she ran to the beach behind Lilly. The blonde soon out distanced her and both girls saw Natalie ride the wave for four seconds until she fell and the large wave crashed over her. "Nooo! God Please Nooo!" Lilly heard Amber scream and looked back without slowing down. She saw Amber on her knees and turned back to the ocean as she sprinted. Lilly slowed a little as she soon saw the small blonde girl climbing back on her board and padding to the beach. She reached Lilly and saw the girl had a huge grin on her face and hugged her tight.

"Natalie…you scared the hell out of us! I told you never to catch a wave that large!"

"Yes, m'am." Natalie said still grinning. "But…it was awesome!" The girl shouted and Lilly laughed and let go of the girl as Amber came running up. Amber dropped to her knees and grabbed the girl and hugged her tight.

"What were you thinking? You could have gotten yourself killed! Don't ever scare me like that again!"

"Ouch…Ams…I can't breathe. You're holding me too tight." Natalie complained as Oliver made it to the shore.

"Is she ok? I tried to stop her but I fell off my board. God, Amber I am so sorry! I tried to stop her I swear." The boy said as he walked to the girls.

Amber looked over Natalie's shoulder, "I know Oliver…I know…she's fine." Natalie pried herself from Amber's tight hug and turned to Oliver and held her hand up and made a gesture with her fist and fingers that surfers make.

"Oh, man…Shit, I almost rode that damn wave!" She told him with a huge grin on her face. The grin vanished when she heard Amber's voice.

"Natalie Elizabeth! I cannot believe you just said that! I have told you ladies do not talk that way!" She looked at Lilly and Oliver who were laughing hard, "Is this what you two have been teaching her; to curse like a sailor?" Lilly and Oliver sobered up some but Amber could tell they were still laughing as she saw their bodies jerk. She stomped her foot, rolled her eyes, and turned to back to Natalie. "You have earned yourself ten minutes time out, young lady."

"Awww, dude!" Natalie said as she kicked the sand and that caused Lilly and Oliver to lose it. Lilly doubled over holding her stomach laughing while Oliver leaned on her back laughing loudly.

"I swear…I am taking care of three eight year olds and not just one!" Amber said in exasperation and threw her hands in the air. She looked at Natalie and frowned when she saw the girl smiling at her own antics. Amber gently grabbed Natalie's hand and walked up the beach to where they were laying out. Natalie pouted as she let Amber leas her and then her face grew fearful as they stopped and Amber leaned down.

"Little peep, I was so proud of you out there surfing. You were wonderful and perfect and they way you did not get scared when you fell made me very proud of you as well. I was terrified, but you were so brave and you surf so awesome, dude."

Natalie's smiled beamed and she hugged Amber. "I love you, Ams."

"I love you too, baby…but please never scare me like that again."

"Yes, m'am." Natalie said still beaming a smile at having Amber proud of her. She never told Amber the reason she took the big wave was to show her how good she was surfing and she never told Amber how scared she was that day she caught that wave. She did it all to have Amber proud of her and to show Amber she could be brave just like she was when her "sister" did things so her mommy would punish the Goth girl instead of her. Natalie thought Amber was the bravest girl in the world…even braver than the lovely Ran.


	10. Chapter 10

Lilly, Amber, and Natalie spent the rest of the afternoon on the beach while Oliver left to go see if he could meet some girls. When Natalie's time out was over she begged to go back in the water and Lilly took her as Amber watched the girls surf. While Amber did not know much about surfing…actually she knew nothing about surfing except it was done on the ocean and with a board…she thought Natalie was actually pretty good. But it was Lilly who amazed her the most. Her blonde girlfriend was incredible and Amber would appreciate the way Lilly moved as if one with the board. Watching Lilly, Amber felt herself getting aroused. She liked watching her girlfriend doing sport things and used to feel the same when she would watch Samantha ride her skate board. Amber smiled at the thought of her lost love and the incredible sex the two girls had after Amber would go with Sam to the skate park and just sit and watch her for hours. Her smile turned to a frown as she saw Lilly wave at her when the blonde and Natalie were walking toward her. She wanted to make love with Lilly desperately, but her girl friend still could not bring herself to have sex with her. Amber was being patient, but she was also getting very frustrated and a little worried…a lot worried. She knew why Lilly did not want her and she knew Lilly loved her, but the voices told her something different and the voices controlled her now more than her own feelings and thoughts did. The voices were getting cruel in their words. They told her Lilly did not love her and she was going to lose her girlfriend to Miley like Carly stole Sam away and told her Lilly did not desire Amber sexually but wanted Miley. They told her they were ashamed of her and that she was nothing but a whore to allow her uncle to use her like her does. They told her she was breaking a promise she made to be with them again. Amber tired to explain to them she had to protect Natalie, but they did not care and they were cruel in their words. The only voice who was calming and loving was her mother. Her mother told her she was a good girl and understood why she did what she did and loved her still. But her mother came to her less and less and the voice she heard the most was Samantha laughing at her and telling her she was going to lose Lilly to Miley. Amber was not going to let that happen. She knew what to do. Amber was very thankful the voices only came to her once today briefly and left her alone. She smiled at Lilly and waved back to her…_Damn! I am so horny!_ Amber thought as she admired Lilly's body in her wet bikini.

Amber knew Lilly could not get passed what her uncle did to her, and she did not blame her blonde girlfriend for that. But she started to believe the voices when they told her Lilly did not want her because the blonde believed Amber enjoyed and got pleasure from her uncle's rape. Amber would scream at them in her head and tell them it was not true but they would laugh and call her a whore as she write in her journal every night after her uncle left her room. Amber would cry at the cruel words and begged them not to believe she enjoyed what the man did to her, but they would laugh. She would then beg to talk to her mother, but she rarely came to her anymore. The others would not let her. As Lilly stood over her, Amber hoped the girl did not think she got pleasure from being raped. She didn't. When the man raped her, her mind left her body and she felt nothing anymore but the pain and humiliation.

"Hey…you ok, baby?" Lilly asked as she sat on the towel and looked at her girlfriend

Amber smiled, "Yeah…I'm fine…don't give me that look, Lilly…I'm fine, love. The good Amber is still here." Her smile turned to a grin, "And you dripped all over me!"

Lilly laughed and took Amber's hand, "Aww…poor baby, you won't melt, but sorry for getting you wet."

Amber giggled, "You always get me wet…and I just might melt." She glanced at Natalie and saw the girl was building a sand castle. She looked exhausted and Amber knew she was going to sleep well tonight. She turned back to Lilly, "Damn I want to kiss you so bad right now." Lilly smiled and nodded looking at Natalie as well. The two girls were very careful not to show anything but friendship affection around the girl as not to confuse her.

"Do you ever think of the future, Lilly? I mean way in the future. Like marriage, kids, and stuff like that?"

Lilly turned to her with a grin, "Why, Amber, are you proposing to me?" Amber playfully slapped her shoulder.

"No, silly, I am serious…do you?"

Lilly sighed, "Yeah I guess…sometimes I do. But…I love kids, don't get me wrong…but I don't know if I could handle being pregnant. Hell I am only seventeen and worried right now about what college to go to. My mom is pushing it hard."

Amber raised her eyebrow, "Which one?"

Lilly shrugged, "I don't know…anyone I guess. I mean…I have decent grades and a good SAT score to get into a number of schools. I was thinking something close to home…like Moorpark or Santa Monica. I…I don't want to go to far from home."

"Why?"

Lilly looked at her bare feet, "Well…I'm…well I'm scared, Amber. I'm afraid to leave things I know behind and to move somewhere new. I have a life here I am comfortable with and it scares me to have to meet new friends and get used to something different. Plus I love the beach to much to go anywhere more inland." Lilly added with a grin.

Amber nodded, "You should go where you want, Lilly, if it makes you happy go there. But don't be afraid of change and new things, baby. Hell…you were not too scared when you met me. You were rather pushy if I recall." Amber smiled and Lilly chuckled

"Yeah…well I knew from the first time I met you that you wanted me." Amber rolled her eyes, "Seriously…I was just drawn to you and I was kind of scared…but I wanted to get to know you."

"Do you regret it…getting to know me?"

Lilly lay back and rolled to her side to face Amber and caressed her arm. "God no…I do not regret it."

Amber sighed, "You should, love, you really should." She muttered but Lilly heard her and decided to ignore the comment.

"So what about you…do you think of the future…marriage, kids, or college?"

Amber lay back and rolled over to face her girlfriend, "I used to…now I just try to get through the day. But yeah, I used to have dreams…now I just have nightmares." Lilly frowned but decided to continue the conversation. It was not often Amber opened up like this.

"What were your dreams, baby."

"College for one…did you know I was smart at one time, love? I was so smart." Amber said sadly.

"You'll still smart, baby."

Amber chuckled and Lilly knew it was not a humorous one, "No, Lilly, I mean I was fucking brilliant!" Lilly raised her eyebrows at the rare curse word from Amber, but Amber ignored it, "I was so smart and could have gotten into any college in the country. Did you know I had a four point oh in Seattle? Did you know I scored almost a perfect on my SAT's? Hell I missed only two questions. One on verbal and one on math…I even retook the damn think to see which ones I may have missed. I was obsessed with my grades…but that seems like a long time ago when I wanted to go to Berkeley."

Lilly smiled, "You still can, baby." Amber shook her head.

"No, love…that dream is gone. My grades went to hell after Ra…Ran died and I missed so much school…and here I get nothing but incompletes or zeroes in class." Amber said sadly.

Lilly wanted to take the girl in her arms and hold her, but she settled for just touching the girl's arms. "You and Ran were close weren't you? You never talk about her like I do about Miley, but you were close like her and I are. Natalie…well…I swear I never asked her…but she told me some of the stories you told her about Ran." Amber chuckled and reached up and bushed Lilly's still wet hair from her face.

"Well I did exaggerate some on those stories and I know you would never ask her…and I think you for that. I trust you with her now. Yeah…we were very close. I loved her so much. When she was in the hospital for the last time and dying I…I freaked out and begged her priest to kill me instead. I would have died so she would live." Amber rolled over on her back and grinned, "God she was so mad at me for that. She would never have let me die and she would have given her life for me. I…I loved her so much and we were very close." Lilly looked at Amber's face and saw a tear roll down her cheek under her sunglasses. Amber turned her head, "Would you die for Miley, Lilly? And would she die for you? I mean really die for her. If someone had a gun to her head would you beg that person to shoot you so she could live? That is how I felt about Ran and how she felt about me. Neither one of us would have hesitated a second to take the bullet…do you love Miley that much?"

Lilly looked at Amber and wished she could see the girl's eyes. She was starting to get a little frightened at the questions and words Amber was telling her. "I…I never thought about it. I love her and she is my best friend but…yeah…I would put myself in harms way to help her…maybe even die for her. I hope I never have to find out."

Amber smiled, "Me too, love, me too. I know you love her…I think one day you will know you love her more than you and her know right now. I…I don't have a lot of good qualities anymore…I lost the few I had. I have always been weak and very needy and very prissy and girlie. I know how to manipulate others to get something I want…for good or bad, but I had good qualities as well at one time." Amber paused and stared at Natalie playing. She smiled at the girl who was focused on building her sand castle, "I used to be classy and such a lady, love, can you believe that?" Lilly nodded. She thought Amber still was. "I got that from my mother. She taught me that. I…I just wish I had more time with her so she could have taught me more." Amber looked back at Lilly, "God, Lilly, I wish you could have seen her…not just the picture I showed you, but her. The way she just lit up any room she entered was amazing. And she could charm people like no one else I ever saw. She could hypnotize both men and women with her eyes and movements and voice. She was amazing. I used to just sit and watch her and prayed her grace and beauty would rub off on me. She was a truly beautiful woman." Amber paused and Lilly smiled at her to continue. She knew very little of Amber before she moved and she wanted to hear more. Amber continued after a moment, "People tell me all the time when they see her picture that I look like her…even you told me that. Maybe I do, but I could never match her grace and charm and class. I just did not have enough time with her to soak it all in." Amber rolled back over to face Lilly. "Anyway…I used to have some good things about me people liked…but they are gone now." Amber looked over Lilly's shoulder to Natalie playing, "But one thing I have not lost is that I will die for people I love…and kill for them to protect them if need be." Lilly looked at Natalie and the girl looked up and saw the two older girls looking at her and she waved. Lilly waved back while Amber blew her a kiss. Natalie giggled and went back to her sand castle. Lilly turned back to Amber and the girl removed her sunglasses and Lilly smiled weakly at the brilliant green eyes full of life. Amber brushed Lilly's hair back, which was beginning to dry and the wind was blowing it in her face.

"God, I want to kiss you so much…I love you, Lilly Truscott…and for that I am sorry. Thank you for the day you gave me. I will treasure it and thank you for being so kind to me and Natalie. She loves you." Amber put her sunglasses on and rolled on her back.

"I love you to Amber…and I love Natalie as well. I…I…don't be sorry you love me…I have truly never met anyone like you in my life." Lilly did not know what else to say. She was stunned and scared at Amber's words. She did not know what the girl meant completely and that worried her.

Amber giggled, "Yeah…let's hope you never do again, love." She said cheerfully and Lilly chuckled.

"Lilly…I need for you to promise me something…don't worry it is nothing too serious…well not to you but to me it is." Amber turned her head and Lilly saw she was grinning.

"Sure."

"Tomorrow when we go shopping…if…if the good Amber does not show up, make sure you pick out dresses…nice ones…and not any surf clothes I am sure she is going to ask you to get her." Amber giggled, "Or that you would want to pick out for her. I want her to have dresses." Lilly laughed.

"Sure, baby, I will make sure of that…but I am confident…the good Amber will be there." Amber just smiled at her and looked at her watch and sighed, "We only have a few more precious moments left, love, before we have to go. I want to kiss you and make love to you, baby…I know we can't and you won't…I just want you to know that." Amber suddenly jumped to her feet and ran over to Natalie and pushed the girl to the sand and both were giggling and Amber tickled the girl. After a short moment Amber stopped and whispered something to Natalie and the girl grinned and they both looked at Lilly.

"Oh no…no you don't!" Lilly screamed and rolled over on the towel laughing as Natalie jumped on her soon followed by Amber and the two girls tickled Lilly until she begged them to stop.

Soon, too soon Lilly thought, they made their way back to Rico's where they rinsed the sand off them in the beach showers and Amber changed from her swim suit back to the clothes she wore to work that day. Amber's uncle would be there soon to pick the girls up and Lilly gave Natalie a loving long hug.

"Thanks, Lilly…I had a wonderful time." Natalie said sadly.

"No problem, dude." Lilly said and Natalie giggled. Amber rolled her eyes, but smiled. Lilly looked at Amber and mouthed 'I love you" and Amber winked back at her. As the blonde turned and picked up her beach gear she heard Amber call to her.

"God Lilly, don't I get a hug too?" Amber pouted and Lilly smiled. The two girls embraced, "I love you, Amber…never forget that. No matter what I do…I love you." Lilly whispered and Amber kissed her cheek. The Goth girl broke the hug and her and Natalie walked hand in hand to the roadside to wait for the man to arrive. Lilly watched until she saw the black BMW pull up and she sighed. After the car pulled away, Lilly grabbed her cell phone from her bag and called Miley. It picked up after seven rings and Lilly knew her friend was waiting for the last moment to answer the phone.

"And who is this who has Lilly Truscott's phone? I know my former best friend is not calling me since she is spending time with her Punk Princess."

"Miley…please don't." Lilly said

"Why it is Lilly!" Miley said in mock surprise, "What's the matter? Did Miss. Priss get some sand under her finger nails and have to run home and take a shower?"

"Miles…please…come on. I just wondered if I was still spending the night."

"Well I don't know…does Snow White have other plans and can't go out with you?"

Lilly was getting angry now but held her temper in check. "No…Amber cannot really go out and date…it's complicated."

"Awww…poor little Goth Girl has a curfew and not allowed to go out on dates. That is a shame."

"Enough, Miley…you don't understand. Am I spending the night or not?" Lilly said angrily.

"Ummm…let me think…nope! Not! I…I…I'm going out with Jake tonight. B...b…bye, Lilly." Miley hung up. Lilly could tell Miley had been or just started crying

Lilly did not realize until then how mad and upset Miley was at her. She let out a string of curses as she walked up to Miley's house. The Stewarts lived close and on the beach. It took her only ten minutes before she got to the door and she rang the bell. It was soon answered by Miley's dad.

"Hey, Lilly…long time since I saw you." Mr. Stewart answered. Lilly frowned. At one time she got along great with Miley's dad but ever since she and Miley had their relationship the man did not like Lilly. They were very careful to hide it from the man who while did not dislike gay people but sure as hell did not want his daughter being gay. Robbie Ray was very conservative where Miley was concerned. The girls knew he had suspected something besides friendship was going on between them at the time.

"Umm…hey, Mr. Stewart, is ummm…Miley home?"

The man grinned, "Yeah, she's getting ready for her date. Jake is picking her up soon." He said proudly. He liked Jake but of course did not know what the boy made Miley do in the name of love. Or other things about him that Lilly knew.

"Well…may I go see her?"

Robbie Ray opened the door, "Sure…she's in her room. Tell her to leave the door open…so she can hear me when Jake gets here."

"Yes, sir." Lilly found it sad she did not get along with the man anymore. She used to like him a lot. Lilly walked upstairs and knocked on Miley's door.

"Go away…whoever you are…I…I don't feel good and…if Jake is downstairs tell him he is way to early and…and I am not going…I'm sick." Miley called out. Lilly knew all of Miley's moods and voices and she knew Miley was crying and felt a rush of guilt.

"Miles…it's me…please let me in." She asked kindly.

"No…go away! I…I am not talking to you!"

"Miles, open the damn door! I swear I will camp out here all night even if you dad decides to try and kick me out. Now open the fucking door!"

A few seconds later Lilly heard the door unlock but not open. She turned the handle and walked in the room. Miley was laying on her bed a fetal position cuddling with one of her stuffed animals. Her eyes were red and puffy as she looked at Lilly and there were tissues scattered on her bed and floor. She walked into the room closing the door harder than required as if to tell Miley's dad "fuck you".

"What do you want? I'm trying to get ready for Jake."

Lilly laughed, "And five seconds ago you were too sick to go. You heal well…maybe we should give some scientist your blood and they could make a miracle drug or something."

Miley tried not to smile, "Lilly…I'm mad at you so you can't use humor…that's not fair."

Lilly giggled and sat on the edge of the bed and started caressing Miley's back. "Miles, I sorry honey, I really am…I am so glad your back. I missed you so damn much."

Miley turned over and grabbed Lilly's hand, "Really…you did not act like it. That hurt, Lilly…that hurt bad. I…I tried to like her bit she kept getting on my nerves with all that whining and worrying over that little girl. A…and when you ignored me to be with her I got jealous." Miley stuck her lower lip out.

Lilly laughed, "Miley you always get jealous of who I date. I don't understand why…I mean…I don't get jealous over Jake…I just hate him…and I would not be jealous over anyone you would date."

"Lilly…we had something at one time even if it did not work out. Hell…we had sex…a lot of sex…it is just natural to be jealous of an ex lover. Maybe something is wrong with you. Maybe…maybe you didn't care about me like I did you."

"Don't be silly, girl, I loved you then and I love you now…we just aren't built to date one another. We had too many things against us from you being afraid someone would find out to your dad and then you wanting to date Jake. And then there was me…I was crushing on Oliver then and wanted to date him and we just lost that part of each other. I am just very happy we stayed friends. I…I think what we had between us was something very special and made our friendship stronger."

Miley smiled, "Until you started dating prissy bitch Goth chic. What is her deal anyway…she is kind of strange and not your type."

Lilly shrugged, "I know…I never thought she would be my type either. I was intrigued by her for some reason and just wanted to be her friend and then it…well…damn, Miley, she is so hot and so damn sexy…I mean very sexy. Everything she does is sexy to me. And when we kissed…well…I knew then I wanted her and I fell in love with her." Lilly and Miley never felt uncomfortable discussing boys or girls they date with one another.

Miley nodded, "Yeah she is very pretty…I saw that right off…but, Lilly, she is so…well…weird. I mean she worries over that girl Natalie like a mother hen and…ohhh…she is just strange."

Lilly sighed and knew it was time to tell Miley some things…not everything, she promised she would not do that…but some things. "Scoot over, Miles, and I'll tell you."

Miley smiled, "No…you are all sandy and covered in tanning oil…go take a shower first and then you can treat me like your best friend and do whatever I ask you to do to make up for your earlier neglect of me. I'll go fix us some snacks."

Lilly grinned, "Ok…and I did miss you, silly redneck girl."

Miley got off the bed and laughed, "Of course you did…you can't live without me." She was at the door and stopped when she heard Lilly call her.

"Miley…if someone held a gun to my head and told you they would shoot me or you could take the bullet for me to live…would you…would you sacrifice yourself for me?"

Miley smiled and answered without a second thought, "Of course I would, silly…as long as you kicked the shit out of the person who killed me." Miley walked out the door and Lilly smiled.

Later, Lilly was showered and wearing a pair of Miley's pajamas laying next to her best friend in bed. She liked the feel of the silk pajamas on her skin and decided she would keep them. Miley would not care since they were some gift that Hannah Montana got in a gift bag at some event she attended. Miley had a closet full of stuff like that. Both girls were eating popcorn while Lilly told Miley some things about Amber.

"Miley, you know that bandage Amber had on her hand today?"

Miley nodded as she took a swallow of diet coke.

"She got that when she broke a glass pitcher her aunt got as a wedding gift." Miley looked at Lilly.

"So…she cut her hand…what does that have to do…" Lilly held up her hand to stop her.

"Wait…she did not cut her hand. Her aunt was so mad Amber broke that pitcher she place Amber's hand in a pot of boiling water teasing her if the skin would peel off or melt off." Lilly heard the story first hand from Amber the day they were in bed talking. Amber cried as she told her.

Miley's eyes grew wide, "Oh my God…she…fuck…I fell like shit now…does…does that happen a lot? Oliver mentioned something about the home not being pleasant…I thought he meant they were strict or something…damn."

Lilly smiled weakly, "It gets better…well worse. The reason why Amber is such a worrier when it comes to Natalie is because well…when Amber broke that pitcher she did it on purpose. She did it because she walked into the kitchen and saw her aunt was going to put Natalie's hand in the boiling water for spilling a glass of juice. I fucking glass of juice, Miley…that is what she suffers in that house…and that is not even the worse part. That is why she is protective of Natalie. She…she does things to…to make them abuse her so Natalie will not get hurt." Miley hugged Lilly as the blonde started crying.

"Lilly…oh God…Lils…I…I am so sorry…for you and her and that sweet little girl. I…damn I feel like shit. Thanks, a lot…it was better being clueless so I could just dislike the girl with a clear conscience. Why…why doesn't she go to the police or somebody? Hell the school as people just for this."

Lilly shrugged, "Oh I asked that a hundred times until she finally asked me not to bring it up again. She thinks if she does to the police or tells anyone then Natalie would end up in some foster home that would be like her home now or even worse. She may be right…Amber's almost eighteen and she would be on her own soon and of course she could not keep Natalie…so she just tells me she will protect Natalie unto she can think of something better for the girl."

"Damn…I…fuck, Lils, that is awful…you have to make her go to the police. I mean…most of the foster homes are not as bad as that…that can't be…can they?" Lilly shrugged.

"I don't know…I mean…even if they have room for her in one…she could end up in some orphanage or some group home. That could be worse. Remember that benefit concert you did in L.A. to raise money for the state orphanages and foster families? Remember some of the things we saw and what that lady told us about the abuse and rape a lot of those kids suffer in the homes? Remember when she told us it was not just the staff at the homes, but the other children who rape the younger boys and girls because the state does not separate the kids with issues from the other kids because of funding? I mean…I could not stand to see Natalie in one of those homes and something like that happening to her. She is a beautiful girl and they would prey on her. I guess Amber sees that as well…so she…well…Miley, I think she would let them kill her to protect Natalie…hell, sometimes I think they try. I see the bruises on her and…it hurts to think about what she goes through."

Miley put her arm around Lilly, "I'm sorry, baby. You like her a lot huh? I mean you really love her?"

Lilly nodded, "Yeah I do…I did not mean to fall in love with her. At first I just wanted to be her friend and did not even know she was into girls. I kind of hoped she was…she is pretty and sexy…but I just figured I would be a friend because she looked so sad. You know me…I feel sorry for people to much. Then…well she kissed me first and I decided I wanted her…bad. Then I fell in love with her. You are wrong about her not being my type…maybe they Goth look is not, but you know I like the girlie vulnerable type. And she is that…needy, girlie, venerable and stuff. But sometimes she shows strength and she is not a push over. And…well…I like her being girlie and needy. She…well in a lot of ways she reminds me of you."

Miley let go of Lilly, "Me? Please…I am not that bad."

Lilly chucked, "Yes you are…you are very girlie and Miss. Fashion queen. That bathing suit you wore today is new and I know you will never wear it again because you will get new one. Hell, you have clothes in your closet that you have never even worn yet. I would steal a bunch of them, but they are too small for me up top."

"Oh…rub it in that you have bigger and more perfect boobs than me." Miley pouted, "And…just because I like to look nice does not mean I am girlie."

Lilly hugged her, "Yeah you are…it was one of the things I was attracted to about you."

Miley blushed but decided not to probe any further. Miley knew Lilly was right, they had tried and it did not work between them. Miley always wished it did but she had a lot of issues with her dad and the whole Hannah thing and struggled with her own conscience while she and Lilly dated. "Lilly, I promise I will be nice to her and try to get to know her. Hell…I may even like her. I would do anything for you and if she means that much to you…I'll be good."

Lilly pulled back and smiled, "Thanks, Miles…and…well there is one more thing I need to tell you…about Jake."

Miley nodded. "Ok."


	11. Chapter 11

Miley lay in the bed next to her best friend as Lilly told her what Jake did and tried to do to Amber. She told the brown haired girl the details she read in the journal and the encounter in the gym. Lilly had told Miley some of the examples of physical abuse Amber and the child Natalie suffered at the hands of the Goth girl's aunt and uncle, but she kept her promise to Amber and did not mention anything of how the girl's uncle raped her almost nightly. Miley listened to the story of Jake and when Lilly was done she jumped of the bed and started pacing and cursing under her breath. Lilly lay on the bed and listened to Miley curse as her eyes followed the girl pacing back and forth. She could not make out what Miley was saying and she was waiting for her friend to accuse her or Amber of making the story up. Lilly knew Miley loved Jake and would not believe what she was told. Lilly sighed and then held her breath and waited for the yelling to start when Miley stopped her pacing and turned to her.

"That son of a bitch! I knew he saw other girls when I was away…and I did not care…but to do this…he…he raped her! That bastard! I am going to kill the fucker! I swear, Lilly, I am going to kill him! That…that son of a bitch! And…and poor Amber…that poor girl…to…to be subjected to her home life and then this at school…it…it…that poor girl!" Miley was so angry she was almost crying.

Lilly looked at her friend in disbelief, "You…you believe me?" She asked and Miley sat on the bed and put her hand on Lilly's knee.

"Of course I believe you. You never lied to me, Lilly, never. And…well…I know Jake and this sounds just like him. Hell, he does it to me. I mean…I never want to do _that_ to him and he makes me…he gets off on it. That is classic Jake. That fucking prick! He is so dead!"

Lilly smiled, sat up, and rubbed Miley's back. "I took care of it, Miles, he'll never bother her again…I…I just wanted you to know. I did not know he did those things to you also. If I did I would have kicked his ass that day in the gym. Why did you date him, honey, if he did those things to you? Hell…I thought you loved him."

Miley chuckled, "Love him…hell I can't stand when he touches me. I mean…we are friends…or used to be before this…but I never loved him. I just acted like it to make dad…umm…well…never mind that. He is coming here tonight and I can't wait to confront him. I swear I want to kill him!"

"Shhh…don't say that. I could not stand visiting you in jail...to see you locked up would break my heart…I mean, hell Miles, who's clothes and nice silk pajama's would I steal if you got locked up?" Lilly said with a smile.

Miley laughed, "Yeah I knew you loved me just for the clothes. I was going to give you my new bathing suit but the top would be too small for your abnormal sized boobs!"

Lilly laughed and dropped back on the bed, "Hey…you're just jealous I have great breasts! Don't be a hater, Miles!" Miley dropped on her back next to her friend laughing.

The girls discussed various ways to cut off Jake's penis for a while and soon Miley's dad knocked on the door.

"Miles, Jake's here…are you ready yet?"

"Yeah, dad, I am so ready…I'll be down in a sec." Miley turned to Lilly, "Care to watch the show?"

Lilly smiled, "Just don't do anything stupid…but if you castrate him let me cut one of his balls off." Miley laughed as she got off the bed and walked to the door. Lilly followed behind her.

Jake was sitting on the couch laughing at a joke Robby Ray told and Miley cringed. She knew Jakes fake laugh and hated it. He could not even be honest with her dad. Miley cleared her throat and Jake stood and turned and frowned. He was dressed in nice slacks, a designer dress shirt and tie, and a blue blazer.

"Miley, I thought you were ready? Jake said the two of you were going out for a nice dinner." Robby Ray asked as he saw Miley was still dressed in a pair of red shorts and a tee shirt.

Miley ignored her father and walked straight to Jake and slapped his face hard enough to leave a red hand imprint. Everyone stood in shock, including Lilly, except for Miley. She stood in front of the boy with glaring hate in her eyes.

"How dare you! How dare you do that! Doing it to me is one thing…I thought it was normal and expected of me since we were dating, but to do it to a girl who…who…to do it to her like that is rape, you shit! How many other girls did you force to suck your pathetic dick? How many, Jake?" Miley screamed.

"Miley…what the hell are you doing?" Robby Ray asked.

Miley turned to her dad, "Stay out of this, dad! This is between Jake and me!"

Jake grinned his charming smile that girls swooned over and tried to put his arms around Miley, "Miles, honey, what are you talking about? Lets forget dinner and go for a walk on the beach and you can calm down and we'll talk about what you heard."

Miley stepped back, "Don't fucking touch me! Never touch me again! You…you made me suck your prick for the last time! Just leave, Jake…get the fuck out of my house! You make me sick!"

Jake looked at Lilly, "What did she tell you, Miley? What lies did she tell you? Don't believe that cunt, Miles. She is just jealous of us. I love you and she is jealous that you love me. Lilly is a lying lesbian whore and don't…umph!" Jake doubled over in agony as Miley kicked him in the testicles. The brown haired girl then started hitting Jake with her small fists on his back.

"Never…never call her that again! You never call Lilly names like that ever again you son of a bitch! Never again!" Lilly never saw Miley as mad as she was at that moment and she felt a great deal of love for her friend who defended her. Miley was pulled off Jake by Robby Ray and as he picked her up and pulled her away she was kicking out trying to connect her foot with the boy and screaming over and over never to call Lilly names. When her dad put her down she tried to run back to Jake and hit him some more but Lilly ran down and held her friend back and tried to calm her down.

"Shhh…calm down, baby, shhh…he is not worth it." Lilly noticed Miley was crying with anger. She calmed down and wrapped her arms around Lilly.

"No one calls you things like that…no one!" Miley sobbed as she put her head on Lilly's shoulder. The blonde girl stroked her hair and whispered soothing words to her friend.

"Miley…we can talk about this…we_ need_ to talk about this." Jake said as he stood back up, "I…I don't know what lies you were told…but they are not true."

Miley lifted her head and looked around Lilly, "Get out! Get the fuck out of my house! Lilly does not lie to me! She has never lied to me!"

Robby Ray walked over to Jake and grabbed his arm, "You had better leave, son, and if you ever make my daughter do something against her will or touch her again or Lilly; I'll kick your ass!" Robby Ray forcefully escorted Jake from his house. The man shut the door and turned to the girls. "Lilly, you had better leave. I need to talk to Miley alone."

Lilly noticed the tone of the man's voice and nodded. She was surprised and pleased the man stood up for her along with his daughter, "Yes, sir. I'll go get my things." Lilly let go of Miley and started to walk up the stairs when she heard Miley's voice.

"No, dad. Lilly is spending the night with me." Miley turned to her friend, "Lilly, go to my room and I'll be up in a minute. I…I need to talk to my father."

Lilly nodded and went to Miley's room and waited. She never heard Miley use such a forceful tone before.

When Miley and Robby Ray heard the door shut the man broke the silence, "Bud, she should leave…we need to talk about things that concern family."

Miley smiled, "Lilly is family…she is like my sister." The girl sighed, "Daddy…I love you…I love you so damn much. You are a great dad and even have been a friend when I needed one and even a mom when I needed one, but…dad it has to stop. I have done everything you asked of me. I am a good girl, daddy. You don't see Hannah Montana's name in the tabloids telling stories of drug abuse, partying, photos of no underwear, driving drunk, or getting into trouble with the police. As Miley I don't do drugs and only drink on occasion at parties and never drive home even after one small drink. I am a good person, Daddy…you have to trust me. I…I never been with a boy except when Jake made me…well…made me do that one thing. I have done everything you asked of me. I perform the songs you write and don't argue when you won't let me sing the ones I wrote because you think they are inappropriate for someone my age. I do not dance when I perform the way I would like to because you thought it was not appropriate and I never complained. Yeah, I want my music to be more mature and attract an older audience but I…I don't because you don't want me to and I don't say a word. I…I even told Lilly I did not want to date her anymore when you found out her and I were sleeping together…and I made it look as if I wanted to date Jake so she would end it. And…and I was so lucky she wanted to stay my friend. I even dated Jake for you, daddy…not me. I never liked him that way." Miley paused and wiped her eyes.

"Daddy…God I love you so much, but there is no way in this world I am going to lose Lilly. Please do not ask me that. Don't make me choose her over you. I will…I swear I will. I would still love you with all my heart, but I would leave this house and never come back. I would take all my money and be Hannah on my own. I would probably fall flat on my face without you…but I would try if you take Lilly from me. Lilly means that much to me…she is like my sister and at one time you thought of her as another daughter…I know you did. Daddy, she had always been there for me…always! She never complained when I got her into messes or asked her to do things that embarrassed her. When I was gone filming the movie or when I go on tour, she never complained or told me she could not be my friend. She always stuck by me, daddy, and I love her for that. I have not been there when she needed me at times and she never said a word." Miley pointed to her room, "Daddy, I would die for that girl in my room and she would do the same for me. Please, I…I am begging you. Do not make me give up Lilly because we did things I was curious about and it did not sit well with you. I know you hated it and blame her…but don't. I was involved to and she did not force me to do anything I did not want to do. So…Please, daddy…I need her…I need her so bad in my life. Don't take her away from me." Miley was crying now and Robby Ray put his arms around her and hugged her tight.

"I love you, bud, and that was a wonderful speech. I…I do care for her and like her…but I can't accept you being gay."

Miley hugged her father back just as tight, "Daddy…I don't know if I am or not or what I am…I do know and can tell you Lilly and I are not lovers anymore and will never be again…I wish we were a lot of times. I would wait for her for ever to be again if she wanted it…but she has moved on and now she is my best friend who I love dearly and I am so lucky she is. I…please, daddy…please don't make me stop being her friend. I can't take that."

"I won't, baby…I won't. She cares for you too…I see that and she is welcome here anytime. But…if you well…if you get involved with her again or any girl…please talk to me first…I need time to process it."

Miley whispered her thanks and kissed her father's cheek and ran to her room to find Lilly going through her CD collection. Her Hannah Montana CD's. Miley wiped her eyes before Lilly could turn around.

"Everything cool?" Lilly asked.

Miley smiled, "Yeah…I think it will be better now. What are you doing?"

Lilly smiled and handed Miley a Hannah CD and a sharpie marker. "Sign this for me…sign it to Natalie. She loves Hannah and I thought it could…well…make her happy."

Miley smiled, "Anything for you, Lils. Plus I liked the girl…she is very adorable. She is going to break some hearts when she gets older." Miley signed the CD and handed it back to Lilly. Lilly smiled at the words. **"Natalie…hang ten, dude, and keep surfing! I heard you were a natural, love Hannah Montana!"** "She will love it! Thanks, Miles."

Miley smiled, "I'll sign a tee shirt for her as well. So what now…it got pretty intense in here, huh?"

Lilly laughed, "Yeah…just a little. I am pretty tired and…ummm…I am going shopping with Amber and Natalie tomorrow…" Lilly paused to see Miley's reaction. Her friend smiled.

"Cool…we can hook up later maybe at the beach or here…but right now I want to gorge on some junk food, have dad make us some Loco Hot Coco, and watch some scary movies while I lay next to my best friend as I fall asleep. How's that sound?"

Lilly grinned, "Sounds wonderful!"

After some snacks, hot chocolate, and two scary movies Miley fell asleep and Lilly yawned as she curled up next to her friend. She pressed herself against Miley and put her arm around the girl, "I love you too Miles…and I would die for you as well." Lilly never told Miley she eavesdropped on the girl's conversation with her father and heard the last part of Miley's speech when the girl told her dad she would die for her.

Lilly left the Stewart house the next morning, went home and changed clothes and drove to Rico's. She was early and decided to wait there for Amber and Natalie to arrive. The blonde hoped the good Amber would show up and she was not disappointed. When Amber and Natalie arrived, Natalie ran and gave her a tight hug as Amber walked behind the girl. Lilly smiled at Amber's outfit.

"Damn, Amber…we are just going shopping? I did not know we were going to have tea with the queen or somebody?" Amber was dressed in a red and black plaid sleeveless dress that came about an inch above her knees. The top of the dress came straight across her chest about two inches below her neck line and covered what little cleavage the girl may have. Around her waist she wore a wide black belt with a silver buckle. She wore white thigh high stockings and shiny black two inch heels. Lilly noticed Amber wore a matching plaid ribbon tied to her neck like a choker and from the ribbon dangled a small silver heart. She stuck out her tongue at Lilly and was careful to stay on the wooden walkway to avoid the sand. The dress was very form fitting and Lilly admired the girls small shapely body as she walked toward her. Lilly walked to her holding Natalie's hand and Amber kissed her cheek.

"You look…wow…you look great…wow…so sexy…but umm…maybe a little over dressed for shopping. Those shoes are going to kill your feet before the day is over." Lilly said with a grin.

Amber smiled, "Don't be silly. I am used to heels and wanted to look nice for you today. So shall we?"

The three girls spent the morning shopping and Amber brought Natalie three dresses and two pair of shoes. She allowed Lilly and Natalie to drag her into a surf shop by the beach front and frowned when Natalie begged her to buy her a pair of jean Capri pants and a tee shirt; both made by a famous surf company. Amber had to tell the girl no because she did not have enough money and Lilly offered to buy them.

"I can't let you do that, Lilly. That is sweet of you…but no." Amber said as Natalie went to try on more surf clothes.

Lilly smiled, "Sure you can. I did not get her a birthday present this year." She walked to the dressing room, "Natalie, when's your birthday?" Natalie stuck her head out the door.

"Huh? I didn't hear you, Lilly."

Amber frowned, "We don't say 'huh', Natalie. We say 'excuse me' or 'pardon me' or sometimes 'what' will be acceptable." Lilly giggled as Natalie rolled her eyes. "Her birthday is June fourth and don't roll your eyes, young lady." Amber looked at Lilly, "God, hanging out with you has erased all the manners I have been trying to teach her. You are such a bad influence." Lilly stuck her tongue out at Amber and the Goth girl giggled. She stopped giggling when she saw Natalie had tears in her eyes. Amber walked quickly over to the girl and bent down so she was eye level with the child.

"Baby, what's wrong?"

Natalie smiled, "Nothing…just happy you remembered my birthday."

Amber smiled, "Of course I did…you told me and I remembered. I always remember important things like that."

Natalie hugged Amber, "Mommy and daddy never remember. Since you remember maybe I will get a birthday cake when I turn nine. I would like a birthday cake…and to blow out the candles. I never got to do that before." Amber hugged the girl tighter and promised her a cake for her birthday.

Lilly watched the scene and felt sudden sadness for this eight year old girl that never had a birthday party or cake. She took the jeans and shirt Natalie wanted, added a surfing beaded bracelet from a counter, and walked to the cashier. She told the clerk to put them in a gift box. As she handed the cashier her credit card her mom gave her for emergencies. Amber walked up and whispered in her ear.

"Lilly…I can't let you, baby."

Lilly turned and had a determined look on her face. "Fuck that, Amber, that little girl is going to get a birthday present from me even if it is months late or months early. And…and we are leaving here and going to go have lunch at a place that will give her a fucking birthday cake and some fucking candles so she can fucking blow them out and make a fucking wish! My treat!" Lilly wiped some tears from her eyes and felt Amber's lips brush hers gently.

"Lilly Truscott, you are one of the sweetest girls I have ever met. I…thank you Lilly…I love you so much. Let's just work on your language through."

Lilly giggled, "I also have another surprise for her as well in my trunk."

"What? Lilly you've done so much already. I mean everything…from the first day you forced yourself in my life." Amber said with a wink.

Lilly laughed, "Hush and go distract her while I get these things wrapped for her."

Amber nodded and gave Lilly another brief kiss and walked back to the dressing room to wait for Natalie. Lilly drove them to a pizza place that catered to children which had a huge game room. As Amber and Natalie sat at the table Lilly went to the counter and ordered the cake and joined them. As the three were eating a group of waitress came to the table along with a person in a kangaroo suit. They told Natalie it was her special day and sang happy birthday while they presented her with a cake with candles and a cup full of game tokens. Natalie cried in happiness as she made a wish and blew out the candles. She hugged Amber in thanks and the brunette girl told her it was Lilly's idea and she ran around the table and hugged Lilly.

"I am so glad you and Amber are friends. I love both of you so much!" She shouted and sat back down to eat her cake.

Lilly smiled, "Did you make a wish?" Natalie nodded with a mouth full of cake.

"I wished for…" Natalie began after she swallowed her cake and Lilly held her hand up.

"No, baby, don't tell me. It won't come true of you tell anyone."

Natalie nodded and took a big bite of her cake and got icing all over her chin and around her lips. Amber took a napkin and wiped the girls lips gently, "It's ok, little peep, you can tell her. Wishes and dreams never come true anyway." Natalie frowned and Lilly gave her a cold look that the Goth girl ignored.

"One more thing, Natalie, on your birthday you get presents." Lilly opened a brown paper bag and handed Natalie three wrapped boxes and the girl grinned and ripped them open and shouted in pleasure as she lifted the surfer jeans, tee shirt, and bracelet up for Amber to see. Amber helped her attach the bracelet and Lilly then gave her another bag.

"This is a special one from someone." Natalie opened the bag and screamed in joy. She pulled out a CD and tee shirt. Both signed by Hannah Montana.

"Lilly! Oh God! How…ohhhh…Hannah Montana really signed these? This is the best day ever!" Natalie held the CD and tee shirt up for Amber to look at and then held them tight to her chest. She laid them carefully on the table and asked if she could go play. Amber nodded.

"I'll come play with you in a moment…I love video games. I have to talk to Amber for a moment." Lilly said. When the little girl left Lilly turned to Amber.

"Why did you tell her about wishes for? That was uncalled for and mean!" Lilly said harshly.

Amber picked up the CD and looked at it for a moment, "So…who signed these for you? It is just like the wish thing. It is not real. She needs to know how the real world is. She needs to know there is no such thing as dreams or wishes or that people like Hannah Montana do not take time out of her life to sign CDs and tee shirts for a little girl she never met. Natalie needs to know the world is a cruel and evil place and days like today do not come along often. She needs to know people are evil and will do and say anything to take advantage of her. She needs to learn to protect herself from those people and not believe in wishes and dreams that never come true." Amber said sternly as she looked at the CD for a moment and then tossed it on the table.

Lilly stood up, "Well for your fucking information, Amber, that is Hannah's real signature! She did sign that CD and shirt! Miley's dad used to be a big shot performer and still writes songs and he wrote some for Hannah Montana and she was in the area at a recording studio! Miley had her dad go see her and sign those for Natalie. You are so wrong, Amber. So fucking wrong! I know life gave you a fucked up hand of cards and it breaks my heart to know those things…it breaks my heart more than you know, but that does not mean Natalie has to sit at the table and play the hand you got dealt. Let her be a child for God's sake! Let her enjoy her childhood!"

Amber looked up and her eyes blazed anger, "Enjoy childhood! Lilly you have no damn idea what that girl's childhood has been like! Sure you read things about her and me…but reading it is not living it, Lilly Truscott! You have no idea what it is like to walk into a home and be terrified of a mother who is so drunk or drugged up you have no idea how she will react to your mere presence! So terrified that you are afraid to even walk to your room or you may make a noise she will not like and get punished! So afraid of a mother who is _supposed_ _to_ love you and care for you and take care of you unconditionally but all she does is hurt you for the slightest mistake you make! To be afraid of getting older because when you do you know your own father…a man you are suppose to look up to and respect and love…is going to come into your room at night and…and…do things to you! That is that girl's childhood, Lilly! Is that what she is supposed to enjoy? Do not tell me about playing a poor hand of cards. She needs to know that friends and lovers who you loved so much die and never come back! Live my life or Natalie's life for a day and then tell me if blowing fucking candles out on a damn cake can change your fucking life and make things better! Do that, Lilly Truscott, and tell me she should enjoy her childhood!"

Amber stood and walked quickly to the bathroom and Lilly stared at her. She sighed and sat down. She knew she was right…Natalie needs to be a child and try to enjoy the good in her childhood, but she also knew Amber had a valid point. Lilly could listen and read and know in her mind what Amber and Natalie endured at home, but she could never fully understand it. She could never truly know what those girls lived with on a daily basis. She felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Lilly, is Ams alright? She is not sick again is she?" Lilly turned and saw Natalie standing next to her. Lilly smiled.

"No, baby, we just had a small fight. She'll be ok." Lilly stood and picked Natalie up and swung her around and the girl giggled, "So let's go play those video games and I'll show you how a pro plays!" Lilly said as she stopped swinging Natalie and held her in her arms.

Natalie smiled and touched Lilly's cheek with her hand, "Lilly…wishes do come true. I made a wish one time and it came true."

"You did…and what was that wish, baby?"

Natalie buried her head in Lilly's neck and hugged her tight, "I wished that Amber would find someone to be her friend and protect her…and she did. She has you now. Promise me, Lilly, promise me you will help Amber and protect her and stop her from getting hurt. I…I'm scared of something"

Lilly put the girl down and she wanted to cry but held her tears so the girl would not be scared, "What are you afraid of, honey?"

Natalie looked into Lilly's kind eyes, "I'm scared mommy will kill Amber one day if she keeps trying to protect me. My wish when I blew out the candles was to be as brave as Amber is so I can make mommy hurt me to protect Amber…like Ams does for me. I know it won't come true now that I told you, but I did not believe that one would ever be true anyway. I could never be as brave as her."

Lilly hugged Natalie, "You love her don't you, baby. You love Amber a great deal, huh?"

"Of course, I love her more than anything in the world. I…I love her so much it hurts me when mommy punishes her. Do you love her, Lilly?"

"I love her a great deal…and…I'll try to protect her…but I don't know how, baby."

Natalie pulled back and smiled, "You'll think of something…I know you will. I trust you, Lilly. Can we go play now?"

Lilly ruffed the girl's hair, "Sure, sweetie, let's go play." She took Natalie's hand and the two girls walked to the play area.

Amber stayed at herself on the mirror of the bathroom while she touched up her makeup. Lilly was so wrong. Life was not full of wishes and dreams. Life was nothing but curses and nightmares and Natalie needed to know that if she was going to survive. She had to learn the world was cruel and hateful if she was going to be able to protect herself. Natalie needed to know that people you love die in car accidents, she needed to know that a best friend you love so unconditionally you would die for her gets sick and dies in a hospital while you are taking care of them, she needs to know brothers you love and who took care of you get killed in war, and she needed to know someone so beautiful and you loved with you whole heart gets shot and killed while she just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Amber frowned in the mirror; the girl needed to know men will use and abuse her for their own lusts…even ones who are supposed to love you. She needed to know woman and girls can be cruel and beat you until you beg them to let you die. Amber knew Lilly was wrong and Natalie needed to learn how cruel and heartless the world was and stupid wishes and dreams don't mean shit in the world.

Amber walked back to their table and sat down and watched Lilly and Natalie play and she smiled. She suddenly thought maybe, just maybe, there was some good in the world but then she heard the voices tell her that was not true. The voices told her what she saw was a farce and Lilly would soon leave her to be with someone else if she did not act soon. The voices told her Lilly would abandon her and Natalie, and Lilly would mock her as she kissed and made love to her knew lover, a girl she loved more than her, if she did not do what she had to do. Amber's smile vanished from her lips as she saw the White Lady standing behind Natalie as the girl laughed and played a video game with Lilly. The White Lady smiled at the Goth girl and then looked down at the eight year old girl and frowned. Amber put her head down, closed her eyes, and rubbed her temples with her forefinger and thumb of her right hand. _Please…go away…she is a good person…she loves me and there is kindness in the world. You are wrong…all of you…tell them, mommy, tell them there is good in the world and Lilly loves me and is not going to leave me! And please, mommy…please make the Lady leave Natalie alone! She is here for me not her! She is too young and too precious for the Lady! Please, mommy…make them all go away! They used to love me so much but they are so cruel to me now and talk of hate…make them love me again, mommy…please! Tell them I cannot be with them until Natalie is safe…make them understand, mommy...please, mommy! You are the only one who still loves me…they will listen to you! _ Amber begged in her head and the voices stopped as suddenly as the came, but they left doubts in the Goth girl's head. Amber looked up and saw Lilly and Natalie standing over her. She smiled up at them.

"Ams…are you ok…I…I got worried you got sick again."

"I'm fine, baby, just a little head ache. Are you done playing?" Amber looked at her watch and was surprised they had been in the restaurant that long. She got up and gave Lilly a tight smile.

"So…umm we have a little more time…any idea what we can do before we have to go back?" She asked the blonde.

Lilly gave her a curious look and shrugged, "Whatever…maybe we could hang out at Rico's or something."

Amber nodded, "Sure. If Miley is not doing anything you can call her and have her meet us. I would like to thank her and her father for the CD and tee shirt. That was very kind of her." She turned to Natalie, "Little peep, do you need to go to the restroom before we leave?"

Natalie smiled, "Yeah…I have to pee…bad!" The girl said loudly.

Amber rolled her eyes, "Shhh…when in public young ladies have to powder their noses…not go pee."

"Yes, m'am." Natalie said in an exasperated voice and Lilly grinned. Natalie walked quickly to the bathroom and Lilly gently grabbed Amber's arm.

"Hey…you ok, baby? You like phased out for about twenty minutes or so."

Amber smiled, "Yes...Lilly…I'm sorry for what I said earlier…I…I just want Natalie to know the world can be an evil place. But when she sees you all she sees is the good in the world. For that I want to thank you…you show her how life can be and how love should be. You are very kind to us and I love you for that. You were right. She does deserve a happy childhood and you give her that part…if just for a few moments a week. All I ever show her is the evilness in the world and how cruel it can be. I…I'm sorry I yelled at you."

Lilly reached out and caressed Amber's cheek, "It's ok, baby…and you are wrong, Amber…so wrong about yourself. That girl looks up to you a great deal and she loves you more than anything or anyone she has ever loved before. She knows what love is because of _you_ not me. In me she sees a fun friend she loves a little to play with and teach her to surf and play video games. But in you she sees a girl to look up to, to be proud of, and who loves her in a way she had never known before. If I walked out of her life today she would be sad for a while but she would recover, but if you did she would be heart broken for the rest of her life. Show her the good in life Amber…I know you have seen it. She loves you, baby, a great deal and you do show her love and kindness and the goodness in the world. To her…_you_ are that good in the world."

Amber smiled and turned as she heard Natalie running back to them, "For a while, Lilly, for a while…but you will also see how the world can hurt, love, and for that I am so sorry…I never wanted it to happen you." Amber said under her breath as Natalie jumped in her arms.

"I love you, Ams." Natalie said and Amber kissed the girl's face all over making her giggle and beg for the Goth girl to stop.

Lilly called Miley while she drove back to the beach and Rico's and Miley told her she would meet them there. Lilly wished she could think of somewhere else to go, but she was still a little mad at Amber for there small fight earlier and thought Miley would be a good distraction until she calmed down completely. She glanced at Amber and gave the girl a worried look. Natalie was in the back singing along with her new Hannah Montana CD she begged Lilly to play while Amber was being quiet and staring out the window. Lilly wished she could read her girlfriend's mind and try to understand what she thought about when she phased into her dark time. By the time they got to the beach, Amber was back to herself and walked hand in hand with Natalie to Rico's while Lilly walked a little behind carrying Natalie's new dresses and shoes. They saw Miley was already waiting for them and arguing with Jackson about something or another. The tall brown haired girl smiled at them and waved. Miley stared at Amber and the way she was dressed and thought the girl looked absolutely beautiful. She mentally kicked herself for a thought she briefly had towards Lilly's new girlfriend.

Natalie smiled at Miley and begged Amber to let her try on new dresses to show Miley, Jackson, and Rico. Amber gave her the bags and told her to go into the back and change but to be careful not to spill anything on them.

The three girls moved to a table to wait for Natalie's small fashion show. "Amber…I…umm…I like your dress. It is so pretty and you look great in it. I wish I could wear something like that. Where did you get it?"

Amber smiled, "Thank you. I got it back home…God…last year sometime. It is old, bit one of my favorites." She took Miley's hand in hers and Miley gave a little jump, "Miley, I want to thank you and your father for the CD and the tee shirt. That was so very kind of you and him. Please tell him I said thank you. Natalie loved them and she is a huge fan of Hannah Montana."

Miley smiled, "No problem…dad said she was happy to do it. She loves her fans. I…ummm…so she likes Hannah more than you do I guess."

Amber blushed and pulled her hands away from Miley's. Amber could not help but notice Miley seemed reluctant for her to let go. "Ohhh…damn…I am so sorry I said that. I did not mean to say…well…just because her music is not to my liking does not mean she is not talented…I mean…she is…but umm…I did not know your dad…" Miley laughed.

"Hey, no problem, Amber, not everyone likes her…and I agree…her songs can cater to a younger crowd. I think she is planning on being more adult when she turns eighteen." Miley looked at Lilly and grinned. Lilly laughed. She calmed down and was glad Miley was being nice and it seemed so far her best friend and girlfriend were getting along.

Natalie soon came out wearing the pink sundress Amber brought her and the white Mary Jane shoes. She modeled for the three girls and two boys and they all told her how lovely she looked. She then modeled the light sky blue dress that enhanced her eyes and then the light green one and matching green shoes. When she came out the fourth time she was wearing the new Capri jeans and surf shirt. The jeans were low cut and Amber frowned at that but it was a gift from Lilly so she decided to let the girl have them. Natalie turned and smiled at Miley when she commented on how nice they were.

"Makes my butt look hot, huh Miley?" Natalie asked the girl.

"Natalie Elizabeth!" Amber exclaimed and everyone else giggled or laughed. Natalie looked at her feet and placed her hands behind her back and shifted back and forth.

"Well…Lilly said they did." The girl muttered as she bit her lower lip.

"Lilly Truscott! She is too young to have a hot butt! God…I swear I am going to stop allowing her to hang out with you! There is no telling what else you have been telling her! Here I am trying to teach her to be a lady and you are under minding everything I try to do!" Lilly and Miley laughed louder and Jackson and Rico started whistling at Natalie. The small girl started blushing and giggling. Amber crossed her arms and leaned back in her chair with a small smile and defeated look on her face.

Miley, still laughing, asked Natalie to try on her autographed tee shirt.

"No…I can't do that, Miley. That is signed by Hannah Montana and I could never risk ruining it. I am going to protect it so it never gets damaged."

Amber smiled at Miley and mouthed her thanks once again for the CD and shirt and Miley smiled back. Miley held out her arms and motioned for Natalie to come to her and the tall girl picked her up and placed her in her lap. She tickled Natalie and told her she was a beautiful girl. Amber looked at her watch.

"Natalie…go change, baby, your dad will be here shortly."

Natalie stopped giggling and nodded, "Yes, m'am." She said sadly, climbed off Miley, and walked into the back of the shop to change.

"She is so beautiful, Amber. And don't worry about her manners or being a lady…you can tell she has already learned so much from you about how to act and be a lady."

Lilly leaned over and kissed Amber's cheek, "Hey…be easy on her…she is going to be absolutely gorgeous when she gets older. That girl is going to be a heart breaker. I feel sorry for the boys when she starts dating."

Amber sighed but smiled at her girlfriend, "I know…that is what worries me." Lilly frowned. Only she and Amber knew what the Goth girl meant by the comment.

Before Natalie's father arrived, Amber got a new trash bag from the storage room and cut off the tags from Natalie's new clothes and placed the clothes in the bag along with the shoes. She told Lilly she was going to tell her uncle that a friend of hers has a younger sister who out grew these clothes and gave them to Natalie. Lilly thought it was a great idea. Lilly sadly watched as Natalie and Amber walked up to the road and got into the black BMW. She watched as the car drove off and Miley put her arm around her and hugged her close.

"She is really a great person, Lilly. I mean…after talking with her for a while and getting to know her…she is a great girl. I did not know she had such a good sense of humor and I love how she adores Natalie. I like her."

Lilly wiped her eyes, "Thanks, Miles…you are the best friend anyone could ever have." Lilly took a deep breath to steady her voice. "I…umm…I want to go home and be alone…ok. I don't think I am feeling too good right now."

Miley smiled and squeezed her friend gently. "Sure, honey." Miley kissed her cheek and let her go. She watched Lilly walk to her car and the suddenly the blonde girl dropped to her knees and vomited.

"Lilly! Lilly!" Miley screamed as she ran to her friend. By the time Miley got to her friend Lilly was already on her feet and wiping her mouth.

"I'm ok…just don't feel good. I think I either caught something or ate something that did not agree with me. I have cramps and feel terrible."

"Come on, Lils, I'll drive you home." Miley walked Lilly to her car and drove the girl home. Once at home, Lilly's mother took over and nursed her daughter. Lilly hated being sick, but she loved how her mother catered to her and babied her.

Miley got home and watched some television and finally went to bed. She was looking forward to going back to school after being tutored by that horrid person while on the movie set. Miley lay in bed wearing a tee shirt and panties and her thoughts drifted to her love life…or lack of one. She told her dad she did not know if she gay, straight, or bi but she knew that was a lie. Miley knew she was gay. When she dated Lilly…well they really just fooled around more than dated…she knew she may be gay then and it scared her. She was terrified how people would react to her. Then she dated Jake and when he kissed her and touched her she felt nothing at all. At first she thought it was just Jake, but when she was filming her movie she felt a deep attraction to her makeup girl. Miley wanted that girl to kiss her and touch her and make love to her. Miley knew then she was gay as her eyes often drifted to the other girls' bodies and she admired their butts or breasts while the good looking men or boys did nothing to stir her sexually. She had hopes when she came home to be with Lilly again. To work out their problems they had about dating and fall in love with her friend again, but now Lilly was dating Amber and after getting to know the girl; Miley knew she could not compete with the beautiful sexy Goth girl. She was just too damn hot and sweet. That was also another problem Miley recently discovered. She was physically attracted to Amber.

When she saw the small brunette in that dress she thought how good she looked and wanted to kiss her and even touch her and when the girl grabbed her hand so innocently Miley felt like she was struck by lightning. She wanted Amber sexually and that hurt her. How could she desire her best friend's girl friend? She loved Lilly…a great deal and even more than a friend but she lusted after Amber. Miley knew she would have to get over that quickly. The girl tossed and turned for about an hour and finally realized what she needed to get some sleep. She leaned over and opened a drawer to her night stand and pulled out a small "pocket rocket" vibrator. Miley pulled down her panties and spread her legs. She placed a finger in her already wet pussy and moaned as she twirled her finger inside herself. She twirled it for a while and then brought her finger to her lips and sucked herself off her finger. Miley then turned the vibrator on and touched her clit. She moaned louder and thought of Lilly making love to her. She thought of Lilly tasting her and sucking her nipples and playfully spanking her like she used to. Miley moaned and squealed in pleasure and then she got more aroused as her mind thought of Amber doing the things Lilly did to her. She imagined the petite brunette naked and kissing her and tasting her. Miley placed a pillow over her mouth and muffled a scream as her orgasm took control of her body and she shook in pleasure. After she calmed down she placed the vibrator in her mouth and licked it clean and then placed it back in the drawer. Miley rolled over on the bed and hugged her pillow and let the tears run down her cheeks. She begged whoever would listen for her not to have those thoughts about Amber. She pleaded not to think that way about her best friend's girlfriend. Miley drifted to sleep with guilt filling her heart.


	12. Chapter 12

Miley Stewart woke Monday morning with excitement of going back to school. She was excited about seeing her friends and catching up on the latest gossip, Lilly was not a gossiper so she could not fill Miley in on what was going on at the school and Miley was excited to find out who was dating who and who broke up with who. She was also excited to see Amber again; to her shame. Miley called Lilly before she took a shower to see how her best friend was feeling and Lilly's mom told her the Lilly must have caught a bug but was feeling better. She said Lilly was tired and going to stay out of school for the day and Miley would not have to pick her up. Miley told Ms. Truscott she would call her at lunch to check up on her daughter. She hung the phone up and felt a wave of guilt wash over her as briefly thought of how nice it would be to talk and maybe even flirt with Amber while Lilly was not around. Miley slapped herself on the forehead for thinking something like that and was determined to get over the lust and small crush she had on the strange attractive Goth girl. _Just avoid her today…that should be easy since Lilly is not going to school_, Miley thought as she curled her hair.

Miley was placing her books in her locker when she heard a soft voice calling her name. Miley turned and saw Amber walking to her. The brown haired girl groaned as she saw Amber and how she was dressed. Amber was wearing a pleaded black leather skirt that flared out at the hem and came just above her knees. Her top was an ivory colored bodice with wide shoulder straps and on her feet were short black boots. Miley thought she looked very sexy and that thought bothered her but a smile escaped her lips involuntarily as Amber walked to her.

"Hey, Miley…umm…have you heard from Lilly today? She normally waits for me out front." Amber asked shyly as she looked at her feet.

"Yeah, she stayed home today. She got sick last night…nothing serious," Miley added as she saw the look of concern on Amber's face, "she just caught a bug and is feeling better today…just tired."

Amber frowned, "Damn I hate not having a cell." She said softly and then looked at Miley, "I'll call her at lunch…I needed a ride home today after school. I don't have to work today and my uncle is working late. I'll catch the bus I guess." Amber said with a smile and opened a locker next to Miley's.

_Fucking great! Her locker is next to mine! My luck sucks!_ Miley thought as she pulled her books for her first two classes out of her locker and then turned to Amber. "Amber, I can give you a ride home if you want." _Mistake Miles…big mistake!_

"Oh I can't impose on you. It's ok…I'll take the bus." Amber said with a smile.

"No. I won't hear of it. I'll give you a ride." _Shit…why…why…I could have let it go…you are so stupid Miley!_ Miley smiled at Amber and the Goth girl smiled back.

Miley told Amber she would see her later and walked quickly to class. All morning her thoughts drifted to Amber and she even fantasized about having sex with the girl in her car while she gave her a ride home. Miley cursed herself and felt deep shame in having such thoughts about her best friend's girlfriend. She knew would never act on them and also knew Amber did not look at her that way. Or hoped it was true; Miley did not know what she would truly do if Amber came on to her. She hoped she would resist and push the girl away, but it had been a long time since she had sex…a very long time…and she lusted after the Goth girl badly. But just having the thoughts filled her with guilt. Miley called Lilly at lunch and the girl was still in bed and groggily told Miley she was fine and Amber had called her as well. Lilly told both girls she would be back at school tomorrow. Miley was sitting in the cafeteria with Oliver laughing when she looked up and saw Amber was sitting alone playing with her food and writing in a notebook. Miley thought the girl looked so adorable in her stylish black framed glasses. Miley assumed it was the journal that Lilly told her about and felt a rush of pity for the Goth girl and decided to invite her to join them.

"Amber, you don't have to eat alone…come on and join me and Oliver." Miley said as she looked down at the girl, who quickly closed her journal and smiled.

"Are you sure? I hate to impose…but well…I kind of got used to not eating alone and it would be nice."

Miley chuckled and took Amber's tray, "Come on girl, you are dating Lilly and her and I are best friends and this would be a good chance to get to know you better."

Amber smiled shyly, "Ok…thanks, Miley, you are very sweet."

Miley giggled, "Come on, silly." Miley walked back to her table carrying Amber's tray with Amber following behind her. As she got to talk to Amber she liked the girl more and more and felt her attraction grow for the sad Goth girl who would open up every once in a while and talk about her life in Seattle. Miley found Amber had a good sense of humor and was very charming and even somewhat flirtatious. Miley like when Amber flirted with her and Oliver. Amber asked the two more about Lilly and Miley and Oliver told her stories about how the three got themselves in humorous predicaments in the past and Amber would giggle at their antics. Every once in a while Amber would touch Miley's arm or hand and both girls would jerk back as if struck by lightening and give each other curious glances and Amber would smile shyly and hurriedly look away. Miley felt a mixture of excitement and guilt from those looks and thought she knew what they meant…she just hoped she was wrong. After lunch Miley went to her other classes and even found she had gym and math with Amber. She noticed during gym, Amber did not dress out and took a zero for the class and sat on the bleachers writing in her journal. In Math class, Miley had to sit behind Amber (it was the only empty seat) and she could pick up the wonderful scent of the girl's shampoo and light fragrance of her perfume. The smell was driving Miley crazy with desire. She always hated math and thought the class was boring so her mind wondered to very dirty thoughts of Amber and the things she wanted to Goth girl to do to her. Miley felt herself getting wet between her thighs and mentally cursed she needed to get laid. Then the secret pop star noticed something strange when the teacher gave them a pop quiz. Amber spent her time writing in the journal and ignoring the teacher and when handed the quiz, the Goth girl placed her name on it and set it to the side. Amber then pulled out a blank paper and answered all the math problems and then crumpled paper up to be thrown away later. When the teacher told them time was up, Amber handed in a black quiz. Miley wandered if the girl just did not know the answers or knew them and just took a zero on purpose. She was going to ask Amber about it on the way home; if the girl was good at math Miley could use a tutor. Miley hated math and needed to get her grades up if she was going to go to college, something she had not decided on yet. Hannah Montana had a four month European Tour in June and her dad was pushing college for winter quarter. She was told by her advisors she needed to get her math grade up to make her chances better to get in the University Of Tennessee, where her dad wanted her to go. Miley secretly hoped Amber was good at math since she could spend time close to the girl and then felt that recently familiar wave of guilt hit her at the thought of crushing terribly on Lilly's girlfriend.

As Miley drove Amber home after school her sexual arousal increased due to the closeness of being next to the girl in her small sports car. She could smell Amber's soft scent of her perfume and it was making her nuts. They made small talk and Miley even picked up on the small flirtatious comments of the Goth girl and wondered if she even knew she was doing it. Amber flirted in such a charming and lady like manner it seemed so natural for the petite brunette as if it was normal conversation. Miley decided it was just Amber's way and thought she did not mean anything by it and decided to direct the conversation to something safe.

"Amber, umm…in math class I noticed you did not even try to work the problems on the quiz but wrote the answers down on another piece of paper. Can I ask why? I mean…if you knew them why didn't you answer them on the quiz?"

Amber smiled as she looked at Miley and Miley thought the smile was very seductive without meaning to be, "Well…yeah I knew them. I…well…I am pretty good at math and I like problems and puzzles and like to figure them out. But…well…I don't care much about my grades anymore so…God, Miley, I don't know…it is not important to me anymore." Amber finished with a sad smile.

"Cam I ask you something? A favor?"

"Sure…I feel I owe you for the Hannah Montana things…what is the favor?"

"I need help in math and if you are good in math maybe you can help me. You know…tutor me a few times a week. Can you?"

Amber bit her lower lip, "I could…I used to help someone I knew in Seattle in math…but…I don't know when I could. I mean I don't have much free time after school with work and having to be home and all…maybe I could think of something."

"Great…think about it. I would be very grateful and would owe you big time. Anything you wanted to pay you back." Miley said excitedly.

Amber giggled, "Why, Miley…anything leaves a world of possibilities and a lot of options open. I think we could work something out."

Miley blushed and looked at Amber grinning at her, "Well…I did…ummm…stop! Stop teasing me!" Miley laughed as she saw Amber's grin get wider.

"Seriously, Miley, you don't owe me anything. I owe you for being kind to me and for what you did for Natalie." Amber grabbed Miley's hand and she felt both the urge to pull away or to let Amber hold her hand. She opted to let Amber hold her hand. "I cannot thank you enough for what you did for her. It made her very happy and all she talked about last night was Hannah this and Hannah that. She talked so much about her I feel like I know her."

Miley laughed and felt a little disappointed Amber let go of her hand and pointed to a street she had to turn down. They soon arrived at Amber's home and Miley was surprised at the size of the house and the neighborhood. She expected Amber to live in a rundown home in a bad neighborhood. From what Lilly told her of the abuse she suffered, Miley thought Amber's uncle and aunt were very poor. The large home shocked her.

"Amber, what does your uncle do…his job?" Miley said as she pulled into the driveway.

"He's a plastic surgeon…well thanks for the ride, Miley, and I will think of something on the math tutoring." Amber leaned over and kissed Miley's cheek, "And thank you again for the gift for Natalie…I am very grateful." Miley watched Amber walk into the house and admired the girl's small but shapely butt. _Fuck…fuck…fuck! What are you doing Miley Stewart! What the fuck are you doing! She is Lilly's girlfriend!_ Miley thought as she drove home and inhaled deeply to smell the lingering scent of Amber's perfume. Miley parked her car in the garage, ran to her room, locked her door, stripped her clothes, and brought herself to orgasm thinking of Amber. When she was done she rolled to her side and cried with guilt of having such lust for Lilly's girlfriend. Miley got up in time for dinner and ate very little and even avoided a call from Lilly. She was feeling too guilty to eat or talk to her friend.

Amber walked up to the front entrance of the house and smiled as she thought of her flirting with Miley and the looks Miley kept giving her all day. She knew the tall girl wanted her but she would take her time. Amber knew it would take time since Miley was Lilly's best friend and the girl would not just jump into bed with her. Amber felt guilt flirting with Lilly's best friend but the voices told her it was something she had to go to keep Lilly and not let Miley steal her girlfriend away and Amber was in love with Lilly and did not want to lose her like she lost Samantha. Samantha's voice was the strongest when it told her to seduce Miley to keep Lilly and Amber knew Samantha knew what she was talking about. Samantha told her if she would have done the same to Carly then she never would have left her and never would have been in that store near Carly's house and never would have died. Yes Amber felt guilty about what she was doing since she loved Lilly, but she also knew Samantha knew better than she did. Amber sighed as she opened the door and quietly walked in the home.

Amber heard the woman in the kitchen doing something and making noise, which surprised Amber. Normally the woman would never be in the kitchen except to fix her a drink since she made Amber do all the cooking. Amber frowned and remembered she used to love to cook and is very good at it, but now she hated cooking for those people. She thought about how many times she wanted to make a horrid tasting dinner on purpose, but she also cooked for Natalie and did not want the small girl to go to bed hungry because of her cooking. The poor child went to bed on an empty stomach too many times for other reasons and Amber was not going to be the cause of even one night of that. Amber paused and listened to make sure she did not hear Natalie in the kitchen as well getting punished for a minor offense or a made up on and took a deep breath in relief the woman was alone making the noise. The man was at work and would not be home until late. His practice started picking up since he signed a contract with a new HMO. Amber made her way up the stairs to check on Natalie and change clothes before she started her nightly chores of ironing and cooking; she stopped when she noticed the yellow sundress was lying on the steps. Fear rushed through her body and she picked the dress up and walked quickly to Natalie's room to see if the girl was harmed. Amber paused by the door and listened as she did every night when she came home. She made it a habit to listen at the door to see if she heard crying. Sometimes she would go in the room and sometimes she would listen and be satisfied Natalie was alright and go to her room. This late afternoon she heard music and smiled. Natalie always listened to Hannah Montana when she was not hurt. Amber knocked and walked in the room to see the girl on her bed lying on her side facing away from her.

"Little peep, you should not just leave your dresses on the floor. You should hang them like I showed you yesterday so they won't get wrinkled." Amber said as she turned the music down.

Natalie looked over her shoulder, "Don't care. I don't want to wear them anyway." The girl said in a pouting voice.

Amber hung the dress in the closet and sat on the edge of the bed and Natalie moved to put her head in Amber's lap. Amber brushed the girl's long blonde hair behind her ears. "Why, baby, you look so beautiful in them."

"Mommy does not think so…she said I looked like a whore in them." Natalie looked up at Amber, "Ams, what's a whore?"

Amber sighed, "Well it is something you should never call anyone but it means…well…a bad girl. A girl that has a lot of boyfriends and a very bad thing to call someone and I never want you to say that word."

Natalie gave her a look of understanding, "Oh…a girl who kisses a lot of boys and even…has sex with them?" She whispered the last part.

Amber frowned, "And what do you know of sex, baby?"

Natalie shrugged, "Not much…kids at school talk about it…older kids…and one boy in the seventh grade told me he wanted to have sex with me…he scared me. Is…is that what daddy does with you?"

Amber sighed, "Yeah, baby, it is…but that is our secret…never tell anyone, ok. So tell me why your mom did not like the dress."

Natalie shrugged again, "She just said you were making me a whore like you and told me not to wear them. I don't know why she calls you a whore. You never even talk to boys. At the beach so many boys tried to talk to you and Lilly and Miley and you did not kiss them or even talk to them. You're not a whore are you, Amber?"

Amber turned her head and looked at the blank wall, "I…I used not be…but yes, Little Peep, I think I am now…I don't want to be, but I am." Amber looked back down at Natalie and smiled, "But you are not and you never will be. And those dresses were beautiful and you did not look like a whore. You looked so lovely in them."

Natalie smiled, "I'm glad you think so, Ams…and I don't think you are a whore…you are a lady. I…" Natalie was interrupted by a shout from her mother.

"Amber, get your skinny ass down here right now…too the kitchen! We need to talk about how you dress my daughter!" The cruel voice shouted.

Natalie began to cry as Amber stood up. Amber gave Natalie the head phones for her CD player, "Little Peep, you put these on and turn the music up so you cannot hear anything but the music. Keep listening to the CD's until I come back in hear…promise me." Natalie nodded and put the head phones over her ears and turned her player's volume up. Amber kissed her forehead and walked to the door. She turned and gave Natalie a wink and the girl smiled sadly at her. Both knew Amber was going to get punished painfully.

Amber walked to the kitchen and saw the woman over the stove. The first thing she did was look to see if there was a pot of water on the stove and sighed in relief there wasn't. The burn on her hand was healing nicely but she remembered the pain and thought it was the worse pain she ever experienced. She did notice one of the gas burners was on and flaming but no pot of water. The woman was standing by the stove. Amber started to sit down at the breakfast table as fear gripped her. She knew she was going to be hurt and hoped it would just be some type of spanking or some slaps to the face. Those she got used to, they hurt but she was used to them. Amber feared the unknown pain more than the pain she knew.

"I didn't tell you to fucking sit down, slut. Stand up." The woman said calmly and almost in s friendly manner. Amber stood without hesitation. She learned not to provoke the woman.

"Take off your whore clothes. All of them including your disease infested panties."

Amber looked at her and hesitated. That hesitation earned her a slap to the face, "Now, bitch! Don't make me strip you! I am not going to fuck you…something I am sure you would enjoy being such a whore!" Amber nodded and began to take off her clothes. In a different lifetime she would have been humiliated but now she just did as told. When she was naked the woman told her to turn around and bend over the table. Amber did and prepared herself for the spanking she knew was going to come soon. She whimpered as her head was jerked up by her hair.

"You think you are so beautiful don't you? You think you have such a nice little body don't you? Well you are just a fucking whore and now you are trying to make my daughter one with those fucking dresses!" Amber could smell the alcohol on the woman's breath.

"Nooo…they…they are very conservative and…and nice…please…don't do this…please!" Amber pleaded her case but it fell on deaf ears. The woman laughed.

"Oh…but they make it easy for her to pull up and fuck any boy that comes around…that is what you thought, cunt? She would be able to just pull her panties down and her dress up and be ready to get fucked like you do?" Amber cringed at being called a cunt. Of all the curse words she hated that one the worse and while she heard it directed at her numerous times in anger and even sometimes during sex, she never said that word in her seventeen years of life.

"Noo…I promise…they were pretty on her…and…ohhhhh…stop please…they…she…she looked so pretty."

"That's right, she looked pretty enough for some boy to want her…my daughter will not be like you! She will not be a whore!" The woman let go of Amber's head and it slammed onto the table. She then felt her hands being pulled behind her hard and yelled as the pain if her arms were brought up in an unnatural position. Amber then felt something sticky being wrapped around her hands and she soon found she could not move her arms. Something hit the table with a loud thud and Amber saw it was a role of silver duck tape. The woman bound her hands behind her with the tape. She whimpered but her please were only answered by her head being pulled back by her hair again. Amber then felt the woman run her long fake finger nails over her ass and then up her back in a seductive manner.

"Ever read the 'The Scarlet Letter', Amber? I did…when I used to like to read." The woman caressed her cheek, "What did they do to that woman who was a whore…oh yes they made her sew an A into her dress. Well you are a whore so I thought a W would do nicely for you. But the problem is…you have too many clothes and it would take forever so I decided on another idea." The woman giggled evilly and turned Amber around and pushed her down on the table so her legs dangled over the edge and her back and but lay flat on the hard table. Amber almost lost her balance but the woman held her up until she was sure Amber would not fall. The woman then used the tape and taped Amber's feet to the legs of the table. Amber whimpered and squirmed but got slapped in the face for her efforts. She was terrified and had not idea what the woman was going to do, but she knew it was not going to be pleasant. When her feet were secure and Amber's legs were spread wide the woman laughed and walked to the stove. Amber's eyes followed her in fear and she saw the woman put a pot holder mitten on her right hand and then pick something up off the stove top; when she turned around Amber screamed in fear. The woman was holding a wire coat hanger that she fashioned the tip into a W about and inch and a half wide and two inches long. The W glowed red from heat.

"Nooo…oh God please! Nooo…anything…I'll do anything…please ohhhh God please noooo!" Amber screamed at the top of her lungs and started crying. The woman smiled and walked over to Amber.

"Shut up, whore! You need your scarlet letter! The problem is where to put it. I thought your ass but no…my husband would not like that would he? He has always been into asses and he would not want yours marred. Then I thought your breasts and that would be perfect. You have such nice perky small breasts and I want to spoil them." Amber screamed out again and the woman slapped her with her free hand and told her to shut up.

"If you scream out again…well before I brand you…I will use it on your skanky cunt! How would you like that? To seal your disease ridden hole so no one can fuck it again! So shut up, whore!" Amber stopped screaming and started whimpering as mucus ran from her nose and tears ran down her cheeks. The woman straddled her and Amber tried to struggle, but with her arms and legs bound she could not do much. Her eyes followed the red hot W as the woman brought it closer to her breasts.

"Ohhhh….God…please…anything…I'll do anything! I'll…I'll leave! I leave and never come back…please…oh God please nooo!" Amber screamed and begged but the woman laughed.

"Leave! You will never leave…I hate you but I enjoy hurting you! Plus my husband would never allow you to leave!" The woman pressed the hot metal to Amber's left breast just above the nipple and held the girl down as her body jerked up. Amber let out a shrieking scream of agony as the W burned into her flesh and she almost passed out. She wished she would have as the metal melted her flesh. Spit in the form of foam dripped from her mouth and mucus ran from her nose as she screamed over and over and when she smelled her flesh burning she vomited on herself. The pain and smell made her sick. Soon the pain made her lose control of her bladder and Amber urinated on the floor. When the woman was satisfied with her work she climbed off the naked girl and threw the coat hanger in the sink and ran water over it to cool it off. She walked back to Amber and examined her work; she smiled cruelly.

"Not bad…actually very nicely done. It is real clear. Better put something on it later so it won't get infected. I am sure my husband can doctor it up some tonight." The woman got a knife and cut Amber's feet free and then she rolled Amber off the table to land in her urine and vomit with a thud on the hard tile floor. Amber could not even feel the pain of hitting the floor as her breast burned in agonizing pain. The woman cut the tape on her hands.

"Clean yourself up and clean this mess up and we will eat around seven tonight. The dinner menu is on the counter." The woman left the kitchen with a drink in her hand.

Amber curled up on the cold floor in the fetal position and cried and whimpered. Her breast burned and hurt her terribly. The pain she felt was a hundred times worse than the hot water and her body shook with her sobs. She did not know how long she lay there in her vomit and urine and she did not care as her breaths came in loud short gasps, but soon she felt a hand brush her hair. Amber jerked in fear but did not turn around. She had no strength to turn her head.

"No…please…no more…God please…I…anything…I'll do anything…please, m'am, no more! I'll…I'll please you anyway…anyway you want…I…I can't take more…please!" Amber begged and sobbed harder. The crying hurt her breast more but she could not control it.

"Ams…Amber…it's me." Amber heard Natalie's child voice and she even cried harder. She did not want to girl to see her like this or hear her beg like she was. Amber felt the small girl lie next to her and put her small arm around her; the girl being careful of the burn. Natalie lay in Amber's vomit and urine but did not care as she tried to comfort her friend. Amber felt Natalie's body shake and knew the girl was crying also.

"I…I tried, Ams…please don't hate me! I tried to be brave…but…but I couldn't! I was too scared. I tried to be brave and wanted to stop her…but I couldn't. Please, Amber…please don't hate me. I wanted to be like you and let her hurt me instead…but I was too scared." Natalie sobbed, "Don't worry, Amber…I…I cut the dresses up! I hate them now! I never want another dress the rest of my life! I wanted to stop her but I was too scared. Please…please don't hate me."

Amber felt Natalie remove her arm and she found the strength to grab it. "No…no…never…never try and…never try to stop her! Never…promise me…never try…try to stop her! I…I don't hate you…little…peep…I…I love…love you…but never…try…promise…me!" Amber gasped out between heavy fasts breaths.

Amber heard Natalie mutter her promise and felt the girl gently pull her arm, "Ams…we have to get up or mommy will be mad again. She took some medicine and went to take a bath. She takes long baths when she takes her medicine but we have to get up now."

Amber tried to roll over but felt more agony from the burn and felt sick to her stomach again. She did not have the strength to move, "No…I can't…please let me just lay here…please, Natalie."

"Amber, please get up. We have to clean you up and clean the kitchen before mommy gets out of the bath tub. Please, Amber." The girl gently tugged Amber's arm and the Goth girl jerked it away.

"No! I just want to lay here…I…I can't get up…please, Natalie, please leave me alone."

NO! Get up right now! You have to get up!" Natalie yelled at Amber and the hurt girl moved to her knees as Natalie helped her. Soon Amber was on her feet leaning a little on Natalie and staggering out of the kitchen. They two girls made it to the stairs when Amber stumbled and almost fell. She looked at Natalie and frowned.

"Baby, you got all messy. You are covered in…well…you should not have been on the floor and got all messy."

"Shhh…we need to get you cleaned up and then the kitchen…don't worry about me, Ams…come on; just a little more and we will be in your room."

Amber let out a small smile and allowed the girl to lead her to her room and into her bathroom. Amber sat on the lid of the toilet while Natalie ran her bathwater. As the tub was filling with water Natalie looked at Amber and for the first time noticed the girl's breast and saw the ugly W branded into the skin. She started crying again.

"Ohh, Ams…your…it looks terrible. We…we need to put something on it so it won't get infected. Daddy has something in his bag he uses on me when mommy spanks me to hard. Get in the tub and I'll go get it. It is a cream and makes the pain fell better." Natalie said and ran from the bathroom as Amber looked at the tub fill with water. She smiled weakly at how Natalie took charge and tried to help her, but the one thing the small girl did not think of was the pain the warm water was going to cause Amber when the burn on her breast touched the water. Amber tried to stand and felt a wave of nausea hit her and sat back down. She put her hands over her face and started sobbing again over what was done to her. She wanted to look in the mirror to see her self but could not find the strength to even look at what she used to consider very cute breasts. She looked up as Natalie came back in the bathroom.

"Ams…please…you need to get in the tub." Natalie pleaded as she took Amber's hand and helped pull her to her feet.

"Natalie…I…I can't. The…the burn is going to hurt when I get in…I can't take anymore pain. Please, baby…please don't make me."

Natalie frowned, "I know but you have to. It will hurt for just a little bit and then I can put the cream on and you can rest for a little while. Please, Amber…you have to."

Natalie pulled the tape off of Amber's wrists and ankles then led her to the tub and she sank down in the warm water and it did feel good at first but as predicted when the water touched the burn the Goth girl's body tensed in pain and she let out a whimpering cry. Natalie got a wash cloth and soap and started washing Amber's body gently and then used the detachable shower massager head to wash Amber's hair. Amber whimpered some more as Natalie shampooed and rinsed her hair. When she was clean, Amber got out of the tub and Natalie dried her off careful not to touch her breast and asked her to sit back down on the toilet so she could put the cream and a bandage on the branded W. Amber winced in pain as Natalie massaged the cream into the sore. The girl was trying to be careful but even the slightest touch hurt. After a few minutes Amber felt the cream working and the pain eased some as she helped Natalie bandage the wound. When she was done Natalie lead Amber to her bed and helped the Goth girl lay down. Amber grabbed Natalie's arm and pulled her to her face and kissed her cheek.

"Thank you, Little Peep, thank you so much. You are so brave…never think you aren't."

Natalie did not smile but felt proud Amber told her she was brave, but instead she stepped back and gave Amber a harsh look, "Ams, I want you to leave! I want you to runaway! I love you so much but you have to leave! I…I'm afraid mommy is going to kill you one day and I can't stand that! I…I would miss you so much if you left, but I would know you were safe. I'm scared, Amber; I am so scared she is going to kill you one day. Please, Ams, please runaway…I…please!" Natalie started begging and crying as Amber pulled her closer.

"No, baby, I already told you…I…I can't. I can't leave you. I am not going to leave you. She won't kill me…she likes to hurt me too much to kill me. I am not going to leave you until I know you are safe."

Both girls cried for a moment and Natalie told Amber to rest a little while she took a shower and then they will clean the kitchen. Natalie mentioned her mother was asleep in the tub and they would have time. When the girl left the room Amber broke down crying once again. The man was right when he told her everyone had a breaking point and Amber knew she came close to hers. The only thing that saved her was the beautiful eight year old girl she loved. Amber did not know how long she lay in bed, but eventually got up to clean the kitchen and start dinner. The cream helped ease the pain a lot and she got dressed in her pink pajama bottoms and slipped Ran's tee shirt over her body. Amber slowly walked to the kitchen and was surprised it was already clean and smiled proudly at the job Natalie did. She walked into the living room and saw Natalie, now clean, watching cartoons and the woman sitting in a recliner with a dazed look on her face as she sipped from her glass. Natalie saw her and smiled sadly after Amber winked at her and the woman told her to fix dinner.

Later that night the man came to her room as he did almost every night. He looked at the branded W and roughly rubbed more of the medical cream on Amber's breast making rude comments that he was glad he was not much into breasts so he did not care and how Amber was now branded like an animal and they owned her now. After he was done bandaging the wound her turned the girl over, pulled down her panties, and used her for his lusts. After he left, Amber pulled her journal from the secret hiding place and wrote. She waited for the voices to take her way to their world but they did not come. She knew she should have been relieved not to hear the voices since they were so cruel to her now, but she wanted the escape to their world and was disappointed she did not her them. Amber fell asleep begging in her mind for her mother.


	13. Chapter 13

Over the next week and a half Amber surprised everyone, including herself, with her mood. The dark Amber never showed up. While the torture she endured with the branding of her breast haunted her she acted cheerful, charming, and flirty to her friends. The first morning after she was branded by the woman Amber looked at her breast in the mirror and cried. The W was very defined and the wound puckered above her nipple. Amber knew she would be scarred for life and she cried at her ruined cute breast. The pain eased a great deal over the days thanks to the medication but the wound was scaring terribly to form the W. The Goth girl still endured the "punishments" from the woman and while the woman did not hurt her again as bad as when she pressed the red hot metal to her breast she still hurt Amber for the slightest mistake and even made up a few. The only positive thing about her "punishments" was that the woman left Natalie alone for the most part. The small girl did receive terrible spankings for some minor offence or another, but nothing as bad as she received in the past. The man continued to rape her almost nightly of course but his work hours left Amber more free time to enjoy with Lilly and tutor Miley. Amber got permission from her uncle to tutor Miley in math after school on the two days she did not work at Rico's. Her hours were cut since the weather, while not cold, was getting cooler and the time changed so it got darker earlier and less people came to the beach on weekdays. Amber told the man Miley was paying her and she would give him the money. Miley of course was not paying Amber, but she gave the man money from her tips telling him Miley paid her. She never told Miley and felt it was worth the loss money to be away from the house for a little while. Plus she would not need extra money to take Natalie shopping since the girl refused to wear dresses anymore or any new clothes for that matter after that terrible night. Amber was hurt Natalie cut up her new pretty dresses, but she never told the girl and understood why she did it. When Amber tutored Miley she had Lilly pick Natalie up at the bus stop and meet them at Miley's house and Lilly played with or took the young child to the beach while Amber and Miley studied. Amber thought it was a good arrangement since it got Natalie from her home and away from her mother and with Lilly's attention focused on the child Amber could flirt with Miley without Lilly getting jealous or suspecting anything.

Of course Lilly was one of the true almost totally non-jealous people Amber ever met. When Amber tutored Miley, Lilly had no problem leaving the two girls alone. She witnessed some minor flirting between the two girls but was not bothered by it. She trusted Amber and more importantly she trusted Miley with her life and knew her best friend would never do anything to knowing hurt her. Lilly loved Amber more and more everyday and enjoyed the girl's good moods and always thrilled when Amber would spontaneously grab her at school and pull her to a secluded spot and kiss her until she was left breathless. Lilly also noticed Amber opened up more about her life prior to moving to California and talked more of her best friend, parents, and brother. The other girl would seem to be telling Natalie stories about her past, but Lilly knew it was also the way Amber wanted to tell her about her past as well. The Goth girl was still closed mouth regarding her past relationship with the girl Samantha but talked a little about other people she dated, and Lilly noticed Amber changed the subject when Lilly, Miley or Natalie would ask questions she was not ready to answer. With Amber's good mood lasting so long and the girl not phasing out like she used to, Lilly thought maybe Amber was doing better and that made her very happy. The only problem Lilly had was with sex. Lilly was normally a very sexual person and now she was constantly sexually aroused due to just being around Amber. The surprise make out sessions left her so horny all she could think about was sex with Amber and to make it worse the Goth girl exuded sexuality in everything she did from kissing to every day normal things like just talking. Lilly would watch her when she tutored Miley and the way the girl put her hair up, chewed her pen, and wearing her stylish glasses even drove Lilly crazy with desire. Amber was sexy without trying to be. She tried several times to get over her issue with Amber's uncle and what he did to the girl. She tried to drive the images from her head but it never worked. Amber would ask Lilly to skip school in the afternoon at times and the girls would go to Lilly's house and Amber would do her best to try and seduce the blonde but Lilly could not think of anything but the girl's uncle raping her so they would just lie in bed and hold one another. Amber always told her it was fine, but Lilly knew the girl was getting frustrated with her and desired sex, but Lilly could not do anything as much as she desired Amber. Lilly even tried pleasing herself at night when alone, but those images still entered her thoughts and she could not even bring herself to orgasm that way. Lilly felt she was going crazy over not having sex and worse she started to imagine making love to Miley again. She thought of how much passion her and Miley shared in their lovemaking and how great the sex was. When Lilly spent the night with Miley she could not sleep as her best friend would snuggle close with her and press her body against her while she slept and the closeness and smell of Miley's hair drove her crazy. Lilly would never do anything with Miley or any other person while dating Amber; she was very loyal that way and committed to the person she was involved with. The blonde surfer girl despised people who cheated on the one they claimed to love. She saw first hand how it ruined the marriage of her own parents when her dad cheated on her mom and she saw how hurt her mother had been and how her mother cannot trust men she dates. Lilly was never going to be one of those people who cheated on someone regardless of how horny she got or attracted to another person she was. Infidelity was something Lilly did not tolerate in herself or others. To try and ease the feeling of sexual arousal Lilly went to the gym more and did anything she could physical to tire her body and took a lot of cold showers. It helped only a little.

Amber was also driving Miley crazy with desire. Miley could no longer deny she was physically attracted to Amber and wanted the girl badly. The way Amber nonchalantly flirted with her and touched her in innocent ways drove Miley nuts. When the Goth girl tutored her in math, which Miley discovered Amber was brilliant in; Miley would get lost in the girls green eyes and ignore anything the girl told her about the subject. Amber flirted with her and she flirted back shamelessly while sneaking glances at Lilly when the blonde was in the room. The pop star tried her best to ignore some of the flirtatious comments and blush while she looked at Lilly, hoping her best friend would not suspect her attraction to her girlfriend. At night Amber consumed her thoughts and fantasies as she masturbated over and over thinking of the Goth girl. Miley never pleased herself as much as she did over the next week and would have to bring herself to orgasm three and even four times a night just to sleep. The worse was when Lilly spent the night with her. In the past when she shared her bed with her best friend Miley would wish Lilly would make love to her like they used to, but now all she could think of was Amber and she dreamed of the Goth girl and the things she wanted the petite brunette to do to her. Miley just hoped she did not talk in her sleep and alert Lilly to her secret desire that left her ridden with guilt. Miley knew she did not love Amber; she just wanted the girl sexually but that was still wrong and she knew it. Miley and Lilly promised each other a long time ago they would never let a boy…changed to include girls also as they got older…come between them and Miley was breaking that promise. She really had no clue if Amber was attracted to her since the Goth girl was so natural in her flirtations and it seemed she was just that way. She flirted with Oliver, Jackson, and Rico as well and that confused Miley and drove her even crazier. Miley was not like Lilly; Miley could be a very jealous person and watching Amber flirt with the boys got to her and to her own shame Miley got jealous when she would see Amber and Lilly interact and kiss. Miley knew she wanted Amber to the point it made her mad with desire and she knew if the petite sexy girl came on to her she would not be able to resist.

Amber picked up on Miley's desire and knew it was time to act on what she needed to do to keep Lilly. In Amber's nixed up mind she needed to do something she never would have done in the past to keep a girl she loved. Amber saw the way the two girls looked at one another and so something they did not see. She saw love. Miley looked at her with lust in her eyes but she looked at Lilly with love. Amber saw it and did not need the voices to tell that; she saw it all too plainly and she was tired of losing someone she loved so she allowed the voices to control her in what she needed to do. Of course lately the voices controlled everything she did and they were so mean and cruel with the exception of her mother who remained kind and caring, but she came rarely anymore and when she did the other voices chased her away. On a day Amber was to tutor Miley, the tall brown haired girl mentioned she had something to do after school and told Lilly and Amber to meet her at home. She mentioned Lilly had the key and her dad was not home. Amber asked Jackson, who she liked and trusted, to pick Natalie up at the bus stop while Lilly and Amber went to wait for Miley.

Amber was sitting on the couch and was soon joined by Lilly after the blonde made herself at home and got a drink from the refrigerator. As soon as she sat down Amber pounced on her and straddled her and started kissing her and grinding herself against the blonde. Lilly moaned with pleasure as Amber grabbed her head passionately and kissed her harder. After a few moments Lilly pushed the girl away to catch her breath.

"Wow…what was…what was that for…damn that feels good…ohhh…God…that feels great." Lilly asked gasping and moaning while Amber kissed her neck. Amber pulled back and smiled.

"We don't get much time alone and I have not kissed you all day." She then started kissing Lilly's neck again and soon Lilly felt Amber grab her hand and force it up the girl's skirt and under her panties.

"Please, Lilly, please…just a little…touch me. I need you to touch me." Amber begged as she nibbled on the blonde's ear. Lilly inserted a finger inside her girlfriend and heard Amber gasp in long denied pleasure. The Goth girl was very wet and she soon slid another finger in easily. Amber moaned louder and pressed herself against the fingers.

"More…ohhhhh God…please more! Don't stop, love…please don't stop! I…ohhhhhh yes…I need you Lilly!" Amber begged and moaned as she rode Lilly's fingers harder. Lilly was very aroused and wanted the girl badly but then the hated images came into her mind and she pushed Amber roughly off her and the Goth girl landed on the couch with a moan of frustration. Lilly tried to get up, but Amber pulled her back down and kissed her softly.

"It's ok, love. Just hold me. I…I understand."

Lilly looked at Amber and smiled but she wanted to cry. "How…how can you be so fucking understanding? I want you so bad, Amber…but I can't…all I think about is what that man…" She was interrupted by Amber placing a finger on her lips.

"Shhh…please, love…please don't say it. Don't make it real for me...for us. I…I love you and I understand. That is how I understand why you can't. I love you." Amber curled up next to Lilly and the blonde put her arms around her and held her close.

"Miley has a crush on me. Did you know that?" Amber said suddenly and she put her head on Lilly's chest. Lilly looked down at her in surprise.

"No…I…no she doesn't. She can't…I mean…she wouldn't. Jackson does have a crush on you but not Miley. She…she just wouldn't."

Amber smiled and lifted her head off Lilly and positioned herself to lie down on the couch and placed her head in Lilly's lap.

"Don't be silly…Jackson does not have a crush on me. He just likes me as a friend. He is seriously crushing on that girl Alana that hangs out at the shack; the Hispanic girl. He talks to me about her all the time. I think she liked him too, but he won't make a move. But yes, love, Miley has a crush on me. You see it…the way she flirts and acts."

Lilly laughed as she started stroking Amber's hair, "Yeah and like you are so innocent. I've seen you flirt with her too."

Amber sat up and eased into the corner of the couch and leaned back. She crossed her arms and pouted her lower lip, "I…I have not! I have no idea what you are talking about!"

Lilly laughed and sat crossed legged on the sofa as she turned her body to face Amber, "Oh please…'Miley that skirt looks great on you…you have a lovely figure.' 'Oh, Miley you are so cute…giggle giggle.' 'Miley, stop…you are being so bad and need to be spanked.' Don't tell me you are not flirting with her."

Amber turned her head up in a lofty manner, "I am just giving her compliments!"

Lilly scooted closer and tried to take her hand but Amber pulled away, "Yeah telling her she needs a spanking it giving her a compliment. Look, Amber, I am not jealous, baby. If she has a crush on you then she has a crush on you. I trust you and I really trust her. She would never do anything to hurt me."

Amber tried move as far away from Lilly as she could and sank deeper into the corner of the couch. "Oh you trust me but you 'really trust' her! Does that mean you trust her more than me? I like how you said she would never do anything to hurt you but you left me out of that equation! I guess you think I would do something, huh? Well screw you Lilly Truscott! Oh wait…I can't say that since you won't even do that to me!"

Lilly did not rise to Amber's attempt to start a fight. One she was not jealous of Amber or Miley and two she knew Amber despite what Amber said she was frustrated she would not have sex with the Goth girl. Lilly pulled Amber to her hard as she lay back on the couch and the smaller girl fell on top of her. Lilly held Amber tight and started kissing her neck and her girlfriend tried to struggle. Soon Amber was grinding her pelvis against Lilly and moaning.

"Ohhh…yes, Lilly…that feels good…please more…fuck me Lilly…please I need you to fuck me!" Amber pleaded as Lilly nibbled her ear. Lilly pulled Amber's skirt up and grabbed the girl's butt hard and pulled her tighter to her and ran her fingers under her panties. Amber gasped in pleasure and continued to beg the blonde to have sex with her. Soon Lilly felt Amber trying to unbutton her jeans and she smiled as the girl muttered something about how Lilly should wear dresses to make thing easier. Amber finally managed to get her jeans unbuttoned and pushed her hand down the blondes pants and under her panties. Lilly moaned as Amber's finger touched her clit and she pushed her own hand down the brunette's panties and inserted her finger in the girl again. Amber let out a loud gasp of pleasure and grinded her butt on Lilly's hand. Once again the images came into Lilly's mind and she tried to push them away but could not. She pushed Amber off her and Amber fell to the floor panting.

"Amber, we can't…not here…someone may walk in." Lilly said also breathing hard.

Amber smiled and crawled between Lilly's thighs and kissed her pelvic area through the jeans. "Take me somewhere, love. Take me anywhere. The beach, your car, anywhere…just make love to me. I want you so bad." Amber begged as she kissed Lilly's thighs.

Lilly moaned, "Ohhh, God…Amber we can't. Natalie and Jackson will be here soon and Miley…fuck that feels good…we can't just leave."

Amber had placed her fingers inside Lilly's jeans and inserted one under the girl's panties and then inside her and smiled at how wet Lilly was. "Umm…you are so wet…you want me, I know you do…please, Lilly…I'll do anything for you. Anything you ask of me. We have time and Jackson and Miley can watch Natalie for a while. Please, love…I need you. I need you to make love to me. I need to please you. I'll let you do anything to me, love." Amber begged as she continued to finger and kiss Lilly.

Lilly moaned in pleasure but found the strength to push Amber away. She pushed her girlfriend back with more force than she intended and Amber fell back on the floor hard. "Stop, Amber…we can't! I can't and…and I don't know how you can either!"

Amber looked up and the blonde, "What do you mean you don't know how I can't? What does the mean?"

Lilly sighed loudly as she buttoned up her jeans. She stood up and walked to the kitchen. "Nothing…let's just get a snack and wait for the others." Lilly was not hungry but she wanted to avoid having to explain to Amber what she meant. Amber stood up and followed her but was not going to let the comment go without an explanation. An explanation she knew the answer to but wanted Lilly to say it regardless of how much it was going to hurt her.

"No, don't walk away from me, Lilly Truscott! I want to know what you meant! Have the courage to tell me!" Amber yelled.

Lilly turned around; her anger was rising due to the frustration of not being able to have sex, her frustration of not being able to help Amber when her uncle raped her, and even frustration that Amber allowed it to happen. "Why ask, Amber? You knew what I meant! You know damn well what I mean!"

Amber smiled cruelly, "Yes I know…but I want you to say it! I want you to tell me why you cannot fuck me! Don't be a coward, Lilly!"

Lilly looked at her feet for a moment and then back into Amber's eyes, "Fine…I don't know how you can want to have sex with me or anyone for that matter after what your uncle does to you! How can you be so turned on by me and want me and then go home and let that man do those things to you? How can you even think about sex after what he does to you? I don't understand how you can let him do that and not tell someone who can help or go to the police! Is that what you wanted to hear, Amber? Is that what you knew I was going to say?"

Amber staggered back as if she had been hit. She knew what was on Lilly's mind and she even dared Lilly to tell her. But hearing it was a blow to her. "I…you…you know why! You know why I do it…why I have to! How can I let that poor girl suffer those things…and she will when she gets older or even sooner than…than I thought. I see the way he is looking at her now. She…she is getting more beautiful everyday and I see him staring at her. I have seen his eyes as he watches that woman spank her and…and I know…oh trust me on this one…I know how it turns him on." Amber started to cry and walked to Lilly and took her hands in hers. "How, love…how can I let him do that to her? If…if I give him what he desires he will leave her alone. Please see that, love. You…you have to know it is just my body he uses and nothing else. My heart, mind, and soul are not there when he does things to me. Those are yours, my love. My heart, mind, and soul are yours and it is an empty shell he uses." Amber tried to wrap her arms around Lilly, but the blonde pulled away. Lilly did not mean to step back but she was repulsed at Amber's words. They never talked about that part of Amber's life. The days they spent in Lilly's bed Amber talked a little about the abuse she suffered from the woman but never what her uncle did to her.

"Go to the police, Amber…anybody…the school counselor or…anybody! You can do that!"

Amber's face was twisted in pain at Lilly's rebuff of her and she cried harder, "They…they can't help! They won't believe me and…and then if they did what then? Where would Natalie go? She could end up in a worse home…if one exists. She could be subjected to worse and I won't be there to protect her. I…I can protect her now and that is why I do it! I thought…I thought you were different than others…I thought you would understand." Amber once again tried to hug the blonde but Lilly backed away further.

Amber cried out with heartbreaking pain, "Please…please hold me, Lilly. I need you to tell me you understand and to love me."

Lilly looked at the other girl and then at her feet again, "I…I can't hold you right now…I love you, Amber, but right now I can't touch you."

"Why?" Amber screamed, "You…you think I enjoy it don't you! You think I enjoy being his whore is that it? You think I like it when…when he makes me put it in my mouth and kiss it and suck it! You think I enjoy when he does things to me!"

Lilly started crying now, "No…please…please don't say that! I don't…I swear I don't! Please, Amber…please don't!" Lilly begged and then she tried to hug Amber but this time the Goth girl backed up.

"No…you wanted to hear it so fucking listen to me, Lilly! You think that…I know you do! You think I like it when he makes me wear disgusting outfits and dress up for him and play his sick games! Admit it, Lilly; admit you think I like it when he puts things inside of me and things in my ass that hurt me! You think I enjoy it when he spanks me with the riding crop and hurts me and…and makes me act like I enjoy it! Tell me, Lilly! Fucking tell me you think I enjoy being his whore!" Amber screamed and Lilly put her hands over her ears and begged her to stop, But Amber continued.

"Did you know I used to enjoy things like that? Did you know I used to love it and get so hot and aroused when Samantha used to dominant me like that and I would beg and beg her to make me cum when she spanked me or tied me up…or fucked my ass! You never knew that about me did you, Lilly? You never knew I enjoyed being her slut and whore! I would beg her to do those things to me! I would beg to be her whore and enjoyed all of it! You know why I never told you those things…because of this! Because I knew you would think I enjoy when that man does the things I used to beg other lovers to do to me!"

Lilly fell on her butt on the kitchen floor, "Stop! Please stop it! I…I don't want to hear anymore!"

"Fuck you, Lilly Truscott! You are like everyone else! You are not different…you look at me and see a whore…a whore you won't fuck as much as she begs you to because I disgust you! I…I would have done those things for you! I would have gladly done those things for you if it pleased you…I would have begged you to fuck me and use me like a slut if you wanted to…because I love you!"

Amber stood there staring at Lilly; both girls crying when the door opened and Miley walked in.

"What's up, girls…sorry I was…" Miley saw the scene, "What…what is going on. Lilly…Amber…are you two alright?" She asked with concern in her voice.

Lilly stood up and wiped her eyes and Amber did not turn around. "Yeah…just…just…I need…I need to go for a walk." Lilly walked past Amber and turned her body to avoid Amber's attempt to reach out to her and walked out the patio door to the beach. Amber turned and faced Miley. The tall brown haired girl saw she was also crying.

"Amber…you ok? What happened?" Miley asked and before Amber could respond Jackson walked in with Natalie. When the girl saw Amber she smiled.

"Ams!" Natalie cried out and ran to the older girl and hugged her. Amber hugged her back tight.

"I missed you, little peep. How was school?" Natalie looked up and saw her sister was crying.

"Ams…what's wrong? What…what happened?" The girl asked in a scared voice. Natalie just hugged her tighter.

"Nothing's wrong, sweetie. She and Lilly had a small fight. Why don't you let Jackson take you to Rico's for a snack while Amber and I talk for a bit?" Miley said and Natalie nodded as she broke the hug. Amber gave Miley a grateful look and saw the other girl whisper something to Jackson. The boy nodded and held out his hand.

"Come on, little monkey, I bet Rico will let you have a hot dog." Natalie smiled and hugged Amber quickly.

"It'll be ok; Ams, you and Lilly will make up and be friends again." She kissed Amber on the cheek and followed Jackson out the door. When they were gone Miley looked at Amber and gave her a questioning look.

"He'll keep her for a while. I told him to take my credit card and take her to the toy store at the mall after they got a snack. Now tell me what happened."

Amber looked at Miley and then ran to the other girl's arms and hugged her tight.

"Ohhh…Miley…she…she is going to break up with me…I…I think she is seeing someone else!" Amber cried in Miley's chest. Miley chuckled.

"Don't be silly, Amber. I know Lilly. She is not seeing someone else and if she was she would tell me."

Amber looked up into the girl's lovely brown eyes, "No…I…Miley she does not want me…I mean really want me…you know…sexually. We…we only had sex one time and that was weeks ago and now every time I try she pushes me away. What else could it be? She does not find me pretty and does not want me. She is disgusted by me. I see it n her eyes when I kiss her and try to seduce her."

Miley was shocked. She knew Lilly intimately and knew the blonde was a very sexual person and almost insatiable when it came to sex. Then Amber was a very pretty sexy girl that Miley found impossible that Lilly could not want her sexually and that shocked her as well. She thought there must really be something wrong if Lilly did not want to have sex with Amber. She did not think Lilly was seeing anyone else…surely Lilly would have told her, but then again, her best friend was very private about some things in her life. She took a deep breath and inhaled Amber's scent of her hair by accident and thought how much she desired the girl and then drove that thought from her mind with guilt. She led Amber to the couch and sat her down. Amber clutched Miley and would not let her go as she cried. Miley gently pushed Amber's head up and smiled as she pushed the girl's hair back and then started separating the red locks from the black hair and twisted them in a braid. Amber moaned in pleasure and Miley felt a shiver of excitement run through her at the sound.

"I…I like that…a good friend of mine used to do that all the time for me when I was sad." Amber whispered and Miley smiled and continued to braid the red locks.

"Shh…lets talk about what happened. I…well…I don't know why Lilly won't…well…you know. But she is not seeing another person…I just can't believe that."

Amber nodded, "Then why, Miley…why does she push me away when I want to. Am…am I that ugly to her? I…I know I am not as pretty as she is…or as pretty as you…but I thought I was at least cute. I…I…she does not desire me and it is either she does not find me attractive or…or she is seeing someone else. I…maybe…damn…I know she told you, Miley…about my aunt and what she does. Maybe Lilly is with me out of pity and…and does not love me."

Miley sighed and started braiding Amber's other lock of hair, "Yes, Amber…I know…Lilly told me. I…hell I don't know why she does not desire you. You are so damn pretty and sexy and…well…I think you are so fucking hot! Sorry...it may not be my place to say that, but you are, Amber, and anyone who does not think so is an idiot and that includes my best friend! But…no I just can't see her dating anyone else…she cares for you a great deal and she loves you. I know that…she tells me all the time."

Amber smiled at Lilly, "You are very sweet to tell me I am pretty. You are to…you are very pretty and sexy. But…maybe Lilly does care for me and loves me…but…but maybe for the wrong reason. Maybe she loves me out of pity for me and Natalie." Amber let Miley finish her hair and placed her head back on Miley's chest. Miley flinched in shock and even pleasure as Amber accidentally brushed her nipple with her mouth as she sought comfort in Miley. Miley loved how Amber held her and felt desire coarse through her as she comforted the girl.

"Shhh…it's ok, sweetie, it's ok…I…I don't know what to tell you…maybe…well…maybe she loves you as she loves me…as a friend and she does not know how to tell you…I know it hurts to hear it, but…I don't know, baby, I don't know how what to tell you. Lilly is a very good person. A lot better than me…and a very caring person and very loyal and if she was seeing someone else she would tell you. I know she would." Miley inhaled Amber's scent again; this time on purpose and felt herself get more aroused. She wanted to push Amber off her but she did not have the willpower. She liked holding the small girl in her arms. Amber was so petite and sexy and venerable and Miley found that very exciting.

Amber placed her head tighter to Miley's chest, "She…she got mad at me because…because of you…of us."

Miley looked down at Amber's pretty face, "Of us…I don't understand."

Amber looked up and smiled, "She…well she got jealous of the way we flirt and…and accused me of…she said I…we…oh, Miley…I am so sorry…but I can't help it."

"Help what, Amber?"

Amber lifted her head and brought her face close to Miley's and ran her finger's through the girl's long brown hair, "Miley…I…I did not mean for it to happen…but…I…I like you…I have a crush on you and…I flirted with you and…Lilly got jealous of that. I love her…I love her so much…but…you drive me crazy and…oh God I am so sorry."

Miley knew in her heart that she should walk away right now and let Amber and Lilly deal with this problem themselves, but she did not have the will to do so. With Amber's face so close to her and the girl touching her she could not move away. Miley closed her eyes as Amber pushed her hair back behind her ears and sighed in pleasure. She opened her eyes suddenly and looked into Amber's brilliant green eyes.

"Ummm…Amber…p-p-please…n-no…Lilly is my best friend and…and I…I love her and I can't hurt her…please, Amber…don't. I…I can't stop if you…you kiss me. I…I have a crush on you to…but don't…please don't." Miley begged the girl not to continue and Amber smiled as she bit her lower lip.

"I know, baby…I know and I love Lilly too…but…but you make me crazy and…oh I have to, Miley…I have to at least kiss you one time. I…we…you and I…maybe…God help me, Miley…but I have to...you…you are so sexy and beautiful." Amber leaned in and her lips lightly brushed Miley's and the other girl did not pull away and this caused Amber to press her lips tighter and then soon Miley moaned in pleasure and opened her mouth and she felt Amber's tongue enter her mouth and she sucked it in greedily. Miley kissed the girl back hard and ran her own tongue around Amber's and heard the Goth girl moan in response. Miley wrapped her arms around Amber and felt the girl do the same to her and then she fell backwards on the couch and pulled Amber on top of her. She knew she should stop and push the girl away, but her mind no longer controlled her. Her body and lusts took over her as Amber started kissing her neck.

"Ohhhh…God…please!" Miley moaned out. It was a moan of combined pleasure, guilt, and pleading that Amber ignored.


	14. Chapter 14

Lilly left Miley's house and turned once to see Jackson pull up in the driveway with Natalie. She sighed and hoped Amber would not go home right away; she did not want the two girls to have to go to_ that_ house so early. Amber told her it was nice getting home later since her aunt was normally very drunk and stoned from her pills later at night and they could avoid her and it gave her a lot of time with Natalie alone. The blonde walked to the ocean and walked down the beach as tears came down her cheeks. She did not mean to say the things to Amber she said and she did not want to get mad at the girl but her own helplessness and frustrations got in the way. Of course Lilly did not believe Amber enjoyed what her uncle did to her and while her girlfriend's revelation about her past sexual desires was a slight shock, Lilly knew from just their one day in bed Amber was a submissive lover and she could not hold what she did against her. Hell, Lilly herself was a dominant lover and liked to get kinky and experiment sexually as well and the things she did with Miley and Allison would be very similar to what Amber did in her past. She just wished it would not have been thrown in her face like it was. Lilly walked to the pier crying and wished it was open so she could sit and watch the ocean as she thought of what to do. Instead she sat next to the water and let the surf wash over her feet as she thought and cried.

She knew she loved Amber a great deal and that surprised her. Lilly was not one to fall in love so easily and so quickly, but she did love Amber. She tried to talk herself into believing it was love out of pity for the girl but that was not true. Yes she pitied Amber and Natalie, but she knew she would love the girl if her home life was like the ideal family. No, the blonde knew she loved the Goth girl and she was hurting. She was hurting she could not express that love sexually, she was hurting at the words she used with Amber tonight, and she was hurting knowing what the poor girl had to endure in her home life and she could not stop it. Lilly knew it was wrong of her to ask Amber to go to the police or anyone and let them take Natalie away. She knew Amber was right; she saw the conditions foster home kids can end up in and heard all about the abuse and rape they suffer. Lilly saw it as Lola when her and Hannah Montana toured the homes and met with counselors and volunteers and listened to the horror stories about what young girls and boys experience in those homes. They told the girl's the most attractive girls and boys suffer the most and Lilly knew as beautiful as Natalie was she would be tormented and abused in horrible ways. Lilly drew her knees to her chin and wrapped her arms around her legs and rocked back and forth as she cried. She felt so helpless and wanted to help Amber and Natalie but did not know how. She had wild thoughts of helping Amber runaway with the young girl and she would even go with them to Mexico, but she knew that was stupid. Both her and Amber would be arrested for kidnapping. She did not know what to do and it broke her heart. Lilly even let a brief moment of regret enter her mind. Regret that she ever talked to Amber that day during lunch and ever met the girl. Lilly entered the first day of school so happy and excited. She was full of confidence that her senior year was going to be the best ever. She was one of the most prettiest and one of the most popular girls in school and knew it. She was popular with all clicks because she was so cool. Everyone liked her with only a few exceptions; they liked her better than they did Miley and Lilly loved that. She sometimes got jealous of Miley…well the girl's Hannah Montana alter ego…and the attention she got, the money she had and the nice clothes but as Miley Stewart Lilly Truscott was more popular at school and had more friends and Lilly enjoyed that. She adored Miley a great deal but she also knew the girls faults. Miley could be selfish and does feel the world revolves around her, but Lilly never complained. She never expressed her displeasure when she needed comfort and Miley was either not there or when she was the girl made Lilly's problems all about her. Lilly never said a word and she never would because Miley was her best friend and she loved her unconditionally. Her thoughts turned back to Amber and she sighed with guilt at the regret about meeting the strange yet intriguing Goth girl. The girl made her happy most of the time and she never felt such love for another person in such a passionate way. She loved Miley, she loved Miley a great deal but it was different. It was not passion like she felt with Amber and her love was not filled with such desire as she felt with Amber. Just because she could not have sex with the girl did not mean she did not desire her. Amber made Lilly feel so needed and wanted, something no one she ever dated made her feel. Amber made her feel loved a great deal with her actions and words and Lilly liked that. She truly never met anyone like Amber St. Claire and through the good and bad she was happy the girl was her girlfriend and loved her back.

Lilly cried harder as she thought of the things her girlfriend had to endure and she did know why Amber did endure those things. She wished she could understand them better, but she could not since she never had to experience such abuse and pain in her life. When her father and mother divorced Lilly felt heart ache like she never experienced and when she would listen to her mom cry over what her father did to her, Lilly thought she would never heal. But she knew what she felt when she was younger was nothing compared to the pain Amber felt; both physical and emotional. At times she did not even know how the girl survived through it all. Lilly thought when Amber phased out at times it was the girl's escape into a world where she was safe. The blonde wished Amber would let her into that world at times but she never did. Lilly knew it was a world just for Amber. A world filled with parents she loved, a brother she looked up to, a best friend she adored, and even a girlfriend she loved more than she could ever love one that was alive. Amber told her one time to never be jealous of a ghost but she was. She could not help it. Lilly wiped her eyes and looked at her watch. She had been gone for over an hour. She stood and brushed the sand from her jeans and decided to go get her car and go home. She would apologize to Amber in the morning and do her best to make up to the girl for the things she said. Lilly walked back to Miley's house and saw Miley's car in the driveway and not Jackson's. She assumed Jackson took Amber and Natalie home and thought maybe she should go talk to Miley. To cry on her best friend's shoulder, but decided against it. She just wanted to be alone tonight and sulk in her self pity and punish herself for the things she said to Amber. She knew she would think about the girl's uncle coming into Amber's room and doing the things her did and she would suffer heart ache over it and shed a lot of tears, but she felt she deserved to feel it tonight for what she did to the girl she loved. The blonde got into her car and drove home.

Miley moaned out pleas for Amber to stop and moans of pleasure at the Goth girl kissed her neck and straddled her. Amber rubbed her pelvis over Miley's and to the taller girl it felt wonderful. The whole experience was wonderful; the kisses, the rubbing against her pussy, and the words of desire and wanting Amber whispered in her ear. Miley knew it was wrong and she pleaded for Amber to stop, but she also knew she did not mean it or want the girl to stop. Miley was larger and much stronger and if she truly wanted Amber to stop all she had to do was make her. But she didn't, she did not have the willpower so all she could do was plead with Amber to stop kissing her and rubbing against her and hope Amber would stop even if she did not want the girl to stop. Miley let out a loud gasp of surprise and pleasure as Amber ripped open her blouse and scattered the buttons over the couch and floor.

"Ohhhh….God…no please, Amber…no…we can't…" Miley pleaded louder. She knew her body and she knew once Amber kissed her nipples she would never stop. Miley loved her nipples sucked, tweaked, and even bitten softly to where it caused her a little pain. As she begged for the girl to stop she thrust her butt up to meet Amber's grinding.

Amber smiled down at Miley and pulled the girl's blue bra aside and took the beautiful brown nipple in her mouth. She felt Miley thrust up to meet her own thrusts and loved how Miley moaned loudly when her mouth drew the nipple in and she tickled it with her tongue. Amber knew Miley wanted her and she knew by the girl's actions she was not going to stop her. Miley was stronger than her and if she really wanted to stop she would have pushed her off by now. Amber also knew she had to take an aggressive role, something she really preferred not to do but would tonight. The Goth girl was submissive sexually but all her previous lovers where dominant and she knew from her experiences with them she could play the role when needed. They taught her how to control a submissive lover and Amber soon realized Miley was just that. She took her lips off Miley's nipple and replaced it with her fingers while she licked up the girl's neck and nibble her ear.

"Miley…I want you…I want you so bad. Fuck me, Miley! Fuck me and I will please you anyway you want. I'll do anything just to taste you." Amber whispered in Miley's ear. "You are so beautiful and sexy and I want you so bad."

"Ohhh…please…fuuuuck…that feels good…stop…please Amber…we can't…ohhhhhh Gooooood….yes…more…yes I will fuck you…don't stop…ouuuuch fuuuck that hurts but feels good. Please…please don't stoooop!" Miley screamed out as Amber took her mouth and placed it back on her nipple and bit it harder than anyone ever did. Pain shout through Miley's nerves but it felt so good and all thoughts of how wrong what they were doing was left her mind and she just wanted Amber.

As Amber bit the girl's nipple she placed her right hand under her own panties and inserted a finger into her very wet pussy. Amber moaned at the pleasure as she continued to tease and torture Miley's nipples. She twirled her finger and after a moment withdrew it and placed it on Miley's lip.

"Taste me, Miley, taste me." Amber begged as Miley opened her mouth and sucked her finger. Miley moaned at the wonderful taste and sucked Amber's finger harder. She was beyond stopping now and even through she knew it was wrong she was going to have sex with Amber and worry about the guilt later. She pulled Amber's head off her breasts and kissed the other girl.

"Amber…lets go to my room…fuck me…I want you to taste me and then I want to taste and fuck you." Miley gasped out as Amber continued to play with her erect nipples. Miley pushed Amber off her and stood up as she pulled Amber to her feet as well. Miley ran to her room while dragging Amber behind her. Once in the room Amber laid down on the bed and as Miley tried to lay next to her she pushed Miley away with her foot hard which almost made Miley fall. The tall brown haired girl looked at Amber who was running her forefinger up and down her body seductively. Amber smiled as she pulled up her skirt and pulled down her panties and tossed them to the floor.

"Just watch me, Miley…don't move and watch me for a moment." Amber said in a commanding voice. Miley looked as Amber spread her legs and took both of her hands and placed them on her thighs. She then used her hands and spread her private lips apart and let Miley see her exposed pussy which glistened with moisture. Miley stared fascinated at the sight of Amber's small pussy. Miley thought it looked so beautiful and loved that Amber had no hair between her legs. She wanted to crawl between those legs and kiss and taste the girl, but she did as she was told and did not move. Amber closed her eyes and threw her head back in pleasure as she inserted a finger in her soaked pussy and fingered herself. She moaned and thrust and teased Miley as she please her own body. After a few more moments, Amber withdrew her finger and placed it in her own mouth and moaned at the wonderful taste. She then looked at Miley and smiled seductively.

"Take off your clothes, baby…I want to watch you and look at your wonderful body. Do it slowly." Amber ordered and Miley felt a shiver of pleasure at being ordered around by the other girl. She removed her already unbuttoned top slowly and then her bra and smiled when she heard Amber gasp at the sight of her breasts. Next Miley unbuttoned her white jeans slowly and pulled them down in a teasing fashion. As she put her hands in the waist band of her panties Amber stopped her.

"No! Turn around. I want to see your butt. Take them off slowly and bend over as you pull them off." Miley looked at Amber and placed her finger in her mouth and nodded. She paused before she turned around to watch Amber pull off her skirt and remove her blouse and stared at the girl she thought was very sexy as the Goth girl ran her fingers gently down her own body. Amber raised and eyebrow, "Well…what are you waiting for…do it!" She commanded and Miley turned around. Amber smiled, she could get used to the dominant role every once and a while. It was fun.

Miley pulled down her blue panties slowly and bent over to expose her butt to Amber and as she was about to kick the panties away with her feet Amber stopped her again.

"No…I said slowly…that was too fast. Pull them up and do it again." Miley nodded and repeated the process. After five times Amber seemed satisfied and told Miley to stay bent over and not to move. Miley was starting to get a little scared. Amber was showing her a different side than the sweet, nervous, prissy girl she thought she knew. This Amber was commanding, forceful, and dominant. Miley realized she truly did not know Amber well and maybe the girl would hurt her. The thought made Miley a little afraid but also aroused and thrilled her sexually as she waited in the middle of her bedroom naked and bent over to expose herself to the Goth girl. She shivered in that fear and excitement as she heard Amber get off the bed. Miley looked behind her and saw Amber walking to her wearing nothing but her bra and she swallowed hard when she saw Amber had picked up her hair brush. Miley turned her head and closed her eyes as she waited for what she knew was going to happen and the thought of it thrilled her.

Amber walked to Miley holding the girl's heavy brush and smiled. She thought Miley had a wonderful butt and she looked so sexy bent over, exposing herself, and her long brown hair flowing to the floor. Amber wanted to hurt the girl, she wanted to cause the girl pain for loving Lilly and for thinking she could take Lilly away from her. They told her that was what Miley was going to do and they would never lie to her; they loved her. Amber ran her hand over Miley's butt and relished on how firm it was and enjoyed the girl's slight whimper of what was to come. Amber raised the brush over her head and brought it down hard on the tan butt and smiled as Miley let out a cry of pain. Amber raised the brush again and once more brought the flat plastic side down on the girl's butt and grinned at the redness now appearing on the Miley's butt.

Miley's body jerked at the burning pain on her butt and cried out. She had never been spanked in her life like Amber was spanking her. She thought the girl would spank her playfully like Lilly had done many times and cause her just a little pain, but Amber hit her butt with as much strength as the little girl could and her ass burned. She cried out a third time as the brush hit her and tried to get away but Amber grabbed her hair and pulled her back hard.

"No! You are going to take it you slut!" Amber yelled at her and Miley whimpered. She knew she could overpower Amber if she had to, but fear held her in place. Fear and excitement; Miley got very excited with the burning pain and while she cried out and struggled to get away it turned her on more than she ever had been in the past and when Amber called her a slut she felt excitement coarse through her. She was enjoying being dominated by the petite Goth girl. When she and Lilly were involve in their sexual relationship, the blonde was the dominate one and Miley preferred it that way. After the third swat on her butt Miley felt the tears run down her cheeks and begged Amber to stop, but the girl just kept spanking her harder and Miley felt so aroused she thought she could orgasm just from the slightest touch on her clit. She endured four more hits and then suddenly Amber stopped and Miley felt the girl drop to her knees and hug her legs and then place light kisses in her red burning ass.

"Miley…Oh God I…I am so sorry…I…ohhh…please, Miley…forgive me. I am so sorry." Amber cried in between kisses on Miley's butt. As she was spanking Miley and trying her best to hurt the girl her mind flashed to how much she was enjoying the cries and whimpers of pain coming from the other girl's mouth and then something in her mixed up mind clicked and she realized what she was doing. She was trying to hurt someone who had been so kind to her and to Natalie. She was acting like her aunt and that hurt her. She dropped the brush and dropped to her knees and kissed this sweet girl's butt and begged forgiveness.

Miley got on her knees and turned around and took Amber in her arms and kissed her neck while holding her tight. "Shhh…its ok, baby…shhh…I…well…I kind of…well…hell, it turned me on." Miley chuckled, "It hurt like hell, but it excited me. Shhh…its ok, Amber." Miley felt Amber press against her hard and then she smaller girl pressed her lips against Miley's and kissed her passionately. After a few moments she broke the kiss and looked into those pretty brown eyes.

"Miley…do…do you still want to. I…I want you so bad…more now than before. Please let me show you how I really am and let me make love to you. Please, Miley…I need to. I…I need to feel you and taste you and make you cum." Amber begged in a high pitched voice.

Miley looked into the girl's brilliant green eyes and knew she could not resist and she kissed Amber again and then stood the girl up and led her to the bed. Both girls feel down and kissed and Amber positioned her self on top of Miley and kissed all the way down the girl's body until she placed her head between the girl's spread thighs. Amber teased Miley's clit and pussy with her fingers and then brought her mouth to the wet area and kissed her gently. Miley moaned in pleasure as the girl kissed and fingered her and Miley started playing with her own nipples. Twisting them and pinching them hard as Amber pleased her. Miley felt close to orgasm when she felt Amber lift her legs higher and spread them more and she moaned loudly as the girl's fingers rapidly tickle her clit and knew she was close to cumming. Miley's eyes then flew open in shock as she felt Amber's tongue lick her ass and then penetrate her tight hole. She moaned at the pleasant and odd sensation but still grabbed Amber's head.

"Wh…what…I…I never done…that before…I…I…" Miley said between her gasps of breath and she saw Amber smile sweetly.

"Shh…just enjoy it, baby. I won't hurt you…I promise." Miley lay her head back on the pillow and allowed Amber to take control and moaned again as the girl continued what she was doing. Miley felt herself once again close to orgasm and the pleasant sensation of Amber's tongue in her ass added to her arousal. She moaned she was going to cum and felt Amber quickly bring her tongue back to her clit and place three small fingers on her pussy. Miley screamed in pleasure as she grabbed Amber's head and begged her not to stop and just as her orgasm was about to hit her she felt Amber slid a finger from her other hand in her ass. Miley jerked on a little pain and then came. She bucked her pelvis up to meet Amber's fingers in her pussy and ass and the girl's tongue on her clit. Miley screamed out loudly and her body shook as she came. She never felt such strange pleasure as Amber thrust her fingers in her pussy and ass at the same time. It felt wonderful. After a long orgasm Miley finally begged Amber to stop teasing her and with her legs shaking beyond her control she pulled the Goth girl to her and breathlessly kissed her lips, tasting herself on the girl's lips. When Miley was finally able to calm down she placed Amber on her back and kissed her deep and passionate for a few moments as Amber wrapped her arms and legs around her.

"Ohh God, Amber…that was…well...damn that was incredible! Now I want to please you." Miley smiled and kissed Amber's neck and eased her hand under the girl's bra. Amber was moaning and grinding her self against Miley when she stopped suddenly. She pulled Miley off her gently and placed her hand across her chest.

"No…please, Miley…don't. Not there, please. Just…just do me like I did you. Don't take off my bra, please." Amber pleaded and Miley smiled as she moved Amber's hands off her chest.

"Shh…I want to see them, baby. I want to suck them. I am sure they are beautiful." Miley whispered as she thought Amber may have been a little uneasy with the size of her breasts. Amber whimpered out a begging no but Miley ignored her and pulled her bra aside to uncover the girl's right breasts. She smiled, "Wow…they are lovely, Amber. They are just perfect." Miley said as she stared at the small but well shaped breast that was upturned slightly and tipped with a perfect pink nipple, which was erect from pleasure. Miley kissed it and sucked the nipple and smiled as she bit it gently and heard Amber let out a moan of pleasure. Miley moved her hand to Amber's left breast but once again Amber stopped her.

"No…please, Miley…please…I don't want you to see it." Amber begged.

"Amber, you have wonderful breasts…I love them." Miley smiled down at the girl. Amber sighed and sat up. "Ok…but let me do it." Amber said and unhooked her bra in the back. She gripped the cups of her bra and smiled shyly at Miley and slowly lowered her hands. Miley's look of lust turned to one of horror as she saw the W burned into Amber's left breast.

Amber covered her breasts with her hands, "See…I told you…I…they used to be so cute, Miley, and…and…ohhh why did you make me…" Amber started crying and turned to her side away from the other girl. Miley lay down next to her and held her close.

"Did…did she do that to you, Amber." Miley asked and Amber nodded.

"She…she said I was a whore and had to be branded…she…she did it…because…because I brought Natalie those dresses and she…the woman…said I was turning Natalie into a whore like…like me." Miley hugged Amber tighter. She knew from what Lilly told her about what Amber and Natalie endured at the hands of the girl's aunt but she did not know how bad it was. Miley remember burning her hand on a hot stove a couple of years ago and how painful the less than a second burn felt and she could not imagine the pain Amber felt to have the W branded into her flesh. She knew to make a scar like the one Amber had the hot metal had to be held in place for a long time. Amber turned to face Miley. "Miley…I…I am not a whore am I? I mean…please don't think I am a whore after the things I have done or will do." Miley kissed Amber's tears away and then gently kissed Amber's scar.

"Amber, you are not a whore and you are so lovely." Miley whispered as she rolled Amber on her back and began kissing down the girl's body. Amber let out a small gasp of pleasure as Miley inserted a finger inside her.

"Make me cum; Miley…I need to cum." Amber begged and moaned as Miley ran her tongue inside Amber.

Miley made bought Amber to orgasm quickly and after a very short rest the two girls made love again. The second time Amber was on top of Miley with her head between Miley's lovely thighs and her butt was in Miley's face. Both girls had another orgasm almost together and when done Miley was laying on her side while Amber hugged her tightly from behind. Both girls did not say a word for over ten minutes when Miley broke the silence.

"Amber…what did we just do?" She asked the girl as she took Amber's hand and brought it to her lips and kissed it.

Amber giggled, "Well…we had wonderful sex. I came twice and so did you. I would love to do it again and again, but Jackson will be home soon with Natalie so I guess we have to get up." Amber kissed Miley's shoulder.

"No…I mean…what are we going to tell Lilly. Amber…we…we made a mistake didn't we?" Miley said and allowed Amber to role her over to face her.

Amber smiled, "Well it may have been a mistake, but it was a great one. You are a wonderful lover." She tried to kiss Miley, but the girl pushed her away.

"Amber, I'm serious. What we did to Lilly is…fuck…what do we tell her? She is going to be heartbroken. We have to tell her. How and what are we going to tell her? We fucked up, Amber. I…we should never have done this. I…I don't know why we did. Oh, God…I cannot believe I allowed you to do this to me…"

Amber's smile vanished, "Allowed me to do this to you. I did not hear you telling me to stop much...and soon you were begging me not to stop as I had a finger in your ass. You did it to me…twice. Lets be realistic here, Miley, I wanted you and you damn sure wanted me. Don't act all innocent and like a victim of a girl being seduced. You wanted me! You still want me! If we had time you would fuck me again and I damn sure want to fuck you again!" Miley's noticed Amber's voice was cold and calm. Amber got off the bed and started looking for her clothes. She pulled her panties on and looked at Miley. The girl had not moved. Amber rolled her eyes, "Better get up, baby. Jackson should be here soon."

Miley looked at Amber as the girl hooked her bra, "How can you be so fucking calm! I…I love Lilly and what we did was so wrong. She…ohhh God how do I tell her…she is never going to speak to me again. She is going to hate me forever!"

Amber walked over to the bed and sat down and ran her hand seductively up Miley's calf to her thigh. Miley jerked away. Amber giggled in a cruel way, "Oh and like I don't love her? Well I do, Miley, I love Lilly so much but again reality, dear. I wanted you so bad sexually and still do. You wanted me…don't deny it. I know you did. Hell, baby, you still do. If I had more time I would prove to you that you still wanted me. You will still want and desire me tomorrow and the next day and the next. I also am going to want you tomorrow and the next day and the next. But we are not going to do this again. It was a one time thing. It was great and wonderful, but I love Lilly also. Lilly and I don't have sex, which is heartbreaking. I told you earlier I think I disgust her for some reason and she won't have sex with me." Amber's voice softened, "Miley baby, I needed it…I needed to feel loved and desired and you gave me that. I do like you…I did not lie about that. You are sweet and kind and a good person. I know right now you feel terrible and awful about yourself. I feel the same way. But we did it Miley. We fucked each other and it was glorious and we cannot take it back, baby. I don't want to take it back. As for Lilly…I…we love her and we have two options. First, we tell her and we both lose her forever. Something I am not very keen on doing and I am sure you are not either. The second is we never mention what we did to her or anyone…including ourselves. I like the second one. I think it is going to be hard for both of us since I think you are like me and don't like lying…especially to someone you love like we love Lilly…but it beats losing her."

Miley sat up and gave Amber a hard look, "How can you be so fucking calm about it? You act like…like all we did was hide her birthday present or something."

Amber got up and picked up her skirt and put it on. "Miley, I am a realist…I…I had to become one the hard way. I used to be…well…that was a long time ago. I love her, Miley, I really do. Please don't think I don't. But I like you as well…stop looking at me like that…I don't love you and you sure as hell don't love me. We lust after each other that is all. It is going to be hard for me not to make love to you again…and hard for you…but we are not going to." Amber walked to Miley and touched her cheek. Miley did not pull away. She knew Amber was right. They had to keep their dirty secret if they were going to keep Lilly. Miley also realized Amber was right about another thing. She did want Amber again. If she was able to she would take the girl and throw her back in bed and ravish her all night long and beg Amber to do things to her like she did previously. She hated herself for that feeling. Amber kissed her cheek, "Baby, we can't hurt her…it would crush all three of us. Trust me, Miley…I may be acting all calm but I am dying on the inside and I don't know how I am going to face her tomorrow at school. But we have to…for the three of us…we are going to act like nothing happened and be the best of friends." Amber bent over and picked up her blouse and Miley nodded and got off the bed to get dressed. Amber went to the bathroom and fixed her makeup and brush her hair, she decided to keep the red locks braided, and as she looked in the mirror at herself she drove the disgust she felt for herself from her mind and decided she would worry about that latter. Regardless of what she told Miley, she hated what she did and to make it worse, she really did think Miley was a good sweet person and the sex was unexpectedly great.

They were only down stairs for a few moments when Jackson and Natalie came back. Natalie ran and hugged Amber and showed her the toy Jackson brought her. Miley had to laugh as the girl held up a Hannah Montana doll proudly.

"She is so great!" Natalie said. "Jackson said he is going to buy me the stage set for Christmas."

Amber smiled and Jackson and the boy blushed, "Well…I tried to make her get a GI Joe but she wanted Hannah. Beats me why…I mean that girl is terrible." He winked at Miley who gave him a cold look. "So, did Miley learn anything tonight? Teaching her math must be like trying to teach a fish to walk on land."

Amber giggled and turned to Miley, "Well…she knows more than she lets on. I did teach her a few new things…one in particular she never had to use…but she picked it up rather quickly and showed me how fast she expertly learned it when I asked her to show me." Amber winked at Miley and the girl blushed but gave her a cold stare.

Jackson drove Amber and Natalie home and when they left Miley went to her room and changed into her pajamas. She knew she should take a shower and wash Amber's scent from her body but she could not. She wanted the smell of the other girl on her. She also knew she should change the sheets on her bed but again she wanted to smell the scent of sex. Miley gripped her covers tight as she pulled them around her body and curled up in the bed. She allowed the tears to come as the guilt washed over her body. She felt guilty for what she did to Lilly and she felt guilty about what Amber told her. The Goth girl was right…Miley wanted her again and again and it was going to be hard not to act on that lust.


	15. Chapter 15

The next morning after her fight with Amber, Lilly reluctantly got out of her bed and turned off her alarm. She slept very little the night before as thoughts of the fight kept replaying in her mind and how she acted toward Amber. She was going to apologize and beg Amber to forgive her if she had to. She was so wrong and she knew it. Lilly was always one to admit when she made a mistake and she made one last night. Lilly yelled back out her mom when the woman told her to get up or she would be late and walked to the bathroom. She sighed as she saw how messy the bathroom was after her mother used it. She hated only having one bathroom in their small apartment and once again she felt envy of Miley and her huge bathroom she did not have to share with anyone. When showered and dressed she called Miley and told her she would pick her up in a few moments and was surprised Miley told her she wanted to drive herself. Lilly shrugged after she got off the phone and thought Miley sounded weird. _She must be pissed at the way I treated Amber last night…hell I don't blame her. She likes Amber and yeah I think she is crushing on her too_. Lilly thought and decided she had to smooth things over with Miley as well as Amber.

Lilly got to school and waited in front for Amber and as the bell rang to signal the start of homeroom, Amber had yet to show up. Lilly got scared. Amber always wanted to go to school because it was an escape from her home and Lilly knew for the girl to miss a day something must have happened. She walked into homeroom and slid in her desk behind Miley.

"Miley…hey Miles." Lilly whispered and saw Miley tense_. Damn she is really pissed._ _I wonder what Amber told her and how big of a bitch I was last night,_ Lilly thought and tapped Miley on the shoulder.

Miley slowly turned around, "What." She said sharply.

"Damn, Miles…I'm sorry ok. I'm sorry for being a bitch to Amber. I did not think…"

"Miss Truscott," The teacher interrupted her, "I know you are very excited to have Miley back in school, but could you please wait until I finish my announcements before you disturb the class again. I don't want to split you two up again this year."

"Yes, m'am." Lilly muttered as the class chuckled at her. She sank back into her desk blushing. She did not think Miley would be this pissed at her for getting into an argument with Amber. Hell, she expected her best friend to take her side. Lilly looked at the clock as their teacher droned on about the announcements.

After homeroom Lilly cornered Miley, who was trying to leave quickly, "Miley…ok you are pissed at me…fine. I was going to apologize to her today. I'm sorry for acting like a bitch…ok." Miley nodded and looked around nervously and Lilly continued, "But I haven't seen Amber today and I'm worried. Did she mention anything to you last night about missing school today?"

"No! Why should she? I mean…why should she talk to me? We didn't do…we didn't talk much last night after you left…ok…God stop giving me the third degree. I have to go! I don't want to be late for class." Miley turned and walked away quickly. Lilly gave her a curious look and shrugged her shoulders. _Must be PMSing. Miley always got very weird when she got close to her period,_ Lilly thought and looked at her watch. Lilly decided to ditch a couple of her classes and at least drive by Amber's aunt and uncle's house. Lilly drove by the house and did not see anything out of the ordinary and then thought how stupid she was. Of course she would not see anything out of the ordinary. _What did I expect…police tape around the house and them carting out Amber's body…stupid Truscott…so stupid!_ But in reality she was suspecting just that deep in her mind. Instead of driving back to school, Lilly went to a store and brought a prepaid cell phone and added a lot of minutes on it with her emergency credit card. She would have to explain to her mom when the bill came, but she did not care. Now she could give it to Amber and she could call or text the girl when she wanted to. Amber drove back to school hoping to see Amber soon. _Damn…this is driving me crazy! I really DO love that girl_, she thought with a smile.

Amber woke the next morning feeling guilty and ashamed of what she did with Miley. She buried the feelings of guilt with her other feelings. Over the past months, Amber had gotten to be an expert at burying her emotions and she locked the guilt of having sex with Miley in the room of her mind with the other feelings she buried. When the man came to her last night to use her, Amber actually relished the pain her gave her when he handcuffed her hands behind her, blindfolded her, gagged her mouth, and spanked her naked butt. She relished in the pain because she deserved it. She deserved the punishment for what she did to the girl she loved. Amber took the harsh beating with a strange pleasure as it helped ease her guilt if only for a little while. Then when the man used her body in perverse and humiliating ways, she gladly accepted that as well to continue her punishment for being unfaithful to her girlfriend. Amber did not even wash him off of herself after he left. She deserved his disgusting filth on her body. One thing about what the man did to her worried Amber quite a bit; he made her dress and act like a little girl. She was worried because if he made her act like a little girl then he may go after Natalie soon and that thought terrified Amber. After he left her she expected the voices to come to her as she wrote in her journal. She expected the cruel voices to tell her she did the right thing and to love her again. After all, she did what they wanted her to do. But only one came and it broke her heart to hear the words of that voice. That voice who never told her the words it told her last night. _"I am so ashamed of what you did! I thought my daughter was a better person than that, but she is just a whore! I thought I raised you to be a lady with class; not some cheap white trash whore! You shame me and I am no longer proud of you! I am ashamed you are my daughter!"_ The voice screamed at her and hearing it from her mother broke her heart. A woman she loved completely and idolized and worshipped and strived to be just like and who she wanted to be when she got older to tell her she was ashamed of her hurt her deeply. When she was in third grade they had a class assignment to write about their hero and who they wanted to be when they grew up and why. Most children wrote about athletes or the president, or even fantasy super heroes; but Amber wrote about her mother. Now to hear those words from her mother, a woman who was always proud of her and never ashamed of her tell her she was a whore made Amber feel she lost her mother twice. Amber begged forgiveness and for the other voices to explain why she did it, but they all just laughed at her. They were so cruel to her.

Amber got out of bed, did not even take a shower, brushed her hair, and made sure Natalie was dressed and ready for school. Natalie asked her if she was feeling good and Amber smiled at the girl and nodded. Natalie knew Amber's moods so well and just hugged the girl, whispered words of love, and left to catch the early bus. She would eat breakfast at school. Amber waited for the man to take her to school in the kitchen as she absent mindedly sipped her coffee. The man came into the kitchen and told her she looked terrible this morning without any makeup and laughed at her. He then pulled her to her feet and walked her to the downstairs bathroom. He pushed her to her knees and unzipped his pants mentioning to her he was horny and need a good blowjob to start his day. When he was done, Amber rinsed her mouth in the sink with warm water and the man told her he was now running late and could not give her a ride to school and she would have to ride the bus. He gave her a few dollars from his wallet and left her washing her mouth out.

Amber walked to the bus stop and waited for the bus that would take her to school and changed her mind. She did not want to face either Lilly or Miley right now and caught the bus that would take her to the direction of the beach. Amber did not know what she was going to do or where she was going as she walked the beach carrying her high heels in her hand and the stockings she took off in the other. The beach was not crowded on a Wednesday morning but she did have to rebuff the nice but obvious advances of one young jogger. He quickly resumed his jog when she mentioned she was only seventeen. Amber found herself in front of the pier and walked under the yellow safety tape and walked to the edge. She sat down and dangled her feet over the edge of the pier and looked out at the water.

"I did what you asked of me…why do you still hate me?" Amber asked aloud as she stared at the ocean. After a pause she answered the unseen voice that only she heard. "No…you said I had to…you said it was the only way to keep her. I love her so much. You loved me at one time and…and please…don't make me. I don't want to do it again." Amber paused to listen to her mind, "I know I enjoyed it, it…it was great, but…but it was wrong! I don't want to do it with her again!" Amber screamed, "Please…no more…Miley is too nice and it hurts her to be with me. Please no more! You promised me only the one time and I could keep Lilly!" Another pause, "No…how could I love her more than you…but I do love her. I could never love anyone more than you." Amber wiped the tears from her eyes as she waited. "I will…but Natalie has to be safe. I need to make her safe first. You must let me make her safe first!" She pleaded once again with the unseen. "Why…why do you hate me so much? All of you used to love me…I…I did as you asked me! I didn't want to do it but I did. You told me it was the only way to keep her!" Amber screamed at the voices in her head. She grabbed her head and shook it hard. "Stop! Please stop yelling all at once! I cannot understand you!" Amber screamed. After a moment she calmed down and looked up to the overcast sky as her mind went silent, "I want to talk to my mother!" She listened and cried harder at the answer, "Please! Please let me talk to mommy! I have to tell her I am sorry! Please…Mommy! Momma! Please be proud of me again! Please talk to me! Please make her understand! Tell her you made me do it! Tell her, Samantha! Tell her!" Amber placed her face in her hands and sobbed as she pleaded with the voice of her one time girlfriend. When the voice mocked her she pleaded with another, "Ran…you tell her! She will listen to you! She always loved you and adored you! You always protected me…protect me now! Please tell her why! Please explain why I did it!" Amber begged and pleaded but her pleas where just answered with laughter. After a long moment she looked up and saw the White Lady staring at her. The beautiful woman was hovering over the water and held her hands out. Amber let out a scream of fear and started to beg again, "Nooo! Not now! Please! You promised me! You promised me more time! You said I could make the Natalie safe first! Make her go away!" She closed her eyes and shook her head. When she opened them again the lady was gone.

Amber did not know how long she sat on the pier and cried as the voices left her but she was brought back to the real world when a police officer tapped her shoulder.

"Hey…you ok? I have been calling you for about twenty minutes. You can't stay here. The pier is closed." Amber stood and nodded.

"I'm sorry…I…I just needed to think. Please don't arrest me." She said as she wiped her eyes. The policeman chuckled.

"It is not a felony to be here. Shouldn't you be in school?" He said kindly. Amber nodded.

"Come on, I'll give you a ride. You sure you're alright?" Amber nodded and followed him to his car.

Lilly was sitting in the cafeteria eating lunch with Oliver; she was actually just playing with her food. Miley had met her in the hall earlier and nervously told her she had something to do during lunch and could not meet her. Lilly thought her best friend was acting weird all day. She looked at Oliver.

"Hey, notice anything strange with Miley today? She is acting so weird."

Oliver shrugged, "No…she seemed fine with me."

"Well she acts like she is pissed at me. She has been avoiding me all morning." Lilly thought for a moment and her eyes went wide, "You don't think she is seeing Jake again do you?"

Oliver laughed, "Hell no! From what you told me she is done with him. Miley does not have the best taste in dating…present company excluded of course…but she would not do that. Plus you said she only acted like she liked him to make her dad happy."

Lilly chewed her lower lip as she thought, "Yeah…your right…but damn she is acting strange to me." She looked up and all thoughts of Miley left her mind as she saw Amber walk into the cafeteria. Lilly smiled and then noticed something strange. The girl who normally had her hair fixed perfectly and makeup flawless now wore no makeup and her hair was all windblown looking. The blonde's smile vanished as fear gripped her. Lilly walked over to her quickly and gently grabbed her arm and pulled her into the hall. Once in the hall Amber stopped her.

"Lilly, what is going on? Where are we going?" Amber asked biting her lower lip. The first thought that ran through her mind was Miley cracked and told Lilly everything, but that thought vanished quickly when she saw concern and not anger in Lilly's eyes.

"Where have you been? I have been worried sick about you!" Lilly said a little too loudly and the few people in the hall stared at her. She pulled Amber into the bathroom and it was occupied by three junior girls. Lilly asked them to leave and the girls looked at one another and giggled. Everyone knew Lilly and the pretty but odd new girl were dating so the girls gave them some alone time. Plus they knew Lilly had a temper at times was not opposed to fighting when she thought it necessary. When alone Lilly locked the door and turned to Amber and saw the girl looking at herself in the mirror.

"God…I look terrible." She said and turned to Lilly with a frown on her face, "Why didn't you tell me I looked awful."

Lilly smiled and took Amber's hands in hers, "Amber you look lovely. I always thought you looked beautiful without makeup. But where were you this morning? I was so worried about you."

Amber smiled, "Sorry…I was not feeling good. You…you were worried about me? You're not still mad at me?" Amber asked in a childlike voice.

Lilly smiled back, "God no! I actually need to tell you how sorry I am about what I said and for walking out on you like that. I am very sorry, baby, I over reacted and I am so sorry. I…please forgive me, Amber. I swear I don't…" Amber placed her finger over Lilly's lips to silence her when she saw the blonde's eyes get watery.

"Shhh…hush, love, I am the one who should be apologizing. I said some mean things to you last night and…and I know I was wrong. I know you don't think I enjoy the things that man does…well…I know you hate it, baby. I know it hurts you and I am so sorry for that, Lilly. I wish it was different, baby. I wish everything was so different for you." Amber also felt her own eyes get watery and she swallowed hard and kissed Lilly's hands, "I am so sorry for _everything_ I did last night. Please forgive me. I need you to forgive me for the things I said and did last night." Amber kissed both of Lilly's hands passionately and looked into the girl's eyes as a tear ran down her own cheek, "I…I am sorry you ever met me, love. I…I wish you would walk away from me, Lilly. Please…walk away and never look back. I…I can't end it…I don't have the strength to, but you do. You are so strong and you can end it. Please, love, please walk away from me. I love you, Lilly. I love you very much and I would be heartbroken if you left me, but I think your heart will break if you stay and that would hurt me worse. I don't want that pain, love. I don't want the pain of knowing I hurt you. I…I'm asking you this one time, baby, because if you are foolish enough to love me and not walk away right now I will not give you another chance. I love you Lilly Truscott. I love you so much…but please don't let me hurt you."

Lilly let go of Amber's left hand and ran her hand through the girl's hair, "Hush…you are talking silly. I love you, Amber. When I left you last night I took a walk and did some thinking and I thought how much of a bitch I was to you and how much I loved you and I came to the conclusion I do truly love you. I am not leaving you, baby, I promise you that and you are not going to hurt me. I am a grown girl and can take care of myself. I am not walking away from you ever! I promise you that! So consider me foolish because I am not leaving you."

Amber threw herself against Lilly and wrapped her arms around her, "Ohhh…I love you, Lilly Truscott!" Amber squealed happily.

Lilly wrapped her own arms around Amber and hugged her tight. She then brought her lips to kiss Amber, but the girl turned her head and the kiss landed on her cheek.

"No…not now, love, don't kiss me now. I…I did not brush my teeth this morning and I was sick so I would taste awful." It was a half truth. Amber did not brush her teeth but she did not want to kiss Lilly after what she had to do to the man this morning. She did not want share a blissful kiss with the awful taste of the man still in her mouth.

Lilly grinned, "God you are such a priss."

Amber giggled and released herself from Lilly, "Oh...I have great news. My aunt and uncle are going out of town next weekend for a medical convention in Las Vegas and…well…I would love it if you came over and let me cook for you and you can spend the night on both Friday and Saturday…if…if you want to."

"Sure…let me think…that would be great. We only have a half day of school next Friday for some teacher's conference. The whole county school system is off so Natalie gets out early too. But…well…I was also thinking…well…there is an amateur surfing competition that Saturday and I am entering and I would like you to watch me. I am sure you will have to work since the beach is going to be packed but Rico could let you go watch me. I would like that."

Amber grinned, "I would love to watch you. I get so excited watching you do your sporty things." She winked and Lilly giggled.

"When do you not get excited?" Lilly winked back and Amber gave her a look of fake shock, "But I was thinking, baby…well they also have a youth competition and one age group is eight to ten and Natalie would really enjoy it and she is pretty good…hell she is better than any of the other kids her age. She is like a natural and I think she should compete…if you agree."

Amber frowned and turned to the mirror, opened her purse, pulled out her eyeliner and started to apply it, "I don't know, Lilly, she…well…I get so scared when she is out there. It frightens me, baby."

Lilly smiled as she watched Amber put on her makeup. To her it was like watching a master artist at work and she thought the girl even put on makeup sexy. "She'll be fine and no one has ever been seriously hurt…just some bumps on the head and a broken bone on occasion. Plus I swear, Amber, she is that good for her age and a beginner. She would love it and be so stoked."

"'Stoked'? I hope that means something good. And you are making me feel real at ease…'just some bumps and broken bones on occasion' really makes me feel so much better." Amber replied as she started on her mascara.

Lilly chuckled, "Stoked means excited, baby, and I think she should. She would love it, Amber. Please think about it."

Amber leaned closer to the mirror as she used the black mascara on her eye lashes, "Will you watch out for her? Promise me you will not let anything happen to her…take care of her, Lilly, promise me you will take care of her after I…I…just promise me you will be there for her. I trust you to do that."

Lilly gave Amber a confused look, "I will…I promise she will be ok. So does that mean you will let her surf?"

Amber nodded as she put her mascara in her purse and pulled out her lipstick. "Yes…she can and I want you to tell her. She would like to hear it from you. She adores you, love." Amber turned and smiled and then turned back to the mirror and put on black lipstick. When done she pursed her lips, smiled, and turned around and smiled. "I am sure she will be _stoked, _another wonderful word for you to add to her already growing vocabulary." Amber rolled her eyes and Lilly grinned at her. "So, do I look better now? Am I cute enough for you, baby?"

Lilly stared at her for a moment, "You are absolutely beautiful, Amber." Lilly replied honestly. "Natalie may adore me but she worships you…but I will be happy to tell her and get her all stoked, dudette." Amber rolled her eyes again but there was a smile on her lips. "Why black? You normally wear crimson."

Amber smiled, "Ohhh…you are so sweet to notice what color I normally wear. I just wanted something different…something to match my mood. I like black when I am feeling sad."

Lilly frowned, "Why are you feeling sad?"

Amber shrugged, "Just the weather I guess. You know my moods…but I am not going to let it affect you."

"Oh…I forgot. After the surfing competition there is a huge beach party and Miley and I go ever year. Maybe you could go?"

Amber frowned, "Well…I will have Natalie and I don't think I should take her."

"Oh yeah, I forgot that. It is more adult and I would not like to take an eight year old either. It does not start till nine and I could eat with you and go to the party and come back. I mean…I really wish you could go and it is tradition for me and Miley…but umm…if you don't want me to go I don't have to."

Amber smiled, "No…you go and have fun. As long as you come home to me I am fine. I'll wait up for you. God I am so…stoked…about next weekend." Amber giggled, "I get to cook for you…and by the way I am an awesome cook…and we can sleep together and I get to hold you all night. I'll fix up the guest room for us nice and romantic." Lilly picked up on the guest room comment and knew Amber did not want to share the bed with her that her uncle raped her in nightly.

Lilly forced a smile, "Sounds great. I have surprise for you." Lilly reached in her cargo pocket of her pants and pulled out a crimson cell phone. "It is a pre paid phone and has a lot of minutes on it and can text and has voice mail. I got crimson to match your normal lipstick. I already programmed my number, Miley's, and Oliver's in the phone so you can call us whenever you need to…and well…in case of an emergency." Lilly handed the phone to Amber.

"Oh, Lilly…you did not have to do this…but I love it! Ohhh…this means I can text you and call you to hear your sweet voice all the time!" Amber said excitedly and hugged Lilly again with passion.

Lilly was pleased with her self and thought how stupid she was not to do this earlier. She hugged Amber back, "My sweet voice is not too whiney for you?" She teased and Amber pulled back and lightly hit her chest.

"Ohhh why did I ever right that and why did you decide to pry into my personal life!" Amber said with mock anger. She kissed Lilly's cheek, "I think your voice is so sexy and I remember writing it was so there!" She stuck out her tongue and kissed Lilly's cheek again. They broke apart as they heard the door to the bathroom being unlocked and opened. One of the school's maintenance men walked in and gave them a strange look.

"What are you to going in here? I have been getting complaints the door was locked. If you have any drugs on you I will call the Mr. Harris and he will call your parents and the police and…Lilly Truscott? Girl you know better than to lock the door. I have had students complaining about having to pee and the door being locked."

Lilly smiled, "Sorry Mr. Winters, I just needed to talk to Amber. We did not do anything wrong…I swear."

The man smiled, "Oh hell…its ok since it is you. So umm…how's your mom?"

Lilly smiled, "She is fine and asks about you often, Frank."

Frank smiled and Lilly and Amber walked out of the bathroom and heard the "uuuhhs and Ahhhhs", the whistles, and the comments from the students waiting in the hall. Both girl's blushed and walked quickly down the hall holding hands.

"So how did you know him…the maintenance man?" Amber asked as they walked.

Lilly smiled, "My mom used to date him. He is a nice guy. Mom dumped him after about a month. She does not have much luck in the dating area. She dates them for a while and dumps them. My…my dad hurt her real bad when he cheated on her and she has trust issues."

Amber squeezed Lilly's hand in comfort. Lilly did not talk about her dad much but she always talked about her mother. Amber hoped to meet the woman one day soon. She seemed like a nice person from what Lilly told her. They got to Lilly's locker and the blonde opened it and started getting her books for her next class. Amber stood over her and thought she really loved the girl. She did not think she loved her as much as she loved Samantha but she loved her and if she had more time and if things were different she could love her as deep. Her thoughts were interrupted when Lilly looked up at her.

"Amber you have gym next, right?" Amber nodded, "Can you talk to Miley for me. She had been acting weird all day to me…like she is avoiding me. She didn't say anything last night did she?"

Amber shook her head, "We…well we really did not talk much last night." Amber thought that was not a lie since they really did not talk much.

Sam shrugged, "Well she is acting crazy. Could you talk to her and for me?"

Amber nodded, "Sure, baby, I'll have a chat with her. I'm sure she'll be fine."

Lilly kissed Amber on the cheek quickly and turned and walked to class. Amber stared at her butt as she walked and smiled. She loved that butt. She turned and walked to the girls locker rooms in the gym and the smile was replaced by a grim looking frown. She was going to have a serious chat with Miley. _If that girl ruins things I swear I am going to kill her!_ Amber thought as she walked. Amber walked into the locker room about three minutes after the class started. She did not care since she never dressed out anyway. She found Miley sitting on one of the benches in her bra and panties; the girl had her head down and her hands covered her face. Amber walked to her and while Miley heard the clicking of the other girl's heals on the tile floor she did not look up. Amber stood in front of her and her legs touched Miley's knees.

"Leave me alone, Amber." Miley said softly without raising her head.

Amber smiled, "No…you have to stop this and the way you are acting right now! If you keep it up she will suspect something; is that what you want?" Amber said coldly.

Miley looked up and Amber saw she was crying, "I…I can't even look at her, Amber. I can't even face her. She is my best friend and what we did was terrible."

"Well I thought what _we_ did was good…very good. Now what we did to Lilly was terrible, I agree, but damn it, Miley, you have to stop acting like this! If you want her to still be your best friend then act like her best friend and stop ignoring her or she will suspect something!"

Miley gave Amber a hateful look, "Why did you ever come into our lives? We were so happy before you came into our lives."

Amber sat down next to Miley and put her hand on the girl's naked knee, "Miley, ask yourself how happy you were. Lets see…Lilly was not dating anyone and lonely…she told me she was…while you were dating that jerk Jake. Oh yes speaking of Jake…how well did he treat you? Did he make you happy when he made you blow him like he made me?"

Miley gave Amber a look of shock and Amber chuckled, "Oh please…Lilly told me." Amber scooted closer and her legs touched Miley's. "Baby…I am sorry, I really am. I am not sorry we had sex because it was wonderful and I like you a lot. You are sweet and kind and a good person. Don't torture yourself, Miley. Please just act normal. Hell…I…I still want you sexually and it hurts me too. But I am not going to lie to you and tell you I do not care for you, because I do. I just love Lilly. And that is what I am sorry for. I am sorry I cheated on her and I am sorry I hurt you. I never meant to hurt you, baby." Amber had put her arm around Miley and the other girl placed her head on her shoulder. Amber placed her other hand on Miley's thigh above her knee and smiled when Miley let out a small moan but did not move. She started to caress the other girl's thigh.

"Miley, don't hate me…please don't hate me. I…I do feel bad about what we did." Amber's voice softened and her hand crept up Miley's thigh close to the edge of her panties and she continued to caress the other girl. Miley looked at Amber but did not move her leg and allowed the Goth girl to touch her, "I…I just wanted you so bad…I still do…and I could not control myself. It was wrong…I know that…but you are so damn hot and more importantly, so nice and sweet. I love her, Miley, I love her so much but I lust for you and it hurts me as well. I…I can't help it."

Miley let out a small moan as Amber's fingers tickled her inner thigh and she felt herself get aroused, "I…I…don't hate you, Amber. I wish I did…it would make things easier for me. I…I wanted you just as bad…maybe worse…no I don't hate you, but I don't like you either for what happened. I…I am to blame just as much and…and God help me, Amber, I want you again…and that hurts me. No I don't hate you, Amber…I hate myself."

Amber smiled and her finger's brushed the crotch of Miley's panties and Miley gasped, "Please, Amber…please stop it…I…I can't so you have to."

Amber pressed her finger harder as Miley actually spread her legs wider and closed her eyes. The tall brunette bit her lower lip and let out a stifled moan as Amber's finger touched her clit. "Please…Amber…you said we…ohhhh God…please stop, you said we would not do this again."

Amber inserted her finger inside Miley's panties and place a finger in the girl's wet pussy. "Look at me Miley; I want to see your face." Miley turned her head and opened her eyes, which appeared glassy and unfocussed with pleasure. "I want to please you, Miley, I want to taste you. You don't have to do anything to me…just let me please you."

Miley gasped as Amber twisted her finger that was inside the other girl. Miley put her arms around Amber and pulled her closer. "Damn you Amber!" Miley gasped out between moans and kissed Amber with a fierce passion and then let out a loud moan as Amber inserted a second finger inside her and pulled her bra aside and took one of her brown nipples in her teeth and bit it hard.

Amber thought she was glad she locked the locker room door as she slip to her knees and pulled Miley's panties down and used her mouth and fingers to bring the other girl to a quick orgasm. She was turned on and wanted to feel the wonderful release of pleasure herself, but she knew as Miley quickly fixed her bra and pulled her panties up the girl was feeling to guilty to repay the pleasure. Amber tried to kiss Miley, but the girl pulled away.

"No more, Amber…please…never again. I…I can't do it again…please." Miley begged as she pushed Amber away.

Amber stepped to the mirror and reapplied her lipstick and looked at Miley through the mirror. She felt guilty about what she did to Lilly and Miley both, but she knew she had no choice. They told her it was the only way.

"I…I won't, Miley…I do like you, but I won't. Just…just please act normal around Lilly. We have to…and…and if you tell her what we did, let me know first so I can prepare for it."

Miley put on her gym shorts, "I…I will try to act normal around her and trust me…I am not going to tell her if we stop right now. Promise me we will stop."

Amber walked to the taller girl and ran her hand trough the long brown hair as Miley flinched, "We will…as much as I hate to we will. I do enjoy it...very much."

Miley sighed, "Yeah me too…that is why I hate myself."

Amber smiled sadly and walked from the locker room hoping they would now love her again and her mother would understand. She did not even turn to see Miley drop back down on the bench and place her head in her hands and start crying.


	16. Chapter 16

Over the next week things were somewhat normal…as normal as they could be. Amber's home life was the same, she and Natalie endured abuse from her aunt but nothing as bad as the branding. Just spankings with the man's leather belt that left both girls' buttocks painful sore and red with welts that would fade over a couple days. Amber continued to make sure she suffered the worse abuse so Natalie would be spared for the most part. The man continued to visit Amber nightly and the Goth girl could tell by the way he looked at his own daughter it would be not be long before he visited her at night, something Amber was going to prevent anyway she could. One way was that she became more affectionate and willing to the man and his perverted games. At times she would even seduce him and beg him to visit her at night and even beg to play his games of her dressing up in various costumes and act out roles he enjoyed to distract the perverted thoughts he had to his daughter. Amber hated when she had to do this and even got physically sick a number of times after the man left, but she would do anything to protect Natalie from his abuse as she did anything to protect the girl from the abuse of her mother even if it killed her. Amber knew Lilly did not understand how she could be sexually aroused by her with the abuse she suffered and even through her pretty blonde girlfriend never mentioned it or bring the subject up, Amber knew it hurt her and she could not understand that to Amber the sexual rape she endured from her uncle was like a bad dream to her and to her it was not real.

Amber used her new cell phone every night to send Lilly a short text or even a phone call late at night. One time she dialed a number using the code to block her own number from caller ID. It was well after two in the morning but she had to hear the voice on the other line just once. When the tired female voice answered the phone, Amber froze and as the voice asked who it was she hung up quickly. That night Amber cried herself to sleep feeling the pain in her heart at hearing the voice of Hei Isuel and wished she had the courage to talk to the woman who had been like a mother to her. Miley of course ended the tutoring sessions and Amber was very relieved as well. She could not bring herself to have sex with Miley anymore regardless of how wonderful she thought it was, how pretty and sexy Miley was, or how many times the voices told her to. They hated her more and more and said cruel things when she ignored them, but she could no hurt either Lilly or Miley that way again. Amber continued to hide what she did with Miley from Lilly and showed her blonde surfer girlfriend more and more affection and love. Miley even did her best to act normal around Lilly, but it was hard.

Miley became a better actor in her guilty role than she had been on the set of her Hannah Montana Movie, which the critics hated. They wrote Hannah Montana needs to stick to singing and not branch out to acting. The words would have hurt Miley normally but her pain was focused on what she did to her best friend and a girl she loved so completely. She acted like nothing was wrong when around Lilly and for the most part her blonde friend did not suspect anything and when Miley did get weird acting Lilly assumed it was because of the review her movie got and would hug and tell Miley everything was going to be fine. Miley would just cry on her shoulders during those periods. Another thing that bothered Miley was when she saw Lilly and Amber together. She got jealous when she saw the couple and how they acted and when they kissed. Her jealousy ate at her and made her feel guilty. She was not just jealous over Lilly but over Amber as well as she would watch the two and her mind would flash at images of her and Lilly's past making love and then sex with Amber as well. While she loved Lilly she still lusted after the Goth girl and it drove her crazy. Most of the time when the two lovers were together, Miley would make an excuse not to be around them. The worse was at night in her bed when her sexual fantasies went from Lilly to Amber and then she could only reach her orgasmic release when she thought of both girls making love to her at the same time. She hated it but could not help herself.

Lilly just thought Miley was crushing on Amber and ignored the actions of her friend. She was not jealous of what Miley felt for her girlfriend because she knew Miley would never act on those feelings and hurt her. She trusted both girls but felt a little sad Miley developed the crush since she enjoyed it when Miley and Amber got along. She knew she just had to give her friend time to get over her feelings and maybe even help her get a girlfriend or boyfriend. Lilly thought of people she could set Miley up with but none came to her mind. Aside from her sadness for Miley, Lilly was happy and sad at the same time. She had not been this happy in such a long time. Amber was doing very well and her dark periods had not surfaced in a long time and she was in love. What made her sad was also the reason she was happy. She just wished she could have sex with her girlfriend. That still bothered her but Amber never brought it up again. The Goth girl would still kiss her and tease but she never tried to seduce Lilly again. Amber even told her she could live without the sex as long as Lilly loved her. Lilly also cried herself to sleep almost nightly thinking of the terrible things Amber and Natalie suffered at home and drove her self crazy with thoughts of how to help. But they were not realistic thoughts and she had not idea how she could truly help the two. She would cry in her bed until she got a text from Amber from her new phone or even a phone call late at night. They were simple text messages that just told Lilly she loved her or phone calls with whispered words telling her she loved her and goodnight. Those simple things always made Lilly smile and be able her to drift off to sleep.

On the Friday before the surfing competition the schools got out early and Lilly and Amber drove to Amber's home to wait for Natalie. Amber gave Lilly a tour of the hated house avoiding her own room and allowing Lilly to place her overnight bag in the guest bedroom. Lilly noticed the room was large and had a king size bed and rolled her eyes at the rose petals on top of the bed. Amber blushed and told Lilly the red rose was her favorite flower. Lilly also noticed the scented candles around the room and gave Amber a curious look.

"Damn, baby, did you watch one of those silly chick flicks last night or what?"

Amber blushed, "Shut up…I…I just wanted it to be romantic for you. It may be cheesy but I…I went through a lot of trouble this morning and…and even cut my thumb on those stupid thorns from the rose bushes in back!" Amber walked out of the room and toward the kitchen. Lilly knew she hurt the girl's feelings and mentally kicked herself. _Great, Truscott…fucking smart you are!_ Lilly thought as she ran after Amber. She caught Amber in the hall and gently grabbed her hand and turned her around. Lilly noticed Amber's eyes were watery.

"Amber, I am so sorry…it was sweet and looks very romantic. I…I'm sorry, baby. I'm just not used to someone that is not afraid to show how they feel about me like you do. I…I love it, I swear and it is so romantic."

Amber smiled and hugged Lilly, "Really…you like it? I know it is silly…but…it's just been so long since I had someone I love like I love you sleep with me and…and been able to act like a real girlfriend and not sneak around like we have to and I…I got a little carried away. I…I know all we are going to do is sleep, but to me that will be so satisfying…just sleeping as you hold me"

Lilly chuckled, "A little carried away?" She ignored the comment about just sleeping.

"Ohhhh….you are so mean!" Amber yelled as she tried to push herself off Lilly but the blonde held her tight and kissed her neck. It was not long before Amber gave in and moaned and collapsed in Lilly's arms. Lilly pressed her against the wall and ran her hands up her skirt and Amber gasped loudly in pleasure.

"Ohhhh…please, love…please…you have to stop…it…ohhhh God! That feels good!" Amber panted as Lilly pushed her hands under Amber's white cotton panties and rubbed her.

"No…not this time, baby, I want you and I am going to make love to you. We are going to get very little sleep tonight." Lilly said forcefully as she pushed Amber's small arms above her head and pinned them to the wall. Lilly was determined to make love with Amber regardless of what flashed through her mind and her sexual arousal was overwhelming the hated thoughts. Lilly wanted Amber badly. Lilly whispered the words in Amber ear and then bit her neck gently as her fingers entered the girl. Amber moaned and then started crying and Lilly let go of her hands. Amber wrapped her hands around Lilly's neck and fell against her almost causing both girls to fall to the floor.

"Amber, I…I'm sorry…I did not mean to bite you so hard." Lilly whispered as Amber placed her head in her chest and cried harder. Amber looked up and smiled while tears ran down her cheeks.

"It's…no…it's not that…that felt wonderful…I…its…ohhhh, Lilly! You want to make love to me and it makes me so happy! That is why I am crying! I am so happy you want me!" Amber shouted and hugged her girlfriend tighter. Lilly whispered words of want and desire and Amber pulled back and stuck out her lower lip in a pouting gesture. "But…Natalie will be home in a few minutes and we don't have time right now. And then we have to go to the store and get stuff for dinner and breakfast in the morning." Amber let go of Lilly and wiped her eyes.

Lilly smiled, "Well later tonight we will…we will have all night to make love."

Amber smiled at her like a child and bit her lower lip. "See, I knew the rose petals and candles would work." The Goth girl giggled and Lilly laughed.

"I'm going to change, put on something more comfortable." Lilly said and pulled away from Amber but the girl held her and kissed her lips gently. She leaned to the blonde's ear, "Now what in the world would you consider more comfortable than what you have on now?"

Lilly pushed her back and laughed. She was wearing a pair of Capri jeans and a polo shirt. "Shorts and a tee shirt, baby."

Amber rolled her eyes and then smiled seductively, "Can I watch?"

Lilly took her hand and pulled her into the guest bedroom and sat her on the bed. Amber watched as Lilly changed clothes and as the blonde was putting her skate sneakers on they both heard the door open and Natalie shout asking if they were home.

"In here!" Both girls shouted at the same time.

A little while later Amber was sitting at the kitchen table writing a list for items to buy at the store while Lilly and Natalie were discussing the surf competition the next day.

"Oh my God it is going to be so sick! I am so stoked!" Natalie shouted.

"I know…I am so stoked about it too. It is going to be gnarly. I think you'll do great, bra, most of the kids in your age group are a bunch of kooks." Lilly smiled at the girl's excitement.

"I just hope we don't have a blow out…man that would be bogus. I am going to wear my new baggies you got me. I can't wait! It is going to be epic! Is Amber going to be a bunny and watch us?"

Lilly laughed at how well Natalie picked up the lingo and looked at Amber. The Goth girl was staring at them with confusion. She sighed and removed her glasses, "You know, girls, Ran and her mom spoke Korean a lot of the time and I swear I could understand them more than I can you two…and I don't even know how to speak Korean!"

Natalie and Lilly busted out laughing and Amber stood up in a huff, "Now can we talk about something important. What would the two of you like for dinner?"

"Pizza!" Both of the other girls shouted. Amber rolled her eyes in disgust, "If the two of you think I am going to waste my cooking talents on pizza you are both highly mistaken. God! I guess it is up to me to decide!" Amber turned around in mock anger and walked out of the kitchen to finish her list when she heard Lilly and Natalie shout behind her, "Don't be a hodad, Amber!" She then heard them giggling and she had no idea what a hodad was but it made her smile to see Lilly and Natalie get along so well. She wished it could be like this all the time.

Lilly pushed the empty plate away from her and smiled at Amber as the girl was placing her own plate in the sink; the blonde found out Amber was not just bragging about her cooking talents. The dinner was one of the best she ever had and the girl could cook and cook very well. Lilly smiled at Natalie who was still eating and marveled how such a little girl could eat so much but remembered she ate a lot when little and still does. The blonde noticed Amber did not eat much at all and it worried her a little. She could tell Amber had lost weight over the months since she met the girl and as small as Amber was, Lilly thought the girl could not lose too much more.

"Where did you learn to cook Korean food, Amber? It was very good." Lilly asked.

Amber turned around and smiled, "Ran's mom taught me. I used to spend hours with her watching and helping her cook. Ran never liked to cook. And before my mom died I used to do the same with her. I liked spending time in the kitchen with mom…it was like our own special time for just me and her." Amber turned back around and looked out the window and smiled as she thought of how she loved the time alone in the kitchen with her mother and then with Mrs. Isuel.

"Ams, could you teach me how to cook." Natalie asked after she swallowed her mouthful of food.

Amber turned around, "Sure, Little Peep, I would love to teach you how to cook. It is really easy."

Natalie grinned and pushed her plate away from her, "I am so full. That was delicious. Do we have any desert…like cake or…*burp*" Natalie let out a loud burp and giggled as she covered her mouth. "Excuse me…sorry it just slipped out."

Lilly laughed and forced herself to burp loudly as well. Natalie laughed and Amber rolled her eyes and frowned, "God, you two are so disgusting." The other two girls laughed louder.

"Why don't we go get some ice cream or something?" Lilly said after she stopped laughing and Natalie showed her agreement by shouting and clapping her hands and Amber agreed as well but only after they cleaned the kitchen. Lilly told her to go relax while she and Natalie did the cleaning and Amber sat at the kitchen table instructing the two girls on how to clean the dishes and pans. Lilly and Natalie teased Amber about her obsessive ness until the petite brunette finally just crossed her arms and pouted.

When they got home Amber told Natalie it was time for her bath and then they would play some board game before she went to bed. Amber was very anxious to get the girl in bed and hoped she would fall asleep early. She had been sexually aroused all day and cooking for Lilly, going out for ice cream with her, and the whole evening had only increased her arousal. She had fantasized all evening that her and Lilly were a happy married couple and Natalie was their daughter and it made her sexually excited thinking how she would please her "wife" in the bed later.

"Can you come tell me a story while I take a bath, Ams?"

"Sure, baby…what story would you like?"

"How you met the Lovely Ran!" The girl shouted.

Amber sighed, "I should have known. Are you sure? You know that one by heart."

"Yes I want that one and you tell it so wonderfully!"

"Ok the lovely Ran it is. Now let's go run your bathwater." Amber took Natalie's hand and walked her up the stairs. She turned to tell Lilly to make herself at home and stopped when she saw the blonde following her. She gave Lilly a questioning look and the other girl grinned.

"I never heard it and want to listen too."

Amber blushed and Natalie jumped up and down, "It is the best story ever!"

"No way I am getting out of this, huh?" Amber asked Lilly and the blonde shook her head, "Nope." She said with a grin on her face.

Amber ran the girl's bath water and added the bubble bath as Natalie undressed. Lilly closed her eyes and turned her head when she saw the fading bruises and welts on the girl's butt and felt a deep sadness for the sweet beautiful child. She then glanced at Amber who smiled sadly at her. As Natalie climbed in the tub, the Goth girl stood close to Lilly and whispered in her ear, "Sorry…I should have warned you. After a while I guess we have gotten so used to it and just ignore it." Lilly swallowed hard and whispered back, "And yours? Is it as bad?"

Amber gave her another sad smile, "We'll talk later...k?" Amber no longer hid what her aunt did to her from Lilly. She did not go about telling her girlfriend all the things her aunt did to her, but the rare times Lilly asked about one bruise or another Amber told her the truth, but so far she had yet to tell or show Lilly the W branded on her breasts and was afraid to. She knew if things go like they had planned, the blonde would see it tonight, and Amber wanted to tell her before she saw it to prepare her for the sight of the ugly W shaped scar that was burned into her flesh.

Lilly nodded and gave Natalie a wide grin as the girl was looking at the two older girls with a curious look on her face.

"So, Little Peep, ready for your story?" Natalie smiled and nodded her head and Lilly grinned, "I sure am." Amber gave her a sharp look and Lilly giggled.

Amber told Natalie the story as she always did and the girl listened to the story as if it was the first time she ever heard it. Lilly smiled through the entire story and giggled at some of the parts. She listened to the story intensely and while she found the fantasy portions humorous she did pick up on Amber's tone and realized just how much the Goth girl had loved the girl who was her best friend. Lilly thought of how she would feel if something happened to Miley and knew it would be a terrible blow to her. She watched Amber with sadness for the loss of such a friend. When they were done, Amber dried the girl off; Natalie was old enough to dry herself of course, but it became a special ritual for the two when Amber bathed her. When Amber started brushing the girl's long blonde hair, Lilly stopped her.

"Let me braid it, Amber. It would help tomorrow when she is surfing and I can braid it so primo and she would look like a cool bra."

Natalie eye's lit up, "Please, Ams, please…I want to look like a surf chic…please." Natalie begged and Amber chuckled as she agreed and sat on the edge of the tub to watch. Lilly frowned at her.

"Nope…you have to leave. We are going to surprise you. Go find something else to do." Lilly teased and Natalie giggled. Amber stuck out her tongue at both girls and left the bathroom. She decided to touch up the dye on the crimson streaks in her own hair. They needed it.

After about forty five minutes, Amber was washing her hair to get out the excess dye in the kitchen sink when she heard Lilly call her into the living room. She shouted for them to wait a moment, finished rinsing her hair, grabbed a hand towel, and walked into the living room drying the wet portion of her hair. Lilly was waiting for her and standing at the entrance to the room while Natalie hid around the corner.

"Sit down, Amber." Amber sighed, rolled her eyes at the drama, but sat down with a smile on her face.

"Say it Lilly…like we practiced." Amber heard Natalie say excitedly from the hall. Lilly laughed.

"Now introducing the number one ranked surfer in the world. The winner of the Maui Cup, the Billabong Pipeline Masters Competition, the East Coast Champion, the winner of this years Triple Crown, and the captain of the Oakley Girls Surf Team; our very own Natalie Elizabeth Taylor!" Lilly announced with excitement and then made crowd noises as Amber clapped. Natalie jumped out from the hall and held her hands up in the air. She was wearing her bathing suit top and her new board shorts that she referred to in the surfing slang as "baggies". Amber giggled at the announcement and the actions of Natalie as she looked at the girl's hair. Lilly had placed the hair in series of complicated braids that brought her hair back tight against her head and then ending halfway that caused the last three inches of Natalie's hair to be free flowing. Amber thought she looked absolutely beautiful since the braids pulled her hair from her face and one could see how truly lovely the girl was. Her skin was a nice light tan color from all the time she recently spent in the sun and Amber envied how well the girl tanned while she burned with just a few moments in the sun. People always told her they envied her alabaster skin, but they never had to suffer a bad sunburn the way she did.

Amber looked at Natalie with her mouth slightly open as she saw something she never seen in the girl. With her hair pulled back and her face exposed, Amber noticed for the first time how much the girl looked like her brother and father. She had the same sky blue eyes and the same lovely facial features as they did. Amber never noticed it before but it made sense. The girl's father was her own father's half brother and they shared the same mother. Amber never knew her grandmother since she died when she was two but she had seen the pictures of the woman and she was very beautiful and she looked just like Amber's father and brother. Amber reasoned that while Natalie's father must have gotten his looks from his own father Natalie's looks came from her grandmother.

"What's wrong, Ams…don't you like it?" Natalie said sadly while staring at Amber. Amber closed her mouth and smiled.

"You…you look absolutely lovely, baby. You are so beautiful and I love your hair. Lilly did a wonderful job."

Natalie clapped her hands happily, "Do I look like a real surfer chic? Do I, Ams?"

Amber laughed, "Yes you look like a true surfer chic…much to my disappointment. I have tried to teach you to be a lady, but I think you are going to be such a surfer girl when you get older." Amber said in mock sorrow as she shook her head.

Natalie giggled and Lilly dropped to her knees in front of the girl her, "One thing Amber did not tell you, Natalie, is that as much as she can teach you about manners, grace, and being a lady and no matter how much you soak it in; you have to be born with a lot of it and Amber was born that way. She may have been taught politeness and stuff from her mother, but she was born a lady and so were you. You can be both a lady and surfer girl both."

Natalie smiled and Amber blushed at Lilly's compliment of her. Amber then looked at Natalie and frowned, "Is that lip gloss and…and blush you are wearing. You are much too young for makeup…even the lip gloss. Go wash your face right now young lady."

Natalie stomped her foot, "But Lilly said I could and said I looked pretty…it's not fair! You wear makeup and so does Lilly. It's just not fair!" The girl whined.

Amber put her hands on her hips, "I don't care what Lilly said, you are way too young to wear makeup. I am older than you and old enough to wear it. Now go wash your face right now young lady!"

Natalie looked at Lilly, who shrugged her shoulders, and left the room stomping up the stairs. Amber heard the girl muttering how she did not think Amber was a very good best friend. The Goth girl turned to Lilly and looked at her girlfriend sharply.

"She is much too young for makeup! You are spoiling her too much!" Amber stopped her foot.

Lilly, who found the small tantrum of both girls funny, chuckled, "Oh, come on, baby, we were just having fun and she deserves to be spoiled as much as possible…plus it's hard not too spoil her since she is so damn adorable."

Amber smiled, "Yeah…plus…plus I'm jealous," she admitted, "I…I am kind of jealous how much she adores you." Amber said as she walked to Lilly and placed her head on the blonde's chest and hugged her. Lilly hugged her back and laughed.

"Awww…poor, baby. Natalie has a new friend and Amber is jealous." She teased and Amber lightly hit her chest.

"Shut up…it's not funny." The petite brunette whined and placed her head back on Lilly's chest.

"Amber, she may adore me, honey, but she worships you. The entire time I was doing her hair it was 'Amber is so wonderful. Amber is the greatest person in the world. Amber does this or Amber does that'. That girl thinks the sun sets and rises because you make it so."

Amber looked up into Lilly's eyes and smiled, "You are such a good person, Lilly. I mean that. I…I don't think I have ever met a person so caring and sweet as you are. I love you, Lillian Truscott." Amber kissed the girl gently on the lips before Natalie came back into the room. By the time the girl washed her face and walked back into the room, Amber and Lilly were sitting on the couch talking. Natalie jumped in between them and the three decided to play a board game of Natalie's choice after Amber changed clothes.

After playing Mouse Trap eight times, Amber told Natalie it was time for bed. "Ams, since daddy and mommy aren't here can you sleep in my bed?" The girl asked. Amber gave Lilly an apologetic look and the blonde shrugged as she started picking up the game and placing the pieces in the box. "Sure, Little Peep. Now go brush your teeth and I'll be up in a moment. I need to make sure Lilly is comfortable. And…I think tomorrow you can wear the lip gloss. No blush but the lip gloss would be fine." Natalie jumped off up from the floor, hugged and kissed Lilly goodnight, and ran up the stairs shouting how great Amber was.

Amber scooted across the floor to Lilly and put her arms around her. She leaned over and nibbled her ear, "Don't you even think of falling asleep. When she is asleep I'll come back down and join you." Amber whispered and ran her tongue in Lilly's ear.

Lilly felt a shiver of pleasure run up her spin and smiled, "Oh I won't fall asleep, but you had better hurry or I may start without you."

Amber giggled and stood up, "You had better not…if you do that I want to be there to watch." She smirked and winked seductively at Lilly who blushed.

"Just go get her to bed so I can get you in bed." Amber smiled and went to Natalie's room hoping the girl was tired and would fall asleep quickly.

When Amber left her alone, Lilly finished picking up the game and turned on the television. After seeing nothing was on she was interested in she walked into the kitchen and pulled the leftover food from dinner out of the refrigerator, placed some of it on a plate, and put it in the microwave to warm in up. She waited for the beep and when done she placed the plate on the table, got a fork and knife, and sat down to wait for Amber to find her. It was not long when Amber came into the kitchen and Lilly's eyes grew wide at what she saw. Amber had changed clothes from the pink pajama bottoms and tee shirt to a simple white camisole that was tight and clinged to her body. The camisole was short and allowed Amber's stomach to show and revealed her white French cut panties. Amber placed her hair up and the two red locks fell down her cheeks to frame her face. Lilly noticed she touched up her makeup and thought she looked sexy and beautiful. She did flinch a little at some of the bruises she saw on the girl's body, but Amber did not seem to notice.

Amber blushed at the way Lilly was staring at her but she also felt a thrill of sexual excitement coarse through her from the lust she saw in Lilly's eyes. "She fell asleep pretty quickly…only listened half of one story…and…ummm…well…I wanted to look nice for you."

Lilly grinned, "You succeeded, baby, you look lovely and sexy." Amber looked at the food on the table and frowned.

"Honestly, Lilly…you can't be hungry…I want you now! Take me to bed and make love to me and then we'll get you a snack. I'll let you ravish me and work up more of an appetite." Amber teased.

Lilly's grin widened, "I am sure I would, but this is not for me. It is for you…you did not eat much all day. You did not eat lunch at all, barley ate any dinner, and only played with your ice cream until it all melted. You need to eat, baby, so we are not going anywhere until you eat something."

"I'm not hungry…I am horny. Please make love to me and then I will eat something." Amber pleaded but Lilly just used her foot and pushed a chair from under the table for Amber to sit on. "Nope…eat and then I will take you to the bedroom."

Amber sat down in a huff, "Not hungry." She muttered like a child and started playing with the food. Lilly grinned and placed her foot between Amber's thighs and forced her foot between the girl's legs. She wiggled her toes and knew she hit the spot she wanted when Amber let out a loud gasp of pleasure.

"If you want me you have to eat at least half."

"T…t…that's not fair." Amber gasped out in a high pitched tone and Lilly shrugged and removed her foot.

Amber ate half her dinner without another complaint. She was not hungry but ate due to not only her desire to have sex but also it really touched her emotionally that Lilly was worried about her and her not eating. After she finished she excused herself to go brush her teeth while Lilly told her to meet her in the bedroom. Amber sat on the edge of the bed while she watched Lilly undress. Lilly moved to the bed and straddled Amber and kissed her. As the blonde moved her hand to remove Amber's top the Goth girl stopped her and gently pushed her off and rolled Lilly to lie down on the bed. Amber turned her body slightly to look at her girlfriend while she still sat on the bed.

"Lilly…I…I need to tell you something before…before I show you myself." Lilly propped her head up on her hand and started caressing Amber's thigh.

"Sure, baby. Are you ok?" She asked and Amber nodded.

"Yeah…but…well…remember in the bathroom when you saw Natalie and asked me if mine were as bad?" Lilly nodded, "Well…yeah they are. I don't want you to get shocked when you see my butt…and…oh Lilly…I am so sorry. I…I…she did something to me and made me look so ugly." Amber started crying and Lilly sat up and hugged her.

"Shhh…you are beautiful Amber. Truly you are so beautiful. You could never be ugly to me." Lilly kissed the girl's cheek and Amber gave her a weak smile.

"She…she said I was a whore and needed…she did it and…she said I needed a…a…scarlet letter…" Amber cried as she removed her top to reveal her left breast. Lilly let out a gasp of horror when she saw the W branded into her girlfriend's skin. She felt pity and sadness for Amber and hate for the woman who did this to the girl she loved. Lilly also felt helplessness that she could not protect the girl.

"That…that cunt! Oh God…Amber I…I am so sorry she did this to you…that cunt! I…I want to kill her. I swear if I ever see her I will kick her alcoholic pill popping ass! That fucking cunt is going to pay for this!" Lilly ranted and only calmed down when Amber hugged her neck and placed a gentle kiss on her mouth to quite her. Amber pulled back.

"Hush, baby. First please never use that word again. I hate that word. Call her anything else but not that…please." Lilly nodded, "And you will do no such thing to her. First she is mean and a psychopath and I…I…I am afraid of her. She…she scares me and she would hurt you. I never want to see you hurt. It doesn't hurt anymore…just makes me look ugly."

Lilly kissed Amber's lips, "No, honey, I told you that you could never be ugly to me…I love you." Lilly kissed down Amber's neck and to her left breast. She ran her lips and tongue over the W and then took the girl's nipple in her mouth and sucked it gently. Amber moaned in pleasure and soon felt Lilly's hand slide under her panties and between her legs as the blonde started kissing her neck again and whispered how beautiful she thought Amber was. Soon Amber and Lilly fell to the bed and a few seconds later Amber was naked and they made love. Amber cried after her first orgasm. She cried with joy of having Lilly make love to her and after her second one she cried due to the pleasure she got from Lilly. They both made love over and over and the hated images Lilly always saw in her mind never came to her. During one of their breaks of having sex, Amber set the alarm clock to five a.m. so she could get up and sneak back into Natalie's bed and then they made love again.

Lilly woke with the alarm clock buzzing and moved her hand to tap Amber and have the girl shut the alarm off. Her hand touched nothing but the empty bed and she rolled over and opened her eyes to see Amber gone. Lilly assumed the girl already left to join Natalie so she rolled over to the other side of the bed and turned the alarm off. Lilly cursed since she had to pee and got out of bed and felt the soreness between legs, her butt, and her thigh muscles. She smiled in satisfaction. She and Amber made love in every position they could think of and found some not very good but others wonderful. She grinned as she thought of the wonderful and kinky things they did and walked to the bathroom. After she used the bathroom in the hall she thought she could get a few more hours of sleep before she had to be at the beach when she heard something that sounded like crying in the living room. Lilly walked into the living room and saw Amber laying on the couch naked, shivering from cold, and crying. Lilly grabbed the throw off the back of the couch and draped it over the girl and sat down next to her feet. Amber looked up at her, wiped her eyes, and threw herself at Lilly and wrapped her arms around her neck and snuggled close to her. Lilly wrapped her own arms around the girl and held her tight as she sobbed.

"I…I was so happy, love. Yesterday, last night, earlier this morning making love to you…I was so happy." Amber said after a while.

"It's ok, baby, I am still happy. It was a wonderful day and night and today is going to be just as wonderful…we will be happy today as well."

Amber snuggled closer to Lilly, "No…they won't let me. They don't like me being happy and…and they are so jealous of you…of us. They won't let me be happy again…never again. I am never going to be happy again…they won't let me. They are so mad at me for being happy with you." Amber sobbed.

Lilly started stroking the girl's hair, "Who, baby, who are you talking about? Who won't let you be happy?" Lilly was getting a little scared.

Amber pulled back and looked up, "She is going to be so mad at me, love. Natalie is going to hate me. Please don't let her hate me…try and explain to her, love, don't let her hate me. I know you'll understand. You are to kind and sweet not to, but she is just a child." Amber said as she ignored Lilly's questions.

"She could never hate you, Amber. I…I have no idea why you think she would but she would never hate you. She loves you too much for that."

Amber smiled weakly, "I'm sorry, Lilly…for everything. She…she is going to hate me because the dark Amber is going show up and I…I won't get to watch her surf…I'll be there but I won't be able to enjoy her surfing and she is going to hate me for it." Amber threw her head back into Lilly's chest and started sobbing again.

"No…no, baby, it's going to be ok…your dark mood will not show up. You have been doing great over the last weeks and…and you will be fine. Come on, let's go back to bed. I'll walk you to Natalie's room."

Amber shook her head, "No, love, you go back to bed. You need your rest for the competition. I want to stay here for a moment…I'll be ok." She leaned up and kissed Lilly passionately, "I do love you, baby, so much. I…I wish I was different for you."

Lilly smiled, "You are perfect for me. Sure you're ok?"

Amber nodded and Lilly got up and walked back to the bedroom. She turned once to see Amber lay back down on the couch and pull the throw over her body.


	17. Chapter 17

Lilly woke the next morning and saw it was a little after eight in the morning. She stretched and smiled as she thought of the previous night and the pleasure she had with Amber. She was thinking of how well satisfied she was when her smile turned into a frown. She was so involved in her own feeling of satisfaction she almost forgot about Amber and her crying on the couch. Lilly got out of bed, slipped on her panties and tee shirt, and walked into the living room to make her way to the kitchen She was hungry and decided to make them all breakfast. Lilly knew she was not as good as a cook as Amber, but growing up with a working single mother she learned her way around the kitchen. She was going to let Amber and Natalie sleep in a little more. They had a few hours before they had to be at the beach and while Amber had to be at work earlier, Lilly would tell Rico to fuck off if he gave her a problem. Lilly walked into the living room and stopped. Amber was still on the couch but sleeping now and Natalie was curled up next to her crying. Lilly quietly approached the girls and pried the young girl off Amber. At first Natalie did not want to let go of her "sister" but with Lilly's whispered words she finally gave up and let Lilly walk her into the kitchen where they sat at the dinette table. Lilly took the girl's small hands in hers.

"What's the matter, sweetie? Why the tears. She's just sleeping." Lilly said.

Natalie wiped her eyes and nose with her hands, "No…she…she's sick again and…why, Lilly? She was doing so good for a long time. And…and yesterday and last night was wonderful and…and…ohhhh…why did she get sick again and today of all days?"

Lilly frowned, "I don't know, baby, I wish I did but I don't. Hey, let's go cook some breakfast and we'll wake Amber up and go to the beach. We don't have to be there until later but we can watch some rad surfing while we wait."

Natalie nodded, stood up, walked to Lilly, and hugged the girl, "I love you, Lilly."

Lilly hugged Natalie back and felt her eyes get watery due to her affection for the girl, "I love you to, baby. Now let me show you how to cook some wonderful scrambled eggs."

They woke Amber up and the Goth girl was right about what she told Lilly earlier that morning. She was in her dark mood and lost in her own world. She would smile at Lilly and Natalie and even answer their questions with one or two words but for the most part she seemed as if in a daze. Lilly knew Amber would function while in this mood but she would talk very little and when she did it was only to respond to questions or comments directed to her and show would show no emotions and avoid any physical contact with her and Natalie. Lilly drove them to the beach and as Amber went to work she took Natalie down to the beach to watch the surfers and to loosen up before they had to compete. Natalie would be surfing first and when the time came for her age group Lilly went to Rico's and led Amber to the ocean to watch the girl. Natalie did very well and ended up in second place. Natalie excitedly showed Amber her trophy and the Goth girl just smiled and told her it was nice and she had better get back to work. Natalie threw her trophy in the sand and ran away crying. Lilly felt like her heart was going to break as she picked up the trophy and ran after the girl down the beach. She caught up with Natalie and gently grabbed her and turned her around. Natalie had tears running down her cheeks.

"I hate her! I hate her so much! She…she did not even care! I…I wish she would leave and never come back!" Natalie cried as Lilly dropped to her knees and hugged her.

"Shhh…don't say that, Natalie, please don't say that. I know she…she hurt your feelings…but never say you hate her. She as done so much for you and she loves you very much…she loves you more than anyone."

Natalie sniffled, "I…I really don't hate her, but I hate when she gets sick like this. I wanted her to be proud of me…and…and she did not care."

Lilly pushed her back a little and smiled, "She is always proud of you, baby. When she gets better she will tell you she is proud of what you did today. Now let's go find Miley and show her your trophy and get something to eat. I am surfing in a couple of hours and you can sit with Miley and watch me."

Natalie stopped crying and wiped her eyes, "Ok…but I don't want to eat at Rico's…can we get a hot dog from that ma on the beach? I haven't had a hot dog in a long time since Amber doesn't like me to eat them."

Lilly laughed, "Sure, baby, we will get you a hot dog and whatever other junk food you like. Now let's go find Miley."

Natalie giggled, "I saw her with those boys…I think she was flirting with them." Natalie said in a whisper as if Miley was doing something wrong and she was telling on her. Lilly laughed again.

"Yeah, she always likes the get all the attention. Come on let's go and see if we can do something to embarrass her in front of them."

Natalie laughed and took Lilly's hand and they walked to a group of boys surrounding Miley. Lilly smiled when she saw her friend. Miley was wearing a very skimpy bikini and even at the distance she could tell the girl was flirting hard. She did not recognize any of the boys and assumed they were out of towners here to surf or watch or pick up girls. Lilly whispered something to Natalie and the little girl nodded as she giggled. Natalie then let go of Lilly's hand and ran to Miley shouting.

"Mommy, Mommy!" When Natalie got to Miley she hugged the girl tightly, "Mommy, daddy said for you to stop talking to these boys and take me to get something to eat. He said he has to go to work and he is mad."

Miley looked at the girl in shock as the boys muttered excuses why they had to leave and left the pretty brown haired girl being hugged by her "daughter". Miley pushed Natalie back and was about to say something when she heard Lilly laughing. Miley looked up and saw her friend bent over laughing.

"Lilly Truscott, I am going to get you for this!" Miley screamed at Lilly and Natalie tried to run back to the blonde but Miley held her tight, "And you, little girl, I am going to get you!" Miley started tickling Natalie. The girl fell to the sand laughing and begging for Lilly to help her. The blonde ran over and tackled Miley and started tickling her. Natalie soon joined in and Miley was laughing and begging the two girls to stop.

Amber stood on the edge of a sandy hill and watched the scene of the three girls playing and laughing with tears in her eyes. "You were right. She is going to leave me for her just like you did with Carly. And…and they are going to try and take her away too aren't they?" Amber listened to the answer in her head, "I…I am not going to let that happen. They will not take Natalie from me!" Again she paused and listened, "No! I…I won't allow it! Stop saying that! She…she does love me and they…they won't get her!" Amber started to rub her temples with her fingers, "No! Stop saying that! Leave me alone! Please leave me alone!" The girl ignored the stares from people walking by and when the voices left her after their cruel words she walked back to the surf shack and started working again.

Miley and Natalie watched Lilly surf and cheered when she came in third. Lilly was disappointed with her results and cursed that the two people who beat her were professionals and should not have been allowed to surf. Amber did not come down to watch her but she really did not mind. Lilly knew Amber's mood and knew she was not herself so she did not let it bother her. After the competition Lilly told Miley she would see her at the party later that night, hugged her friend, and her and Natalie walked to get Amber and go home for dinner and to get cleaned up and changed for the party; Lilly would not get there until about ten since that was when the party really picked up. On the drive back to the house, Lilly noticed Amber was much more withdrawn than she normally was in her dark periods and she even acted mean with some of her short comments. The blonde just shrugged it off and focused her conversation to Natalie. When they got home Lilly and Natalie agreed on ordering a pizza for dinner and Amber did not protest.

The three girls were in the kitchen; Amber sitting at the table massaging her temples as if she had a headache, Natalie sitting across from her staring at the older girl with a look of concern on her face, and Lilly just hung up the phone after ordering the pizza.

"Should be here in about thirty minutes or so…God I am so hungry."

"Me too!" Natalie shouted and Amber looked up at her.

"Good, that will give you plenty of time to take a bath. You have sand all in your hair and dirt under your nails."

Natalie frowned, "I will…after we eat. Can I have a snack before the pizza gets here…I am so hungry."

"Sure, what would you…" Lilly started to say but was interrupted by Amber.

"No you may not have a snack. It will ruin your dinner. And you will take a bath before we eat!" Amber said harshly.

Lilly blinked hard in surprise as Natalie's eyes started to tear up. Lilly walked to the girl and took her hand, "Come on, honey, let's go take a quick bath and then I will get you a little snack." Natalie smiled at Lilly.

"I said no! She will ruin her dinner! And she is very capable of taking her own bath without you holding her hand. Hell, she surfs and swims in the ocean so I doubt she will drown in a bathtub! Stop spoiling her! And…and take out those silly braids…your mother will be furious with me if she sees them!" Amber said as she looked at Lilly defiantly.

Natalie looked at Amber and then Lilly and there was fear on her face. Lilly gently squeezed her shoulder, "I have no idea what has gotten into you this evening, but you need to just chill! I am going to give her a bath and then a damn snack!" Lilly walked Natalie out of the room. She expected Amber to scream or yell at her but the Goth girl did not say a word and started rubbing her temples again.

"Lilly, what is wrong with her? She…she had never been this sick before or acted so…so mean?" Natalie asked as Lilly ran her bath water.

"I don't know, honey, I…I have no idea. We just have to be patient with her, ok?"

Natalie nodded as she started washing her body in the tub, "Lilly, will you stay with me tonight? Sleep in my bed with me? I…she is scaring me a little."

Lilly took the wash cloth away from Natalie and helped the girl wash, "I…I have to leave later. I am going to a party and promised Miley I would be there. I am coming back to spend the night and I will sleep with you then. But…don't be scared of her. Amber would never hurt you, you know that. She loves you too much."

"Can I come to the party?"

Lilly smiled and started unbraiding the girl's hair, "No, baby, it is a party for older teenagers and grownups. I'm sorry, but I promise I'll come back after the party and sleep with you…ok?"

Natalie nodded, "Do we have to take out the braids, Lilly? I love them."

"Yeah, Amber's right; your mom may be mad."

After she bathed and Lilly brushed her hair the two girls went downstairs to find Amber still sitting at the table and it looked like she had not moved at all. Lilly got the girl a small snack and took her to the living room and they played with her Hannah Montana doll while they waited for the pizza. They did not have to wait long and Lilly placed the slices of pizza on plates and gave a plate to both Amber and Natalie. Amber just pushed hers away on the table while both Lilly and Natalie ate quickly since they were hungry. Amber watched the two as they laughed and talked and jealousy built up in her.

"That was good. I have not had pizza in a long time. Thanks, Lilly." Natalie said as she pushed her plate away from her.

Amber looked up, "Yeah…mean cruel Amber won't let you have good stuff, huh? Well I am soooo sorry I don't spoil you like your dear sweet Lilly does!" Lilly looked at Amber in shock.

"I…I…I did not mean that, Ams…I just thought it was good and…I…I'm sorry." Natalie said as her bottom lip trembled.

"What the hell, Amber? Why are you being so mean to her?"

Amber looked at Lilly coldly, "Don't you have a party to go to or something? I would hate for you to be late and have _Miley_ upset with you." Amber then looked at Natalie, "You see, baby, your wonderful Lilly is leaving us tonight to go party with someone she loves more than us. Isn't that right, Lilly?"

Lilly stood up, "Don't say another word, Amber! I have been very patient and calm all day and all night with you but you are pushing it. I promised Miley I would show up and we do this every year. I told you I would be back later tonight."

Natalie looked at the two and became afraid, "I…I am tired and want to go to bed." She said as she got up.

"I'll come tuck you in, baby, and tell you a story." Amber said as she stood.

"No…I want Lilly to tuck me in and read me a story. I…I don't want to listen to a story tonight."

"Fine…then go to bed!" Amber said and got up and walked out of the kitchen to the living room.

Lilly took Natalie to her room, read her a story, and lay down with her until she drifted to sleep. She looked at her watch ad saw it was nine thirty and about time for her to leave for the party but she was going to have words with Amber regardless if the girl was in her dark period or not. The way she had been acting all day and evening to Natalie was unforgivable. Lilly could take it, but Amber really upset and scared the small girl. Lilly walked into the living room and saw Amber sitting on the couch with her head down and rubbing her temples.

"What the fuck, Amber? The way you treated Natalie all afternoon and this evening was terrible! What is your deal tonight? I know you are…well…you are in your own little world and spacing out but that is no excuse to jump all over that poor girl!"

Amber looked up and Lilly saw tears running down her cheeks and causing her makeup to run down with the tears. "You can't have her! I won't let you take her with you!" Amber screamed and Lilly took a step back.

"What are you fucking talking about? Take who where?"

"Natalie! You can't have her! She is mine…she belongs to me! I saw you and that whore Miley with her today! You are going to try and take her from me but you can't! I won't let you! She is mine and she…she…she belongs to me! You can't steal her love from me!"

Lilly was shocked at the words Amber was screaming at her, "Amber…I…I have no idea what you mean. I…I would never take Natalie from you. Hell, she would never leave you anyway if I wanted to. She loves you, baby, she loves you so much. I…I…and Miley is not a whore…please don't call her that. She is my best friend and I don't like it when people call her names."

Amber laughed but Lilly knew it was a forced one, "Yeah…how fucking convenient, huh? Your best friend may ass! You are running out of the house to meet your precious whore Miley…well go to her! I don't care…but…but you can't have Natalie! I will not allow you to take her! I would kill you before I let you take her from me! And…and if you leave don't come back! I don't want you lying next to me with that slut's stink of sex all over you!"

Lilly stared at Amber in disbelief. She never heard the girl scream or yell like she was doing now; she sounded hysterical. Lilly grew more concerned than angry at the words coming from Amber's mouth. She took a step close to Amber, but the girl looked at her, "No! Don't fucking touch me! Just…just leave! Go fuck your whore!" Amber screamed and Lilly turned to the door. She had tears in her eyes as she walked to the door. She knew what ever was happening to Amber it was beyond anyway she could help. She felt a little guilty about leaving Natalie there, but she knew Amber would never do anything to hurt the girl. As she walked through the kitchen to the back door she heard Amber crying and then the girl shouted something that made her freeze.

"I fucked her, you know! I fucked your precious Miley…more than once! See…she is a whore to fuck her best friend's girlfriend!"

Lilly turned and walked back into the living room and saw Amber was now standing up with her hands folded across her chest. "That got you back, huh?"

Lilly looked at her, "Stop, Amber! Stop it right now! I have no idea what has gotten into you and why you are being so paranoid, but I know you and Miley never did anything. She…she would never do that to me. Stop lying to me!"

Amber smiled cruelly, "Oh I'm not lying, dear Lillian. She fucked me and I fucked her. She made me cum four times and I made her cum over and over. She loved it when I stuck my fingers in her ass. You never did that to her did you? Well you should…she loved it and begged me to do it again and again!"

Lilly put her hands over her ears, "No! Stop it! Why are you telling me these things?" Lilly prayed to herself it was not true but for some reason she believed Amber.

"Because I want you to know she is a whore! I…I did not want to at first. It was the night we got into that fight and I went to her for comfort and…and she kissed me and then…then she seduced me and at first I tried to stop her…but it felt good when she kissed my nipples and fingered me and…and you would not have sex with me…and it happened!" Amber lied, "It felt so good, Lilly, to have someone make love to me and hold me in a way you wouldn't…but I hated myself for it and told her never again, but one day in the locker room during gym class she made me…she had me go down on her. I…she made me but it felt good!" Amber started crying again and Lilly turned and started walking from the room. She was crying and her heart was breaking. She felt Amber grab her legs and she turned to see the girl on the floor hugging her legs so she could not walk.

"Please, Lilly! I am so sorry! Please don't leave me! I love you…please don't go! I…I am sorry and I didn't want to but she…she seduced me! I love you! Please I am sooo sorry! Please don't leave me!"

Lilly reached out and wanted to caress the girl's hair but stopped herself and gently kicked Amber away. "Just…just leave me alone! I…we are done, Amber! I…I would have done anything for you because I love you so much…but…I…I cannot forgive this!" Lilly cried as she spoke the words and walked from the house as she heard Amber begging forgiveness and telling her she loved her.

Lilly drove around for about an hour crying and trying to sort out what had happened. She felt a pit in her stomach and a pain in her heart as she drove around crying. Lilly did not drive with a purpose but when she stopped she noticed she was at the beach. She walked to the party and looked around for Miley and soon she saw her friend dancing with Oliver. Lilly walked to Miley and grabbed her arm and roughly dragged the girl away from the loud music. When they got to a clear area, Miley smiled at her friend.

"Lils, about time you showed up! I was beginning to worry…but damn you hurt my arm." Miley went to hug her friend and the look on Lilly's face stopped her.

"Have you been drinking?" Lilly asked. Miley shook her head.

"No…not yet but I may later. Is that why you are mad? I promised you I would not get drunk tonight…and I haven't been drinking." Miley turned to Oliver who had followed his two friends, "Tell her, Oliver."

"No, she hasn't been, Lilly…calm down, babe."

Lilly ignored Oliver and stared at Miley, "I don't give a fuck if you get drunk tonight! I just wanted to make sure you could feel this!" Lilly shouted and then slapped Miley in the face as hard as she could. Miley stumbled back and held her cheek as Oliver stepped between the two.

"What the fuck, Lilly, why…"

"Stay the fuck out of this, Oliver; it is none of your damn business!" Lilly screamed at the boy and he turned to Miley and the brown haired girl nodded to him and looked at Lilly.

"How…how long have you known?" She asked in a scared voice.

"For about a fucking hour! How…how could you, Miley! How could you!" Lilly started to cry again, "You of all people to…to do this…I…ohhh fuck you, Miley…why…please tell me why!" Lilly shouted.

Miley took a step to her friend and Lilly stepped back. "I…I don't know. It just happened…I…oh God I am so sorry, Lilly…please I am so sorry!" Miley began to cry and Oliver kept looking at the two girls with a look of confusion.

"Just happened? Fucking my girlfriend does not just happen! What was it Miley? Did it make you that jealous I was happy? I loved her, Miley…hell I still love her…and did it just kill you to see me in love? Don't you have enough, Miley? Did it brother you so much I had something you didn't and you had to steal that from me? I…why…you were my best friend! I trusted you with everything in my life! I…I loved you, Miley…with all my heart and…" Lilly broke down and put her head in her hands and started sobbing. Miley was crying as well and once again reached out for Lilly but the blonde slapped her hand away.

"Tell me, Miley…tell me why? I want to understand!" Lilly screamed.

"I…I don't know…she…she came on to me and it just happened?"

"Liar! She said you came on to her! Stop lying, Miley! Stop lying to me and tell me why! Why do you have to be so selfish you could not let me have this! You have everything! Why her too! This is the last time I am ever going to talk to you so make it good!" Lilly screamed again.

Miley just stood there crying and after a while Lilly looked back up at her, "You broke my heart, Miley!" Lilly said and turned and walked back to her car. She heard Miley screaming behind her saying how sorry she was and Lilly turned.

"Go to hell, Miley Stewart! We are no longer friends!" Lilly turned and walked away.

Miley turned to Oliver for comfort but the boy turned his back on her.

"Oliver, please!" Miley begged. Oliver turned around, "Miles, I love you and you are one of my best friends and I am not going to take sides, but what you did was so wrong." He walked away.

Miley fell to the sand on her butt and started crying and a few minutes later she felt a tap on her shoulder. She looked up and saw Jake standing over her with two margaritas in his hands. He offered one to her and she took it and gulped it down. Jake smiled and sat down next to her.

"Rough night, huh?"

Miley looked at him, "What the fuck do you want, Jake?"

He shrugged, "To be friends again. I know we won't date anymore but we can be friends…I missed you, baby. And…I wished you wouldn't have believed what that whore freak told Lilly. It was not true…yeah she gave me a blow job, but she did it willingly."

Miley looked at him and after her experience with Amber she felt she could believe Jake. She took his drink from his hand and took a big swallow. "Ok…but friends only…and get me another drink. I need to get blitzed tonight." Miley said and Jake smiled as he reached in his pocket and pulled out a white pill.

"Here, try this…it's just X and it will help you get blitzed and feel good." Miley looked at the pill and shrugged her shoulders.

"What the fuck, right!" She said and took the pill and a large swallow of the margarita. Jake smiled at her and got up to get her another drink.


	18. Chapter 18

Miley woke up the next morning and groaned in pain when she turned her head to look around, her head pounded with the pain of a hangover. After she glanced around the room she sat up quickly since she did not recognize her surroundings and when she tried to get out of bed to pee she found a body wrapped around her legs and could not move. Miley looked at the body and saw Jake's sleeping face and on his lips was a smile of satisfaction.

"No…I didn't? Oh God please no!" Miley said aloud and after she pried herself from the boy and moved her body the girl felt her thighs muscles ache, her pelvis area was sore, her jaw ached, and her anus was sore as well. "Oh, fuck! I did! Oh God, Oh God…why did I drink so much?" Then she remembered a little of what happened. Jake gave her a hit of ecstasy and she downed several drinks and then they danced and kissed and she danced with one of his friends and she vaguely remembered making out with the other boy as well. "Oh…fuck!" She almost screamed and Jake moaned but did not wake up. Miley crawled out of bed and a wave of nausea hit her stomach and she ran naked to the bathroom. As she was about to turn the door knob on the bathroom door it suddenly opened and another boy walked out naked with a large smile on his face. Miley ran her eyes up his body to his face and realized two things. The first was she knew why her pubic area and lower stomach was so sore; his penis was huge even not erect. The second thing was she recognized him as the friend of Jake's she danced with and made out with.

"Well good morning, sexy." The boy said and Miley pushed him out of the way, ran into the bathroom, shut the door, and got sick. She threw up several times and soon started dry heaving; as she kneeled on the bathroom floor with her head in the toilet she tried to remember the events of the previous night and all that came to her was Lilly slapping her, telling her they were no longer friends, Jake showing up, the drinking, her taking the drug, and the dancing and make out sessions with the two boys. Everything else was a blur or a blank, but she by the way she felt she could guess the rest. Miley stood up on shaky legs, wrapped a towel around her naked body, and walked back into the room and looked around. It was a hotel room and Jake was now awake and sitting up on the bed smiling and the other boy, Miley did not even know his name, was sitting on the edge of the bed sill naked and his penis was now erect and while Miley did not have much experience with boys and their private areas she knew it was gigantic compared to other boy's.

"We sure had a great time last night, Miley. Hell if I knew you were such a freak in bed I would have fucked you a long time ago." Jake said while laughing. Miley could tell they were not hung over like she was.

Miley gave him a hard look, "Shut up…and what did you give me last night? That was not X? I did X before and that was not it!"

Jake laughed louder, "Yeah…it was not X. Just a little thing my buddy Steve here cooked up in chemistry class. Works great. Makes a girl horny as hell and forget a lot but does not make her pass out like most GHP drugs so she can be very responsive and enjoy herself."

Miley stared at the boy and felt her anger grow, "You…you did rape Amber didn't you?"

Jake shrugged, "Oh come on…rape is a strong word, Miley…yeah I made her but I did not have to really force her to do it. She seemed willing enough."

The other boy chuckled and Miley looked at him and then back at Jake, "Where are my fucking clothes? I am out of hear! You are such a pig, Jake! I…at one time we were at least good friends…why…why did you do this?"

Again Jake shrugged, "Well…a little revenge for dumping me and kicking me in the balls for starters. And you were very willing last night, Miles. You acted like a slut with me and Steve while we danced…you wanted it."

"It was that damn drug and…and I don't remember any of it. I am leaving so please tell me where my clothes are, asshole!" Miley screamed and it caused her head to hurt more. Jake laughed.

"They are scattered about the room…you could not wait to take them off. Hell you were about half naked by the time we got out of the car and you were already sucking Steve's dick on the ride over. Speaking of which," Jake looked at Steve, "I think both of us can do with a little action this morning…to give you a proper send off." Steve grinned and held his massive penis up for Miley to look at. Miley stared at it and swallowed hard.

"N…n…no! I am going!" She said and heard Jake laugh.

"Not yet, baby, not yet. You see I video recorded some of your umm…actions last night. Pretty fucking hot by the way…and you are going to fuck us again or I will show it to some people at school" Jake pulled a small digital recorder from under his pillow, turned it on, pressed play, and watched it while he laughed. After a few seconds he handed it to Steve, "I love this scene…look Steve as she rides you and I fuck her ass. Damn this is hot!" Jake looked at a shocked and scared Miley, "I would post it on the net…but being seventeen I could get into some serious trouble so maybe a select few at school." He laughed and Miley saw Steve slowly stroking his very large manhood as he watched the video. Miley could hear her own moans of pleasure coming from the small player. She felt tears come to her eyes.

"Please, Jake…I can't…I don't feel good and…and I am sore. Please don't make me do this. I…I'll do it later to you…to both of you…I promise…just not now...please." Miley pleaded and Jake laughed.

"Of course you will fuck us again…as many times as we want whenever we want as long as I have the video I own your sweet ass. But right now I am horny and as you can tell so is Steve."

Steve grinned at Miley, "Now drop the towel and come suck my dick, whore." The boy said. Miley swallowed hard again, dropped her towel, knelt in front of the boy, and struggled and gagged as she took his huge manhood in her mouth.

A little over an hour later, Miley was dressed and walking to the hotel lobby to call a cab. She had the desk clerk call her a taxi and sat down in the lobby to wait and winced at the pain. They used her like a whore again and when Steve penetrated her lubricated butt she screamed in pain as Jake laughed at her and placed his penis in her mouth. She gagged at when she thought of what they made her swallow and she thought at least they used condoms when they penetrated her. Miley opened her purse and looked at her cell phone and saw at least twenty unanswered calls form her dad and Jackson. _Oh fuck he is going to kill me! And…I have that stupid concert tonight for that charity…oh shit what did I get myself into. I am never drinking again_! Miley said to herself and let out a small smile as she saw the small video recorder in her purse, she took it as she was getting dressed without the boys seeing her. She figured she would destroy it when she got home. She dialed Lilly's number and it went to voice mail so she hung up. On the cab ride to her car and then the ride to her house, Miley called Lilly almost every twenty seconds and each call went to voice mail. When she got home her dad yelled at her for being out all night but Miley ignored him, took a shower, got in bed, and cried herself to sleep heartbroken at the lose of her best friend. Jackson woke her to tell her to get ready for the concert and Miley surprised him when she folded herself into his arms and cried. At the concert Hannah Montana was booed off the stage for the first time in her career as she sang off key and forgot words to her songs. After the third number she gave up and cried as she ran to her dressing room. The tabloid press went wild with rumors of the show about drug use. Her dad did his best to comfort her, but Miley just cried over what she did to her best friend and cursed the day she met Amber St. Claire and the girl herself. She never hated someone as she did the petite sexy Goth girl that she felt ruined her life.

Lilly woke up the next morning and the first thing she did as start crying again. Her heart was broken by two people she dearly loved. The previous night she ignored her mother's attempt to find out what was wrong and went straight to bed. Lilly still loved both Miley and Amber very much but knew she could no longer have anything to do with either girl. She was betrayed in the worse way and knew it was over with both girls. Lilly grabbed her cell phone off her nightstand and turned it on and saw at least thirty missed calls from Miley and none from Amber. The blonde was surprised at the pain she felt that Amber did not call her. She did not want to talk to the girl, but seeing she did not even call hurt her. But it was Miley that hurt her the most; for her best friend to do what she did was a devastating blow to her. With Amber and the girl's mental state she may…just may…have forgiven the girl over time if she had been with anyone else but Miley, but Miley knew better. She knew Lilly's view on cheating and knew the blonde hated anyone that did. Lilly was heartbroken to lose Miley as her best friend, but she knew she could never forgive her for what she did to her. Lilly dialed Oliver's number and it went to voice mail. She knew he liked to sleep late on Sundays or he may have hooked up last night with someone.

"Hey, Ollie…it's me…I need you! Please call me or come over…I" Lilly started crying again, "Please…just come over…I…I need you." She closed her phone and curled up in the bed, clutched her pillow, and started sobbing again. She would wait for Oliver to come over, she knew he would without hesitation, and maybe go for a walk on the beach with him while she cried in his arms. She always felt better at the beach she loved and Oliver was a very good friend and knew not to say anything but let her cry and as he held her. She briefly thought she may even have sex with him to help her, but she knew she would not do that. She was still in love with Amber and Lilly could not have sex with someone else while she was in love with the girl. She may not like her and knew she would never be with her again, but she did not get over love quickly. Plus she knew Oliver would not have sex with her either, he would know why she wanted to and he would decline. Lilly smiled through her tears, Oliver was one of the few good guys left in the world and she was glad he was her friend. Her smile vanished as her mind flashed unconsciously to Amber and she started sobbing again as she thought of the words the girl told her last night. She also thought of Natalie and how much she was going to miss the little girl she loved and thought of as a little sister. That made her sad to think of how someone as innocent as Natalie got hurt for something she was not even involved in. _ Maybe Amber would let me still see her_, Lilly thought and she clutched her pillow harder and whished she had never met the Goth girl even if she loved her so much.

Amber woke up as she felt her arm being tugged and a tickle on her nose. She opened her eyes and saw a small head full of golden blonde hair that spilled over her face causing her nose to tickle. Amber looked around the room and saw she was in Natalie's bed and eased her arm from the girl trying not to wake her, but she had to pull harder since the girl clutched her arm tightly and refused to let go. She heard Natalie moan and the girl turned around in the bed to face her older friend and gave Amber a sad sleepy smile.

"Go back to sleep, Little Peep, I need to go to the bathroom." Amber said with a slight smile and Natalie nodded as she let go of Amber's arm. When Amber got out of bed she noticed she was wearing her bra and panties and tried to focus on her memory of last night. She remembered her and Lilly fighting and her terrible confession about Miley and then laying on the couch crying, but that was all. She could not remember going to Natalie's room to sleep. Amber used the bathroom and looked in the mirror and saw her mascara had dried black streaks down her face from her tears of the previous night. She washed her face and made a mental note to one day buy some waterproof mascara and then went back to Natalie's room and crawled back in bed. The girl smiled and opened her eyes she felt Amber's weight on her bed and she turned back to her friend. Amber looked at her.

"How did I get here…I don't remember coming to your room." Amber asked.

"I heard you crying and went and got you. I walked you up here…you were so sad and crying real bad." Natalie said and then frowned, "Lilly is never coming back is she, Ams? She is not our friend anymore is she?"

Amber frowned and ran her fingers through the girl's long blonde hair, "Why do you say that?"

Natalie shrugged, "I heard you and Lilly fighting…it sounded bad and you…well…you said some stuff and some bad words and I heard her tell you she was not your friend anymore."

Amber felt her eyes grow watery and took a deep breath, "Yeah, baby, we are no longer friends. But she can be your friend still if you want."

Natalie gave Amber a confused look, "Is that allowed? I mean…you are my best friend and sister and…I didn't know I could still be her friend if you and her weren't friends.

Amber smiled at the girl's innocence, "Yes, Little Peep, it's allowed if both of you want it. But she…well…she is never going to talk to me again and she may feel being your friend would hurt her as well…maybe you can ask her if you see her today at the beach while I work."

Natalie shrugged, "Maybe…did you hurt her, Amber?" Amber nodded and sniffled back her emotions. "How? How did you hurt her, Ams…maybe she will forgive you and you will be friends again." Natalie said hopefully.

Natalie shook her head, "No, baby, I hurt her to bad for her to forgive me. Remember when I told you about trust and how you and I can only trust each other?" Natalie nodded, "Well…she made a mistake in trusting me like that and…well…I hurt that trust very bad and did something she can never forgive. I told her not to trust me or love me…but she did. I tried, baby, I tried to tell her but she did not listen. I am so sorry I took her away from you, Natalie. I wish I didn't…and…and I know you hate me for it…for everything I did and said yesterday. I was so terrible to you and I am sorry. I don't blame you if you love her more than me and would rather be her friend than mine. I understand if you don't love me anymore." Amber started crying again. She soon felt Natalie warm soft lips press gently to hers.

"Ams, I am sad she is no longer our friend, but I never loved her more than you and would never leave you for her or anyone." The girl said.

Amber smiled as she wiped her eyes, "You…you still love me?"

Natalie giggled, "Stop being silly. I…I could never stop loving you. You are the best thing that ever happened to me, Ams." Natalie said and wrapped her arms around the crying older girl and let her cry over losing Lilly.

After an hour Amber got up and took a shower and both she and Natalie cleaned the house up before she had to go to work. They caught the bus to the beach and while Amber worked Natalie played around the shack and wished she could have gone surfing, but she was not going to ask Amber if she could go to the beach today since her friend was very upset about Lilly. Natalie did keep looking up often to see if she could see Lilly but she never did. She did notice Amber did the same as her and knew her "sister" was hoping to see Lilly as well. That evening her mother and father came home and Natalie cried herself to sleep over the memories of a wonderful weekend she had without her parents at home. She never told anyone until she was much older, but she prayed all weekend for God to kill her parents in a plane crash so she could live with Amber her whole life. Natalie knew she should feel guilty for the prayer but she did not. She knew she did not love her parents and would not care if they should die. Before Amber came, she thought she did love them even when her mother hurt her or her father touched her in ways she knew was wrong, but Amber taught her what it was truly like for someone to love her. When she prayed for her parent's deaths she also ended thanking God Amber came into her life.

The next Monday at school Lilly was sitting with Oliver and some other friends who joined them, even through Lilly wanted to be alone, in the cafeteria and she saw Miley sitting by herself playing with her food at a corner table. Miley kept looking up at her and giving her a half smile and Lilly would ignore her as she did all day. The blonde even changed her seat in home room to avoid contact with her ex friend. She was half listening to her friend Jennifer talk about the weekend and her latest antics with her college boyfriend when she felt Oliver elbow her shoulder. She looked up and saw Amber walking to Miley and felt jealousy raise its ugly head inside her. Fine, let them have one another! I don't fucking care! She thought as she looked at her ex girlfriend and ex friend. She then noticed Amber did not sit down but was standing next to Miley talking.

"Miley…I…I want to tell you I am sorry." Amber told the other girl who had yet to look up at her. "I…I did not mean for it to just come out like it did and…I am so sorry for what I did. All of it."

"Get the fuck away from me, Amber. You ruined my life!" Miley said harshly without looking up.

"I…I know…I am so sorry. I…I do care for you and think you are a sweet person and…" Amber was interrupted as Miley stood up and knocked her food try out of her hands. The tray hit her forehead and caused her to stumble back and her left heel broke and she fell to the floor. She moaned in pain and looked up to see Miley standing over her glaring down at her.

"I don't give a fuck what you think of me! I fucking hate you, freaky whore!" Miley screamed, "You…you lied to her! You said I started it! You fucking, bitch! Never talk to me again!" Miley screamed and everyone in the cafeteria turned her way.

Amber looked up at her and smiled, "Yeah…I did but you liked it didn't you? How many times did I make you cum? Don't blame me…you were there to." Amber whispered harshly. She let out a groan as Miley kicked her side.

"Shut up! Shut the fuck up!" Miley screamed and was about to turn away but her adrenaline was coursing through her blood and the shouts of other students yelling at her to fight made her forget herself and she felt like a wild predator sensing helpless prey and jumped on the smaller girl. She grabbed Amber's hair and pulled her head up and slapped her hard and Miley felt Amber's lip split and saw blood splatter on the girl's face. Miley was not a girl to fight but her deep anger and hate to Amber and what she did and the yells of the other students begging for a fight caused her to lose control. She raised her hand again, this time in the form of a fist, and was about to bring it down on the girl's nose when she felt someone pull her off. Miley cursed the person and screamed to be let go when she turned and saw it was Lilly.

"What the fuck, Miley? Stop it right now! Go calm down and leave her alone!" Lilly shouted and some of the students let out moans of disappointment at the fight being stopped.

"Sure, help her out! Your precious Amber needs help! Well let me tell you she needs more than you helping her! The fucking bitch is whacked, Lilly. She is fucking mental! She is a crazy fucking whore!"

Lilly pushed Miley forcefully out of the way and bent down to gently help a crying Amber to her feet. Lilly wrapped her arm around the girl and looked at Miley, "Go fuck yourself, Miley Stewart!" She said and walked Amber out of the cafeteria to the bathroom. Miley pushed Oliver away as the boy went to her and walked out of the cafeteria, ignored two teachers who tried to ask her about the fight, walked out of the school, got in her car, and drove home. She knew the school would call her dad, who was still mad at her for not coming home Saturday night and for her actions at the concert Sunday; but she did not care. She drove halfway home, pulled over, and then started crying and banging her fists on the steering wheel in heartbreak over Lilly hating her.

Lilly walked a crying and bleeding Amber to the bathroom and next to the sink. She ran some cold water and put a wet paper towel to her lip. It was not a bad cut and would not even swell. She then looked at the small bump on the girl's head that was caused by the tray.

"You'll be ok…just a small cut and the bump is nothing." Lilly said as she took a step back from Amber. She wanted to hug the girl and kiss her and fought the temptation. Amber wiped her eyes and smiled.

"Why…why did you help me?' Amber asked.

Lilly shrugged, "Don't get your hopes up. I would have done the same for Miley if the situation would have been reversed and it was her laying on the floor not you." Lilly said and Amber whispered out an "Oh" and frowned.

Lilly sighed, "Look, Amber, I…I love you and I still love her. I can't let go of love just like that. I don't like either of you right now but I don't want to see either of you get hurt. I'm sorry, Amber…I really am. But…I can't be with you…not now and not ever. Even…even if I do love you. I…I tried to understand why you did it and…and why you told me and it does not make sense to me. I never loved her like that. Even when we were together I never loved her the way I love you. You would not have lost me, Amber." Lilly said and started to cry.

"I'm sorry, Lilly. I am so sorry…I…I love you and…please, baby, please…take me back. I'll get on my hands and knees and beg you. I'll do anything for you. Please…I miss you, Lilly. I…I need you!" Amber begged and cried and took a step to Lilly, who backed away.

"I…I can't, Amber. I am so sorry I just can't. Maybe we can be friends one day, but that is all it will ever be." Amber nodded.

"I understand. I am sorry I hurt you and Miley as well." Amber walked past Lilly to leave when she felt the other girl grab her and pull her close and Lilly kissed her passionately and then broke apart.

"I…I do love you and if you need anything, please let me know." Lilly hurried out of the bathroom with tears in her eyes.

The next day Neither Miley or Amber came to school and the only reason Lilly did was to have something to do. She could not just stay at home or she would go crazy. She knew why Miley was out. She heard from Jackson that Robbie Ray was really pissed at her and even started to believe the tabloids about Hannah being on drugs or having a nervous breakdown and he kept her at home to try and talk to his daughter. Lilly heard rumors at school how Miley hooked up with Jake and one of his entourage friends the night of the party and ignored them like she did the other rumors about her, but most people believed them and Jake and Miley started to get a reputation as a slut. What worried Lilly the most was Amber. She thought about calling or texting but decided not to. Her heart could not take anymore pain, but she was relieved when she saw the girl at school Wednesday. Amber looked like she was in her dark period but at least she did not look like anything was out of the ordinary. It was not until Thursday afternoon that Lilly talked to the girl again.

Lilly was driving home from school and it just started to rain. A bad thunderstorm rolled in and as she pulled out of the school parking lot she saw a figure walking in the rain. When she noticed it was Amber she pulled her car up and rolled down the window.

"Get in, Amber…you are going to get sick walking in the rain." Lilly yelled to her. Amber glanced over and continued walking.

"I have to get home." Was all she said.

"Ok…I'll drive you…get in?" Lilly said as she drove slowly next to the walking girl.

Amber looked at her again, "No…I have to get home. Natalie had been sick and I have to go home."

Lilly sighed, "Ok…God damn it, girl! Get in the fucking car and I will fucking drive you home!"

Amber stopped and nodded. She got in and Lilly saw she was soaking wet and her makeup started to run. She giggled, "One day you had better get waterproof make up. There are some tissues in the glove compartment." Amber nodded and opened the compartment and started wiping her face.

"What's wrong with her…with Natalie?" Lilly asked concerned.

Amber shrugged, "She has the flu and…and I have been taking care of her the last couple of days since her mom…well…she had been sick and I need to get home to her." Amber said in a frightened voice.

Lilly nodded and drove the girl to her house. Neither girl spoke another word to one another as they drove and when they pulled up in the driveway Amber let out a frightful whimper and Lilly looked over and saw what she was staring at. Natalie was sitting on the front porch swing and the wind was driving the rain into her. She was soaking wet. Amber did not even wait until the car stopped before she jumped out and ran to the girl through the grassy yard. She slipped once and got back to her feet and reached Natalie. Lilly pulled the car in the driveway as she saw Amber grabbing the girl and talking to her.

"Oh God, baby, you are soaking wet and shivering." Amber said as she hugged Natalie. "What on earth are you doing out here in this weather? You should be in bed." Amber then noticed Natalie stank and she noticed the girl had vomit on her clothes.

Natalie looked up, "I'm so cold, Ams, it's so cold out here." Natalie shivered and hugged Amber back weakly. Amber felt the girl's forehead.

"Oh, baby, you are so hot. You have a terrible fever and I need to get you inside and into dry clothes."

"Amber, I'm sorry….I did not mean it…mommy is going to be so mad at me." The girl said through chattering teeth.

Amber gripped he girl's arms, "What, baby, what happened?" She said with fear in her voice.

"I…I was trying to get my medicine and…and I dropped her pills in the sink. Oh, Amber, the top was not on al the way and they spilled down the sink. I…I didn't mean to…I am so sorry. She is going to punish me bad for this isn't she?"

Amber let go of Natalie with a look of shock on her face. She stood up and leaned her head against the column on the porch. She started banging her head against the column. "Oh…God…no…please no. I…I can't take it anymore! Please no…I can do it anymore!" Amber whimpered. She knew the woman was going to be very angry and any punishment would be extremely severe.

Natalie looked at the car and saw Lilly getting out and walking up the walkway to the porch, "Is that Lilly? Are you and her friends again? Ams, tell her to take you away! Make Lilly take you and never come back! Please, Ams…don't stay here anymore and runaway!" The girl begged.

For about four seconds, Amber thought she would. She thought she would beg Lilly to take her to the bus station, beg some money off her for a ticket, and go back to Seattle and back to the couple she loved as her own parents. Then she looked at Natalie and saw the shivering girl with vomit on her clothes and she knew she could not leave her to the cruel painful punishment her mother would dish out for losing the pills. She grabbed Natalie gently. "No…you go inside and to the bathroom and I'll be up in a moment. We are going to get you cleaned up and then you are going to bed. I…I'll talk to your mother about the pills."

Natalie's eyes grew wide with fear, "No…I can't let you! She…she is going to punish you bad if you tell her and take the blame. No…please, Ams…go away…please go away!" Natalie begged but when Amber hugged her tight she knew the older girl would never leave her and she ran into the house and up the stairs.

Amber turned to Lilly, "Go, Lilly…just please go! Thank you and…please leave."

Lilly took Amber's arm as the girl turned, "No…is she ok? What the fuck is going one? Why was she outside? Fucking tell me what the hell is going on!"

Natalie gave her a small smile, "You know…I do love you so much. Maybe if I was not crazy we could have been special…and…and I could have worked on your language." Amber forced a giggle. She then leaned up and kissed Lilly on the lips, "Please just go…and I do love you. Always remember no matter what happens I love you, Lilly Truscott." Amber turned and walked in the house. Lilly stayed on the porch for about five minutes and then walked to her car crying. As she drove home in tears she was determined to do her best and forgive Amber and tell her tomorrow she loved her and wanted her back and she would do whatever she had to and get her and Natalie out of that house…even if it was illegal.


	19. Chapter 19

Lilly drove home deep in thought and crying as she thought of what to do with her feelings for Amber and would occasionally pull over and slam her hands on the steering wheel and shout out curses. Lilly had mixed emotions on what to do. She knew she loved Amber a great deal, that she did not doubt, but the girl cheated on her and that was inexcusable in her book. Then to do it with her best friend, a girl she loved as deep as a sister, made the matter worse. She wanted to forgive Amber for what she did, but she also wanted to hate the girl; something she could not do regardless of how hard she tried. She was confused and knew it was time to talk to her mother and get advice from a woman she admired and looked up to a great deal even if she did not show it all the time.

Lilly got home and found her mother sitting at the kitchen table in their small apartment. Lilly looked at her mom before the woman knew she was there and smiled. She always found her mother very pretty and so did her friends. Oliver loved to come visit her just to see her mom and when Lilly and Oliver dated he would tease Lilly about breaking up with her so he could date her mother. Lilly would laugh and tell the boy her mom would eat him alive. The main issue Lilly's mother had is trusting men due to what her ex husband did to her. That was one reason Lilly thought she could not forgive Amber. Lilly cleared her throat and her mother looked up and smiled.

"Mom…can I talk to you for a minute?'

The older woman feigned a look of shock, "Wow…my own daughter actually wants to talk to me! I may go into cardiac arrest just hearing those words."

Lilly rolled her eyes and sat down, "Mom…please stop. It's important."

Ms. Truscott smiled, "Ok…but I need to talk to you as well. That's why I have been waiting for you. Who goes first?" Lilly pointed at her mother and the woman continued, "Robbie Ray called me this afternoon."

Lilly sighed, "What did the jerk want?"

"Lilly! You and he used to get along so stop that. He has always been nice to you. Anyway, he is concerned, honey, concerned about Miley. Seems she got into a fight at school earlier this week and he says she has not been out of her room since Monday. Robbie told me she just sleeps and cries and does not eat. He's worried, baby, and thought you may know what's going on. He…well…he thinks it may be drugs."

Lilly rolled her eyes, "No she is not on drugs! God he is an idiot. Yeah she drinks at parties on occasion but she does not do drugs. I think she is…well…I know about the fight and she was totally wrong. All the girl did was talk to her…anyway…I don't care what's wrong with her. Miley is a lying whore!"

"Lillian Truscott! She is your best friend!"

Lilly gave a harsh chuckle, "She used to be…but I found out what I mean to her and her views on friendship recently and she is nothing to me now but a lying whore I hope I never see again!"

Ms. Truscott looked shocked but did not press the issue, "Well…maybe give her dad a call or Jackson even and help them out. I…well…I…well you know how much I adore Miley and hopefully you and her can work things out. Now to your problem."

Lilly gave her mom a confused look, "How do you know it's a problem?" The older woman laughed.

"Because, daughter who I love more than anything in this world, I know you would never ask to have a moment like this unless it is a problem you are having and confused about. You are a very strong and independent girl and for you to come to me for help it must be a problem."

Lilly smiled, "Yeah…more of a dilemma…Mom, after dad cheated on you…well…did you ever think about forgiving him and working things out?"

Lilly's mom gave her a look of surprise. "What…ummm…well…wow, Lilly, what brought this on? Did he contact you again? I…I know how you feel about him but if he wants to see you I think you should. He is your father and the problems we had should not affect you. One good quality he had was he was a good father and loved you."

Lilly smirked, "No he did not call me…I think I made it clear to him after the last time he called to never contact me again. No…I was asking because…well…I was only nine when the two of you split up and I was just wandering if you thought about it. I mean to end a marriage over that one thing…yeah I know it was bad and I don't like him for what he did to you…but maybe you could have worked things out."

Ms. Truscott laughed and then grabbed Lilly's hand, "Lilly…oh baby, do you think that is why I divorced him…because he had that affair with his secretary? Oh, my poor child…no I divorced him for the number of affairs he had not just that one. He cheated on me constantly even before we were married. If it was just the one…well maybe we could have worked it out. Why the question…did the person you are dating cheat on you? Is that why I hear you crying at night?"

Lilly nodded and her eyes got watery, "How did you know I was dating someone?"

Her mother laughed, "Please…I know when you are in love…I could tell. How come you never let me meet him…or her?"

Lilly pulled her hand back and stared at her mother, "Her…what makes you think…why did you…mom! Her? I…what…"

"Oh stop it, baby, I know…hell I knew about you and Miley and that girl Allison and of course Oliver. So is it a him or her?"

Lilly smiled at her mother in respect, "Yeah…it's a her…her name is Amber and she is so pretty and sweet and caring and…and so ladylike. She can be clumsy and is totally not into sports but can be so graceful. She always wears dresses or skirts and I have never seen her in a pair of pants and she always looks so perfect and gets upset with me when I curse…and…and…"

"And you love her, right." Lilly nodded and blushed.

"You are ok with me liking girls?"

"I don't mind…I want to see you happy and if you are gay I am fine with that."

Lilly smiled, "Well…I don't know about being gay…I mean I like girls and also like boys…maybe confused…but I love her, mom. I love her so much it hurts when I am not with her and…and…"

"And she cheated on you." Ms. Truscott said and took Lilly's hand again as her daughter nodded and started to cry.

"It hurt, mom, it hurt so bad when she told me…and…I wanted to die. I have tried to hate her for it but I still love her and can't hate her. I…I don't know what to do. I want to be with her again…but I…I don't know if I can trust her."

Ms. Truscott scooted her chair to Lilly's and hugged her daughter tight as Lilly place her head on her shoulder, "I know, baby, I know…but I can't make that choice for you. Only you can. Just think if you can ever trust her again and do you think she would do it again?"

Lilly sniffled and took a deep breath but did not let go of her mother, "I…I don't think she would…I mean…well…mommy, she has a fucked up home life…sorry…but she does. She lives with her aunt and uncle because her mom and dad died and then her older brother got killed in the war…it's complicated, mom. She has a cousin who is only eight and she is so sweet and adorable and…her aunt and uncle…well…they beat them mom. They beat them and hurt Amber and Natalie and sometimes…sometimes Amber spaces out and gets lost in her own little world. I think she does it to escape…and…and she puts herself in harms way to protect the little girl Natalie. Amber loves the girl and she takes abuse so Natalie won't have to. I…I don't know what to do." Lilly started sobbing again and her mother held her tight. Lilly did not mention the sexual abuse the girl suffered as she told her mother of some of the things Amber and Natalie endured. She also left out the more horrible tortures such as the branding and burning with the hot water. When she was done her mother gently pushed her back and Lilly wiped her eyes.

"Oh my poor baby…I…I don't know what to tell you. She won't go to the police?" Lilly shook her head and explained about Amber's fears of the foster homes and her mom nodded, "Yeah…well she is right. Remember that policeman I dated a while back? Well he worked a lot with placing children in foster homes and he told me some horror stories. There are some good ones out there, but the bad ones out number the good ones by about ten to one. Does…does her uncle sexual abuse her?" Lilly lied and shook her head, "Thank goodness for that at least. Oh, poor baby, I cannot tell you what to do but you have to look at some things. First, if you love her and want to be with her it will take time and work to get that trust back. It does not happen over night, but if you think she will not do it again then it may be worth it. Next, you cannot throw it back in her face. That is a terrible thing to do. And last, if you want to work on forgiving her you also have to forgive Miley. You can't forgive Amber and not Miley."

Lilly looked at her mom, "How…how did you know it was with her?"

Ms. Truscott smiled, "Well you and Miley have been friends for a long time and for you to call her a lying whore…I can figure it out. But you can't forgive one without the other, Lilly. It does not work that way."

Lilly pried herself from her mom and stood up, "I…I have some thinking to do…I…I think I will talk to Amber at school tomorrow and…I want to work things out, mom. I love her so much…but…I can't forgive Miley. I can never forgive her for what she did." Lilly walked out of the kitchen and to her room. He mother sighed sadly.

Lilly got to her room and sent Amber a text message, **I luv you! I want to talk tomorrow at school. I really luv you! Lils**, Lilly knew she would not get a reply until later that night so she smiled and clutched her pillow and thought of Amber and knew she could work things out and be happy again.

Amber walked in the house and up the stairs to the bathroom. She saw Natalie sitting on the edge of the tub naked waiting for her. The girl looked pale and was still shivering and sweating.

"Ams, make it hot. I want to take a hot bath…I am so cold."

Amber felt the girl's forehead, "Oh, baby, you are burning up with fever. We have to get your fever down. Have you been drinking juice like I told you? You may be dehydrated."

Natalie shook her head, "Mommy wouldn't let me. She said I would just spill it. I…I don't feel good, Amber…I…I'm going to get sick again." Natalie jumped up and threw up in the toilet as Amber held back her hair, which was already splattered with dry vomit from earlier. Amber was not a doctor but she noticed the girl only threw up bile and her stomach was empty. She got scared and knew Natalie needed a doctor. When Natalie was done vomiting Amber ran her a cool bath and told the protesting girl to get in so they can try and get her fever down. The older girl then went downstairs, avoiding her aunt who was in the living room drinking, and got a glass and the carton of orange juice. Amber made Natalie drink two large glasses of juice and then bathed the girl. After she dried Natalie off she took the girl to her room, made her drink another glass of juice, gave her some medicine, and took her temperature. Amber frowned when she saw it was one oh three but was glad Natalie stopped shivering and sweating. The older girl got Natalie's CD players and head phones off the dresser and sighed with fear. She knew what she had to do and was afraid of what was going to happen to her. Amber walked to the bed and gave the CD player and headphones to the girl.

"Put these on, Little Peep, and do not take them off. I mean that! Do not take them off until I come back up here…I am serious, baby." Natalie nodded and grabbed Amber's hand.

"Amber, I'm scared. I…I don't want her to hurt you. Please…please don't go down there."

Amber kissed the girl's forehead and smiled, "It's going to be ok, Little Peep, I'll come back up here after…after I talk to your mom. Just stay here and don't remove the head phones…promise me you won't take them off."

Natalie, with tears in her eyes, nodded. "I…I promise…I love you, Ams…I love you so much."

Amber closed her own eyes to stop the tears that threatened to drop from her eyes, "I love you to, baby. You…you made my life so much better and…and…I love you." Amber could not say what she wanted. She wanted to tell this girl so much about how she helped her love again and how much she touched her life, but the words would not come. Instead she kissed the girl's lips gently and winked when she pulled back. Amber walked from the room without looking back.

Natalie placed the head phones over her ears, turned the music up, and prayed_. God…please don't let her get hurt to bad…please protect her. And…and please, God, please kill my parents. They are evil people and need to die. Please let it be just me and Amber and…and make Lilly and Amber be friends again_. Natalie knew right from wrong and she knew it was wrong to pray for the death of her mom and dad, but she did not care. She loved Amber too much and wanted her best friend's pain to stop. She cried as she listened to the Jonas Brothers. She preferred Hannah Montana but she could not listen to the girl pop star while Amber got punished because she did not want have memories of Amber getting hurt every time she heard a Hannah Montana song. As she got older, Natalie could never listen to a Jonas Brother song after this night without thinking of Amber and crying. She learned to hate the boy group just from a memory.

Amber walked downstairs and hoped her aunt was not to drunk. She was meaner the drunker she was. Amber walked into the living room and cleared her throat.

"Ummm…m'am…I…I need to talk to you." She said in a fearful voice.

The woman stood, turned around, walked to the girl, and caressed her cheek as she smiled in a cruel way. Amber briefly thought again how pretty this woman must have been before the drugs and alcohol took it's toll on her beauty. She was still attractive, but in a hard cruel way. "Well the little whore actually wants to talk to me, huh? This is a surprise. Please don't tell me you are pregnant. Or let me guess…you have a STD from fucking a bunch of boys at school…or maybe you need a new pimp to sell your ass on the street corner. Now that is a good thought…I may be interested in that job; it may be fun to see you sell your skanky ass on the streets. Hell you give it for free might as well make some money off of you."

Amber ignored her taunts and did not flinch at the touch, "No ma'm…it is Natalie…she needs a doctor. She needs to go to the emergency room or something. Her fever is high and she…" She was interrupted when the woman pinched her cheek and let out a whimper of pain.

"Shut up! She does not need a doctor. She just has a cold. God she is so pathetic and such a cry baby." The woman turned and started to walk away.

"No, m'am…she has the flu and had been vomiting and her fever is one oh three and…" Amber backed away as the woman turned and walked to her. The girl backed into the wall and her head jerked to her right as the woman slapped her.

"I said shut up, slut! Do you think I don't care about her! Fuck you, whore! She is fine. Now go clean the kitchen and leave me alone. I also am defrosting some of those game hens for dinner. You cook them so well and that is what we are having. At least that is one other thing you can do besides fuck boys…you are a decent cook." The woman turned and walked back to her chair. Amber caressed her cheek which burned in pain and took a deep breath. She knew the woman would refuse to take Natalie to the doctor so she would talk to the man tonight. He was a doctor and he would at least look over his daughter and maybe her would determine she needed to see a doctor and get some prescription medicine for her. She swallowed hard and knew this was going to be the terrible part.

"M'am…I…I have to tell you something else." The woman turned and gave her a look as she raised her eyebrow. Amber felt her knees almost give way and felt as if she may pass out. "Well, spit it out, girl!" The woman screamed at her.

"I…well…when I went to get Natalie's medicine…I…I dropped your pills in the sink and the top was not one good…and…well…they spilled down the drain." Amber then fell to her knees as she saw the look on the woman's face, "Oh God…I am so sorry…It…it was an accident! Please…please don't hurt me anymore…I…I'll do anything if you don't hurt me!" Amber begged and started to cry. The woman shouted a few curses at her and then picked her up off the floor by her hair and Amber was half dragged and half crawled to the chair. The girl whimpered in pain and the woman made her sit in the chair.

"Don't fucking move, bitch!" She screamed and Amber nodded as tears of pain and fear fell down her cheeks. The woman left the room and Amber heard her upstairs in the bathroom throwing things from the medicine cabinet. She soon came down holding the empty prescription bottle in one hand and to Amber's shock the handcuffs and nylon cord her husband used on her on some nights in the other. She threw the bottle at Amber and it hit her in the head.

"You, cunt! I…you fucking, cunt!" She screamed, "Hold out your hands!" Amber hesitated and the woman slapped her and grabbed her hands and cuffed them; the woman then tied Amber's feet together with the nylon rope. Amber whimpered and begged but was slapped again.

"Shut up…shut the fuck up!" The woman screamed and then took a deep breath and calmed herself after a few moments while Amber whimpered in fear. The woman walked to Amber and bent down and touched her cheek.

"Do you think I am stupid, Amber?" She asked calmly and Amber shook her head to afraid to talk. "Well I think you must believe I am since you think you can fool me. But you can't, you stupid whore. I know everything that happens in this house." The woman took Amber's handcuffed hands and wiggled them, "Like these little toys of yours and my husbands. I know he uses them on you and where he keeps them and all his amusements." She let go of the girl's hands, "He used to do the same to me; did you know that? I was his plaything at one time." The woman smiled evilly.

"Please…please don't…I'll do anything for you…please don't hurt me. I…I can't take it anymore." Amber begged softly and the woman laughed.

"What do you have I want? What could you do for me I want? No, silly cunt, there is nothing you do I want."

"I'll…I'll stop having sex with your husband…I'll…I'll stop…I promise I'll stop!" Amber pleaded louder and again the woman laughed.

"Why would I want you to stop? I don't care what he does with you. Hell, I am glad because he won't fuck me in his perverted ways anymore since you are here. But back to the original question…I am not stupid even if you think I am. I know what you do, Amber. I know how you protect my daughter. I know you do things or take the blame for things she does so I won't punish her. Like these pills…I know she is the one who spilled them in the sink."

"No! No…it was me! I did it…she…she didn't do anything…it was me!" Amber screamed and the woman laughed once more.

"No, whore, it was Natalie…admit it! Admit it was her and I will let you go and you will not be punished. Think of it, Amber, no pain today and all you have to do is tell me the truth. Spare yourself, Amber, I know it has been hard on you and I know you are tired of the pain…make it easy and tell me the truth." The woman said in a very kind and motherly fashion as she lovingly caressed Amber's hair.

Amber whimpered and for a moment she thought she would. She wanted to tell this evil woman she did not spill the pills and be able to spare herself anymore pain, but then she thought of that small beautiful child upstairs and she knew she could not do it. She knew she would die for Natalie if it came to that.

"Fuck you!" Natalie screamed, "I did it! And…and I was glad it happened you junkie whore!"

The woman screamed in frustration and pulled Amber to the floor by her hair and rolled the girl on her stomach. Amber kicked and struggled but with her hands cuffed and her feet bound she could not do much. She felt the woman pull her skirt up and rip off her panties. Amber whimpered and turned her head to see the woman walk to the lamp and pull the electrical cord from the stand and double it up in her hand. Amber screamed when the cord struck her naked butt cheeks and the back of her thighs. The woman hit her over and over and Amber cried and screamed in pain. Soon Amber was on the floor whimpering and crying in pain and the woman stopped and bent down to pull Amber's head up by her hair.

"See, bitch, this is what you get for lying and calling me a junkie whore! We have not even started your punishment for spilling my pills. Now back on the chair, dear girl." The woman said once again in a calm voice and laughed as Amber whimpered and struggled to get to her feet and back in the chair. It took her a while to do so, but once she was seated the woman smiled at her. "Do you know what would hurt you more than me punishing you?" Amber shook her head hard, "For you to watch me punish Natalie. That would hurt you wouldn't it, Amber?"

Amber's eyes went wide, "Noooo! God please no…leave her alone! She…she didn't do anything!" The woman laughed and gagged Amber with her own panties.

"Be a good girl and stay put…we don't want poor little Natalie to be hurt anymore than she needs now do we?"

Amber shook her head fast and muffled out pleas for the woman to leave Natalie alone but it didn't do any good. The woman left the room and soon she returned with Natalie walking behind her. The girl looked pale from the flu but also from fear. As soon as she saw Amber bound and gagged in the chair and with tears running down her cheeks, Natalie ran to her friend and dropped to her knees at Amber's feet and hugged them.

"Amber…what…please mommy! Please leave her alone! Don't hurt her anymore, mommy…please!" Natalie begged and looked at her mother.

Her mother pulled her up by her arm roughly and pushed her to the floor, "Stop your pathetic begging, bitch! I am through punishing her anyway. Do you know what she told me, Natalie? I gave her a choice to either be punished or tell me the truth and she could not wait to tell me it was you who spilled my medicine in the sink. She does not love you, Natalie, she could not wait to save herself and watch you get punished as long as she did not."

Amber thrashed her body and tried to tell Natalie it was a lie and not to believe the woman, but the gag prevented the words from coming from her mouth and all Natalie heard was muffled cries. The girl looked at her mother and started crying at what she knew was going to happen and then at Amber. What Natalie did next surprised and frightened Amber and even in the situation she was in made the Goth girl's heart burst with pride and love for the girl. Natalie smiled through her tears and winked at Amber and the turned back to her mother as she stood up on her feet.

"Well, mommy, she is right! I did do it and you know what, you bitch! I did it on purpose!" The girl screamed. While Amber was proud of the girl she also felt fear coarse through her at what would happen to Natalie. The woman was so stunned that she did not react at first and when she did she slapped Natalie with such force the girl fell back and her head landed on the coffee table with a sickening thud. Amber saw Natalie fall and hit the table and the girl role to the floor not moving. Her eyes were closed. The woman moved to her and kicked her in the side.

"You are just like her! You are going to be a whore like her!" The woman screamed at her daughter as she kicked her repeatedly and Amber heard a terrible crack and knew at least one of the girl's ribs broke but the girl did not move or make a sound and Amber noticed blood and spit slowly trickled from her mouth. After a few more kicks the woman stopped and picked up the phone and dialed a number. She did not have to wait long before the other line was answered.

"Its me…you need to call in another prescription for me. You stupid daughter dropped all the pills in the bathroom sink." She paused while the man said something. "Just do it and please come home now. I need a pill bad. Oh…you may also have to take your daughter to the emergency room as well. Your whore was supposed to be watching her and I think she has the flu and passed out and fell down and hit her head in a table. I think she is unconscious and hell she may be dead." The woman hung up the phone and uncuffed Amber and pulled her hair back hard. "Listen, cunt…she fell…do you understand me? She fell down and I was not in the room! It's your fault! Understand?" Amber nodded and when the woman left the room she pulled her panties out of her mouth, untied her legs, and fell to the floor next to Natalie. Amber gently lifted the girl's head and cradled it in her arms as tears poured from her eyes.

"Please, Little Peep…oh…please don't die! Please…oh God…please let her be ok!" Amber looked up to the ceiling, "Oh God…I know I said I don't believe in you anymore…but…but I do…please I am begging you…don't take her too…don't take her from me! I love her so much! Please God let her live! I am begging you…please let her be ok!" Amber screamed and then kissed Natalie's forehead, "Please, baby, please wake up…I…I didn't tell her, baby, I didn't tell her it was you…I promise! Please be ok!" Amber cradled Natalie's head in her arms and rocked back in forth and begged for the girl to be alright and not die as tears poured out of her eyes.


	20. Chapter 20

Amber rocked back and forth cradling Natalie's head in her arms begging for the girl not to be dead when she heard a small, soft, weak voice call her name.

"Amber, it…it hurts…I…it hurts." Amber looked down at the girl and when Natalie coughed blood came to her mouth and the girl seemed to struggle to breathe. Amber thought with fear she may have a punctured lung from a broken rib.

"Shh…don't talk, baby…shh…I…I am going to call for help." Amber said and laid Natalie's head down gently and wiped her eyes. She was about to stand when the girl grabbed her.

"No…mommy will get mad…just…just take me to bed…please, Amber…I am so sleepy."

"No…you need to go to the hospital…and don't sleep. You may have a concussion…stay awake…please make yourself stay awake, baby." Amber sobbed and crawled on the floor to the phone and dialed nine one one. Amber told the dispatcher her sister passed out and hit her head and side on a table and may have a concussion, broken ribs, and a punctured lung. They dispatched an ambulance. Amber crawled back to Natalie and placed the girl's head in her lap and told her the story of how she met the Lovely Ran to keep her awake. When the ambulance arrived the woman was surprised and angry at Amber for calling them but she could not show her displeasure in front of the EMT's. The paramedics gently put Natalie on a gurney and as they rolled her to the ambulance her mother was about to climb in when she noticed Amber behind her.

"Where the fuck are you going?" She asked.

Amber looked at her, "Please…I want to go with her…please."

"No…you have to be home to explain how you called the fucking ambulance to my husband!"

Amber nodded and stepped back in fear of the look the woman gave her. She knew she was in for very painful punishment from the woman and maybe even the man but she did not care. She had to make sure Natalie was safe. She watched the ambulance pull away and waited for the man to come home. She was sitting at the kitchen table waiting when he arrived and a tearful Amber explained what happened. She told him the truth and then told him she lied to the paramedics and told them Natalie passed out from the flu and fell. He called her a stupid whore and left to go to the hospital. Before he left he told Amber she was going to pay for her stupidly from both him and his wife. After he left, Amber sat at the table and rubbed her temples. She heard the voices telling her what to do and she did not protest. She knew what to do. She remembered once again when the man told her she had a breaking point and tonight was it. She came close to breaking when the man raped her in his perverted games or when the woman branded her breast, but seeing the woman almost kill Natalie was what finally broke Amber. She grinned when she thought the man was going to regret that they broke her. Amber broke in a way he would not have expected. The girl ran to the man and woman's room and pulled his gun from his closet and loaded it. Unknown to the man and woman, Amber had prepared herself for this moment for weeks. She had searched the internet and found the same type of gun online, a nine millimeter automatic pistol, and learned from the instructions how to load, use, and fire the pistol. She studied the diagrams and the instructions for weeks and Amber was a very intelligent girl and learned quickly. She even practiced with the gun unloaded when the man and woman were not home and Natalie was asleep. Amber took the loaded gun to the kitchen, wrapped it in a cloth dish towel and placed it in a drawer. She then prepared the small game hens for cooking with seasoning and butter and preheated the oven. She knew they would take almost an hour to cook bit she knew she had time. It was only five in the evening and Amber knew the man and woman would be at the hospital for a while. Amber started cutting up some lettuce and other vegetables for a salad and made some home made salad dressing. When she had most of the dinner ready to be cooked she went up stairs, put on clean panties, fixed her makeup, and changed her clothes. The girl looked at her prepaid phone and smiled when she saw Lilly's message and sent a reply**, I am so happy you luv me…please always know I luv you as well…please forgive me for everything I have done or will do…luv A**, and then turned the phone off. Amber grabbed a book from the living room bookshelf and saw it was a murder mystery and laughed. She took the book in the kitchen and sat at the table to read it while she waited.

Lilly was in her room watching television when she heard her phone chime and smiled at the message from Amber. She replied back, **A…lets talk tomorrow and work things out. I want you in my life and we will fix anything or any problem we have. I luv you to much to let you go! Also I have an idea on what we can do about your home…my mom said she would help us…you, me, and Natalie…luv you, baby…Lils**, Lilly

had talked to her mother and her mom said she talked to her policeman friend and he could help her get appointed as an emergency foster parent for a situation like this, but they police need both Amber and Natalie to testify and admit what was happening to them. Lilly knew she could talk Amber into it if she could promise the girl Natalie would end up with her mother and not in some other foster home. Lilly cried and hugged her mother in happiness even after Ms. Truscott tried to tell her it was just temporary, but Lilly was still happy.

Amber waited for almost two hours before the man and woman came home. She had already put the hens in the oven and had dinner waiting for the couple when they arrived. They walked into the kitchen and were surprised at what they saw.

"Well…glad to see you kept yourself busy and dinner actually smells good." The woman said. Amber could tell she was stoned and assumed the man gave her one of her pills already. Amber was glad, she was not as bad when on the drug.

"How…how is she? Is she ok?" Amber asked and the woman ignored her and the man answered as he sat down at the table.

"She'll live. She has a concussion, two broken ribs, and one of the ribs did pierce her lung but only slightly and no surgery was needed. She was also dehydrated and has the flu. The are keeping her over night and maybe the next for observation." He looked at Amber sternly, "We had to answer a bunch of fucking questions about what happened to the doctor and even the cops. They seemed to buy the story that she fell, but they may want to question you tomorrow."

Amber nodded, "Yes, sir…she fell…I saw it. I was supposed to be watching her because she was sick and I was not doing a good job and she fell and got hurt." The man chuckled.

"See, hun, the whore is not so stupid after all." He said to his wife, "Now lets eat, I'm starving." The woman sat down and Amber knew she would only nibble a little while stoned but still served her a large helping. She poured her and the man a glass of wine and then sat down herself at the table. They ate in silence and Amber allowed the man to fondle her under the table as he always did. When they were done eating Amber got up and started clearing the table and placed her hand on the man's shoulder as he was about to stand.

"No…wait. I made dessert. A special one." The man smiled and eyed Amber's butt as she walked to the kitchen counter, opened the drawer, unwrapped the pistol from the towel and turned around. She looked at the man and his eyes grew wide as Amber pulled the trigger of the gun. Amber had practiced on the unloaded gun many times but she was not prepared for firing the gun for real. The noise was almost deafening and her hands jerked up each time she pulled the trigger. She fired four shots at the man. The first one killed him instantly as it hit his chest and the bullet drove in his heart. The second shot was much higher due to the recoil Amber did not expect and took the man's left ear off. The third and fourth shot missed him completely and drove into the wall behind him. Amber then pointed the gun at the woman who was frozen in fear. She looked at Amber and then her husband and then back at Amber. She held up her hands in a defensive gesture as she stood up.

"Please, Amber…we…we can discuss this…we…we can say it was self defense and…and I am glad he is dead. We can tell the police what he did to you and…and how he raped you and beat you…and they won't arrest you. Then we can live a normal life. You and me and Natalie. We can be happy family…just the three of us. Now put the gun down, honey." The woman pleaded. Amber smiled a cruel smile.

"I don't think so, you fucking cunt!" Amber said and fired the remaining five bullets into the woman. Two of her first shots hit her in the chest and spun her body around and one hit her head and the other two missed her and went into the wall behind her. She was dead before her body hit the floor.

**A/N – short chapter but the end is almost written and I am wrapping the story up.**


	21. Chapter 21

Amber looked at the two bloody bodies on the floor and never knew a person had that much blood in them as the floor became overcome with two large red puddles. She felt sick at the sight and swallowed some bile that came to her mouth. Amber dropped the gun and jerked at the sound of the metal striking the tile floor. She turned and ran to her room and took a quick shower to wash the blood that splattered on her face and arms. Amber took the bloodstained clothes and threw them in the closet and brought out her small suitcase, her journals, and her box of pictures. She knew the police would find the clothes and get her finger prints off the gun and would know it was her, but by the time they did it would be too late. Amber got dressed in a simple black and white peasant dress, put on her heels, packed a few clothes, her makeup bag, and the box in the suitcase. She calmly walked back into the kitchen and looked again at the man and woman. She was not sick this time and she smiled at them. She placed her journals on the kitchen table and scribbled a note that simply read "Answers" and laid it on top of the notebooks. She then went through the man's pockets and pulled out his wallet. Amber opened the wallet and pulled out his credit cards and all the cash he had and tossed the wallet on the floor. She then grabbed the man's car keys off the hook next to the kitchen door and opened the door to leave the home forever. She stopped, turned, walked back to the bodies, and spit for the second and third time in her life. The first time was when she was eight when she and her mother were watching her brother play a baseball game while her dad coached. A young Amber idolized her older brother and she would watch him spit on the pitchers mound. After the game the family was walking to their car when Amber spit on the ground to impress her brother. Her mother scolded her telling her ladies do not spit while her brother rubbed her head with affection and laughed. Amber never spit again until that night. She found it satisfying to see her saliva run down the dead faces of the man who raped her in horrible ways repeatedly almost every night for the past months and the woman who caused her and Natalie so much physical and mental pain. Amber actually giggled like a child at sight and walked back to the door.

Amber walked from the bloody scene of the house she hated with the keys to the man's car clinched in her hand with her purse and pulling a suitcase behind her. The Goth girl drove to the closet resort hotel and asked for the best room they had available paying with the man's credit card. In the spacious suite, Amber showered again, fixed her makeup to perfection and chose her favorite crimson lipstick and styled her hair the way Ran and Samantha used to love it. She piled her thick black hair on top of her head, braided the two red streaks, and kept them down to frame her lovely face. She looked in the mirror of the bathroom and smiled and thought she looked cute. Amber then placed a large "X" on the mirror with her lipstick over her reflection and walked into the bedroom and got dressed. She put on a new strapless bra that pushed her small breasts up to make them look larger and give her more cleavage and new pair of panties and white thigh highs she purchased on the way to the hotel, using the man's credit card. Amber looked at herself in the mirror and thought she looked so damn cute and then she traced the W scar on her left breast with her small delicate fingers. She smiled as she thought the woman could never hurt her or Natalie ever again. After she admired herself again she put on a white loose fitting white sundress that was low cut, lacy, and the hem came down to her knees. When she was dressed, Amber walked to the lobby and into the spa area to get a manicure. After her manicure, the young girl walked back to her room and sat at the desk and wrote two letters on the hotel stationary. When the letters were done she read them for any mistakes, smiled, and sealed them in envelopes. Amber then looked at her watch and waited on the edge of the bed as she painted her finger nails and toe nails with crimson polish to match her lipstick. At eleven thirty that evening Amber picked up the phone and made a call to the police reporting the shooting and hung up after they began to ask her questions. Next she left her room and walked down to the lobby. She flirted charmingly, happily, and shamelessly with the desk clerk for a while before she gave him one of the letters and the box of pictures and instructed him to send them overnight delivery. She paid him in cash. She gave the doorman a charming seductive smile as he opened the door and tipped the valet a large sum of money after he brought the BMW to the front of the hotel. When questioned by the police later; the desk clerk, doorman, and valet would comment she seemed like such a charming, happy, flirtatious, and very lovely young girl. Amber drove past an apartment house and placed the remaining letter in the mail box and sighed sadly. The girl had to struggle not to run into the house and grab Lilly, kiss her, beg her forgiveness on her knees, and make love to her again…just one more time. The girl gave her so much in such a short period and Amber loved her for that. Amber then drove the car and parked it in the same spot the man would wait for her when she got off work and walked to the beach. Amber made her way through the construction barrier of the pier and walked calmly to the edge and saw the White Lady smiling at her kindly. With a smile and tears of joy in her eyes, Amber cried in her happiness because they loved her again. The voices whispered how much they loved and adored her as the young girl grabbed the White Lady's hand. Amber looked up at the tall beautiful lady, "Will you stay with me…promise me you will not let go." The Lady smiled wider and nodded.

When the police investigated the shooting they found two witnesses at the beach, a young man and his girlfriend doing what young lovers do on the beach at night. The young man told the police he saw the beautiful young teenage girl walk onto the pier and he ran after her calling for her to stop. When she got to the edge of the pier she appeared to be reaching for someone to take her hand and he called out to her. The girl turned and with a very pleasant smile but tears in her eyes winked at him slow and seductive and then jumped into the deep ocean water. The man yelled for his girlfriend to call the police as he ran to the edge of the pier but she was gone. The ocean already took her to its depths. Amber St. Claire was only seventeen years old when the White Lady took her to join the people she loved so dearly.

After a long search, Amber's body washed up on a beach ten miles from the pier two days later and the police closed the case of the shooting deaths of the man and his wife. They had enough evidence to know what happened. The head investigator of the Malibu Homicide Department told his wife the evening he closed the case how cruel the world really was and her told her about what her read in those journals of the girl who shot her uncle and aunt. The detective wept as her looked at his sleeping three year old daughter and thought of the lovely teenage girl and what she endured before she could take no more. His wife hugging him from behind telling him they will be wonderful parents, they would protect their little girl, and their child would never have to go through what that beautiful dark haired young girl had to live with.

Miley was in her room pouting and being depressed as she had been for the last week. Lilly still had not talked to her and she could not blame her friend. What she did was terrible and a large betrayal. Lilly loved Amber a great deal and Miley had sex with the girl her best friend loved. Miley did not know why she did, true Amber was very attractive and sexy, but she should have controlled herself. But she did not and she could not. When Amber started kissing her and touching her; the Goth girl turned into a succubus Miley could not resist. She tried…she tried to fight it, but she could not. Miley had to smile even in her sadness at the sex she had with Amber; it was wonderful and she climaxed over and over in such a short time. Then Amber started playing her and Lilly against each other; leading them both on. Miley did not love Amber like Lilly did, but she sure as hell desired her and wanted to make love to her again and again. Miley hated herself for betraying her best friend, a girl she loved more than anyone, and she hated that she wanted Amber sexually again. She would never forget the pain in Lilly's face when she confronted her at the beach party and the hurt she caused her best friend. Seeing that pain made Miley's desire for the Goth girl vanish and now all she wanted back was her friend and the love they shared.

"Miley! Miley! Get your ass down here! You have to see this!" She heard Jackson yell from downstairs.

"Leave me alone!" Miley shouted back.

"No! You have to see the news….hurry up!" Miley got out of bed and walked downstairs.

"I swear, Jackson, if it is another story of how Hannah Montana cancelled her latest concert…or…or if they talk about how she may be on drugs after she fucked up at the last show…or…Fuck! I don't give a fuck! I don't care about Hannah anymore! I could care less if she ever does another concert or if she dies! I just want Lilly to love me again!" Miley yelled as she looked at the TV over the couch standing behind Jackson.

"Just watch…its coming up next on the news…there! Watch!" Jackson shouted.

Miley watched the pretty blonde newswoman talk about a murder in Malibu of a once highly thought of plastic surgeon and his wife the previous night. The scene flashed to a detective who was giving a press conference. He stated both the man and woman were shot to death and a suspect had been identified and they are searching for her now. The suspect is the niece of the couple who came to live with them after her brother/guardian was killed in Afghanistan. They could not release the suspects name due to her being a minor but it is suspected she killed herself by jumping off the Malibu Beach Pier since witness to her jump have identified what appears as the same girl. Her body had not been found as of yet. The reporters asked questions and about a motive and the detective just told them it was an on going investigation but horrible abuse of the girl and the couple's own daughter, who is in the hospital still recovering from injuries in a supposedly fall, is suspected. The detective told the press no more questions and walked from the camera.

"Shit…fuck…that was Amber! My God…I never knew…Miley…its terrible? Did you know?" Jackson turned his head but Miley was gone. He heard her car start and tires screech as she drove away.

Miley knocked on the door to Lilly's house. She knew Lilly needed her regardless if her best friend knew it herself or wanted her. Miley was going to be there for the girl if it killed her…or Lilly killed her. The two girls had not spoken since that night at the beach party, not counting the when Lilly told her to fuck off after Miley got in that fight with Amber. Miley took a deep breath and knocked on the door. The door opened and Miley smiled at Lilly's pretty mom. She looked as if she had been crying.

"Umm…Ms. Truscott…is Lilly home?"

"Oh, Miley…I am glad you are here! She…she is in her room with Oliver and she is…she is so heartbroken and crying. Why would that crazy girl do this? I don't understand." Lilly's mom cried out as she hugged Miley. After she hugged the girl, Ms. Truscott led Miley to her daughter's room and knocked on the door. Miley felt jealousy when she heard Oliver was there. She wanted Lilly to want her and not Oliver. She forced it down and knew this was not the time for that.

"Go away, mom! I…I do…leave me alone!" Miley heard Lilly scream and could tell by her voice she was crying. Miley touched the door knob and discovered it was unlocked and opened the door. She looked at her friend who was on her bed lying on her stomach and her head was buried in her pillow. Miley saw Lilly's body shake as she cried and heard the girl's sobs. Her heart broke even more. Oliver was sitting on the floor by the bed trying to comfort his friend and he turned to Miley and smiled. The boy then tapped Lilly on the shoulder and she turned her head to the door. Miley saw her eyes were puffy and red from crying and in her left hand she held a piece of paper.

"Mom, I fucking told you…Miley! Oh Miley! I…Miley!" Lilly screamed and jumped off the bed and jumped into her friends arms. "Miley…she…Amber…she…ohhhh, Miley, I love her so much…why…why did she do this! I…I was going to tell her today I forgive her and…and love her and be with her again and…we were going to be together again…" Lilly placed her head on Miley's chest and sobbed.

"I'm sorry, baby, I am so sorry." Miley said as she stroked the blonde's hair and she felt tears of her own fall down her cheeks.

Oliver left the room to leave the two girls alone and followed Lilly's mom to the kitchen where they both sat down at the small breakfast table. Ms. Truscott took Oliver's hands in hers.

Lilly cried in Miley's arms for a long time as the two girls sat on the bed. Lilly clutched a white piece of paper the entire time. Finally the blonde pushed her friend away and wiped her eyes. Miley smiled gently at her.

"M…maybe it was not her? They have not found the body yet…and…maybe it was just someone else. Maybe…maybe Amber is on the run and hiding." Miley told Lilly hoping it was true. Miley did not like Amber since she still blamed the girl for everything, but she did not want her dead and seeing how bad Lilly was hurting she hoped for her friend's sake Amber was not the girl who jumped off the pier. Lilly shook her head and wiped her eyes.

"No…it…it was her Miley…she…here…I did not let Oliver read it and I am only letting you read it because it mentions you." Miley took the letter and noticed it was written on stationary from a very expensive resort hotel she had stayed at when she had to be Hannah while a reporter followed her around for a week doing a story on her. Miley recognized the perfect small print of Amber's writing.

My dear sweet Lilly,

I struggled with the thought of writing this to you, hoping you would just forget me when I was gone. Then I decided I owed you. I owed you an apology and maybe an explanation. I do not ask for forgiveness even through I think you will forgive me eventually, you can't help it since it is just part of your sweet kind nature I loved so much in you.

My dear Lilly, I cannot fight it anymore. I cannot handle it anymore. The voices are just too much now. I hear them all the time now. They are the voices of the ones I love begging me to join them. My wonderful parents and my kind over protective brother, my sweet and lovely protector and greatest friend Ran, and then my darling beautiful Samantha…all of them call to me to join them and I must go to them so they will love me again. Then there is the White Lady. I see her more everyday. When she first came to me it was in my dreams and then I saw her in my crazy awake world; a world I can no longer understand. At first she seemed happy to just see me and observe me and smile at me. Then she changed. She changed when I fell in love with you. She became angry at that love and then I realized she was not there to watch over me but she was there for my soul. She was always there for my soul. That is what she wants now and I must give it to her. She waits for me, sweet Lilly, she waits for me on that pier you love so much and I must go to her. She promised me she would be there and hold my hand as I jump and not let go as I fall into the cold water. She promised me I would be with the ones I love so dearly. I cannot live in this world anymore, my dear Lilly; I cannot function in it anymore. The real world seems like a dream to me more and more and my dream world is the only thing that is real to me.

Sweet beautiful Lilly, I do love you in my crazy screwed up way and I am sorry for what I did to you and to Miley. I know I hurt both of you and I am sorry for that. I did it because I listened to the voices in my head. When Miley first came back to you I saw the way you and her looked at one another and I saw love. Oh my wonderful Lilly, I saw the love you and she had and I knew I was going to lose you to her and then I listened to the words of my wonderful Samantha. I heard her telling me I was going to lose you like I lost her. She told me I was going to lose you to someone who knew you better, someone who loved you more, and someone you loved more than me. Just like I lost her to someone and she told me I must stop it if I wanted to keep you. I did want to keep you since you gave me happiness when the voices allowed me to be happy and I did the only thing I knew how to do and listened to the voices. I realized too late they lied to me, love. They deceived me out of jealousy of you and my love for you.

I never was much of a fighter, sweet Lilly. I never learned how to fight for things I wanted. Most things I got just came to me. I never had to earn my parents love or the love of my brother, they just loved me. I never had to earn the love of my best friend Ran. She loved me unconditionally and I never had to earn it. From the first day we met, she loved me with all her heart and I did nothing to earn that love. I never had to earn the love of my beautiful Samantha, she just did. I was so spoiled that way. My problem was keeping that love. I lost it all with either death or them leaving me. I did not want to lose the love you had for me I never had to earn. Maybe that was a curse. Maybe if I ever had to earn love from someone I could have kept it. I knew Miley wanted me and desired me. I do not say that out of arrogance, it is just the way it was. I know I am not the most beautiful girl in the world. I have always been surrounded by girls more beautiful than me. My mother, Ran, Samantha, Miley, the hated Carly, and of course you; so it was not beauty that made people desire me and want me. I do not know what it was…another curse maybe…but I know when someone wanted me sexually and she did. And when I wanted someone sexually I got them. Again I did not have to earn it; it just happened. But also once again I never could keep them after I got them…part of the curse. I knew Miley would want me regardless if her heart fought it, her body wanted me. She did try to stop it, Lilly…please know that…she tried to fight it and I lied to you, sweet Lilly. She did not come on to me, but I came on to her first because I listened to the voices and believed their lies. Please don't blame her. I listened to the voice of my dear wonderful Samantha telling me I was going to lose you if I did not fight for you and I used the only weapon I had. My mother came to me later and told me she was so ashamed of me and taught me better and called me a whore and I cried at those words, sweet Lilly, I cried to hear her tell me that. She was never ashamed of me until that moment and it broke my heart. I do care for Miley, tell her I do…I grew to care for her. She is a sweet kind girl. Tell her I am sorry as well. I never wanted to hurt her or you. I never wanted to come between the two of you like I did. I just wanted to keep you so bad for my own and the thought of losing you hurt so much I listened to the voices.

Go to her, dear Lilly, go to Miley. She loves you more than I ever could and I know you love her more than you love me…you will see that when you are ready. You and she have a beautiful friendship. A friendship so wonderful and one that only comes once in a lifetime and is very rare in this cruel world. I know. I had one like that and it broke my heart when I lost her. Do not lose Miley. I beg you, sweet Lilly! Go to her and talk to her and allow yourself to forgive her and allow her to forgive you. You are lucky, Lilly, so lucky. You and Miley not only have a wonderful friendship but she loves you romantically as well as you love her romantically. I see it in both your eyes when you look at each other. I never had that love with Ran. As much as I loved Ran and as much as she loved me I was never blessed with that type of love for her; regardless of how many times I tried. That love and closeness of being a friend and then loving each other in a way beyond friendship is a sweet wonderful love. Take that love, dear Lilly, take her love and make her take yours. Do not let a mentally screwed up crazy person who no longer understands her life or the world she lives in stop you and her from having that love. Both of you deserve it! You will know when the time is right to give her that love and please, I beg you, give it to her and don't hold back that sweet sexy passion you have in you!

I do love you, my beautiful Lilly, but I do not love you enough. I tried but I could not. I could not love you as I loved my Ran or my sweet beautiful Samantha. I am not built that way and I am sorry. I do love you in my crazy way but not as I loved them. For that I am sorry. You were so kind and caring and loved me even during my crazy moods and when I heard the voices and when I saw the White Lady. You deserve better than me. I wish you knew the real me, love, I wish you could have known the Amber before the voices and the White Lady. I was a normal person once, dear Lilly. I used to be so happy and charming and sweet and honest and loving and I used to love life. I used to enjoy being around people I cared about, meeting knew people, being a social butterfly, and I used to love to dance. God, Lilly, I wish you could have seen me dance. Ran and Samantha used to tease me; telling me that they never saw a girl who was such a klutz at doing a simple everyday thing like walking who could be so lovely, flawless, and graceful while she danced. I miss dancing, love, and I wish I could have danced with you under the full moon on that pier you love so well. I wish you could have known me before the craziness started.

But maybe that was a good thing, because I don't think the real me would have loved you as the crazy me does. I do not say that to be cruel or to cause you hurt, but the real me was hopelessly and completely in love with my dear sweet Samantha even after she left me the first time and still after she left me the second time with her terrible death. But maybe I would have loved you…who could not? Maybe you could have healed the love that I could never have like you tried to heal the craziness in me. You were so kind and good to me and tried to understand what was going on in my crazy mind that even I could not understand…you tried to understand and I love you for that, dear Lilly. Not many people would have been there for me in what you used to call my dark periods. And they were dark, sweet Lilly; they were so dark and scary toward the end when I heard the voices being crueler. I do love you, Lilly; never doubt I do not love you! Yes, I take back what I wrote…the real me would have loved you as much as the crazy me does!

I used to welcome the voices at first…I used to beg for them to come and talk to me. The voices of the ones I loved so deeply were a comfort to me, but lately they have become cruel and even hateful at times because I promised I would join them and I was breaking that promise…but I had to make sure Natalie was safe before I could join them and I wanted to stay with you, love, and that made them angry with me. They were jealous of you and our love, especially Samantha. Well Natalie is safe now and I will keep the promise to the voices and follow the White Lady they sent to show me the way to them even if it means leaving you…they are just so much stronger than the love I have for you and I have to go and calm them now, my beautiful Lilly…I am sorry but I have to.

I am not sorry for what I did to that man and woman. I will pay for that after the White Lady takes me and I will accept that payment. But I had to do it. I could not let them hurt that sweet precious child anymore. I hope she forgives me but I do not ask her forgiveness since I have given her a better life and a chance. She will know the love of good people and she will be happy. I know she loved her mother even after all the woman did to her; it is just nature for a child to love her mother regardless how terrible that mother is and she may not forgive me but I know she will be happy and safe now. How could she not? I know first hand the love of Ram's parents and how they will cherish her. Please do not think unkindly of me for what I did to that man and woman. Please try to understand why I did it. I did not do it for me. I accepted the abuse and the rape and would have lived with it forever, but I had to protect that sweet innocent child who deserves her childhood to be happy and full of fairy tales. You were so right when you told me the day we celebrated her birthday…she does deserve to be a child and she deserves a happy childhood. I gave that to her when I killed the man and woman. I killed them not for me, but for her. Maybe she will forgive me, but I love my Little Peep so much to risk her love to give her a happy life. Watch over her, my love, she adores you so much. Allow her to forget me but never allow her to forget you, the girl who showed her to enjoy life and taught her to surf. Take care of her even if it is just for a little while but never let her forget you.

I must go now, my sweet Lilly. The White Lady awaits me on that pier you love so much. Please do not shy away from the pier. Please do not look at it and think of me. Think of the pier as you always did. I know you loved it. Try not to think of me at all if you can. Do not think of the crazy girl who screwed up you life. Do not think of the screwed up girl who no longer understood her world. Go to Miley, sweet Lilly, love her and allow her to love you. Kiss her and worship her body and allow her to worship yours! Love her, sweet Lilly; love her as I know you can! You will know when the time is right!

I am so sorry I hurt you…I truly am. I told when we first met my story was not going to end happy and I am sorry you got written in it. Forget me, my sweet Lilly, forget you ever met me.

I do love you, my dear Lilly

Amber

Miley read the letter twice and Lilly looked at her as tears ran down her friend's face. As Miley read the letter, Lilly tried to see in her the love she could have that Amber told her about, but all she saw was her friend who betrayed her. Lilly would forgive Miley of that because she loved Miley as a friend, but she could not see any other love for the girl that Amber saw. Lilly just felt her heart broken for Amber and her loss. Miley handed the letter back to Lilly and hugged her friend again.

"She…she did love you, Lilly…never think she did not…her last thoughts were of you. She…she just…she was just…"

Lilly jumped off the bed and pushed Miley back and stood in front of her friend. "What was she, Miley? Tell me…you want to say it…tell me…she was fucking nuts! Is that what you wanted to say! Well fuck you, Miley Stewart! Fuck you! She was not crazy…she suffered so much…if you only knew what she suffered you would…you would…you never would have fucked her! You would have tried to understand her like I tried…damn you, Miley…damn you!" Lilly screamed and Miley put her arms around her friend and Lilly tried to push her way but the taller girl held on tight and would not let her escape. Lilly struggled briefly and then hugged Miley tight and placed her head on her friend's chest and cried.

"I loved her; Miley…I loved her so much." Lilly said sobbing into Miley. Miley stroked her hair.

"I know, baby, I know. And I don't think she was crazy. She was just very confused and hurting very bad on the inside and you could not help her. You tried, Lilly, you tried so hard but it was beyond you. And she did love you; Lilly…she used to tell me she loved you. Never doubt that."

Lilly looked up at the other girl. "I…I know she did…I…I forgive you Miley…because she asked me to and because you are my best friend. I forgive you but I am still mad at you for what you did. I can't forget that. And…I don't care what she said…I cannot love you as anything but a friend because of what you did. I forgive you, but I can never trust you again."

Miley smiled sadly and kissed Lilly's forehead, "I understand, Lilly. I…do you want me to go?"

Lilly hugged her tighter, "No, you big dumb country redneck, I want you to lay in bed with me and hold me while I cry my fucking eyes out for a while and then drive me to the hospital to see Natalie. She…she is going to need me now." Lilly pried herself away from Miley and looked up at the other girl and started crying again, "I…I need you, Miley, I am still angry at you but…but I need my best friend back right now. Hold me, Miley…please hold me."

"Anything for you, Lilly." Miley and Lilly lay in the bed and Lilly wrapped herself around Miley and cried.

Ms Truscott sat at the table holding Oliver's hand, "Why, Oliver, why would this girl do this? Why would my Lilly ever get involved with a girl like this? I am trying to understand how she could. How could this psychopathic girl do this and hurt my baby so much."

Oliver stood up and grabbed a role of paper towels and placed them next to Lilly's mother and sat back down. She gave him a questioning look. Oliver shrugged his shoulders and told Ms. Truscott what he knew of the girl. Ms. Truscott heard a little of the things from her daughter, but Lilly never told her of the rape she endured from her uncle and how bad the physical abuse Amber and Natalie suffered at the hands of the woman. She was glad Oliver gave her the paper towels as she cried at what the girls suffered and the heartbreak her daughter was going through.

Seattle Washington.

Hei Isuel was sitting at her breakfast table drinking her tea and reading the newspaper. She was a very attractive lady who was kind and caring and ran a strict household. But she was also an unhappy woman. Almost over a year ago she lost her only child to leukemia. Her lovely daughter, Hu-Ran, was only sixteen years old when the disease clamed her life shortly after she was diagnosed. Then the girl she loved as a daughter and Ran's best friend decided to live with an aunt and uncle she never met several months ago, her and her husband thought of and loved Amber St. Claire as their own daughter since the girl was five and that love grew only deeper after the poor girl's parents died when she was thirteen and she came to live with them since her brother and legal guardian was in the Marine Corp and fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan. Then when her brother died, her and her husband wanted to adopt the seventeen year old girl and looked as if they would until Amber suddenly decided to live with they uncle and aunt she never met. She left their home after some cruel words the Isuel's never blamed her for or believed she never meant and the girl moved away. Hei wrote her at least once almost every week but never got a reply. It was as if the girl dropped off the face of the earth to her. She felt as if another daughter of hers had died, but she still continued to write with hope.

Hei's morning reading was interrupted by her doorbell chiming and she made her way to the front door. She smiled kindly at the overnight delivery boy and signed for the package. She smiled happily when she saw the sender's name and almost ran back into the kitchen to open the envelope and package.

"Oh, Amber…it's about time." She muttered with a grin and opened the envelope first. As she read the letter her grin vanished from her face.

My dearest Hei and Byung,

I don't know were to even start. I don't even know what to say to the two people who loved me as a daughter and I loved as my own parents. Two wonderful people I miss so dearly and whose daughter I loved more than I could my own sister. I guess should start to say I am sorry….I am so very sorry. I am sorry for the pain I caused both of you. I said things I did not mean and I beg you to forgive me. I did not mean those terrible things I said. I did not mean it when I told you I was not your daughter and I did not love you. I did not mean it when I told you to leave me alone and the only reason you wanted me was to replace the daughter you lost. I can never replace Ran and I knew you wanted to adopt me because you loved me! I did not mean it when I said I hated the two of you and I never loved you. I do love you and will always love you! It broke my heart to say those things and I beg you for your forgiveness. I love the both of you so much! I made a terrible mistake in leaving the two of you, but thought it was the best. I…I will try and explain why….

Hei read the rest of the letter and tears came to her eyes as Amber wrote about the reason why she left, the physical abuse, the mental abuse, and the sexual abuse she suffered at the hands of her aunt and uncle. Amber did not go into details, but Hei got the picture. The Korean woman did not think her heart could break anymore, but reading the letter she knew she had been wrong. She had to put the letter down several times to sob and wipe her eyes before finishing it. There were only a few paragraphs left. One described the girl Natalie and how Amber fell in love with her and how sweet the girl was…

…and she is only eight years old and so smart and sweet and so beautiful like a living angel. Hei, she never knew what true love of parents can be like and I would like for you and Byung to change that. She is going to need parents now after what I have done. Please…meet her! I beg you to meet her and get to know her. She already knows the two of you from my stories and she knows about Ran. She worships Ran from listening to my stories and I know she will love you. Please…please…I beg you to meet her and try to adopt her. I don't know all the legal stuff involved but please do try. I know first hand the love the two of you can give. You gave it to me and I know she could not have better parents than the two of you. Please meet her and take her and care for her and love her the way I know you can...the way you loved me. She will be safe with you. Just do not let her forget Ran. She loves the story of how Ran and I met...tell it as I did. Please tell it to her so she will not forget the wonderful daughter the two of you had. The daughter I loved so much…." Hei chuckled through her tears as she read the story Amber told the girl of her meeting with Ran. She could not help but chuckle at the liberties Amber told in the story. It did not surprise her how Amber thought of her daughter. The two girls had a special bond and love and Hei knew Amber looked up to Ran in a lot of ways just as Ran looked up to Amber in certain ways. She read the last few paragraphs

I thought of how to tell you this and the best way is just to tell you. I killed Natalie's parents…my own uncle and aunt…tonight. I shot both of them several times and I know they are dead. I have no regrets and I had to…please know that! Please do not love me less for doing what I had to do it. I do not ask for forgiveness in killing them. I even enjoyed it after it was done. That may be wrong but they deserved it for what they have done. I did it for Natalie and not myself. I would have taken the abuse they gave me for as long as possible…at times I think I deserved the abuse for the things I did and the loses and pain I have caused others. But I could not allow that to happen to that poor girl. I know Natalie will never forgive me, how could she since as terrible as those two people were they were her parents. Just make sure she knows I do love her and I loved her to the end. And make sure she forgets me! She does not need to remember me or the person I have become. She deserves better than me!

The end…yes it is the end for me. Hei and Byung, the voices just are too much now. The voices I started to hear months ago. The voices of my mom and dad, of my brother, of my love Samantha, and of you sweet wonderful daughter Ran; they call to me and sent the White Lady to come and get me. I go to her soon so she may guide me to them. I have to, please understand. I have to go to them. I cannot resist it anymore and they are all so mean and cruel to me and promised they would love me again if I join them. Please forgive me for that, but also understand why I have to. I need them to love me again! I will be with then again and I will be able to have Ran hold me in her loving and protective embrace as we sleep as she did so many times when she was alive. Pray for me…pray to the God I stopped believing in a long time ago. And forgive me.

In the box are all the pictures I have kept over the years. Give them to Natalie. She loves them. Show them to her and tell their stories to her. Do not show her the ones of me…make her forget me!

I love you so much and never meant to hurt you. Thank you…thank you for being my mother and father if just for a little while.

Love with all my heart,

Amber

Hei Isuel let out a terrible scream of anguish after she read the last few paragraphs and crossed herself and said a prayer for Amber. She crumpled the letter in her hand as tears ran down her face. The Korean woman stood and almost fainted and had to sit back down to get her balance again. Hei stood once more on shaky legs and grabbed the phone off the wall. With trembling hands she dialed her husband's cell phone. She hung up when it went to voice mail and dialed his office number. It was picked up by his assistant. She took a deep breath to steady her voice.

"Melissa, this is Hei…I need to speak to Byung immediately."

"Yes, m'am…umm…he is in a meeting with a marketing company for the new commercials. Can I have him call you back?"

Hei was a very devote Catholic and very rarely cursed, but she let out a string of Korean curses to the young lady she always liked and then switched to English.

"Melissa, if you do not go into that damn room and get my husband on the phone right now…I swear it you will not be employed this afternoon. No go!"

"Y…yes, m'am." Melissa said in a scared voice and ran to the conference room. She knew her boss hated to be disturbed while in his meetings, but she always feared his attractive stern wife more than him. Plus she knew it had to be an emergency and the two lost so much over the past year, so she interrupted the meeting more out of affection for the two than fear.

Hei waited for her husband staring at the unopened box of pictures. She could not open them now and did not think she ever could. Her husband got on the phone.

"Hei, is everything alright? What is wrong, dear?" The man asked. He also knew his wife would not interrupt the meeting if it was not important.

Hei took another deep breath and spoke in Korean, "You need to come home right now! Call the airport and get us a flight to Malibu…unless you cannot get the company jet ready first. Do what is ever quicker. I will arrange a rental car for us. But get home as fast as possible! I will pack your clothes."

Byung knew when her heard Malibu it had to be Amber, "Hei, is she ok? What has happened to Amber? Oh, Jesus…is she ok?"

Hei broke down and started sobbing, "She…oh…Byung…she is…Oh God help her and us…she…no…no I cannot do this over the phone! Come home now! Please, husband…please come home now." Hei hung up the phone and sat back down and placed her head in her hands and wept. When her husband came home he found her still at the table sobbing. She had not moved. She looked up and ran to his arms, buried her head in his chest, and cried harder. After a few moments she stepped back and took a deep breath…and then another one.

"I…I must go pack. Are we flying the company jet or going commercial?"

"T…the company jet…it is already fueled and ready to go. Tell me, Hei…tell me what has happened to Amber."

Hei took the crumpled letter she still held and smoothed it out on the table calmly and handed it him. She left the kitchen before he could finish reading it. By the time she got to their bedroom and laid two suitcases on the bed, she heard an awful cry of pain and knew her husband was finished reading the letter. Her husband soon came into the bedroom with tears running down his check. She went to him and hugged him and comforted him as she led him to the bed to sit down. After a while he looked up at her.

"I…I can stand to lose another one, Hei…I can't take losing both Ran and Amber…I can't live like this. Do…do you think she is gone or…or maybe she is in a hospital. We…we have got to find out! We have to…" He stopped as his wife touched his cheeks with her small delicate hands and looked into his eyes. She also had been crying.

"Listen to me, husband who I love so dearly, we have to go. I…we will check the hospitals and with the police…but…but I think she is gone. I…I think she is no longer with us. But we go for two reasons, now. We go to bring her back to be buried next to her sweet parents and brother. We bring her back to her family. And we go to do as she asked us. The last favor she asks of us. We go to meet this girl Natalie and if possible we bring her home. Amber trusted us enough for that and we will not let her down."

She kissed her husband on both cheeks and stood to finish packing. Byung pulled his cell phone from his pocket and called his assistant Melissa and instructed her to call the police in Malibu and all the area hospitals.

**Four months later.**

Lilly Truscott stood on the Malibu Pier holding Miley Stewart's hand. In her other hand, Lilly held a letter written on hotel stationary. Miley held a single red rose in her free hand. Lilly gripped Miley's hand harder and tears started to run down her cheek. Lilly had loved the ocean and this pier as long as she could remember, but this was the first time in over four months she looked at it or walked it. It had been four months since she even set foot on the sand of the beach. The beach she loved to lay on and the ocean she loves to surf. The construction on the pier was complete and one could see not only the two girls but other people walking the pier and looking at the ocean. Miley looked at her beautiful friend she loved dearly. There friendship had been tested in the worse way and had survived. Miley still knew Lilly did not trust her as she used to, but also knew that would come back in time. Miley would wait for her as long as it took because Miley loved Lilly more than she ever loved anyone.

"Are you sure, Lilly?" Miley asked

Lilly looked up at her and smiled through her tears, "Yeah, Miles, it's time. I…I need to let her go now." Miley smiled and nodded.

Lilly let go of the paper and the wind took it and it flew into the ocean as it danced on the wind current. Lilly's eyes followed the paper until it hit the water and did not turn her head until the waves made it disappear. She looked again at Miley and nodded. Miley brought the rose to her lips and kissed it and then placed it on Lilly's to allow her to kiss the red petals. She then tossed the single red rose into the water and put her arm around her friend. Lilly smiled.

"Can we just stay here for a while, Miley…just hug me and stay with me for a while and not talk."

"Sure thing, baby, I am here for you as long as you need."

After close to an hour Lilly wiped the tears from her eyes and smiled. She looked up at Miley who had held her the entire time. "My mom dated a police officer a while back and she asked him to look into some thing about Amber, did you know that, Miley?" Miley shook her head, startled at the sudden words. "You know my mom…she can get obsessive about things. Anyway, this police officer said that after…after she died…they investigated some things and her journals and had some doctors…psychologist…examine everything and they concluded she was sycophantic. That was why she heard voices and saw hallucinations. They said with all the loss and abuse she suffered it just triggered something in her mind." Lilly paused and again wiped the tears from her eyes. "My mom said regardless of what I tried to do I could never have helped her. She needed professional help. I…I loved her, Miley." Lilly wrapped her arms around her friend and looked into her eyes. "I need you to know that. You have to know I _did_ love her and still do in a way..."

"I know, Lills…I know you did."

"I…you have to know that and not be jealous of her, Miley. Promise me…whatever happens and how many times I cry until I am fully healed…don't be jealous of her."

Miley looked confused but nodded, "Ok…I have no idea what you are talking about, but I won't be…I promise." In truth Miley was jealous every time Lilly cried on her shoulder and mourned the girl, but Miley never complained. She would wait as long as Lilly needed.

Lilly reached up and pushed Miley's hair back from her face that the wind blew. "Miles, my mom is out of town for the next several days."

"Umm…Ok…do you want to spend the night with me?"

"No, I want you to spend the next few days at my house."

Lilly moved Miley's arms from her shoulder and wrapped one around her waist and the other so the brown haired girl's hand rested on her butt. Lilly then leaned up and kissed a stunned Miley on the lips. It did not take Miley long to open her mouth and allow Lilly's tongue to enter her parted lips. The two girls kissed for a long time and Lilly pulled back and smiled up at the other girl.

"Wow…umm…ok…what was that for…not that I did not enjoy it…hell…I loved it...but why?" Miley asked.

Lilly smiled and her fingers played with a necklace that hung down on Miley's chest. "You would have waited forever, wouldn't you have, Miley." Miley nodded, she knew what Lilly meant.

"That is why I love you…because you would have waited for me forever. Amber was right. I would know when the time was right and the time is right. Take me home Miley Stewart and make love to me and comfort me." Lilly kissed the girl again and Miley held her tight and kissed her back. Soon the two girls were smiling and walking hand in hand and off the pier and up the beach to Miley's car.

"Have you heard from Natalie?" Miley asked as the girls walked hand in hand.

"Yeah…I called her his morning to…well…I just wanted to hear from her before we came out here. She is a part of this…a huge part of Amber and me…and even you Miley."

Miley nodded, "Lilly, why did your mom give up custody of her? She was appointed her guardian and I thought she was going to try and adopt her?"

Lilly smiled at the girl she loved as they walked, "Well…I asked her to and not to adopt her."

Miley stopped and pulled Lilly to a halt also. She looked at her friend in shock, "What…I thought you wanted her as your sister and…wow…I thought you wanted your mom to adopt her?"

"Yeah…I did at first…I love Natalie and she is like my sister but she needed more. I met the Isuels…the people Amber lived with after her parents died and the couple she wanted Natalie to live with…and they are wonderful people. They came to visit Natalie almost everyday and Natalie grew fond of them. Then I thought how I would be going to college next year and away from home and of course I am going with you on your European Tour for a couple of months and…well…I won't be home with her. Plus mom already raised one child and she deserves some time for herself. Natalie would have a better childhood with both a mom and dad and then there is…well…Amber. Natalie adored her and worshipped her and living with the Isuels she would get a chance to know the real Amber. The Amber I did not get to know. It would be better for her." Lilly paused and looked at the ocean again, "Plus…Natalie wanted to go. She was afraid to tell me, but I saw it and the way she attached herself to the Isuels and looked forward to their visits, I knew she wanted to go. I promised her I would stay in touch with her…and I will. I will visit her and she will visit me and when she graduates high school I will be on the front row clamping my cute ass off."

Miley brought Lilly's hand to her lips and kissed it. "I love you Lilly Truscott. You are a wonderful person."

Lilly shrugged and the two girls started walking again to Miley's car.

Miley drove in silence as Lilly held her hand. She was afraid to talk or even look at the other girl in case Lilly changed her mind. She loved Lilly for years and did not want to lose her again. Lilly held her hand and ran her fingers gently over the top of them and Miley shivered at the touch. She smiled when Lilly brought her hand to her lips and kissed it, running her tongue across it.

"Ouch! Shit, Lilly, what was that for!" Miley shouted as Lilly bit her hand. She looked at Lilly and saw the blonde was leaning against the passenger door seductively and with a mischievous smile across her lips.

"Well…I still owe you for fucking my girl friend and that was a start."

Miley looked sad, "Lilly…I…I will never forgive myself for that. I am…Ouch! What the hell, Lilly…that hurt!" Lilly bit her hand again. Miley was getting angry. Since they renewed their friendship, Lilly never brought up what Miley and Amber did but Miley knew it still hurt her friend and that made her sad.

"Shut up, Miley!" Lilly teased, "I have decided how I am going to get even. You and I are going to date and make love as much as possible because I do love you. But I during our relationship I am going to fuck someone else to get even and I have someone in mind already."

Miley pulled the car over with screeching brakes and came to a fast stop. She turned to Lilly, who was still smiling, "If you think I am going to let you…argh! Lilly…I…who…who are you going to fuck so I can fucking kick her ass! Tell me!" Miley screamed and Lilly moved herself closer and put her arms around Miley and caressed her cheek.

"Why, Miley…getting mad? Are you jealous?" Lilly teased and smiled at Miley. "Well…I do have a girl in mind. I always wanted to fuck…well…I always wanted Hannah Montana."

Miley smiled and relaxed at the game, "Is that right…well…you know Hannah is a virgin…but maybe…just maybe I can talk to her and see if she will at least go on a date with you."

Lilly giggled and shook her head, "Nope…I am going to fuck her one day…I am going to fuck her until she begs she cannot handle it anymore."

Miley smiled, "Well…I also thought Lolo was sexy as well…maybe I could do her?"

Lilly laughed, "Oh…maybe…but Lolo is a whore. She gets laid all the time. She goes to bars and picks up scores of men or women and goes home with them." Lilly teased and saw Miley get angry again.

"What! Who has she been with? I want to know right now!"

Lilly laughed harder, "Damn, Miles, you jealousy is going to cause you to have a stroke…I was just teasing. She is still a virgin too, but she wants to be a whore to one person." Lilly kissed Miley's hand seductively again and the brown haired girl relaxed. Lilly then leaned over and grabbed Miley's face and kissed her. While they were kissing, Lilly moved her hand and dropped Miley's seat down and the other girl let out a squeal as she fell backwards. Lilly climbed on top of her and started kissing her neck ignoring Miley's pleas that people could see them. Lilly gently bit Miley's neck and after the girl let out a gasp of pleasure and pain, Lilly bit her harder and Miley gasped louder and begged for more. Lilly leaned her head up and grinned as she looked into Miley's brown eyes.

"Yes, I will have Hannah and maybe you can have Lolo, but right now I want it to be only Lilly Truscott and Miley Stewart…forever." Lilly rolled off Miley and put her seat belt back on and took the other girl's hand again and kissed it. "Now, take me home and fuck my brains out, let me cry in your arms, and fuck my brains out again. I never want to leave the bed. Help me heal, Miley." Miley did not say a word and lifted her seat and drove home in a hurry.

"Miley?" Lilly said as Miley drove way over the speed limit.

"Yeah, baby."

"I love you Miley…I love you very much."

Miley smiled as she drove to Lilly's house and the thought of spending several days in bed making love to the girl she loved.

Seattle Washington

It had taken a little over three months and a lot of time in court for the Isuels to become the legal guardians of Natalie. Hei stayed in Malibu the entire time while her husband flew back and forth to run his business and get the essentials his wife needed while away. Both had gotten to know Natalie very well and grew to love the small girl intensely. They met the girl who Natalie lived with and her mother and it they thought it was fortunate Amber met such a sweet and caring person in Lilly and they mourned with the girl who loved their Amber very much. They were also grateful the girl and her mother decided to allow them to try and become foster parents of Natalie. The court finally awarded them custody after their attorney showed the judge the letter Amber wrote them. Hei did not want the letter seen since it mentioned things about Amber she felt would shame the girl, but their attorney assured her it would help so she relented. Then the judge asked Natalie herself if she wanted to live with the Isuels and Hei wept in the courtroom when the girl answered "yes very much" without hesitation. They brought Natalie a large amount of new clothes and took her home to Seattle. She had gotten used to the Korean couple but when she entered their house the girl felt fear again. Hei sat her down at the kitchen table and gave her some cookies and milk and sat with her and took her hand in hers.

"Natalie, don't be scared, honey…this is your home now. I want you to be happy here."

Natalie smiled shyly, she had come to love this man and woman and even got over the awe she felt at the presence of the lovely Ran's mother and father and the two people who loved her wonderful Amber so much, "Yes, ma'm…I…I am just a little confused. Are you my mommy and daddy now?'

Hei smiled, "Yes it is confusing…all that legal talk. Well…we are your guardians which means we take care of you. We would love to adopt you and become your mother and father…but it takes time. The court has to send people to check up on you and make sure you are safe and treated well. And of course it depends on you…if you want to live here and like for us to be your mommy and daddy."

Natalie smiled but did not answer; her attention was distracted as she stared out the kitchen window to the back yard. Her young blue eyes were drawn to the play set with swings and slide.

"Wow…that is so neat! Can I go play on them, ma'm?" Hei smiled, ever since she met the child, the girl called her m'am and nothing else and her husband sir. She stated proudly over and over that Amber taught her manners and how to be a lady. Hei would smile at the girl when she announced this and told her she had an excellent teacher since Amber was a perfect lady herself.

"Yes, we can go play on them. Byung had them all fixed and redone when we found out you would come home with us. Ran and Amber used to play on those exact same swings." Hei chuckled at the memory and Natalie's eyes grew wide and she started at the play set in wonder, "You should have seen them. Ran was such a daredevil and tomboy and would push Amber until she was screaming not to go any higher. I would have to scold Ran about tormenting poor Amber on the swings. Amber was never as brave as Ran was." Hei smiled at Natalie, "What was also humorous was that while I would be scolding Ran, Amber would ask me to leave her alone and defend her. After Ran had the poor child in tears out of fear she would still defend her friend."

"They loved each other a lot, huh?" Natalie asked. She knew they did from Amber's stories but she wanted to hear someone else say it.

Hei smiled wider and fondly. "Oh yes, I wish you could have seen the two together…even as they were older. They had such love and a bond no one could ever break. The only time I ever saw my Hu-Ran cry as a teenager was when she and Amber had a terrible fight and she thought Amber did not love her anymore. They were very wonderful together. Now, let's go put your things in your room and go outside and play." Hei took the girls hand and led her to her room while she carried one of Natalie's small suitcases.

"M'am, you are wrong about Amber. She was the bravest girl I ever met. She…she did things to protect me…things that made her get hurt very badly so I would be safe. She was very brave."

Hei nodded and thought about what Amber must have endured and what this little girl saw that no little child should ever see and wanted to cry, but she held her emotions in front Natalie. The small girl was already scared in the new house and she did not frighten the girl by breaking into tears.

"Yes…I should not have said that…Amber was very brave about a lot of things in life. She took chances Ran never would have taken. Amber took chances on people and her heart, while Ran was always afraid to do that; it was something Ran envied in Amber and admired about her."

Natalie smiled as they approached the bedroom door, which was shut, and Hei smiled at the girl again, "Here we go. This used to be Ran's room and then Ambers…of course when Amber stayed with us when Ran was alive they always slept in here together. So it was always both their rooms." Hei opened the door and led the girl in. Natalie stood and stared in the room awe stricken. Ever since Amber first told her about Ran she would try and vision where Ran slept and the bedroom where her goddess Ran would put her arms around her friend Amber and sleep, protecting the girl Natalie loved as dear as a sister. The room stayed unchanged after Ran died; Amber did not want to change a thing so she could remember her friend. Natalie took in every poster on the wall, she looked at the pictures on the nightstand in wonder, and she ran to the shelf that held the trophies Ran won in the sports she played. She wanted to take some down and hold them, but she was afraid to. She was scared to hold the sacred items she heard so much about. She looked at the bed.

"M'am…can I lay down on the bed? Just for a little while."

Hei chuckled, "Of course, sweetie, this is your room now. We can change anything you want in it."

Natalie clapped her hands in glee and carefully took off her small high heels and lay on the bed. "No…I want to keep it just the same. I do not want to change a thing." She said as she rolled on the bed and giggled as she took a pillow from under the blanket and took a deep sniff. She frowned and looked up at the Korean lady she was growing to love a great deal. "It doesn't smell like she said it did." She pouted.

"Smell? I don't understand, child." Hei said as she sat on the edge of the bed and pushed the fine golden hair from Natalie's face.

"Yeah, Amber said it smelled like vanilla…like Ran. She said it was the greatest smell in the world."

Hei smiled sadly, "I'm sorry, baby, but things like that fade in time. Amber…well…Amber sometimes embellished her stories about Ran, I'm afraid."

Natalie giggled, "I know…I know some of the things were not true. Like how Ran would shoot golden beams of light from her eyes when protecting Amber from evil people…but I never said anything because it made Ams happy to tell me those things. I like your stories about them because they are so real. I…I just wished it smelled like Ran so I could pretend to be Amber and remember her greatest friend in the world."

Hei chuckled, "Yes she may have exaggerated some things, but that was how Amber saw her. But I bet I have some of the lotion and shampoo Ran used and if not I know the kind and we will get you some to use."

"Really? Oh, that would be great! Maybe I could use the kind Amber used one day and then the next day the kind Ran used."

"Of course dear," Mrs. Isuel chucked again, "but we have to buy Amber's at a special store. God forbid if that girl ever had to use shampoo or lotion or makeup from just anywhere."

Natalie giggled and looked on the night stand and grabbed a picture off the top. She stared at it for a long time, "They were both so very beautiful. Both of them were so lovely." She held the photo up and it was one Ran always kept on her nightstand. It was a picture of the two girls when Ran turned sixteen. Both girls were dressed in lovely cocktail dresses and wearing long evening gloves. Hei chuckled.

"Yes, they were the prettiest two girls I ever saw. That one was taken at Ran's sixteenth birthday. After her party, Amber told her she had a special present to give her and the next day Amber made Ran dress up and took out to a day at the spa, a makeover, and then to a fancy dinner to a tea room. Ran complained about being so dressed up and argued with Amber at the spa when they fixed her hair and put makeup on her. She fussed the entire time…but deep down she loved it. She loved that Amber dressed her up and took her to get a makeover. She told me later it was the best birthday present she ever got."

Natalie looked at the woman, "You miss them a lot, don't you?"

"Yes, sweetie, I miss my girls so much. It makes me sad at times when I think of them. But…It also makes me happy when I talk about them with you."

Natalie suddenly hugged Hei and started crying. "I miss her, M'am, I miss her so much. She was the best friend I ever had. I loved her…I loved her a great deal. I…I hope she knows I do not hate her for what she did. I could never hate her. I…I feel so terrible about…about being here!"

Hei patted the girl's back gently, "She knows, baby, she knows you love her. Now why, Natalie…why do you feel bad about being here?"

Natalie sniffled and wiped her eyes, "Because I think I am going to love it here…and…Amber had to do the things she did for me to be here. If…if she never would have loved me she would still be alive. I…I feel like it is my fault she did what she did."

Hei hugged the girl tighter, "No, baby, do not think that…please do not think that. Poor Amber…well…she was sick in a way and it is not your fault. She loved you a great deal. She wrote me and told me she loved you so much. Please don't blame yourself…please. Do you remember when I said Amber was brave about certain things like giving her heart and love…well she gave it to you when she thought she could not ever love again. Be proud of that, Natalie, be proud that you got her love." Hei begged the girl and felt tears in her own eyes. Natalie pulled back and wiped her eyes again.

"Yes, m'am…I…I am proud that she loved me…I just miss her so much."

"Me too, baby…now let's go play on those swings."

Natalie smiled and like an average eight year old her sadness seemed to vanish and she jumped off the bed followed Hei outside. She went up and down the slide several times laughing and then climbed through the twists and turns of the play set and then begged Hei to swing her. As Hei was swinging her she kept begging to go higher over and over again.

"Higher! Higher! Swing me higher, mommy!" Natalie yelled and then slowed when she noticed Hei stopped pushing her and was crying. The girl jumped from the swing and ran to the woman and hugged her.

"I…I did not mean to scare you…I'm sorry." Natalie found herself being hugged tightly.

"No, sweetie…you…you called me mommy and…and I am happy you called me that. I wanted you to call me that for a long time."

Natalie hugged her back, "I love you and I want you to be my mommy and sir to be my daddy. I love the both of you and promise to be as good as Ran and Amber were. I want to be just like them"

Hei laughed, "Oh no, child, I don't know if I could handle a mixture of both of them. Trust me…they were not all good all the time. Those two girls got into some messes when growing up. Don't let Amber's stories of their saint like behavior fool you. I will have to tell you some of the things they did while growing up. But I want you to grow up and to be you and yourself…and I promise you, I will love you so much and my husband will love you as well. But I want you to grow up and be Natalie."

Natalie giggled, "Ohhh…Sounds like some more stories about them I did not know about. Mommy, could you sit next to me and tell me a story of the lovely Ran and the beautiful Amber."

Hei got to her feet and grabbed the girl's small hand, "Yes I can do that, Natalie, what story would you like to hear?"

Natalie grinned, "How they met! I want to hear how they met!" She cried out as the two sat on the play set and Hei told her how the lovely Ran met the beautiful Amber…the way Amber used to tell it.

End

**A/N – For those curious about the White Lady – she is a ghost found in legends in countries around the world as a harbinger of death. She is the ghost of a woman who suffered much trauma in her life**.


	22. Epilogue

Epilogue – 10 years later.

A truly breathtakingly beautiful blonde teenage girl sat on the edge of the bed. Her thick blonde gold hair was long, about 3 inches below her shoulders, and was styled to hang free; if she did not style her hair it became bushy. She stood about five eight and her long tan perfectly shaped legs stuck out from under the simple yellow sundress she wore. Her body was toned and athletic in an almost boyish way until one looked at her well shaped butt. Her skin was evenly tanned by the sun and when needed a saloon. She did not wear makeup and rarely did as she did not need it to cover her perfect complexion. In her lap she held an opened box full of old photos. The girl looked at the looseness of her top and smiled. She used to wish her breasts were larger than their barley B cup size, but she found out most boys overlooked her small firm breasts in favor of her beautiful face, tone thin but athletic body, and very nicely shaped butt. The girl sighed as she pulled several photos out at once.

Natalie Isuel was eighteen and today she was graduating high school. She looked at the clock and smiled, she had plenty of time to look at the pictures before she had to leave but she also knew her mother and father would be calling for her soon to hurry up. They always liked to arrive early and her best friend Melissa would be arriving soon to ride to the graduation ceremony with her. Her smile turned into a frown as she looked at first picture. Natalie felt a wave of guilt hit her. She had not opened this box in three years. Before that she would look at the pictures almost every day but as she got older her thoughts turned from the past to surfing, boys, her friends, surfing, school, boys, and surfing again. Natalie was hands down the prettiest girl in her high school, very popular, and had a great many friends. She was a cheerleader, a lacrosse star, and a complete surfer chic. She dated several boys over the years since she was thirteen and finally found one she liked more than the others in Scott and settled on dating him for the past ten months. She cared enough for him to lose her virginity to the boy and discovered she enjoyed sex a lot. Natalie broke up with him the previous night and while she felt sad and cried she knew it was the right thing to do. She did not want to settle down since she had her whole life ahead of her.

The girl looked around her room and seemed to notice how much it changed from the day she first moved in when she was eight. As she got older she changed the décor. Gone were the pictures of the two young girls who were best friends and shared the room for many years and they were replaced with pictures of Natalie and Scott and pictures of her and her best friend Melissa. The only original items left in the room were the trophies Ran Isuel won and Natalie did add some of her own to the collection, and the one picture on the nightstand of two very lovely girls of fifteen and sixteen. Looking at the photo brought a smile back to Natalie's lips. She loved when her friends who never saw her room before would ask who those girls were and Natalie would tell them with great pride they were her sisters. The first girl was Asian and the daughter of Natalie's adoptive mom and dad who died when she was sixteen due to leukemia. Natalie giggled as she thought of how much she used to worship the girl when she was younger as her own private goddess due to the stories Amber told her. She looked at the other person in the photo and felt her eyes get watery. Even after ten years she still got emotional when she thought of Amber. Amber was much shorter than Ran but just as beautiful if not more so. While Ran was like a mythical goddess she worshiped when younger through stories, Amber was the real thing.

Natalie looked up to and admired Amber for the things she did for her when younger. The petite brunette came into her life for just a short period of time but showed her so much. The older girl protected her when she was young from parents she had not considered her real mother and father since she was eight. Amber would have given her life for Natalie and there were times the young blonde girl thought the woman who she called mother would kill Amber. The abuse and torture Amber suffered so Natalie would not have to was goddess like to her and she never forgot what the girl went through to keep her safe from harm even after all these years. Natalie knew in a way Amber did give her life to save hers and she would never forget it. As she got older she began to understand more and more of what Amber did and the abuse she endured at the hands of the man who was Natalie's father and it broke the blonde's heart how someone so kind and loving and brave had to endure those things. Amber gave Natalie love she never knew existed and even while she was only in her life a few months, Amber showed Natalie how love truly should be. To the blonde girl those months with Amber were some of the saddest and happiest months of her life. She got to learn love and friendship through the three friends Amber had in Lilly, Miley, and Oliver. By Amber's death and what she did before she died she got to learn how real parents can truly love their children and what love really was. Natalie wiped the tears from her cheeks and thought of those three friends.

She kept in touch with Lilly over the years and the girl who taught her to surf was now married and owned a very successful surf shop, Malibu Lilly's, that expanded to include eighteen stores in California, Florida, and Hawaii and recently introduced a new clothing line. Natalie last saw Lilly last summer when she visited Hawaii and came in second place in an ammeter surfing contest that Lilly's company was sponsoring. As Natalie accepted her trophy she proudly told the crowd Lilly was the girl who taught her to surf. She was looking forward to seeing Lilly, her husband, and two children at her graduation today and spending a couple of weeks with her in Malibu before she visited her adoptive grandparents in Hawaii. Natalie adored Lilly's two small boys and they thought of her as their cool Aunt Natalie. The aunt who when babysitting them would let them stay up late, eat junk food, and tell them cool stores of their mother they found hard to believe at times. Natalie also thought a great deal of Lilly's husband James. He was a very good man and a complete geek who was a computer software engineer who Lilly adored. Lilly amazed Natalie that after two children the lady still looked great in a bikini and always had boys much younger flirting with her constantly. Natalie giggled when she remembered after the surfing competition a photographer from a surf magazine who was covering the contest asked her and Lilly to do a photo spread for the magazine. Natalie was all for it but Lilly told the man no way. She had seen how they pose their models and she was not going to have any part of it and neither was she going to let Natalie since she was only seventeen and could not sign a release without permission and even if she could there was no way Lilly was going to let her pose like that. Natalie pouted for about a two hours.

Oliver she never saw much of again but heard occasionally from Lilly he was doing great and living in Los Angeles as a somewhat successful talent agent and one his third wife. The saddest was Miley. She saw Miley when she was younger when she would visit Lilly and sometimes Miley would accompany Lilly to Seattle to visit Natalie, but she had not seen her in years. Miley did not take the break up with Lilly very well. Lilly broke up with her soon after Miley dropped the Hannah Montana role and started performing as Miley Stewart when she dropped out of college to perform. Miley went from young pop star to trying her hand at alternative rock, techno music, and some punk. She was very successful at first and then the drinking and drugs took their toll. Lilly loved Miley very much but got tired of the lifestyle Miley led and the other girls Miley would hook up with for a night or so while on tour and Lilly could no longer endure the rumors in the tabloids of the parties and even orgies Miley had after shows and she ended the relationship. Miley took the breakup very hard and turned from drinking to hard drugs and Miley's career tanked. There were times she was so drunk and stoned she could not finish a concert and her fans turned on her. She entered rehab several times and was currently in Tennessee on her family's farm tying to get her grip on life back. Natalie thought it was heartbreaking and wanted to help but knew better than to mention Miley to Lilly. Lilly told her once that she was done with Miley Stewart and the pain she caused her. Lilly explained their relationship was full of love, intense passion, and heartbreak and soon the heartbreaks outweighed the love and passion and she could not handle being hurt anymore by someone she loved as much as she loved Miley and has not talked to the girl in years. Natalie still kept in touch with Miley through emails and even sent the girl letters and funny cards while she was in rehab. It may have taken a long time for Miley to respond to her at times, but she always did. Miley always ended her emails asking Natalie to tell Lilly hello for her and to give Lilly her love. Natalie always remembered fondly the kind tall brown haired girl who was so sweet to her when she was younger.

Natalie looked up when she heard a knock on her door.

"Yeah, mom, come in."

Hei Isuel smiled as she walked in the room, "We are going to be late, Natalie."

Natalie smiled and patted the bed for her mother to sit down. Hei smiled and sat next to the girl.

"We have time mom…plenty of time. I was looking over these pictures again."

"You have not looked at them in sometime…why now?"

Natalie shrugged, "Feeling guilty I guess. I mean…I have not looked at them in years and I…I should. I feel bad about that."

Hei put her arm around her daughter, "Nonsense. Those pictures are not her. Plus you visit her gravesite almost every weekend. You have no reason to feel guilty."

"Yeah…but still feel bad. I used to look at them everyday, remember?"

The older woman chuckled, "Yes I remember…I also remember you begging me every night to tell you stories of them when you should have been sleeping." Hei pulled a handful of pictures from the box and started going through them. "Do you remember much about her, Natalie? You were young when she died?"

Natalie smiled, "Mom, I remember every little thing about her. Every detail about her." She closed her eyes, "When I close my eyes I can see her as if she was standing in front of me. Always dressed perfectly and not a hair out of place and her makeup always perfect looking so beautiful…like an angel. I remember her soft voice and her musical laugh. I remember how she walked and how clumsy she could be when doing something as simple as walking fast but then so damn graceful when she would do something as simple as sit down to eat. I remember how ladylike she was and how charming she was." Natalie opened her eyes as they grew watery again but she smiled, "I remember how she would scold me for being unlady like and how she tried to teach me to act like a lady and use good manners. I…I remember how she protected me and the things she did so I would not get hurt. I can remember how my heart would seem to want to burst out of my chest with joy when I saw her after school or just when I woke up in the morning and saw her making breakfast for me when she was allowed to. God, I loved her so much." Natalie looked at her mother, "Did you know I used to get mad at her when I was younger? I used to get so angry at her for what she did."

Hei smiled sadly, "No I did not know that. You never told me but it was understandable. I mean regardless of what they did they were still your mother and father and when she," Hei swallowed hard, "when she killed them I know it was an awful blow to you. I am glad you forgave her and I know God will too."

Natalie laughed, "Mom…please…God should not only forgive her but He should make her a _fucking _saint for killing that bitch and that sick perverted man and for the things she did to protect me from getting hurt. Sorry for the word, but He should and…and they were never my parents! No…I used to get mad at her for jumping off that pier and for leaving me. And then she did not even write me a letter or note. She wrote one to Lilly and you but not me, and I used to get so angry at that also."

Hei put her arm around her daughter and pulled her close, "Honey, she was so mixed up when she did those things, you know that. Her mind was not hers at that time. She…she was not in control of her own mind then. I'll never understand why she jumped off that pier…no one will, but she was not herself when she did it. I…well…Natalie, I never showed to the letter she wrote and I never wanted to and I am not going to now. I am sorry if that hurts you, but you never needed to see it. She mentioned you a lot in that letter and the one to Lilly and she told us of her great love for you. She…well…she wanted you to forget her. I think that is why she did not write you. She felt you would be better off without knowing her and what she did."

Natalie laid her head in her mother's lap and Hei gently ran her hands through her thick blonde hair and started to cry, "But I did not want to forget her. How could I after all she did for me. I…I never wanted to forget her and I won't. She did so much for me and I never got to thank her…I never got to tell her I love her one last time. I never got to say goodbye to her and that hurt." Natalie turned over on her back so she was looking up at her mother as she wiped her eyes, "Mom, you asked me if I remember her and I told you I remembered every little thing about Amber…well I also remember the bad. I remember every scream from her as that bitch tortured her. And that was what is was, mom…torture. I have never told you everything they did to her, and like your letter…I won't tell you. You and dad don't need to know; it would hurt too much, but she did not just hurt Amber…that bitch tortured her. I remember Amber's every words as she begged and pleaded for that woman not to hurt her anymore. I remember the pain in my heart as she would tell me to go to my room and put on my head phones and listen to music so I could not hear her screams when that woman did things to her. I can remember the bruises and the scars on her pretty body the next day and it broke my heart she did it all for me so I would be safe. I remember the sick feeling I would get in my stomach when I did something so small and silly like break a glass or spill some juice and know how Amber would do something worse so that woman would take it out on her and not me. How my heart would break when I knew Amber would take any punishment that should have been directed to me. I'm just glad I was too young to understand what that sick perverted man did to her at night. I begged her to leave…hundreds of times, but she would not leave me there. She loved me that much and…I hope she knew how much I loved her. I can never forget what she did for me, mom, and I never want to…even the bad. How could I forget her? Why should I ever want to forget her? I owe her so much. Do you think she knew how much I loved her? I was only eight and I don't think I could ever tell her how much I loved her or show it. I should have bowed down and kissed her feet every day for what she did for me but all I could do was run and hide in my room in fear as that whore tortured the girl who gave me such love and showed me such bravery. I still feel the shame of that to this day. The shame of being such a coward and being so scared while she was so damn brave. I…I used to run and hide in my room and pray for God to kill them when I should have been at her side enduring the same torture she suffered." Natalie paused and wiped he tears from her eyes.

Hei felt her own eyes water as she thought of Amber and what the girl had to endure and of Natalie and what she saw when she was a child. "She did, baby, she knew how much you loved her. I know she did. I knew Amber for a long time and she knew you loved her. And you were only eight, baby; don't feel bad about being scared. Why all this now, Natalie? Why think about it all today?"

Natalie sat up and wiped her eyes and stared at the silver ring with Korean characters engraved on it. A gift on her thirteenth birthday from her mother and a ring she never took off. She knew the history of the ring and how Ran first gave it to Amber when she died and Natalie was very proud to wear it. "Just feeling nostalgic I guess. I am graduating and I'll be gone all summer and then to college in the fall. I…I won't be back in this room for a long time and it makes me sad. I'll miss it and the house…I don't know…just feeling a little crazy today I guess. I…I was very happy growing up here."

Hei smiled, "No, dear…it is understandable. We, your father and I, were very happy as well that you grew up here. So how does Scott feel about you leaving for the entire summer?"

Natalie smiled and was glad for the change of subject. Today was supposed to be a happy day for her. "Well…we broke up last night…my idea. I don't want to get tied down and he was getting to serious. I care for him and it hurt, but I don't think…no…I know I did not love him. Hell, I may listen to grandma and find some Korean boy to marry. She always told me I won't be happy unless I marry a good Korean boy. I think she has some lined up for me to go out with over the summer. You know…escort me to the club and the social gatherings. All I want to do is surf while there. But that one guy she set me up with last year was hot. I wander if he'll be there this year." Natalie laughed.

Hei joined her laughter, "Baby, get used to it. She did the same to Ran every since she turned thirteen. Humor her a few nights and then she will ease up. You father and I will be there later and we'll get her off your back and your grandfather will help as well."

Natalie stopped laughing and stared at the ring again for a long time and twisted it around her finger with her thumb, "Mom, would she have been proud of me? I need her to be proud of me." Natalie turned to face her mother and Hei saw the tears running down her cheeks again. "Tell me I was a good daughter. I need to know her sacrifices were worth it. Please tell me I was a good daughter even if you have to lie to me."

Hei smiled sadly, "Oh, baby…I don't need to lie. Natalie, no mother or father could have asked for a better daughter. I promise you that. Yes Amber would have been so proud of you and the young lady you have become. We had our rough moments but you are as close to being a perfect daughter as one can be. You gave your father and me such pride and joy. You are so beautiful inside and out. I was so proud of you when you gave that money to those charities. But that is you. You have never been materialistic or selfish or arrogant or conceded. You are a truly wonderful girl and daughter. Amber would have been very proud of you, baby, very proud."

Natalie smiled at the comment. When she turned eighteen she found out Amber left her all the money that was set up in her trust. Money from her parents, their life insurance policies, and money from Amber's brother's life insurance policy (a young man Natalie proudly called her uncle Patrick). The money totaled way into the hundred of thousands of dollars. Natalie never even considered keeping it and after talking to her father and with his help she donated the money. Half went to various charities that helped abused children and the other half to a mental research facility that was trying to help discover the cause and even medication and hopefully one day find a better treatment for schizophrenia. By the time she was eighteen Natalie knew she did not need the money but growing up she never knew how much money her mom and dad had. They never flaunted it with expensive cars or other material things. True their house was large but Natalie had friends whose parents had less money but larger houses. It was not until she was sixteen she learned how rich her parents were. Her mother flew her and eight of her best friends to New York City on her sixteenth birthday on a private jet (her mom and her best friend Melissa's mother as chaperones of course). They stayed at a very luxury hotel and had a wonderful time. It was in New York when she happened to be waiting for her friend Melissa to finish her shower that she picked up a copy of Forbes that had the top one hundred richest people in the U.S. Her dad was number eighty seven and there was even a very good article on his business in the issue. Natalie never told her friends or mentioned it to her mom and dad. She was like her parents; she did not flaunt herself and preferred to be down to earth as any typical surfer girl. But when she received the trust she knew she did not need the money and felt others could benefit more by it so she donated it to the charities without giving her name.

Natalie hugged her mother tight, "Thank you, mommy, thank you for everything you have done for me. I love you so much."

Hei felt her own eyes tear up again and gripped her daughter tighter. After a while their moment was interrupted by a knock on the door and Byung walked in the room with a smile on his face. "Natalie, if you do not have your valedictorian speech ready yet it never will be. Hurry ladies we must go. I have already put your luggage in the car so you can leave straight from the ceremony with Lilly. Hurry ladies we have to go soon. Melissa just got here and is waiting." Byung left the room and Natalie looked at her mother.

"Mom…give me a moment with dad. I…well…I need to talk to him as well. Tell Melissa I'll be down in a minute."

Hei smiled and nodded. She knew her daughter wanted to thank her father as well and it was going to get emotional. Her husband doted on the girl and Natalie looked up to him a great deal and treasured their father daughter moments. As Natalie walked to the door she paused when her mother called out for her. She turned her head.

"Natalie, this is your home. Never forget that. No matter what, this is your home and always will be." The woman said in Korean.

Natalie winked, "Thanks, mother…I love you." She answered in the same language and left the room to talk to her father.

**A/N – This story is dedicated to my cousin Keith. Keith was a little over one year older than me and we were pretty close growing up. Keith was fifteen years old when he first heard the voices in his head and they told him to do terrible things. Keith spent months in a mental institution and was 16 when diagnosed with schizophrenia. At eighteen the voices in his head told him to put a .38 pistol in his mouth and pull the trigger. He was really a great guy until the voices took over.**

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